


unpredictable

by laconicGhost



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Multi, Pining, Slow Burn, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trans Male Character, chapter 9 is the one and only explicit chapter, good family relationships, i refuse to write a 100k+ fic with a sad ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-02-08 11:43:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 120,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12863808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laconicGhost/pseuds/laconicGhost
Summary: Genji rolls his eyes again. “I’m not asking Angela or Zenyatta to help me with this. Angela would rip me to pieces for even considering it, and Zenyatta hates lying to people. Besides, I’m sure my father wouldn’t care what my partner did as long as I was happy.” He folds his hands together and bows his head. “So please: Jesse McCree, be my fake boyfriend long enough so I don’t have to get married. My social life is on the line.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so... ghost is back at it again with fic writing, but this time its for overwatch lol
> 
> happy mcgenji week y'all!! this fic is what i've been working on for nanowrimo, and i wanted to start getting it out at the beginning of the week but life kind of got in the way hahaha ;; anyway, i'm just glad i got to start posting it before the week was over!! 
> 
> anyway, enough of my rambling. i hope you enjoy!!

Buzzing cuts through the last dredges of sleep that are caught in Jesse’s mind as he waits in front of his coffee maker the morning after a late night at the bar. He rubs at his eyes as he yawns, reaching for his phone lying on the small kitchen table shoved against the wall, and praying to the _Lord above_ that it wasn’t Ana or Gabe already. He desperately needs a full _pot_ of coffee before being able to deal with either of them yet. Checking the pot again, and seeing it only a fourth of the way full, Jesse takes a deep breath in before checking his screen.

He exhales heavily in relief when neither Amari or Reyes’ names appear on the screen, but rather Genji’s. _Genji_ he could handle this early -- mostly just because the Shimada was mostly hung-over in the morning whenever he was up at all, and he was rarely in a chatty mood then unless he needed something.

It’s a text that Jesse can’t read fully in the lock-screen preview because of the length, which rules out the hangover. He yawns again, and with one last mournful look at his percolating coffee machine, takes a seat at the table before opening up the conversation.

 

**Genji** : _hey do you have time to hang out today?? i wanna talk to you about something_

 

Uh oh, that was never a good sign. Usually “talking about something” involved either Genji vigorously complaining about his family or trying to pull Jesse into another one of his schemes that always ended up going wrong. Neither of which were particularly bad, Jesse had to admit, as the two of them have bonded over their escapades and have gotten into plenty of trouble together that they _both_ have roped the other into. No, Jesse’s main problem was just that he wasn’t sure how prepared he was to do any of these things _today._

He had taken an extra shift at the bar he worked at the previous night, so he was already exhausted. Not only that, but he had promised Gabriel to come back home and help with packing away the rest of the house since he and Sombra were moving to another smaller house across town, and then that night he had another late shift at the bar again. Adding an adventure with his best friend into the mix just seemed to sap any energy he had left right out of him.

He thinks for a minute before he replies.

 

**Jesse** _: what exactly does “somethin” mean? i’ve got a busy day darlin_

 

**Genji** _: it’s a surprise :P aka ill tell you if you can make it lmao_

 

Another red flag. Which probably means it’ll have to do with getting Genji out of trouble. Jesse runs a hand through his unkempt hair and sets his phone in front of him as he thinks. While Gabriel wasn’t expecting him until around three, that only gave him a few hours to discuss and try and help out his best friend -- and he’s hoping that’d be enough, because he can’t blow off his family or he’ll never hear the end of it. He grabs his phone again.

 

**Jesse** : _you ain’t in trouble are ya?_

 

There’s a few seconds’ pause in which the little ellipse that represents Genji typing hangs in the corner of the screen, and the longer it’s there the more Jesse’s heart sinks lower and lower in his chest. If Genji really needed that much help, there wasn’t any way that two hours would cover it. Finally, the messages pool in.

 

**Genji** : _no. well, not… exactly._

 

A pause.

 

**Genji** _: its kind of complicated?_

 

Another pause.

 

**Genji** : _not a bad complicated though_

 

**Genji** _: ill... explain everything when you get here. IF you can get here. i promise_

 

The messages finally stop after that. Jesse hums to himself, pleased to know that the situation Genji’s found himself in is not a _bad_ one, but still unhappy there’s an issue at all. He takes a minute to looks up and check his coffee maker, and is thankful to see there’s finally enough in the pot for a cup. He pulls himself out of the chair he’s seated in and crosses the kitchenette to pour himself a mug, mentally mapping out his schedule for the day now that Genji’s gonna be a part of it too.

He takes a long gulp of nearly scalding black coffee and reaches for his phone again.

 

**Jesse** : _i’ll be there to pick you up by 1 but i have somewhere to be at 3, ok?_

 

The reply is instantaneous.

 

**Genji** : _you are a lifesaver cowboy and ill start working off that debt with buying lunch_

 

Jesse snorts and replies in thanks, checking the time before he sets his phone back down with his coffee. Nearly eleven thirty -- just enough time to get ready before he has to drive out to the Shimada manor. He pulls his arms over his head in a long stretch, and sets off to start the day.

 

 

A few hours later Genji is sitting across from him at one of the diners they frequent whenever Genji needs a pick me up. Sure enough, he’s sporting a pair of cheap sunglasses at the table even though they’re inside to fight against a raging hangover, nursing a green tea that he always complains is too sugary even though he orders it every single time. A pretty waitress that seems much too focused on Jesse’s hat and Genji’s flirty smile stumbles her way through taking both of their orders before scurrying off towards the kitchen, and it’s when they’re finally alone that Jesse brings up their impending conversation.

“So what do you need my help with?” Jesse asks, raising an eyebrow as he takes a sip of his third cup of coffee. When he picked up Genji that afternoon, he was strangely silent besides for the usual greeting: something was obviously weighing heavily on his mind. The quiet car ride over proved to Jesse that the two cups he had at home wasn’t gonna cut it for the day, so when they arrived at the restaurant he picked the extra caffeine over his usual order of sweet tea.

Genji sets down his drink and thinks for a moment before he runs a quick hand through the bright green of his hair, fidgeting incessantly with his hands. This something must be _really_ bothering him. “It’s… well, it’s gonna be a weird thing to ask, so I need to give you a bit of an explanation first. Like I said before, it’s complicated.”

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” Jesse points out, crossing his arms and making a point to sit back in the booth to show he was calm and attentive. “Just tell what’s got you wound up tighter than a spring.”

There’s another pause as Genji pulls his thoughts together, rubbing at his temples. “So you know my relationship with the rest of my family is kind of… strained right now since Father is sick, right? They don’t like my lifestyle since they want Hanzo and I to take over different parts of the company in case something happens to him, even though I’ve stated to them all how I don’t want to stay in the family business.” He sighs, dropping his chin into his palm and letting his gaze drift over the dessert menus tucked in the condiment basket.

Jesse knows all of this. It’s been the hot topic of _many_ of Genji’s anger fueled rants for years ever since Sojiro Shimada fell ill. He just nods and lets Genji continue.

“They keep talking to both Father and Hanzo about how I should start ‘taking responsibility for my actions’ so Hanzo has started criticizing me every chance he gets nowadays -- I hate it. It’s my life, why does it matter what I do?” He swirls the straw around in his glass for a moment, jabbing at the ice-cubes. “I overheard them the other night talking about how the only reason I sleep around so much is because I don’t have a stable relationship -- that if I had one I’d stop partying and all that.” Jesse can see him roll his eyes behind his sunglasses. “I’ve had plenty of relationships that have lasted longer than a one-night stand, but since my habits never changed they don’t really matter.”

“Surely your dad thinks that logic is horseshit, right? I mean, he’s _always_ on your side,” Jesse interrupts, not liking where this issue is going. Genji groans and drops the back of his head onto the back of the booth behind him, raising a hand to his head again, like just thinking about the conversation is painful.

“ _No_ , he actually thinks it’s a _good_ idea. I think it’s because Hanzo’s too obsessed with work and taking over the business that he’ll never get married -- and he thinks the only way he’ll get grandchildren is through _me_ .” Genji snorts bitterly. “He’s probably right, but I’m not _ready_ for that yet. But when he told me they were gonna start looking for proper suitors...” He trails off with a sigh. “Unless I find a way out of this, I’m doomed.”

“ _Christ_ ,” Jesse breathes, taking another sip of his coffee. Despite how much he disagrees with Sojiro’s idea, he still doesn’t know what Genji wants _him_ to do about it. “I ain’t sure how you want me to help you out, hon. I sure as hell can’t convince your Pa to let you out of an _arranged marriage_. I’m just one of your friends.”

Genji is quiet for a few moments, staring at the ceiling of the diner. Finally, he takes a deep breath. “What if… you weren’t _just_ my one of my friends?”

The words are barely above a whisper, but everything still strings together and Jesse nearly drops his mug of coffee as embarrassment washes over him. “Oh, um -- oh, _Lord_.” Genji raises his head curiously to watch as Jesse trips over his words and fumbles nervously with his hat. “I’m flattered, darlin’, I really am -- but I don’t really feel that way about you--”

Genji swears in Japanese before he’s shaking his head, laughing and waving his hands in front of him. “Oh _God_ no, that’s not what I meant at all. What I’m asking you is--” he pushes his sunglasses up to rest on the top of his head for effect, lacing his fingers together and resting his chin on top of them. “Will you be my _fake_ boyfriend long enough for my family to get off my back?”

“ _Fake_ boyfriend?” Jesse echoes, frowning. Genji nods.

“If I prove to my Father that I’m already in a serious relationship, he’ll call off the suitors and leave me alone.”

It makes enough sense, but something feels off. “I’ll be honest, I feel like I should be one of your _last_ choices for this kind of thing,” Jesse says warily. “I ain’t exactly Prince Charming. You really should choose someone your family approves of.”

Genji rolls his eyes again. “I’m not asking Angela or Zenyatta to help me with this. Angela would rip me to pieces for even considering it, and Zenyatta hates lying to people. Besides, I’m sure my father wouldn’t care what my partner did as long as I was happy.” He folds his hands together and bows his head. “So please: Jesse McCree, be my fake boyfriend long enough so I don’t have to get married. My social life is on the line.”

Jesse still isn’t sure if this is a good idea or not, but if it gets his best friend out of marrying someone he doesn’t want to, how can he refuse? He readjusts his hat and lets out another sigh. “Alright, alright, I’ll help you. _Just_ long enough so your family stops nagging ya. I have no idea how you’re gonna get this to work, but I’ll follow your lead.”

Exhaling a huge burst of air, Genji’s face lights up in a smile and he leans forward and takes Jesse’s hand, squeezing it gratefully. “I’m so glad, thank you so much -- I can’t owe you enough,” he says in relief. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

A wry smile fights it’s way onto Jesse’s face before he can hold it back. “You’ve gotten me outta plenty ‘a situations back in highschool. Time for me to return the favor in a big way,” he says, and Genji laughs while he nods and pulls his hands away. Still, there’s the nagging question back in Jesse’s mind he can’t shake. “Can’t say I ain’t surprised you asked me though. How come me and not someone new?”

Genji replaces his sunglasses back over his eyes and takes another sip of his drink. “You’re more familiar with me than anyone else, of course. I mean, we’ve been friends ever since I moved here.” He shrugs. “It’ll take less time to get our stories straight and everything.” The words sink in for a moment before he snickers to himself, stirring his tea again. “Well, not _straight_ in our case, but you know.”

Jesse laughs at the small joke too. “What was your plan then? Just… show up and introduce me as your boyfriend or…?”

Genji shakes his head. “First we need to find a day or night where we can get together and make sure our stories match up. We can make something up about how we first started dating, and then after that’s decided I’ll take you to meet him.” He purses his lips to the side. “You... do understand it’s not just my family that we have to fool, right? We have to fool _everyone._ ”

That meant Gabriel and the rest of Jesse’s family. He swears colorfully as he drops his face into his hands. “Yeah. Already forgot about that,” he mumbles. “Sombra’s _never_ gonna believe it without the two of us jumping through hoops; she’s sharper than a knife.”

Genji pats his shoulder sympathetically. “I completely understand. Hanzo’s gonna be pretty tough to convince too -- that’s why we have to take steps to make it as believable as possible. It won’t be as hard since we’re already friends, but it’ll still take some time. First, can I see your phone?”

Jesse nods slowly, confused, and pulls his phone from his back pocket and hands it to the man across from him. Genji makes a _tsk_ noise when he takes it in his hands. “God, I forgot how ancient this thing is,” he mutters as he unlocks it without asking what the passcode is. Jesse frowns.

“How do you...” he trails off, and Genji just gives him a cheeky smile but doesn’t answer. Jesse blows his bangs out of his face and decides he’d rather not know, watching his friend as he taps away quickly and quietly before he hums.

“What petnames do you use for people you’re dating?” he asks. Jesse blinks.

“Sorry, what?”

Genji gestures with a free hand while he rolls his eyes again. “ _You_ know-- you call me ‘darling’ and ‘hon’ already, so what would you call me if we were dating?” He twists the phone in his hand to show he’s changing his contact name in the device. “Like I said -- baby steps. This is really the only thing we can do until we get together and start planning for real.”

“By changing your name on my phone,” Jesse states incredulously, raising an eyebrow. Genji sighs loudly and looks up at the ceiling.

“People change the names of their partner on their phones all the time. You’ve never dated anyone in your whole life, have you?” he asks pointedly, and he groans when Jesse shakes his head. The reaction from the Shimada has Jesse feeling the color rising in his face as well as the need to explain himself.

“I never had the time for dating,” he says. “And I ain’t met the right person yet, alright?”

“You mean you’ve never met _anybody_ ,” Genji corrects, grinning crookedly. “God, you’re so boring for someone who likes wearing cowboy clothes.”

Jesse leans forward and smiles back just as wide. “Hey, as far as everyone else is concerned you’re _dating_ this boring cowboy, sweetheart, so get used to it.”

Genji laughs whole-heartedly at that. “Shit, you’re right. _I’m_ the fool who fell in love with the boring American cowboy.” He puts a hand over his heart and puts on a lovesick facade. “He just brought so much balance into my hectic life of partying and sleeping around.” They both dissolve into a fit of laughter, but when they quiet down Genji glances back down at Jesse’s phone again. “So. Nicknames?”

Jesse hums in thought. “I know Sombra loves snooping through my things, so that is a pretty good idea. If she sees anything out of the ordinary she’ll bring it up in front of Dad.” He shakes his head and sighs, reaching for his coffee he nearly forgot about. He makes a face when it goes down lukewarm. “Just put ‘sweetheart’. That’s simple enough.”

Genji nods and types it in. “I’m adding a heart emoji then too,” he says. “If she doesn’t buy it then you can tell her I did it.”

“That’s fair.” There’s a bang from behind them as the jittery waitress from earlier exits from the kitchen door with their tray of food, and Genji quickly finishes what he’s doing before handing Jesse his phone back and pulling his flirty smile back on. She accidentally gives Jesse the plate meant for Genji, and when Jesse responds by simply passing it over to him she quickly apologizes, her cheeks redder than a carton of  strawberries.

Genji’s laugh is absolutely _dazzling_. “No harm done,” he says, definitely playing up his charm in order to get a cute laugh from her -- and that’s when Jesse sees a problem with their plan already. He doesn’t say anything until they receive the rest of their food and she leaves, bashfully smiling at Genji before retreating towards another table.

“There’s gotta be a set of rules we set for this to work, y’know. Like, one: you can’t be flirting with other people if we’re ‘dating’,” he says once Genji’s already digging into his fries, wiggling his fingers to gesture air-quotes. Genji sighs with a full mouth, but thankfully he finishes chewing and swallowing before he speaks.

“I know, I know. I wasn’t gonna do that when we actually came out to everyone.” He rolls his eyes. “Let me have my fun while I still can, Jesse.”

“You can’t be sleeping around either,” Jesse points out, and Genji’s jaw _drops_. Before he can complain, though, Jesse raises an extended finger to shush him. “Look, would you rather jeopardize getting caught with another lover and ending up having to marry some sutor when they find out we were never actually dating?”

A dark eyebrow raises above the pair of cheap sunglasses. “Okay, sure -- but have you considered: _I like getting laid, McCree._ ”

Jesse snorts and picks up his burger. “Looks like you’re gonna have to become reacquainted with your right hand then, sweetheart. At least for a couple months until this whole arranged marriage issue blows over.” He takes a bite, chews for a moment, and swallows. “Unless you _want_ to marry someone your family picks out for you.”

“ _Ugh_ , fine,” Genji snaps. “No hooks up. I get it. My right hand is my new best friend.” He stuffs a few fries in his mouth and reaches for his tea while he continues to mutter. “This plan better fucking work, or I swear to God I’ll go crazy doing absolutely nothing all the time.”

“Aww, it won’t be all bad, sugar,” Jesse grins. “You get to spend plenty of time with lil’ ol’ me for the next few months if this works out. That shouldn’t be too bad, right?”

“I already spend too much time with you,” Genji deadpans, but he cracks a bit of a smile at the end of his snobby remark. He returns to his food. “I’m gonna get sick of you by the end of this, just you watch. Neither of us will want to see each other for _weeks_ when we finally break this off.”

“Which will be…?” Jesse figures there isn’t a date set in stone that Genji feels will be appropriate for their situation, but he still asks anyway out of curiosity, unfurling his fork from his napkin and poking at the dish of mixed vegetables to the side of his plate. Genji shrugs while he chews, and Jesse is already nodding in understanding before he can get a word in.

“Hopefully not longer than a month or two. I’m hoping this all blows over by October.” Genji frowns. “The sooner we get everything sorted away, the sooner we can get started. Your work schedule’s getting changed soon, right? Or are most nights still not good for you?”

Jesse directs a rueful smile in the Shimada’s direction. “Not everyone has the luxury of being able to survive on just a part time job since their Daddy still pays their bills, honey. I still work from eight ‘till whenever they send me home Tuesday through Sunday, unless specified otherwise. The co-worker who offered to switch shifts with me bailed.”

Genji grimaces. “Shit, that sucks.”

“Eh, it’s my own damn fault I didn’t take that mechanic job right after I finished school. I’d’ve been makin’ twice as much as my hourly rate now.” He rolls his shoulders. “It’s only been weighing me down lately ‘cuz the time that usually goes into resting and recovering from shifts has been going to my family. I’ve been helpin’ Gabe and Sombra move. I still keep a lot of my shit at home and I gotta help with _somethin’_ after all.”

Genji seems to open his mouth to ask a question before, suddenly, he swears before his hands dive into his pockets for his phone. “I almost forgot,” he mutters, swiping across the shiny and clean screen of his newer device and aims the camera at the table. “I have to start adding vague pictures of us to my Instagram.”

It’s another wildly random statement that means little to nothing in Jesse’s eyes, but it’s still not the strangest thing he’s heard all day. Still, he wants to try and understand where Genji is coming from. “Pardon?” Genji doesn’t answer and takes a few pictures of their food, pauses to place a few of the things like plates or cups in a position more to his liking. When everything looks perfect and he’s taken as many as he wanted, he hums in concentration as he picks through them all while looking for the best one. It’s not until he’s deciding on filters that he speaks again.

“I know you don’t have one, but that’s going to change pretty soon since I’ll post a lot about you there. Most of our friends follow me there, and also my brother, so vagueing about you and I being an item will definitely start gathering some traction.” He shows Jesse the photo and waits for approval: a simple one with a lunch date aesthetic that only shows off the middle of Jesse’s chest and arms seated at the opposite side of the table with their food in a black and white filter. It’s nice, he has to admit, so he nods wordlessly and Genji smiles and returns his attention to writing a caption.

“I’m not going to show your face until Father gets to meet you, don’t worry.” Another sly grin worms it’s way onto his face. “ _Or_ until I make you get an account of your own so I can tag you in _everything_.”

Jesse tries his best not to grimace _too_ hard. “Uh, how ‘bout we tackle one thing at a time instead? We can get together on Monday and you can do whatever you’d like with me.”

The sly grin grows even more devious at Jesse’s choice of words, which he’s realized just a little too late were the wrong ones to use when he’s talking to Genji _fucking_ Shimada. Genji finishes his Instagram post and puts his phone away, winking. “Barely fake dating for ten minutes and already want a piece of me? What can I say, you have excellent taste. _Expensive_ taste, but still excellent.”

The choice of words nearly makes him choke on his food. “You gonna _charge_ me, sugar? Your fake sweetheart?” Jesse asks, and Genji hums quietly, eyes raised upwards in an expression that showed he was pondering the situation.

“Hmm. Depends on how much you have, I suppose.”

Jesse snorts before he lets out a hearty laugh. “We’ll see how much I can spare on Monday, but I doubt it’ll be enough for you.” He shakes his head, still smiling as he returns to his lunch. “And y’say _I_ have expensive tastes.”

The pink of Genji’s tongue pokes out from his pursed lips at the jab, but his eyes fail to hide his amusement and ever-growing relief. Jesse reckons _that’s_ from knowing the threat to his freedom has diminished somewhat now that he’s agreed to this crazy plan, and seeing it actually reducing the stress that he saw burdening Genji earlier on the ride over makes Jesse feel like their plan will end in a success. He ignores a nagging in the back of his head, and solidifies his plans with Genji for Monday so they can put their plan to action while they finish up their lunch. Afterwards, Genji pays the check and surprisingly, he doesn’t flirt with the waitress as he hands her tip to her, even though she still turns red to the tips of her ears and thanks him repeatedly when she sees how exorbitant it is. He makes sure to send Jesse a spiteful grin when they head outside.

“That better, _honey_?” he snickers, linking arms with Jesse as they step into the hot summer air. Jesse rolls his eyes and decides against bringing up the fact that even though Genji tipped well, he gave extra to the staff he had an eye for, and he didn’t miss the extra ten tucked away in the bills he handed her to pay with.

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you had it in ya. I’m so proud.” He rummages through his jean pockets for his keys as they walk across the parking lot to get to his truck as Genji laughs. He’s about to unlock the vehicle when Genji tugs on his arm, muttering a “wait, wait, wait” as he reaches into Jesse’s back pocket for his phone. Jesse sighs. “What do you need with my things, now?”

“One last piece to set things up,” he replies cryptically, grin on his face. He swipes open the selfie camera and holds it out at arm’s length before he jerks Jesse’s head down so they can press their cheeks together, but before Jesse can fumble out another question Genji says, “Smile!” and presses a kiss to his cheek.

There’s a few clicks, as Genji takes a couple, but he pulls away and looks through them all before deciding on the best one of the bunch and deletes the rest -- and Jesse takes a moment to get over the feeling of being tongue tied. It takes a few seconds, flapping his mouth open and shut before he just settles for readjusting his hat. “Warn me next time, would ya, Genji?” he mutters, and Genji finally looks up and starts laughing hysterically when he sees how flustered Jesse’s become.

“Holy _shit_ , are you serious? That wasn’t your first kiss now, was it?”

“Of course not!” Jesse snaps, fumbling with his keys to open the truck. “Just-- get in the damn truck so I can take you home. If I’m late getting home Gabe’ll be awful sore with me.”

Genji’s not done with his teasing as he gets in the passenger’s side. “You can’t be serious right now, it was just a _kiss_ on the _cheek_ , dude! You’re acting like I whispered something completely dirty in your ear.”

“You caught me off guard! I had no idea _that_ was what you were planning!” Jesse doesn’t even know why he feels like he has to defend himself over this -- especially if the person he’s defending himself against is the same person he’s had to taxi back home blackout drunk and half naked on more than one occasion. “I’d have been fine if you’d just _asked_ , alright?”

Genji is trying to hold back more giggles, but his snorting is proving he’s not doing a good job. “Alright, alright -- I will next time. Hate to break it to you, but if people are going to believe we’re dating, you can’t act like a swooning southern belle every time I try to kiss you from now on.”

Jesse groans and drops his head against the steering wheel. “I won’t if you warn me next time,” he repeats and Genji snorts again in disbelief. Jesse shoots him a glare. “God help me, I’ll make you _walk_ home if you keep it up.” He really won’t, but he’ll do anything to get over his embarrassment. Genji gives him a look that proves he doesn’t believe it for a second, but doesn’t push it any further and returns to whatever he was doing with Jesse’s phone with a wide smile.

“I’m setting this as your background, by the way. And sending it to myself so I can too, because the look on your face is fucking hilarious.”

Jesse sighs. “Of course you are.” He watches Genji work for a moment before he plugs his keys into the ignition turns on his truck. Before he pulls out of the lot, he mutters, “But I ain’t a swooning southern belle” and Genji cackles.

 

 

 

Sombra’s waiting outside the house for him when he pulls into the driveway, arms crossed and leaned up against the open garage. Gabriel is inside the garage, sorting through a stack of unlabeled cardboard boxes and trash bags gathered at his feet.

“You’re late!” Sombra calls as Jesse turns off the ignition, smile as smug as it can be. Jesse tries his best not to grimace too hard when he checks the clock in his truck and sees she’s right. Curse the accident that slowed his trip back from Shimada Manor to a near dead-stop on the free-way.

“I got held up with, uh--” he tries to think about what to call Genji now that they’re already pretending to be secretly dating and fails at coming up with anything that doesn’t sound too suspicious. His phone feels heavier in his breast pocket. “I got held up with a friend. I’m only fifteen minutes late, Liv, Christ.” He steps out of his truck and shuts the door, raising an eyebrow. “You’re not even doing anything.”

His adoptive sister sports a lazy grin. “I told Dad I wasn’t starting until you got here.”

“Well surprise, there he is. Both of you get your asses in here and help me,” Gabriel grumbles, and both Jesse and Sombra quickly step inside the garage. The older man gestures to the collection of things around him. “You can start by going through all your toys and deciding what to pitch and what can be donated -- any indiscernible stains and it goes.”

“No welcome home hug?” Jesse snarks, and Gabriel looks up from a box of gardening tools to shoot him a look that shows he isn’t amused.

“I would have given you one if you were here on time. Now get to work.”

Jesse laughs but does what is asked of him, making his way over to the side of the garage where Sombra’s at to see her picking through bike helmets. “Why do we even have these still?” she complains, picking up one of them. It looks like it’d fit a five year old. “I think the last time I saw this was when I was _seven_.”

Gabriel seals up the box he was searching though with a roll of packaging tape he has tucked in a pocket and carries it across the garage to place it in a growing stack. “You should know nobody around here throws any shit away.” He reaches her side and picks up another one, which looks a little larger but there’s a bunch of scrapes and scuff marks on it. He raises an eyebrow. “This one must have been yours, Jesse.”

“Couldn’t’ve been,” Jesse says, grinning. “I never wanted to take my hat off, so you made me wear my helmet underneath. Whenever I crashed on my bike, the hat was the thing that got torn up, not the helmet.” Sombra snickers and Jesse catches the fraction of a smile that flickers on Gabriel’s face.

“That’s right, how could I forget.” Gabriel holds it for a moment longer, running a thumb over one of the scrapes before sighing and throwing it over his shoulder towards a garbage pile. “As long as they aren’t too bad looking, Olivia, just donate them. That goes for everything else in here. As for you, Jesse, I need your help with these boxes.”

That’s how Jesse ends up spending the rest of his afternoon, sorting through boxes upon boxes of things and moving those boxes to wherever Gabriel wanted him to put them. It’s a good way to get his mind off the whole dating thing with Genji, but it’s also _slow_ work, as the Reyes household just seemed to be the place where _everyone’s_ things seemed to end up. Jesse laughs to himself when he finds something that belongs to Fareeha Amari among the mess, and when asked what to do with it Gabriel just motions to a box that has her name on it.

“She’s coming to get that stuff before we move, or I told her I was going to sell it,” Gabriel explains as he untangles a line of Christmas lights. Or at least, he’s attempting to. “Hana’s a different story. Sombra’s gathering and of her things she finds and we’re just taking it with us since we’re all going to the same place.” He shrugs and says nothing more, but Jesse frowns.

This is the topic that Gabriel likes avoiding: the fact he’s not just moving because of work or to downsize now his kids were growing up. No; the real reason was because he and his longtime friend, on and off again sweetheart Jack Morrison were moving in together. He wasn’t lying when he told Genji how Gabriel and Olivia were moving, he just left out the fact of _why_ \-- mostly because with how hot and cold the relationship Gabriel and Morrison has always been gives him whiplash when he thinks about it, and he doesn’t want to explain if things go south ( _again_ ) in a couple months and he has to help them move somewhere else. Jesse chews his bottom lip as he rummages through Christmas decorations before he thinks about how he’s going to bring it up without Gabriel turning into a brick wall.

“Are… are you sure you two are ready for this?” he finally asks. Gabriel tenses, but doesn’t answer and tugs a little too hard on a knot in the string of lights he’s working on. Jesse tries again, trying to sound casual about everything. “I mean, moving in is a big deal for you guys. I just want to make sure you aren’t doing anything you’re not prepared for.”

Finally, Gabriel gives up with the impossible knot in the lights and stuffs them in a bag as he sighs. “We’ve talked about this, Jesse. We’re going to be fine. With both Sombra and Hana going off to college this fall, we think the houses will be too empty for us to be living by ourselves. If we really want to make this work….” He runs a hand down his face and that’s when Jesse realizes how heavy this is weighing on his father’s shoulders. “It’s now or never.”

With a breath, Jesse nods. “I know how much this means to you, Dad,” he says quietly, taping up the box he’s sorting through and setting it at his feet. “I know how much you want to make this work.”

A anxious laugh punches itself from Gabriel’s lungs. “ _Dios_ , I do. You can’t even imagine how badly I want this to work out for us. You say you’re worried, I’m fucking _terrified_. But then again, I’m so tired of not doing anything either.” He shoots Jesse a wry smile. “I’m heading into my late fifties -- there’s no need for me to keep acting like a child when it comes to who I love. You can see how far that got me after all these years.”

Jesse grins back. “I’m taking notes on what _not_ to do, Pops. Don’t worry.”

Gabriel snorts and returns to his work. “I’d hope so. Whoever you end up meeting, kiddo, I hope to God you don’t make as many mistakes as I have. I only want the best for you.”

Jesse tries not to flinch when he remembers Genji and the promise he made him earlier that day. _We have to fool everyone._ He exhales quietly, and hopes someday that he’ll be able to explain everything to his adoptive father. “I know you do,” he says, and goes about finishing his work for the day with questions echoing in his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few moments go by where Genji hangs over the counter, fingers thrumming against his thigh as he debates with himself. He’s slow to start, fiddling with the string on his teabag as he drops it into his mug and begins to speak. “It’s just...” He sighs. “If this plan is gonna work, we need to move some stuff up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go chapter 2! thank u anyone who left a comment or kudos, u keep me confident enough to keep posting <3
> 
> pls enjoy!!

Jesse wakes with a start on Monday morning with a knock on his apartment door. He blinks blearily, pushing himself up with his arms to find himself on his couch and not his bed. Must have passed out the instant he got in the door earlier that morning he thinks, as he regards his work clothes still on his person. At least he got his shoes off before he hit the pillow of the couch, boots strewn carelessly across the floor.

There’s another series of knocks and Jesse groans to himself. “I’m comin’, I’m comin’, Christ,” he calls towards the door, grimacing as he gets to his feet. He’s stiff and sore and _God_ , he’s never sleeping on the couch ever again as long as he lives if this is how he feels afterwards. He snags his boots as he passes them and sets them by the door before undoing the chain lock to greet his guest.

It’s Genji. Jesse is not at all surprised even though he feels he should be since it’s early on a Monday. The Shimada has a plastic bag in his hands and a huge grin on his face, amused to see Jesse in such disoriented state. He shoves his sunglasses up to rest on the top of his head and puts his hand on his hip as Jesse rubs sleep from his eyes.

“Morning, baby,” he says, winking. Oh, right. Genji was supposed to be his fake boyfriend. Before Jesse can answer, his friend does a full blown stop when he sees Jesse still wearing his work clothes, giving him a concerned look-over as his smile drops clean off his face. “Did… did you sleep well last night?”

Jesse shrugs and lets him in as he yawns. “I didn’t get home ‘til five this mornin’.” Genji is still hesitant, hanging near the door even though he starts shucking his sneakers.

“Shit -- is it to early for me to be here? You can go back to sleep for a bit if you want,” he offers, but Jesse shakes his head as he shuts the front door and makes his way towards his kitchen. He checks the clock as he passes by and finds it’s half past ten: around the time he should be getting up anyway.

“You’re fine, honey. You want somethin’ to drink?” he asks as he goes about setting his coffeemaker up to start. He knows not to offer any of it to Genji -- he hates the stuff. “I got tea, but I ain’t sure if you’d like any of what Ana left here.”

Genji follows Jesse into the kitchen and sets his plastic bag on the table. “Where do you keep your tea?” Jesse motions towards a cabinet as he pours water into the back of the machine in front of him, and Genji crosses the room to open it up. There’s a couple seconds of shuffling before Genji pulls out a yellow box. He hums while he reads the label and pops open the top. “Lemon Ginger sounds fine to me.”

Jesse yawns and reaches for the kettle on the stove to hand to his friend, and when Genji takes it he crosses over to the kitchen to fill it up. He dislikes the quiet around them, feels like it’s alight with a strange sort of tension since they haven’t spoken since they went out to lunch together, so he clears his throat as he sticks a coffee filter in his machine. “So, uh, how was your weekend?”

Genji shrugs disinterestedly as he puts the kettle on the stove. “I worked on Saturday at the flower shop for a few hours, so I asked Zenyatta for some advice about all the shit that’s going on at home.” His fingers linger on the knobs on the stove to turn on the burner for his water and he sighs. “He told me I should trust in Father to make the correct decision for my life, but when I got home? Well--” He cuts himself off with a shake of the head. “Wait, shit, no. I’m not dumping any of this on you right now.”

Jesse’s stomach sours. “What happened, Genji?”

The green-haired Shimada busies himself with digging through his cupboards for a mug to put his tea in while he continues to shake his head. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.” His voice is curt in all the wrong ways: Genji wants him to drop this. Jesse frowns and puts down the bottle of cinnamon he’s holding and folds his arms across his chest.

“Genji Shimada, even if I wasn’t your fake sweetheart, I still care an awful lot about you and I can tell when something’s gnawing on you. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

A few moments go by where Genji hangs over the counter top, fingers thrumming against his thigh as he debates with himself. He’s slow to start, fiddling with the string on his teabag as he drops it into his mug and begins to speak. “It’s just...” He sighs. “If this plan is gonna work, we need to move some stuff up.”

Jesse doesn’t like the sound of that. “What exactly do you mean by that?”

Genji turns so he’s facing Jesse, but he keeps his gaze to the floor. “When I got home from work on Saturday, my father called me aside and told me he had a few people he wanted to meet, and we were going to be having dinner at the house? And whenever he wants me to meet anyone for  _business_ things it’s always at a stuffy work party and Hanzo’s there too but it’s not like that this time.”

“The suitors,” Jesse states, mouth dry, and Genji nods mournfully as he chews his bottom lip. Jesse exhales sharply. “I thought we were gonna have more time than this, sugar.”

“I know!” Genji cries, running a nervous hand through his hair and snatching his sunglasses off his head in the process. He tucks them in the pocket on the front of his short sleeved button-down. “Usually he’s busy enough with work that it’d take him a week or two to plan something like a dinner party at the house-- but no.” He covers his face with his hands and groans loudly. “I’m so  _fucked_ if we don’t do something before this stupid thing.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jesse instantly tries to comfort, quickly finishing the steps to set up his coffee maker and starts it up before crossing over to his best friend’s side. He smiles as he gently pulls Genji’s hands away from his face. “It’s okay, Genji. We’ll figure something out, alright? I already told you I’d help as much as I could.”

Comfort is slow to show on Genji’s face, hidden under layers of hesitation. “I know you said you’d help me, but it’s just not fair to _you_ ,” he argues, but Jesse shakes his head.

“Without your help, I’d have never been able to get through high school,” he says, placing his hands on Genji’s shoulders and squeezing gently. “I’ve told you millions times before about all the shit that went down with Gabe and my Dad, and all that custody nonsense, and how that all _really_ fucked me up. You kept me afloat all those years that was happening.” Genji looks uncomfortable at the statements, because he knows how Jesse hates talking about all the issues from his teenage years. The concern feels nice so Jesse just smiles and pulls away. “Now if the only way I can repay all that is by pretending to date you for a while, so be it. I’ll accept the challenge with my head held high.”

Genji blinks at him for a moment before the corner of his mouth twitches into a little, half-hearted smirk. “You sure you aren’t just excited to have something else to keep you busy so Gabriel and Ana can stop nagging you for a boyfriend?” The sass was just more evidence to the relief filling his features, so Jesse rolls his eyes and cuffs Genji gently on the shoulder before turning away to sit down at the kitchen table.

“If I can get them off my back the same time you can get your old man off yours, that’s be a good enough payoff for me,” he says, plopping down in a chair and reaching for the plastic bag that Genji dropped on the table when curiosity gets the best of him. His friend laughs and is about to say something else, but the whistle of the kettle snaps him into action to pull it off and pour some of the boiling water into his mug.

Jesse digs through the bag just to find a shitty notebook and a bag of gummy root beer bottles. He grabs the candy and holds it up in Genji’s direction, who just grins when he sees them. “Yes, those are for you,” he says, winking, and that’s all Jesse needs to know before he’s ripping open the package and is stuffing one into his mouth.

Genji grabs his mug carefully by the handle and sits in the seat across from him, looking amused. “Y’know, you should probably be eating something more substantial for breakfast even though it's--” he pauses to pull out his phone and check the time “-- nearly eleven. Pretty much lunch by now.”

Jesse raises an eyebrow, but he finishes chewing his candy before he speaks. “It ain’t lunch ‘till noon. And what did _you_ eat for breakfast this morning, exactly?”

Genji opens his mouth before he shuts it tight and flushes a little. “Nothing yet.”

It’s Jesse’s turn to wink. “I’m doing better than you then, aren’t I, sweetpea?”

With a roll of his eyes, Genji stands to grab a pen he spies on the counter while Jesse laughs before returning to his seat and flipping open the notebook to reveal it’s actually a planner. He scribbles a few things in kanji on the front page before he opens to the current week and circles the date for Thursday. “So this is the date of the dinner. What are we going to do about this? We have exactly three days, including today, to pull something together.”

Jesse grabs a few of the root beer candies out of the bag before rolling it up and tossing them towards the counter top so he isn’t tempted to eat all of them. He chews on one while he thinks, Genji staring hard into the paper like it’ll give him the answer itself. Finally, Jesse speaks up. “Well, there’s really only one thing we can do, right?” He waits for an answer, but all Genji does when he looks up is give him a look that shows he doesn’t understand. Jesse clears his throat before he continues. “You just bring me to the dinner as your date.”

Genji’s eyebrows raise in surprise before they almost immediately furrow. “You work Thursday evening.”

Jesse shrugs. “I can call off. I’ve done plenty of overtime in the past week to be able to take a night for myself -- plus, it’ll be a Thursday. We’re slow Thursday nights, so they shouldn’t need me anyway.”

“There’s got to be a better solution than you skipping work for my sake,” Genji retorts, shaking his head as he looks back down at the planner. His fingers catch the handle of his mug and he pulls it close to himself, blowing away at the steam.

“Got a better idea, sweetheart?” Jesse asks stubbornly, returning the glare Genji shoots him with a cool stare. “Look, if this were any other event, you’d be _begging_ me to take off. You’d tell be about how I’ve been working too hard and how I need a break.”

Genji is slow to respond again, thinking things over in his head before he looks up through his eyelashes. “Are you sure that’s okay with you?”

Jesse sighs loudly, Genji’s insistence on the subject striking the metaphorical nerves that are exposed due to his exhaustion. “ _Genji._ ”

“Alright, alright! So you’ll take off Thursday and come to this dinner as my date. Okay.” Genji tries to take a sip of his tea and cringes away when he finds it’s still too hot to drink, so he puts his mug back down on the table and scribbles away at the planner. Jesse peeks at his coffee maker and sees there’s enough for a cup, so he pulls himself to his feet and grabs a clean mug from the dish rack next to his sink before filling it up.

“So,” he says to fill the silence that’s appeared as Genji writes and Jesse pulls the coffee pot away from the machine to fill up his mug. “We need to get our stories straight if I’m gonna be showing up at your house and saying I’m your new boyfriend, right?”

“Mm-hmm.” Genji drops the pen and rubs at his eyes. “Dumb things they always ask new couples like how long we’ve been dating and when we decided to make it serious. Since Father already knows who you are it’ll be a little easier, but still.” He scowls. “Hopefully if Hanzo doesn’t buy it, he won’t be a snake and try to get us to slip up.”

Jesse frowns and returns to his seat. “Now hold on a second, darlin’. Hanzo wouldn’t do that to you,” he says softly, and Genji glares at him again and the intensity makes Jesse snap his mouth shut.

“Considering he’s been a complete dick to me for months now about my 'inheritance' and 'the family name' and all that bullshit, I have no idea what he’ll do,” he snorts bitterly, lolling his head back to stare at the ceiling. “He could figure us out right away and convince Father to turn you away at the door if he wanted to, I’m sure.”

“That’s not true,” Jesse retorts. “Your brother cares about you, Genji. I know he does.” He’s not talking out his ass either -- even though Genji’s been his best friend through thick and thin, Hanzo’s been a friend too. While Genji and Jesse were good at getting in trouble, Hanzo was good at getting them _out_ : a third wheel that was the one to usually pull the brakes on escalating situations that the Jesse nowadays was glad to have, even if he was less appreciative back then. Even though the older Shimada brother acted like he had a stick up his ass, Jesse can’t possibly imagine a world where Hanzo hated his brother.

Genji exhales through his nose and doesn’t bother to look at Jesse when he talks. It’s obvious that he doesn’t believe a word. “It doesn’t feel like it anymore.” He takes the pen again and rolls it through his fingers. “If I’m being honest, it really sucks and I hate it. I miss being able to talk to him without him bringing up what I’m doing with my life, but--” He shakes his head and sits back up as he forces a smile on his face. “This isn’t about that, this is about us.”

Jesse pulls his lips to the side, but decides to drop it. He’s sure Genji is sick of him pushing personal issues to the forefront of their conversations today, so he clears his throat as he pulls his mug to his lips. “Yeah, us and our phony relationship. I think it’s obvious that you started this whole thing, since you’re so charismatic and everything.”

Sure enough, the complement lands and Genji lights up in a smile. “Aw, I would have bet you fell in love with me in high school and just kept it to yourself with everything going on, and it was only recently you came forward to tell me about it.” The lies come easily off Genji’s tongue almost like he rehearsed them, and he laces his fingers together as he leans forward. “You came forward one day, turned that Southern charm up to eleven, and told me you’ve loved me for years, and I was so flattered I said let’s try this out. Boom: relationship made. Easy peasy.”

The story sounds so convincing Jesse has to take a moment and remind himself that none of it is real, a strange feeling in his chest. He raises an eyebrow. “You sure that ain’t just a fantasy of yours, sweetheart? Either that, or you’ve been planning this for a while.”

Genji rolls his eyes, smile turning wry as he shrugs. “Look, I’ve seen a lot of romance anime because of Angela, and that leaves me with a lot of plot lines to choose from. The friends-turned-lovers trope just works better for us than any of the others.”

“Uh-huh,” Jesse says thoughtfully, dropping his chin into his palm. “Then what’s stopping you from changing the story to reverse that situation? Genji Shimada falls for some silly cowboy who just happens to be his best friend, but he’s too scared of the heartbreak to say anything. So he sleeps around for years instead, but finally he realizes how that can’t fill that part of him so he confesses in a drunken rush and good ol’ Jesse decides to give it a try.”

Genji looks stunned. “That’s actually pretty good too, holy _shit_. There’s no way you made that up on your own, so spill. Tell me where you got that.”

“Gabriel has had his share of breakups over the years,” Jesse explains, his grin turning wicked. He shrugs. “Plus, Reinhardt is a sucker for cheesy Hallmark movies and he used to babysit me ‘n’ Sombra a lot when we were younger, so I’ve seen my own share of plot lines driven by romance.”

Genji laughs while he reaches for his tea again, which seems cool enough to drink now. “I don’t know, I kinda like my story better, but I guess we can mix it together? That way it seems like we’re both ridiculous idiots who fell in love with each other. It’s not too far fetched either, I guess. I mean, friends who figure out they actually like each other romantically isn’t too out of the ordinary.”

Jesse gets up to refill his coffee mug, feeling a little more alert thanks to the caffeine in his body. “If I had a dollar for every time someone has said they married their best friend…”

“I know, right?” Genji snickers, taking the pen just to spin in between his fingers again. “I mean, it’s a good thing to look for I guess, but I couldn’t _possibly_ imagine marrying you.” He pauses for a second and makes sure to give Jesse an apologetic look. “No offense.”

With a snort, Jesse just rolls his eyes. “None taken, I feel the same way. You’re too much of a handful to be marrying, much less just dating. God bless whichever good soul you set your sights on -- they better have the patience of a mule.”

“Or just the stubbornness you seem to have,” Genji says, flashing a smile with his teeth, and Jesse returns the smile with his eyes narrowed.

“Alright, darlin’, what else do we gotta go over? Before I kick you out.”

Genji snaps the planner closed and tucks the pen behind his ear before taking another gulp of tea. He makes a face at how bitter it is, and quickly stands to get some sugar out of the bowl on the counter near the coffee maker. “Thursday aside, we have to set up some ground rules for this thing,” Genji says distractedly, throwing open drawers for a spoon before returning to his seat. “Like, how much PDA we can do before it gets uncomfortable for you or whatever.”

Jesse raises an eyebrow. “What about you?”

The green haired man throws a spoonful of sugar into his tea and stirs, but runs a hand through his hair while he winks. It’s an attempt to appear more charming; but to Jesse, it just makes him look like a prick. “I’m a professional, baby: I’m fine with everything.”

Jesse stares at his coffee mug for a few seconds as that sinks in, and then hes suddenly reminded of the end of their lunch from the other day. He feels the heat rise to his face. “That means kissing, doesn’t it.”

His tone of voice nearly makes Genji laugh, but he holds it back just in time so it’s not a full fledged guffaw. He still looks incredibly amused when he replies. “If you’re going to convince people that you’re my boyfriend; _yes_ , you’re going to have to kiss me in public.” He grins. “You can still tell me how much is too much. So like, kisses on the cheek? That’s fine. Kisses with _tongue,_ however--”

“Oh my God,” Jesse mumbles, covering his face with his hands, and Genji can’t hold back his laughter this time. The urge to defend himself resurfaces from where it was hiding ever since their lunch date and he groans. “Look, I haven’t kissed a lot of people before, alright? I ain’t got a lot of experience with this sort of thing.”

“Good thing you’ll be getting lessons from me then,” Genji cackles, and Jesse kicks him under the table when he starts laughing again. “I’m saving your future relationships, okay? This is incredibly important kissing advice I’m going to be giving out!”

“Does that include a lesson on giving head since that’s the only other thing your mouth does, or--” he cuts himself off with a curse when Genji swiftly returns the kick at the remark, and he just barely saves himself from dumping his scalding coffee all over his lap when Genji nicks the table along with his leg. “Careful there, Casanova.”

“You deserved that one,” Genji retorts, but retrieves the pen from behind his ear and reopens the planner to a blank page for notes, humming for a long moment before starting to scribble. “I’ll put you down as a _‘maybe’_ for tongue.”

Jesse snickers before he can stop himself, and Genji’s grinning with him, and his earlier embarrassment starts to fade. This was just _Genji_ after all -- and whether or not he was kissing him to fool everyone else there was something more between the two of them, they were still going to be friends. Sure, making a believable romantic relationship was new territory, but he wasn’t going into this alone. Genji wouldn’t leave him to flounder, no matter how hilarious that might seem to him -- even if his social life was on the line.

Confident they were going to pull this off, he clears his throat.

“Genji.” The Shimada looks up curiously from his writing, and Jesse scratches at his beard. “So what’s the dress code for this dinner party gonna be?”

 

 

 

He’s furiously digging through his closet to find the right thing to wear and he feels like an absolute _tool_ since he already told Jesse what to wear and he can’t decide on what he’s going to wear himself. Genji groans when he can’t find the _one_ he’s looking for in the mess of dress shirts he has hanging up, and throws shirts over his shoulders so they land on his bed. His heart is thrumming in his chest and he pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time and see if there was any news from Jesse.

He licks his lips nervously when there’s nothing from his friend, so he shoots him a text.

 

**Genji** : _wyd_

 

Pausing, he realizes the connotation of his words and shakes his head as he curses himself. The last thing he needs right now is to start a flirting contest with his best friend when he has other things to worry about. He deletes the message and tries again.

 

**Genji** : _where are you???_

 

Perfect. Not at all desperate and totally chill, just how he was feeling right now. Genji doesn’t even wait for a text back and turns his ringtone volume the whole way up before tossing it onto his vanity. He turns back to his bedspread and the pile of shirts he has laid out on it, starting to stress about appearing too formal or not formal enough. He usually bases how he dresses on whatever Hanzo’s wearing and then turning it down the stuffiness factor from an eleven to about a nine, but he hasn’t seen him yet today. Genji didn’t see him when he had to head into Zenyatta’s flower shop this morning for work, and he wasn’t around when Genji got home either.

Genji pulls the brakes on _that_ train of thought before he starts thinking too hard about the implications behind them _(Was Hanzo avoiding him?)_ and lets out a heavy sigh before he runs a hand through his hair again. The strained relationship with his brother was just another thing he didn’t need to stress out about when there were other, more pressing matters to worry about.

He needed to lie to his entire family about being in a romance with his best friend. Should he fail, his social life was over and he’d have to marry one of the many eligible suitors his father hand-picked, and Hanzo would probably ridicule him for the rest of his miserable life.

He didn’t need anymore of that on top of everything else.

Genji squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath in, then out. Counts to ten. Tries to get his heartbeat to slow. He’s mad that he’s so nervous about this -- it’s not like he was going into this by himself. Jesse’s going to help him through this: they planned this _together_. After a moment of reassuring himself, he reaches for a green button down and some slacks.

There’s a knock on his door while he’s pulling his shirt across his shoulders, distinct and quiet, and Genji nearly bites his tongue when he says, “It’s open” and Hanzo is the one who steps in. His hair is pulled back neatly and he’s not wearing his bridge piercing, his mouth turned down into that irreplaceable frown.  Genji meets his eyes for a moment before he returns to buttoning his shirt. “What do you want, Hanzo?”

“Most of the guests have arrived, what are you still doing up here?” Hanzo asks, his usually even tone hanging on annoyed. Genji chews his bottom lip and leaves the top two buttons of his shirt open, not meeting his brother’s eyes and instead checking himself over in his floor length mirror.

“I’m getting dressed, what does it look like?” he mutters, and he catches Hanzo open his mouth to snap a reply before, miraculously, he stops and heaves out a long breath before he looks away. Genji thanks whatever god was looking down on him to spare him from Hanzo’s complaints for once, and makes sure his face looks alright before going back to his bed and retrieving one of the jackets splayed across the bedspread.

“I know it usually takes you awhile to make yourself presentable, but you’re never _this_ late.” Hanzo folds his arms over his chest and regards Genji’s pile of dress shirts and pants with a sour expression. “It’s important you don’t miss tonight.”

Genji whips his head around to face his brother and can’t help from snapping, “What, I can’t be late to meeting the person I’m gonna be forced to marry? Is that why it’s important?”

Discomfort arises on Hanzo’s features, but he tries to hide it by looking at the floor. “That’s not what this is at all,” he says, almost sounding like he’s trying to convince himself of the lie, and that just makes Genji even angrier.

“Don’t lie to me,” he spits, turning his whole body to face his brother. “You’re supposed to be on _my_ side in all of this! It’s not fair that I can’t just meet someone in my own time and spend my life the way I want, the family is going to try and change me by doing what they want!”

Hanzo’s features turn cold, his crossed arms pulling tighter across his chest. “You’re an adult now, Genji: you need to start acting like one. If this is what gets you to start acting responsible, then so be it.” He looks away again. “And you aren’t going to have to _marry_ any of these people if it doesn’t work out. Think of it as a speed-dating session.”

Genji groans and returns to his vanity. “You’re fucking ridiculous if you believe that.”

“And you’re a fool for thinking you can get out of this by wasting you time up in your room, claiming you’re still getting ready,” Hanzo retorts icily. “If you aren’t downstairs in five minutes, Father is--”

A honky-tonk rendition of Cotton Eye Joe cuts off whatever Hanzo was going to say next, and Genji freezes when he realizes it’s his phone. Jesse’s calling him. He dives for his phone before Hanzo can interject and swipes across his screen to answer it, pulling it up to his ear and answering with a breathless, “Hello?”

_“Genji? You sound strained, are you alright?”_

Genji nods and swallows thickly. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. How’s, uh, everything on your end?” He can feel Hanzo’s probing gaze on his back, so he keeps things vague while he shuts his eyes. The anxiety that’s been edging him all day is finally showing up and the fact Hanzo’s here while’s he’s starting to unravel is really bugging him.

_“Uh, fine, I guess? I’m on my way now. Sorry for the hold-up, Fareeha had a self proclaimed ‘gay crisis’ and called me for help.”_ Jesse laughs on the other end momentarily before his voice turns gentle. _“You sure you’re okay?”_

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s great now you’re on your way,” Genji says before he thinks, and then he winces when Hanzo’s curious gaze turns _outraged_. “I mean, _shit_. Yeah. Great.”

Jesse’s voice still sounds unconvinced, but he doesn’t probe any further. _“Alright, if you say so, sweetheart. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Hang tight, and don’t let your brother bother you, okay? See you then.”_

Genji nods even though he knows Jesse can’t see it, laughing a little. “Okay, I’ll see you. Bye.” When he hangs up, he takes a deep breath before Hanzo can start interrogating him and he raises a hand. “Before you say anything, I want you to trust me.”

Hanzo splutters. “ _Trust_ you?” He sounds absolutely furious. “You have someone coming over when Father has you expecting guests _he_ invited? What is wrong with you?!”

Genji turns around and folds his hands together in a pleading gesture. “You know how unfair this is for me! Please, it’s just Jesse who’s coming over, it’s not like it’s someone Father doesn’t know -- please don’t say anything--”

“Jesse? Jesse McCree?” Hanzo stops his tirade to look confused before his eyes narrow. Uh oh. “What are you two planning?”

Genji swallows. “Nothing.” It’s a terrible lie and he knows it, and Hanzo doesn’t look convinced at all. The last thing he needs is for his brother to go to their Father and tell him what’s going on, so he tries to explain without revealing too much. “We’re not going to do anything to ruin tonight, I swear on my life. He’s coming for moral support.”

“Moral support,” Hanzo repeats monotonously, raising an eyebrow. Genji nods miserably and bows at the waist, folding his hands in front of him.

“ _Please_ don’t tell Father. I didn’t think that I could get through this alone, so I asked him to come and be my moral support to get through this evening.” Genji feels like he’s going to throw up, his voice thick. “We’re not going to do anything. I promise.”

Hanzo’s stance doesn’t change before he lets out a quiet sigh. “If you needed someone for moral support, you should have just asked me,” he says quietly, and Genji forces himself not to snort in disbelief. He doesn’t want to ruin anything when his and Jesse’s chances of succeeding are hanging by a single thread held up by his brother. Hanzo grumbles to himself for a moment before he addresses Genji again. “But I won’t tell Father. Just don’t so something like this again. And stop bowing at me. You owe me now.”

Genji snaps back up and gives his brother a big grin. _“Thank you so much, Brother,”_ he says in Japanese, but Hanzo just waves him off.

“Just be downstairs before McCree gets here. I’m not letting him in if I answer the door and he’s on the other side,” he replies, and he shuts the door behind him with a click. Genji lets out a sigh of relief when he’s gone and shoots Jesse another text.

 

**Genji** : _hanzo knows ur coming so just… be prepared_

 

**Genji** _: i apologize in advance_

 

He slides his phone into his pocket and looks back in the mirror before he gets ready to leave the comfort of his room. Genji takes a breath in, counting out as he exhales so try and calm the rest of the nerves that haven’t been soothed by Hanzo’s promise not to say anything and Jesse’s phone call, and when he feels confident enough he puts on a smile and leaves his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find me at my tumblr [here!](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Father!” Genji blurts, grabbing Jesse’s hand tightly and completely forgetting the speech he had planned out when he meets his father’s gaze. “This is my boyfriend: Jesse McCree!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy yall u ready for chapter 3? im uploading this then heading back to the holiday event for hanzos new skin even tho his face looks... not ideal lmao
> 
> thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos!! sorry for not thanking u all individually, im not great at communicating or properly expressing my thanks so please know i appreciate every single one, even if i dont respond to it directly <3
> 
> without further ado, please enjoy chapter 3!!

The hallway is quiet, not even their cat Mozu in sight, but the bustle from the first floor is audible in a soft murmur. There had to be at least ten people downstairs; Genji cringes inwardly. _All here to meet him, only to be shut down when Jesse gets here and is introduced as his boyfriend._ He tramples the thought -- that was better than having to marry one of them. They’ll get over it. He’s a professional heart breaker, this shouldn’t matter to him.

He steels himself as he reaches the steps to go downstairs, and all eyes are on him when he steps foot on the floor. He usually loves the attention, now it's just making him feel uncomfortable. His father, looking surprisingly well considering his health, is standing among them with Hanzo at his side, and he lights up when he finally sees his youngest son join the dinner party. Genji crosses the room to give him a hug.

“There you are,” Sojiro says warmly, patting Genji’s back before holding him at arm’s length. Thankfully, he's in a good mood -- rather than angry over Genji's lateness, he appears amused. Instant relief washes over him and and he returns the look with an embarrassed smile. His father raises an eyebrow. “I was almost afraid you had climbed out your window and abandoned us.”

His father knows him well. If he hadn't already planned everything with Jesse, his thinks he could have taken his exit out his window. Genji laughs, aware of everyone’s eyes on him as he speaks. “I wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone. I accidentally fell asleep after work and was a little late in getting ready.” Another lie; he’s been wired all day like he drank a whole pot of cold brew, but what his father doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Hanzo doesn’t say anything and plays the part, rolling his eyes as he swirls his glass of champagne, and Genji hopes he can radiate enough gratitude to roll his way.

Sojiro shakes his head, putting an arm over Genji’s shoulders as one of the servers drops by and gives them both glasses of their own. “That doesn’t matter now that you’re here. The last of the guests arrived when you were finishing up, so now you can start to meet everyone. Dinner will be ready in about an hour, so until then we’re just mingling.”

_“Fantastic!”_ Genji forces out in his mother tongue, putting on a smile. “Lead the way, _Otōsan._ ”

The next fifteen minutes go by _so_ agonizingly slow that Genji starts to believe Hanzo actually murdered him upstairs when he found out he had invited Jesse and _this_ was his own version of hell, forced to meet people he was supposed to pretend to be interested in over and over for the rest of eternity. He can’t even take a moment to check his phone to see what was holding Jesse up, because every time he reaches for it Hanzo shoots him a glare and their father seems to pull Genji back into the conversation.

By minute twenty, Genji is introduced to another heiress who isn’t his type and he’s nearly vibrating out of his skin and checking at the door every few seconds, and he can tell his father and Hanzo are starting to worry about him.

That’s when the doorbell rings.

“I’ll get it!” Genji chokes out, voice nearly cracking, and then he speeds off towards the front door before his father can object. He feels like he could rip the door right off it’s hinges if he wrenches it back hard enough, and when he open it Jesse is on the other side looking incredibly apologetic. He’s a little flushed too -- he must have been running, but where from Genji doesn't spare a second to think about it.

“I’m so sorry,” Jesse pants. “My truck stalled out on the way here and--.”

Genji shakes his head and snatches Jesse’s hand to pull him inside. “Save it, you’re finally here and that’s what matters,” he hisses out in a whisper. “We’re gonna be eating in like a half an hour, so we gotta draw this out till then.”

“Oh thank the Lord-- I thought y’all were already eating,” Jesse whispers back, hand reaching up to remove his hat. Genji takes it from him and hangs it behind him before he goes about straightening up Jesse’s clothes since they were mussed up in his run. Jesse whistles quietly. “You look nice.”

“I always look nice,” Genji grins up at him, and Jesse returns it with one of his own, seemingly relieved that Genji wasn’t upset at him.

“Genji, what the hell are you doing out here?” his father’s voice suddenly calls from the living room, and when he steps into the hallway he halts in place. Genji sees Hanzo peek over their father’s shoulder and he swallows thickly when Jesse stiffens beside him. Sojiro looks between them for a moment, confusion evident on his face. “What is--”

“Father!” Genji blurts, grabbing Jesse’s hand tightly and completely forgetting the speech he had planned out when he meets his father’s gaze. “This is my boyfriend: Jesse McCree!”

There's silence. It’s _bone_ crushing, both his father and Hanzo looking absolutely dumbstruck by the news. Every second that goes by without a word, Sojiro and Hanzo glancing between the two of them, Genji squeezes Jesse’s hand a little tighter and Jesse squeezes back.

It’s only a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity. Hanzo recovers first, but instead of being convinced, the gears in his head begin to turn. Genji panics.

_“I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner,”_ Genji says in Japanese, knowing it’s unfair to Jesse to leave him out of the conversation but he needs to say it. He directs most of it at his father and starts praying to every single god he knows that Hanzo will keep his mouth shut. _“I know how much work you put into tonight, but... I can’t keep this a secret anymore.”_ He exchanges a glance with Jesse, who looks lost but he nods anyway. He clears his throat and faces Genji’s father anxiously.

“It’s true, sir,” Jesse says, free hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck nervously. “Genji asked me to be here so we could tell you. Sorry for the surprise.”

Sojiro is still silent, seemingly lost in thought. Finally, he looks back up at his youngest and he looks… worried? Apologetic? Genji can’t place the emotion on his father’s face, and that just makes his nerves wind even tighter in his chest.

“Is that why you were so against tonight?” he asks softly, and Genji has to hold back a rush of air from escaping his lungs. Even though he knows he has to, he feels _bad_ lying to his father like this. A part of him wants to give up the game now, just try and listen to his father’s wishes and bury the hatchet before things get too complicated, but a bigger, more selfish part does not.

He nods wordlessly, and inches closer to Jesse, his hand a comforting weight that grounds him in a way he desperately needs.

His father closes his eyes and rubs tiredly at them with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Sparrow. You obviously weren’t ready to come forward about this, and I ended up forcing you.” When he looks back up to meet Genji’s eyes, he smiles as he steps forward to give Genji a hug. “Despite the… unorthodox way you came out to me about this, I’m very happy to hear this. This is wonderful news.”

Genji releases his best friend's hand to hug his father back, and even though he should be happy that his father believes their lie, for some reason he feels like _shit._ Sojiro pulls way after a moment and puts a hand out towards Jesse. “It’s nice see you again, Jesse. Genji’s always told me about how good a friend you are to him, so I can’t say I’m surprised he ended up with you.”

Jesse flushes and smiles back, albeit a little awkwardly, while he takes the hand to shake. “I’m just lucky he finally gave me a chance, sir.” It sounds a little more strained than when they practiced it, but it makes it sound a little more believable. Sojiro laughs.

“My son can be less than observant sometimes, I apologize,” he replies, and Genji flushes in embarrassment. When he goes to defend himself, however, he catches Hanzo’s glance and nearly swallows his tongue. His brother is _glaring_ at him, looking absolutely furious, and he mouths a few words at him so their father can’t hear.

_We need to talk. Now._

“ _Otōsan,_ ” Hanzo says out loud then, when Genji’s stomach is plummeting into his feet. “Can I talk with Genji for a moment? It’ll be quick. You can have a minute to talk with McCree by yourself, since I’m sure you want it.”

Jesse grabs Genji’s hand again and squeezes hard, a nonverbal scream that _he does not want that at all --_ and Genji really wishes he had a say in this, but he doesn’t. He recognizes that mischievous twinkle in his father’s eyes and can hear his answer before he even opens his mouth, so he just holds his breath and prepares for a shouting match with his brother.

“Don’t take too long,” Sojiro says cheerfully, before shooting Genji a stern look. “I want you to apologize to the rest of the guests for acting so strangely tonight before we eat, and also explain. That means introducing your friend.” He turns back to Jesse, and Genji swears he sees him gulp. “Now, how about we have a chat while my sons are busy?”

“Don’t intimidate him, please,” Genji interjects briskly, forcing a lighthearted smile. “I don’t want him turning tail and running before dessert, alright?” He reaches up to peck Jesse on the cheek and he lets go of his hand, making sure his smile is as apologetic as he can be without his father catching on. “I’ll be back.”

Jesse still flushes, but he doesn’t freak out like he did the first time Genji kissed him, so Genji counts it as a win. He returns the smile with one of his own. “I’ll be fine, sugar. I sort of figured this was coming my way anyway.”

Hanzo clears his throat impatiently and Genji only _barely_ holds himself back from rolling his eyes before following after his older brother, who’s heading for the stairs. If he was heading for the upper floor, then Genji knew things were going to get heated between the two of them. His stomach twists uncomfortably as they ascend, and Hanzo leads them into one of the parlor rooms down the hall, far enough away to make sure if they yelled, it wouldn’t be as easy to hear. Genji shuts the door behind them and Hanzo is waiting for him when he turns around, eyes blazing like coal and _thoroughly_ pissed off.

Genji bites his cheek. He really, _really_ doesn’t want to get into this with his brother right now. “Hanzo, please--”

“Cut the act, my foolish little brother, and explain. _Now._ ” Hanzo holds out a fist and begins to count. He sticks out his pointer finger. “One: there is no way you are dating Jesse McCree and it’s incredibly obvious you aren’t.” He adds his middle finger. “Two: you are lying to Father’s face about dating him for whatever reason and I want to know why.” Ring finger. His voice is growing louder with every point. “Three: you said you two weren’t planning anything, so what _is_ this to you? A game? What is _wrong_ with you?!”

“It’s not a _game_ , Hanzo,” Genji interjects before Hanzo can go on any further. He gestures to himself. “You might play dumb about tonight, but you said it yourself. This night was supposed to be like a round speed-dating -- Father showing me off to every eligible heir or heiress that’s single so I can find someone to marry, but you _know_ I’m not ready for that. I’m only twenty-three, Hanzo, and I’m happy with living my life the way I have been!”

Hanzo huffs out a sigh and looks up. “By squandering your time and money with parties and pretty young people, yes, I know. It’s _incredibly_ responsible of you.” The comment strikes the same nerve that it’s been hitting in Genji’s heart for weeks, but his brother isn’t done yet. Hanzo focuses his glare back on Genji. “But not only have you put _yourself_ into this mess, you’ve dragged McCree into it as well!”

“Jesse agreed to help me with this so I don’t end up in an arranged marriage with someone I don’t even _like_ ,” Genji snaps. “I didn’t force him to do _anything_ , I made sure he was okay with everything I asked him to do before I did it, and he still only seems to ever worried about me!”

“You are not treating him like a friend, you’re _using_ him!” Hanzo retorts sharply, and Genji nearly explodes.

“At least he actually cares about me and my feelings, unlike _you!”_

The accusation hits his brother like an arrow, striking him through the heart -- because Hanzo’s mouth snaps shut, eyes going wide as all the blood drains from his face. Seeing his brother’s expression, the feeling that he’s gone too far instantly jumps to the front of Genji’s mind. Instead of swallowing the rest of the harsh words down, he just makes sure he isn’t screaming when he continues, his throat tight and feeling like he’s going to cry.

“For _weeks_ ,” he spits, voice barely above a whisper, “all you’ve done is criticize me for _everything_ I do. You’re supposed to me my brother -- my best friend! But all you do is make me feel like shit and then blame it on the fact I don’t have any sense of responsibility; that I’m an adult and I should know better, but _I don’t care._ ” He raises his chin. “I’m _happy_ and you should be content with that, but you started listening to the rest of the clan instead of using your fucking brain and turned into an _asshole_ and I _hate it._ ”

Hanzo looks more and more upset with every word Genji says, and he scrambles to find something to say when it appears Genji’s done ranting. “Genji, I--”

“I miss having my brother around,” Genji forces through a tight throat. “I miss having my brother on my side. So please, for my sake, please don’t tell Father about this. I’m just doing this until the rest of the family gets off my back.”

There’s silence when he’s finally done emptying out his heart of all the things he’s been keeping in for weeks. Hanzo looks overwhelmed by it all, trying to sort through his own feelings from being yelled at and accused of not caring before he takes a deep breath in and out.

“Is… that really how I’ve been making you feel?” he finally says, and Genji swallows before he nods. Hanzo winces like he’s been struck, raising a hand to his face to hold his head. Genji is surprised to see his brother actually _ashamed_ for what he’s being accused of, instead of launching the defense or arguing his case. Hanzo shakes his head.

“I forget you and I are very different sometimes,” he murmurs, not meeting his brother’s eyes and hanging his head. “It’s not an excuse for how I’ve made you feel, but it’s why I did it. I’m sorry.” Brow furrowed, he finally looks back up. “Even so, I don’t agree with you about your plan with Jesse. It’s not going to make things any easier. You should really just talk to Father and tell him how you really feel about all of this. He'd understand.”

It’s like whiplash, being apologized to before being chided again, but Genji puts it to the back of his mind. This is his brother after all, thinking about consequences rather than the positives first and foremost, and no matter how much Genji will argue with him about it Hanzo won’t change. “Jesse and I have been talking about this for a week, Brother,” he justifies. “We have everything under control. We were even going to wait a little longer before we came forward about this, but tonight came up and we decided it would be better this way.”

Hanzo’s frown still deepens. “What happens if something goes wrong and it creates a rift between you two? I don’t want you to lose a friend due to carelessness.”

Cold seeps into Genji’s bones at the statement, frigid and making him have to pause and think before he answers. He can’t imagine a world where Jesse wasn’t a friend and trusted ally, no matter how hard he tried. They’ve had their disagreements over the years but they’ve always managed to make it through them. He finally shakes his head.

“I couldn’t see that happening,” he answers truthfully. “I really believe this will work.”

Before Hanzo can say anything else, there’s a knock on the door before it opens, and the person on the other side ends up being the very man they were discussing. Jesse pokes his head in awkwardly.

“Your dad wanted me to come get y’all since supper’s ready early,” he says, warily looking between the two of them like he’s expecting a fight. “Everything fine between you two?”

Genji sends his brother one last pleading look, begging him to keep things quiet and reassuring him that he has everything under control, and Hanzo just sighs.

“We’re done here,” he says, moving to stand beside his brother and placing a firm hand on Genji’s shoulder. “We cleared things up, and I just want you to know one thing.” He narrows his eyes. “Hurt my brother, and I will expose this whole thing and _end_ you.”

Genji groans. “ _Hanzo--_ ”

“You got nothin’ to worry about,” Jesse instantly replies, smiling in relief that there’s some sort of peace between them. “Genji and I’ve got this under control. We talked it all out and have a pretty good hold on the situation. He's important to me; I'd be a worse friend to just stand by when I can help.”

Hanzo still looks unconvinced, but unwilling to argue against it anymore. “Let’s just see how this night pans out before I express my approval or not. I won’t say anything about it, but it doesn’t mean I’ll like it.”

All of Genji’s anxiety pops like a balloon and he visibly relaxes, grabbing Hanzo’s hands gratefully. “Thank you so much, Brother, I cannot express how much this means to me.”

Hanzo’s gaze softens. “As much as I don’t agree, you’re right about your motives. It’s not fair that you have to deal with this situation just because the family thinks you need to be married off, especially since they haven't given me a second thought because I'm willing to work for them.” He glances at Jesse again. “And even though I don’t like this, I couldn’t see this working with anyone else. Just... try not to get into too much trouble.”

Genji grins. “Tell you what. If we do and this crashes and burns in our faces, you can tell me how you told me so. I know how much you love being right.”

And for the first time that night, Hanzo returns the smile. “You know me well. Come on, let’s not keep your audience waiting any longer,” he says before all three of them head for the stairs.

Dinner is less tense than Genji was expecting. Before they all file into the dining room to be seated, Genji introduces Jesse as his partner to all the guests and feels wave of smugness when several of the guests actually look  _jealous_ that he had stated he was taken. It doesn’t pass Jesse by, because when they’re filing into the dining room, he leans in and whispers, “You little Primadonna: you’re _enjoying_ this.”

“If people are jealous that I’m dating you just from meeting me once, I’m a better flirt than I thought,” he shoots back, just loud enough for Jesse to hear. He gives him a sly grin. “Who knows? Maybe _you’ll_ end up falling for me before the end of this.”

Jesse snickers and elbows him. “You _wish_ \-- I’d fall in love with _Hanzo_ sooner than you.”

Genji wrinkles his nose at the thought. “Jesus Christ, don't even joke about that. I am much more interesting than him.”

“Both of you should shut up and pay attention,” Hanzo hisses suddenly, appearing behind them both. “I may be keeping my mouth shut, but I’m not helping you any more than that. And keep your voices down if you’re going to be discussing your plans in front of other people, you _know_ how our family likes to eavesdrop and gossip.”

“Relax, my ridiculously paranoid older brother,” Genji soothes, sporting a lazy grin. “This is only gonna work if we’re casual about this, which I know might be hard for you--”

“Genji,” his father calls before Genji can finish his sentence, moving to sit at the head of the table and gesturing to the seat to his left. “Come sit next to me so I can talk with you more easily. I think it's wonderful that you've finally brought one of your dates home with you.”

With one last smile at Hanzo, Genji weaves his fingers through Jesse’s and pulls him towards the empty chairs. “I know, I’ve never really brought _anyone_ home to you before,” he laughs easily as he takes a seat. Jesse and his father both settle down as well, Hanzo taking the seat across from him on Sojiro’s other side. “Trust me, it’s new for me too.”

“Well, I’m very glad you finally did,” his father says. “Your brother and I have been talking; he was sure you’d never settle down. Too much of a wild child, he said.” He laughs and Genji shoots Hanzo a look, who seems to be busy avoiding his gaze to notice it. “I told him that you’ve calmed down a lot ever since you started working with that young man at the flower shop. Tekhartha… what is his name?”

“Zenyatta,” Genji supplies, and his father nods thankfully.

“Yes, the nice boy from Nepal. You’ve definitely changed since you met him. I tried to tell your brother, but he didn’t believe me.”

“Forgive me, but you’re mistaken,” Hanzo finally says after a delicate sip of wine. “It’s not that I didn’t believe you, Father, I just told you that even if he’s changed, I didn’t think he was ever going to be ready for any long-term relationships.” Hanzo smirks knowingly over his glass. “He’s still too self-absorbed.”

Genji’s jaw drops, an indignant flush rising to his face when both his father and Jesse laugh at the accusation. He glares in Jesse’s direction and his friend puts an arm around him apologetically. “Sorry, hon, but he’s kinda right,” he says.

“Not entirely,” his father defends. “He seems to have made enough space in that heart for you, so I still proved your brother wrong.”

Hanzo doesn’t break the gaze he has trained on Genji, swirling his wine around in his glass. “I suppose,” is all he offers. Their father misses any of the unspoken words hidden underneath the statement as he laughs, distracted as the plates of food start coming out of the kitchen. While the plates are set in front of them, Genji kicks Hanzo under the table, who glares back and returns the kick with one of his own.

Sojiro remains blissfully unaware and places his napkin on his lap, reaching for his fork. “Please, tell me how this came to be, I’m very curious,” he says. “I know Genji has a habit of picking up whoever he wants to, but if I’m being honest -- and please know I mean no offense when I say this -- I never would have thought he’d pick someone like you. All of Genji’s past flings have been with people more…” he pauses for a moment before he gestures to Hanzo that he doesn’t know the word he’s looking for.

“Flashy?” Hanzo attempts.

Sojiro shrugs. “I suppose that’s true. It's not the word I’m looking for, but it's good enough.” He turns back to Jesse. “You’ve very plain compared to many of the other people Genji has brought home.”

Plain? Genji wants to laugh out loud even though he knows it’d be rude, as Jesse McCree is _anything_ but plain. He exchanges a look with Jesse that reveals his friend feels the same way, and Jesse clears his throat. “Well, I’ve fancied Genji for a while,” he says before he looks back to Genji’s father with a shy smile, using the same words Genji used three days prior. “Back in high school, I had a really rough time. I was in the middle of a custody battle with my adoptive father and my birth father, so it really stressed me out and I made a lotta poor decisions, but Genji was always there for me. I had a crush the size of Texas back then.”

Genji doesn’t like how Jesse’s having to talk about the darker parts of his history again. He reaches out to press a gentle hand into Jesse’s thigh -- one that says  _you don’t have to talk about it_ without him having to say it aloud. Sojiro frowns. “I’m sorry to hear that happened. I hope everything turned out well.”

Jesse places his own hand on top of Genji’s in a reassuring touch. _It’s alright._ “It was tough on me, but things turned out alright in the end.” His smile turns fond. “Thanks to friends and family I made it through just fine.”

At this point, Genji receives his dinner plate and he realizes how hungry he is when his stomach growls, so he grabs his fork and starts to dig in while Jesse and his father continue their conversation. It’s a salmon fillet over a small portion of brown rice and mixed vegetables, and it tastes amazing.

“Family is important,” Sojiro agrees, using the side of his fork to break a piece of fish off his fillet. “It’s what kept me together when Hanzo and Genji’s mother died. There were many times I thought I'd fall into despair, but remembering I had two boys to raise helped me back on my feet.” He takes a moment to pop the piece of fish into his mouth, chew, and swallow before he continues. “So I take it _you_ were the one who initiated this relationship?”

Jesse glances at Genji as he unfolds his napkin to place on his lap. His acting is a little too stiff for Genji’s liking, but it’s making him appear more nervous than he actually is which is helping their cause tremendously. Jesse laughs. “Actually, it was your son who did all the heavy lifting. I wouldn’t have summoned the courage to do anything if it weren’t for him and his, er, _unconventional_ confession.”

That’s Genji’s cue. He shoves at Jesse while he finishes swallowing his food. “Jesse, I told you not to bring that up,” he mumbles furiously when his pallet it clear, grinning even though he can’t help it. His father’s interest is peaked, and Genji plays the embarrassed deflection card. “It’s not really that interesting, I was just out at a party and called him to pick me up--”

“He was pretty drunk at the time and needed a ride to Angela Ziegler’s place,” Jesse quickly amends. “I was leaving early from work and swung by since I worked at a bar pretty close by. When I dropping him off, he confessed to me before he fell asleep.” He shrugs it off with a chuckle. “I had no idea, I was so surprised.”

“Charming,” Hanzo says blandly, and Genji kicks at him again. Their father ignores it, clearly engrossed in the the story.

“I didn’t remember doing it at all,” Genji adds. “So when Jesse called me up later that week saying we should talk, I had no idea what he wanted to talk about. When he told me that he liked me though? It made sense. I mean, I guess I never really knew myself? Like, Drunk Genji knew, but I didn’t.”

His father laughs. “That is quite unconventional. How long ago was this?”

Both Genji and Jesse exchange looks. “Um,” Genji says, cursing himself when his mind comes up blank with a number. Of all the things they forgot to fucking go over, it had to be this. He grips his fork a little harder than he should. “How long has it been now?”

Jesse blinks and comes up with a number on the fly. “I guess it’s been about three weeks by now. It ain’t been very long by any means, but--”

“It feels like a lot longer since we’ve known each other for so long,” Genji finishes, plastering a smile on his face. His father doesn’t look at all phased; in fact, he looks elated.

“That’s how it feels to date your best friend,” he sighs, appearing lost in thought. “That’s the kind of relationship your mother and I had: we grew up together and finally one day I realized that she was the one.” He laughs, looking over his youngest son with fondness in his eyes. “I wish she could have been here with us tonight. She would have been so proud of you.”

It should make him feel good to hear. Instead, at the mention of his late mother’s pride in him, Genji instead feels intense guilt and _shame_. He looks down at his plate with a smile on his lips that feels as fragile as wet paper, his gut clenching in self-disgust and he finds he isn’t hungry anymore. He swallows thickly as he nods, poking at his food with his fork.

Jesse picks up on it right away, and looks to change the subject. “This tastes amazing, sir,” he compliments, and there are a few echoes of the same sentiment that come from the rest of the guests at the table. Most are involved in their own conversations and are too busy to notice, but there are still a few that are still paying attention to their host.

Sojiro appreciates the compliment. “You’ll have to thank the chef, he’s a wonderful cook. Usually he only cooks for my sons and me, but he said he was happy to cook for everyone tonight. Tell me though, Jesse! What are you doing these days? It’s been too long since I’ve actually seen you.”

Jesse is more than happy to take the reigns in leading the conversation for the rest of dinner, very aware of the foul mood that’s settled over Genji as he pushes his food around. Hanzo catches onto it as well but says nothing about it, just occasionally giving Genji a worried glance every so often. Jesse goes on to talk about many things, from his job, to his apartment, and how he was helping his father and sister move.

His mother’s shadow hangs over Genji as he pretends to listen. Would she approve of what he was doing right now? He hardly knew her, as she had died when he was young, but he still cared about what she would have thought. He wonders if she was disappointed in him from wherever she was at this moment. The thoughts make him down glass after glass of champagne as Jesse talks. He tunes back in as Jesse finishes up his discussion about mechanics, and catches the tail end of it when Jesse says it was the thing he really wanted to do. He’s about to ask for another glass of champagne when his father stops him.

“Slow down there, Sparrow,” he says, smiling at him but Genji can see the worry lined under his features. “That’s your fourth glass since we started dinner.”

He’s far from drunk, but the alcohol is still making him feel warm and light. “It’s a party, isn’t it?” he asks, pretending to sound cheerful. A quick look around reveals it’s nearing the end of dinner anyway; many of the other guests are finishing or done with their food and are chatting instead. He must have _really_ tuned out while Jesse was talking.

Sojiro’s smile is knowing. “That it may be, but you should still slow yourself. You’ll be sick.”

He nods and miserably places his glass back in the corner of his place mat. Genji feels Jesse press into his side and his lips at his ear. “You okay, darlin’?” he murmurs, barely loud enough to hear. “You’ve been quiet for a long while.”

“I’m okay,” he says, forcing a smile and he continues to push his food around his plate to make it look like he’s eaten more than he actually has. After he’s pleased with how it looks, he sets down his fork and knife at the edge of his plate. “The food was excellent.”

When Genji seems to be done, Sojiro notices most of the other guests are as well, so he stands and addresses them all. “Friends, I thank you for all coming here tonight to join my family and I in this meal. It was wonderful to see you all, but I must retire. You all may take your time as you leave, my eldest will be seeing you all out.”

Genji wishes he didn’t notice the tremble in his father’s legs when he talks, betraying the real reason he was going upstairs to bed so early. In the peak of his father’s health, the stuffy dinner parties he held usually went on throughout most of the night. Nowadays, he can barely make it past ten.

He stands from his chair to follow his father to stairs and give him a goodnight hug, and Genji makes sure to hold onto the embrace him for a few moments longer before pulling away. His father smiles.

“I’m very proud of you,” he says quietly, brushing some of Genji’s hair away from his face before just placing his hands on either side of Genji’s jaw. “Thank you for inviting Jesse so I could meet him.”

“Did I make the right decision?” Genji asks before he can stop himself, and he’s not really sure what compels him to ask it. His father furrows his eyebrows, smile pulling at his lips.

“What do you mean by that?” he asks. “You’re thinking about this too hard. If he wasn’t special to you, then you wouldn’t have brought him here tonight.”

Genji wishes he didn’t feel so guilty about all this, but feels he’s too far deep in the lie to back out without major repercussions by now. Still, he wants advice so he skirts around the problem. “But what if this turns out badly?” Genji continues. “All of this will be for nothing.” Sojiro is already shaking his head before he’s finished, sighing in exasperation.

“If the two of you end up apart, it’s not the end of the world. Some people just aren’t meant for each other. But.” He makes sure Genji’s looking at him, and Genji feels like his father is staring into his soul as he speaks. “Please know that no matter what happens, I’ll always be there for you and I’ll support you in anything you decide to do. Understand?”

Genji swallows. “ _Yes, Father._ ”

This father’s smile turns gentle. “Goodnight, Sparrow.”

“Goodnight.”

He watches his father step away and go upstairs before he takes a deep breath in and out before returning to the dining room. All of the other guests have left the table now that their host has gone. Hanzo has gotten up and left as well, going to wish the leaving guests a good night and a safe drive home, so Jesse is the only one still in the dining room. He’s standing behind his chair, fiddling with his button down shirt until Genji returns. 

“How’d I do?” he asks with a grin, and Genji smiles weakly.

“We pass. I think the worst is over for now; the only thing we have to worry about now is keeping up appearances.” He knows he still doesn’t sound quite right, because Jesse gives him a worried look over. “What?”

“You sure you’re alright?” he asks softly. “If I’m being annoying, just tell me. I’m just worried. You’ve been quiet as a mouse ever since your Dad brought up your Ma.”

Genji shakes his head. He _doesn’t_ want to talk about this right now. “Not now, Jesse,” he mutters quietly, leaning in to press his face into his friend’s shoulder. “I’m exhausted and I could really use a good handy right about now.”

Jesse laughs as he places a comforting hand on the back of Genji’s head to pull through his hair. “I didn’t really sign up for that. Sorry, hon.” They’re quiet for a moment before Jesse speaks again. “What about that talk between you and Hanzo? Did something happen?”

“I yelled at him,” Genji admits. “He just kept bringing up responsibility and shit and I just kinda… blew up at him.” He pauses. “But… he actually apologized to me. I think we’re okay now; that’s why he said he’d cover for us.”

Jesse chuckles. “I don’t want to say I told you so, but….”

Genji shifts his face so the right side of his head is pressed against Jesse’s chest just so he can roll his eyes. “Fine. Go ahead, see if I care. You were right in telling me my brother _loves_ me, big whoop.” He shuts his eyes, relishing the soothing feeling of fingers running across his scalp, and his mother’s shadow starts to ebb away. “Are you going to stick around for a little? We can head back up to my room for a while.”

Jesse’s hand stills. “Genji Shimada, are you trying to seduce me?” he asks lightly, and Genji snorts.

“If I was trying to seduce you, you’d already be in bed with me. I’m very persuasive.”

“Uh-huh,” Jesse hums, clearly unconvinced, but he returns to his ministrations. “I hate to leave you disappointed, but I told my boss I’d be coming in late tonight and that I’d stay ‘till morning to make up for not coming in this afternoon. I’m gonna have to leave pretty soon.”

Genji groans. “What time is it now anyway?”

“Almost ten. I’m scheduled at eleven.”

Genji pulls away, the touch-starved part of him mourning the loss of the embrace, but he puts on a smile and holds out his arm. “You better leave now, then; I don’t want you to be late since you already made sacrifices to be here. I’ll walk you to your truck.”

With a laugh and an amused smile, Jesse loops his arm around the one Genji offered to him before they stroll out of the dining room. “Such a fine, young gentleman,” he jokes. “I’m a lucky man.”

“You bet your ass you’re lucky to have me,” Genji shoots back as they pass the rest of the guests and Hanzo, who’s seeing them out. His brother is too busy to see them leave, deeply involved in a conversation with an old business partner of their father’s and his daughter. She’s obviously trying to flirt with Hanzo as he talks, but Genji knows she won’t get very far with him. He snickers to himself as he snags Jesse’s hat from the line of hooks behind the door, and the two of them step outside.

The muggy end of summer is in full effect, Genji regretting his jacket immediately as they leave the comfort of central air and enter the outdoors. “It’s disgusting out here,” he mutters, stepping closer just to place the cowboy hat on his friend’s head before pulling away so they’re not so close. Jesse laughs, readjusting his hat so it’s comfortable.

“It’s almost September, bear it for just a little longer, sweetheart,” he says. Genji sticks out his tongue, but settles for small talk while they walk the length of the block to where Jesse parked. The fact he showed up to the party a disheveled mess makes a lot of sense now, as his car is about a block and a half away.

“Fall means school for Sombra, right?” Genji asks as he avoids stepping on a chalk drawing one of the neighborhood kids, not wanting to ruin it. “Are she and Gabriel moved into their new place yet?”

Jesse shakes his head. “They’re nearly there and cutting it close. Liv’s got school starting the week after next, and they're moving into the house next Tuesday. I offered to help Gabe move everything in, but he refused.” He rolls his eyes before mimicking, “ _‘I’m not as old as you think I am, son, leave me and Jack alone to decorate our damn house.'_ ”

Genji laughs at the nearly impeccable impression of Jesse’s adoptive father, but the choice of wording doesn’t escape him. “So he’s finally moving in with Jack Morrison?”

Jesse snaps his mouth shut before he curses under his breath. “Y-Yeah,” he says, sounding embarrassed he let it slip. “The old man thinks they’re gonna both be too lonely by themselves without Olivia or Hana around, so.” He trails off for a few moments while they turn the corner. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone outside of the family just ‘cause, well, you know how it is between them. On and off and on again. This is a huge step and it worries me.”

Genji is struck with a very strange feeling when he realizes Jesse’s worries weren’t too far from how he was feeling before his father went up to bed, and he nearly laughs at how similar the two of them really are. He pats Jesse’s hand sympathetically, recalling his father’s words. “You shouldn’t worry so much. If things start to sour and they end up driving you crazy, just hit me up and we’ll go out somewhere to de-stress. Just you and me.”

“Thanks, Genji,” Jesse says, still looking somewhat unsure, but grateful nonetheless. “I want them to work through this, _Lord_ I do, but they’re so set in their ways I’m afraid it’ll just end up badly again.” He digs a hand into his pocket and pulls out his keys when he catches sight of his truck. They pull apart when they finally stop next to it.

“Want a kiss goodnight?” Genji snarks, trying to bring back a lighthearted mood to their conversation. Jesse raises an eyebrow, fighting back a smile.

“Are you _sure_ you’re not trying to seduce me, Shimada?” he asks again while he unlocks his car. While Genji cackles, he opens the driver’s side door and steps in, but before shutting it behind him he pauses. “I assume I’ll be seeing you again on Monday to plan our next public appearance, right?” Genji nods.

“If that’s alright with you. We still need to make you an Instagram and plan when you’re going to take me to see Gabriel and the rest of your family.” He grins when Jesse groans on cue, resting his head on the steering wheel in defeat. “Look, we’re playing the long con. It doesn’t have to be soon, just _sometime."_

“If I’m making an Instagram and you start taggin’ me in couple-y photos, Sombra will know, and then in turn tell Gabriel, who will in turn guilt trip me about not telling him myself. It’ll be sooner than later.” Jesse sighs. “That probably won’t be ‘till they’re all settled, but we’ll figure out all the little details on Monday. We’ll make it a weekly thing.”

“Absolutely,” Genji says brightly. Jesse pulls his door shut and starts the ignition, but before he can pull away from the curb, Genji adds, “Thank you again for coming tonight.”

Jesse gives him a radiant smile in return. “It was my pleasure, sugar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find me [here](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) for my tumblr -- till next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment or two later, thankfully after Jesse has stifled the rest of his giggles, Gabriel opens up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! i have a bit of some news, there won't be an update next week because i'll be too busy with the holidays! this week's chapter is a little longer to hopefully make up for that, but i'll be back on schedule the week after!
> 
> thank you for the continued support!! you guys are the best <3

The last two weeks of August fly by faster than Jesse can keep up with. Work keeps him busy like it always does, but besides for his bartending, he helps finish his father and sister’s move. The new house is nice, in a quiet neighborhood closer to where Ana lives these days, and big enough for the remaining pieces of Gabriel and Jack’s families to live comfortably and _then_ some. Gabriel explains everything to him as they’re taking the last few steps around the old house.

“It’s bigger so more family can visit during the holidays,” he says, trailing his fingers down the door frame where he marked Jesse and Sombra’s growth spurts while they grew up, now painted over for the incoming family to do the same if they chose to. “It’s got two spare bedrooms besides for Hana and Olivia’s, so if you ever need a place to stay, you’re more than welcome.”

“I appreciate it, Dad,” Jesse murmurs, eyes trained on the cupboard under the stairs. He’s struck with a memory from when he was first brought home when he sees it; one where he hid away all of his cowboy figures so no one could get to them. It was a habit he had picked up after living at the orphanage; one where he’d hide the toys he liked to play with so no one else could play with them. Gabriel wasn’t angry when he found them, just quietly concerned, and he had gotten Jesse his own toy chest to put in his room so he wouldn’t lose any of them.

Nostalgia washes over him and he feels his throat tighten.

“I’m gonna miss this place,” he murmurs. Gabriel puts an arm over his shoulder in a half hug.

"Me too, Jesse," he sighs, and then they walk outside to meet Sombra waiting at the truck.

Once all the moving is over and done with, Sombra gets ready to head off to college for her freshman year. She’s going to a school for programming that’s only a few hours away in a bigger city, near a train station that can take her back home any weekend she wants. The night before she’s supposed to be leaving, Jesse visits the new house to say his goodbyes before she heads out, and also to check out the new house.

It’s certainly bigger than the old one. The large dining room table that came from their old house fits much more comfortably in the new one, and the room is big enough to put the leaf in the center of the table to make it longer without making the room cramped. The kitchen is bigger too. There’s more space between the islet in the center of the kitchen and the rest of the counter top space, which Jesse knows Gabriel would have wanted to cook with. Throughout the whole house is a miss-match of colors and styles of furniture from both the Reyes and Morrison households that is so strange it somehow _works,_ but that doesn’t mean Jesse doesn’t laugh about it for a little as he passes through.

He and his sister are the only ones in the house. Jack and Hana are out doing some sort of Father/Daughter activity before she heads out to her own college later that week, and Gabriel had to head back into work for the rest of the evening.

“Stop admiring the house, _pendejo,_ and come up to help me pack,” Sombra complains from the steps, and Jesse rolls his eyes but listens as he follows her up the steps.

Her room is very bare, most of her things still packed away in boxes from the move. It doesn’t surprise him, as she only had a good four or five days to call this room her own before she moves into a dorm to live for a few months. Still, her small television monitor and Playstation are hooked up and are placed on a few boxes that make a makeshift TV stand. She kicks a few boxes out of the way so there's a pathway before throwing him a controller.

“I thought you said you needed help packing?” Jesse questions as he catches it, raising an eyebrow, and his sister just waves a purple-nailed hand.

_“¡Lo que sea!”_ she scoffs. “I really just wanna catch up with you before I leave. I have some _interesting_ intel that you’re keeping secrets from me.”

Jesse is still in her doorway, but doesn’t make a move to sit next to her. He knows exactly what she’s talking about, he’s just not ready to have this conversation with her. He doesn’t think he’d _ever_ be ready to have this conversation with her _willingly_. She laughs when she sees his conflicted expression, crossing her legs after hopping onto her bed and dropping her chin into her palm.

“I put in _Red Dead Redemption_ ,” she says tauntingly, like she doesn't know that's one of Jesse’s favorites out of all the games she actually owns. It’s the one she lets him play when she wants to know something only he knows, just to charm the secrets out of him. Her fingers drum against her cheek. “C’mon, you knew this was coming. If you don’t talk with me about this now, you can talk about it with Dad later.”

Lord _Almighty_ was Sombra an excellent manipulator. Jesse sighs in defeat and slinks over to her bed to take a seat, and she claps gleefully. He starts up the game and Sombra launches her interrogation as the game developer’s logo snap on screen to the sound of gunfire.

“A little birdie told me you made an Instagram on Monday,” she begins, grinning mischievously. Probably Hana, since she’s on all of her social media sites twenty-four-seven. Sombra gestures to herself. “And you didn’t follow _me_ , but that’s beside the point. The things I found most interesting are  _on_ your Instagram.”

“Uh-huh,” Jesse says disinterestedly, trying to focus on the intro to the game. Sombra always liked hyping things up more than she needed to, and right now he wishes she’d just get to the point. “Well, Liv, what d'ya find?”

“Some pretty _damning_ evidence you have a secret boyfriend you’ve been keeping from us,” Sombra says slyly. “And that boyfriend is none other than _Genji Shimada._ ”

Jesse’s surprised she hasn’t blabbed about it to everyone she’s met by now since he and Genji set up the account several days beforehand. Genji used his skills with a camera to take a bunch of pictures of them around town and various places they had fake dates, bringing along different clothes for them to change into so they all appeared to be from different days. It was a lot of work that, personally, Jesse thought was stupid and unnecessary, but he still had fun doing it. As the final step, Genji made up a story about keeping things quiet to his thousands of followers and flooded his feed with all the photos by the end of the day.

On the TV screen, the game protagonist John Marston steps off the steamboat and begins his walk into town. Jesse takes a deep breath. “Yeah, and?”

Sombra seems absolutely baffled he’s so calm about this. “ _And? Jesse_ _,_ are you _listening_ to me? I wanna know why you’ve been keeping this a secret for so long!”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Jesse argues halfheartedly as he watches the opening cutscene to the game. Sombra snorts.

“For someone who has seriously dated exactly _zero_ people before now, three weeks is a long time,” she corrects. Jesse finally breaks his gaze away from the television to give his sister an incredulous look.

“Says someone who’s dated exactly zero people ever.”

The insulting remark misses its target completely, Sombra appearing unphased as she purses her lips. “We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you,” she points out, and Jesse sighs. “How come you haven’t told Dad yet? You know he’s been thinking about when you’d start putting yourself out there, he’d be super happy to know what’s going on with you.”

“It really hasn’t been a priority of mine,” Jesse grumbles, realizing by now he’s not going to get far with the game. Sombra’s known for digging deep in her questioning, and if he wants to keep everyone in town from finding out he and Genji are faking their relationship, he’s going to need to be fully focused on answering his sister. He just hands her the controller and she takes over right away. “It also hasn’t really been a priority of _his_ either with all y’all’ve been busy with; moving in and getting ready to take you off to school and all that.”

Sombra skips through the rest of the cutscenes that start the game so she can start playing. “You know that’d be a welcome change of pace for him, dummy,” she laughs. “From the looks of those posts, you two seem pretty serious.”

Jesse’s glad the posts are convincing: that was the whole point of them in the first place. Genji certainly knew his way around a camera and every shot looked straight out of a catalog, taken well enough there was barely any editing that needed to be done. He lays across the bed so his back is flat against the sheets, shrugging.

“I like being around him,” he says, and he doesn’t even need to recite anything Genji and he have gone over. He’s telling the truth. “He’s important to me.”

Sombra cackles gleefully. “ _Dios_ , I’d hope so. So come one, give me all the juicy details.”

“Of what?” Jesse retorts, and Sombra sweeps the long part of her curly purple-dyed hair over her shoulder while she raises an eyebrow at him.

“ _Everything_. How you two decided to hook up, who kissed who first, whether or not you’ve slept together,” she states blandly, and Jesse cringes while he covers his face with his hands.

“Pardon my French, but _fuck_ no. I ain’t givin’ you details of my personal life that you can gossip about.”

Sombra whines, flopping across his middle, game forgotten. “This is the best news you’ve brought home since _forever_ ,” she complains. When Jesse doesn’t offer a word, she crosses her arms. “I’m not getting off of you until you tell me.”

“Then enjoy sitting in silence, Sis,” he retorts. “I have the rare night off, so I can sit here forever.”

“And then when Dad gets home, I can explain why I’m trapping you here,” Sombra snarks right back, sticking out her tongue, and that’s when Jesse is struck with the thought he’s thankful he has his own place nowadays so he doesn’t have to put up with this daily anymore. Even though he saw his family less frequently, he was glad he missed most of her teenage years and only heard about it through the phone from Gabe.

“We haven’t slept together,” Jesse grumbles, flushing pink. “We’re… we’re working up to that.”

Sombra gasps as the news. “You’ve been dating _the_ Genji Shimada for three whole weeks and you haven’t slept with him yet? That’s impressive knowing his reputation.”

“I’m not just a piece of ass,” he snaps back. God, he wishes he were anywhere else in the world right now than having this conversation with his baby sister. He could shove her off him if he wanted to, since Sombra was about a hundred pounds soaking wet, but he really doesn’t want her to chase him down since he’s in an unfamiliar house and doesn’t know the layout. He instead just stares at the bare ceiling of her new room and frowns. “Besides, Genji isn’t all his reputation says he is. He’s better than that.”

Sombra starts snickering. “You must be _disgustingly_ head over heels for him if you’re defending his lengthy list of one night stands.”

Jesse just rolls his eyes before squeezing them shut. If that’s how he sounds, then so be it. That’s how it should be anyway if he and Genji are going to keep this up for as long as Genji says they’re going to have to. “He’s not just my boyfriend, he’s my best friend. I’ll defend his honor with my dying breath.”

“ _Dios de madre_ ,” Sombra says, rolling onto her back and throwing her arms into the air. “You’re one of those ‘my wife is my best friend’ kind of people now, holy shit. This is _hilarious_.”

“Ha ha,” Jesse mutters sarcastically. “I’m so glad my love life can make you laugh.”

“It’s not just that,” Sombra instantly corrects, sounding exasperated. “I’m happy for you, Bro, I just like messing with you. I mean it. See?” She points to her face. “This is my serious face. I only use it when I’m telling the truth.”

Jesse just stares at her. “No, Liv, that’s your normal face. The one I’ve seen you use when you’ve swore to Gabe you weren’t the one who ate all the brownies when you were, and he believed you so _I_ was the one who got in trouble.”

Sombra narrows her eyes, pulling herself up from laying across Jesse’s stomach and crossing her legs. “No, this is my serious face, _pendejo_ ,” she says, pulling her hair over her shoulder again. A wicked grin grows on her face. “I’m happy that you and your best friend are dating and I’m _very_ excited to see what happens when you tell Dad about it.”

Jesse groans. “Now that one I believe.”

“Good. Because it’s extremely true,” Sombra replies, raising her chin proudly.

He forces himself to sit up so he can look his sister in the eyes. “Let me tell him, alright? I already have a plan to do it, just -- be cool and don’t say anything. I know this is the scoop of the century to you, but it’s really important to me that I tell him.”

If he's being honest with himself, it's not that big of a deal if she told him first, but he’d feel immensely better about it if he was the one who did it. Sombra has the habit of making things bigger than they really were (or needed to be), and he just wants to have a nice, simple dinner with his father and his fake boyfriend while they come out. When Sombra says nothing and instead gets a thoughtful look on her face, Jesse throws his hands on her shoulders and hangs his head.

“ _Por favor_ , Liv,” he practically begs, and his sister sighs.

“Fine,” she says. She holds up a finger. “On one condition: we go out to the mall for ice-cream right now and you don’t tell Dad about it when he gets home.”

Jesse wastes no time to answer. “Done. And if I find out you told him anyway, I ain’t getting you a birthday present this year.”

“Done,” Sombra grins, and Jesse sighs as he stands up from the bed and reaches into his pocket for his car keys.

 

 

 

It’s a week later before he’s pulling back into the driveway of his father’s new house, Genji in the passenger’s seat. It’s a Monday evening around five o’clock, and they’re going to be having dinner so Jesse can do his own family introductions. He has no idea why he’s so nervous about this, it was only going to be Gabe in the house. Jack was driving out to Hana’s university for some reason Gabriel hadn’t explained, and he hadn’t wanted to eat alone, so he invited Jesse to come over. With only his father being there for the entire visit, Jesse figured it was the perfect opportunity to rip the metaphorical band-aid off.

He swallows down some anxiety and glances over at his friend for some sort of encouragement.

Genji’s double checking his eyeliner in the visor mirror, but when he’s done he snaps the mirror shut and flips the visor back up. He grins Jesse’s way. “Ready to head in?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” Jesse admits, throat tight, and Genji rolls his eyes but places a reassuring hand on one of Jesse’s.

“It’s just more acting, Jesse,” he says simply. “It’ll be alright. This should be way easier than the dinner at my place. It’s so much more casual.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of!” Jesse replies in a rush, taking off his hat to run a hand through his hair in an attempt to soothe his nerves. “It was easy to act when I was around a bunch of people I didn’t know -- this is _Gabriel_. I’m pretty sure he could pick me out of a silent crowd with a _blindfold_ on.”

Genji nods, looking quite amused at Jesse’s emotional predicament. “Yes, and Gabriel’s your father. Are you telling me you’ve never lied to your father before?”

Jesse glares. “This is a little more complicated than lying about my report card, sugar.”

“Okay, okay -- I get it,” Genji laughs, resting his chin in his palm as he props his arm up on the dashboard. “So we’re just gonna sit here in your car forever then? Lame.” Jesse isn’t even given a moment to snap back a sarcastic comment before Genji’s speaking to him again. “Look, baby, we’re going to be going into this together. I’ll be there the _entire_ time. If you decide not to say anything tonight, that’s fine! I’ve eaten over here enough times that we can just play it off as normal.”

“It ain’t fair that you’re the only one who’s putting effort into this,” Jesse begins, but Genji is already shaking his head to disagree.

“Listen, Jesse,” he says quietly, his tone shifting from lighthearted to something much more sincere. “You never needed to help me in the first place, and I’m just grateful that you’re still doing this with me since it’s already been a few weeks of just… lying to everyone. I really expected you to back out almost immediately, so you don’t have to worry about putting in what you think is enough effort or anything. If you want to just go in and have dinner, that’s fine.”

The words are comforting. He gives Genji a weak smile. “I appreciate it, sweetheart, but I’m not gonna let you do this alone. What kind of friend would I be if I made you do all the work?”

The smile on Genji’s face turns mischievous. “A pretty okay one considering the dating portion of this isn’t really your specialty, but--”

“Okay, that’s the last time I’ll ever try to be nice to you,” Jesse interrupts in exasperation, taking his car keys from their place in the ignition and stuffing them in his jeans pocket. “C’mon, let’s get inside before Gabe starts callin’ me to ask what’s taking me so long.”

Genji is laughing when they’re getting out of the car. When they’re walking up to the door, Genji hums appreciatively at the new house. “This is a nice place. It really suits two ex-military, middle-aged dads.” He’s not wrong, but something about the way he says is makes Jesse fail to hold back a snort of laughter. He’s still snickering when he rings the doorbell.

A moment or two later, thankfully after Jesse has stifled the rest of his giggles, Gabriel opens up. He looks loose and easy-going, but as soon as he sees Genji he stops dead at the beginning of his greeting, blinking in surprise and confusion. That seed of worry that planted itself in Jesse’s gut sprouts.

“Evening, Pops!” he says, tipping his hat back and fighting against his growing nausea. Gabriel doesn’t stay stunned for long, chuckling as he lets the both of them into the house.

“I can’t say I’m not surprised to see you, Genji,” he says as he opens up his arms for an embrace. Genji smiles brightly and accepts the hug. “I haven’t seen you in a while. What’s with the sudden visit?” He’s mostly asking Jesse, looking over Genji’s shoulder as he pats his back. Despite Gabriel not looking angry about the addition to their dinner, Jesse’s ability to lie becomes lost in the void and he just shrugs.

Genji pulls away. “I haven’t seen you since Jesse’s moved out, and I heard you moved to a new place. I wanted to check in with you since you’ve always been my  _favorite_ of my friend’s parents.”

Gabriel shakes his head, expression fond even though it’s obvious he doesn’t buy the flattery for a second. “Nice try, kiddo. It’s still nice to see you.”

“He’s the _only_ one of your friend’s parents you know well,” Jesse mutters, pushing his knuckles gently into Genji’s side in a friendly punch. Genji laughs and returns the gesture with a chop in the side, and Gabriel rolls his eyes.

“Alright, that’s enough. The rules that applied when you were teenagers still apply now: no wrestling in the house. If either of you break anything of mine I’ll skin you -- and if you break anything of Jack’s I’ll _kill_ you.” He turns on his heel to move their reunion into the kitchen. “I’m making _enchiladas rojas_ to eat. It’s a good thing I made enough for leftovers, or else someone wouldn’t be eating.”

It’s a joke, as Jesse knows Gabriel always made an excess of homemade food to eat later on in the week for lunches he took to work, but Genji still glances Jesse’s way anyway before following Gabriel into the kitchen. Jesse has to suppress the urge to laugh again as he heads in after them.

The house is a lot more organized than it was since the last time Jesse was here, so the kitchen looks a lot more like a _kitchen_ now instead of a display room with a bunch of half-empty moving boxes scattered through it. There’s a set of stools set underneath the islet so guests can use them to sit at the counter, and Gabriel motions for the two of them to take their seats there while he goes about preparing the rest of dinner.

“If you want drinks, help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge,” he says, busying himself with stirring the sauce over the stove so it doesn’t burn, and shredding the chicken. It smells absolutely heavenly, Jesse’s mouth watering at the wonderful aroma that sends him right back to his childhood. Genji’s interest is peaked at the food, since he rarely if _ever_ had Gabriel’s homemade cooking when he visited back when they were teenagers.

“Tell me what’s been going on with the two of you while we wait then,” Gabriel says when Jesse’s opened the fridge to pull out two beers, and he very nearly drops the bottles in surprise at the wording. He couldn’t have possibly figured it out yet, could he? He shuts the door stiffly and returns to the stool next to his fake boyfriend, handing him a beer before taking a seat. Gabriel doesn’t seem any different, going about shredding the chicken he already has cooked. Jesse feels Genji’s wary gaze on him when he goes about to answer.

“I’ve started working part time for a good friend at a flower shop,” Genji says, and Gabriel barks out a laugh.

“Genji Shimada with a job? That’s a new one.”

He and Genji laugh a little, and the sound makes Jesse feel at ease again. “I know, I never thought I’d be here either,” Genji admits, cracking open the beer with a bottle opener that Jesse hands him. There’s a crisp pop and the clatter of the cap hitting the counter. “It’s so much better than I thought it’d be -- I like the freedom it gives me. It definitely gives me a reason not to take a job for my family.”

“They still trying to get you to inherit a job?” Gabriel asks, and a piece of Genji deflates.

“Yeah.” The Shimada bites his lip. “Especially since my father has been getting worse lately. There’s been a lot of bustle around the house because of that.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry, kid.” Gabriel turns around and folds his arms across his chest, looking concerned. “If it ever gets too tough and you need a place to crash, you’re more than welcome to stay here, just like you always have been. Alright?”

Genji smiles. “Thank you, Mr. Reyes. I appreciate it.”

Gabriel cringes before reaching for his own beer he has set near the cutting board. “Just Gabriel is fine. You’re an adult now, and hearing you call me Mr. Reyes makes me feel older than I actually am.”

Jesse finally finds a place to enter the conversation. “But you _are_ old.”

Gabriel takes the remark in stride, raising an eyebrow. “I can see that living alone hasn’t made you any less of a smart ass. I should have realized.” He puts the bottle to his lips and takes a quick swig. “I know what you're doing. You're still working at that shitty bar.”

Jesse sighs, but he still nods. “It’s not really that bad, Dad.”

“Until you stop working yourself to death covering extra shifts or start getting paid properly for the work actually you do for it, it’s a shitty bar.” Gabriel purses his lips when Jesse groans. “I’m just telling the truth, son.”

“You and Ana and Genji _all_ tell me the truth about my job like I don’t know it already,” Jesse grumbles, taking a sip of his beer. Genji cackles beside him and he jerks his elbow into his friend’s side. “Shuddup, sweetheart,” he mutters before he has time to think, and then when he realizes what he’s just said he nearly slams his head into the counter. Genji falters a little, surprised Jesse so quickly revealed the point of their visit before he grins.

There’s a few moments where Gabriel says nothing, but then he laughs quietly under his breath, returning to his cooking. “So tell me, how long has _that_ been going on?”

_How long has what been going on?_ is what Jesse wants to respond with, but he barely gets two syllables out before his father is looking over his shoulder with an eyebrow raised and an apprehensive smile, and Jesse swallows the rest of the words down his throat. “Huh,” he says, tugging his hat down to cover his rising blush at being read like a book.

“Was it that obvious?” Genji asks, laughing. It’s casual, not at all nervous, and when Gabriel has his back to them he pats Jesse’s thigh in a wordless gesture that they had succeeded in their plot. The hard part was over, and now all they had to do was keep up appearances. Smile and lie.

“No, I didn't know specifics. I just knew Jesse was acting like he had a dirty little secret, so it was the first thing that came to mind.” Gabriel snorts, reaching for a pair of elastic gloves out of a box. “If it means anything, I’m not surprised about it either.”

“Alright, what the hell d’ya mean by that?” Jesse counters indignantly, flushing hot again, and Gabriel breaks away from his cooking again to face him, leaning on the counter.

“Jesse, even though you didn’t live with me for the bulk of your middle school and high school days, you only ever talked about two things when I saw you. One: how much you hated living your father, and two: how Genji was there for you every step of the way.” Gabriel’s fighting a smile. “I could have seen this coming from a mile away.”

Jesse splutters as Genji starts laughing hysterically. It's now that he starts thinking about how it was a mistake to bring Genji with him -- especially since Gabriel takes great pleasure in embarrassing him at every available opportunity. He curses himself for thinking maybe his father could have learned to lay off since he wasn’t a kid anymore. He takes another drink of his beer to stop himself before he starts yelling victoriously about how Gabriel was actual wrong and they were faking this whole thing just to cover Genji’s ass. He grumbles, “Well, you were right all along. Yeehaw.”

Genji’s wiping his eyes, being careful not to smudge his makeup. “Oh my God, Jesse, I had no idea you cared about me that much. I’m so flattered.”

“I can’t be too proud about that since it’s not that hard to flatter you. You soak up compliments like an attention-seeking sponge,” Jesse retorts. Genji winks and makes a kissing noise. Jesse faces his father. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t reveal how large my adoration for my friends is in front of them. It’ll go to their heads.”

“Shut up, you _love_ me,” Genji scoffs into his beer. Gabriel laughs.

“It’s my job to embarrass you, kiddo. I gotta make up for the years I missed,” he says with a grin. He jerks his head toward a cabinet as he pulls on his gloves with a snap. “C’mon, Jesse, how about you help me by getting plates so I can throw these together and we can eat. You can tell me all about your eventful love life when we sit down.”

“Let me help,” Genji says, standing as Jesse does the same while he grumbles under his breath. “It’s the least I can do for coming to your dinner uninvited tonight.”

Gabriel shrugs, showing he doesn’t care who gets the plates. “Just put them on the kitchen table instead of the dining room table -- Jack and I are going to be painting in there so it’s a mess right now. Forks and knives are in the drawer directly underneath. Jess, instead of sitting around and watching, you can help me with the enchiladas. Grab a pair of gloves out of the container and come here to start dipping the tortillas.”

With a nod, Jesse finishes off his first beer and tosses the bottle in the recycling as Genji goes to work with setting the table. Crossing the room to get to his father’s side, he pulls on a pair of gloves he retrieves from the box, and then starts reaching for the tortillas. They must have been freshly fried, as they’re on a paper plate piled with paper towels, but they’re cool enough by now to handle.

Once again he’s hit with the sweet feeling of nostalgia. He hasn’t made enchiladas with Gabriel in years, long before he went off for his years of college. The process is simple: take the tortilla and dip it in the pot of chili sauce before layering them in the tray. It’s then that Gabriel takes over, taking a handful of the shredded chicken and onions and placing it at the center of the drenched tortilla, drizzling the homemade sauce over the pile, and folding it skillfully into a roll. It’s easy enough for one person to do, but it goes much faster with the two of them doing it. Jesse gets lost in the motions and only snaps out of it when he feels Genji peek over his shoulder at the process. He looks entranced.

“You two work well together,” he says, and Jesse cracks a smile.

“I’ve been doing this since I was a kid,” he explains. Gabriel makes a sound of agreement. “It’s a family recipe. Gabe’s _abuela_ taught him how to make this, and then he taught me when I was old enough not to get the sauce everywhere.”

“You still got it everywhere anyway,” Gabriel muses. “You and Sombra both had a horrible habit of making messes, no matter what you were doing.”

Jesse reaches the end of the tortilla pile and steps away, pulling off his gloves to toss them. Gabriel finishes up rolling the rest of the enchiladas on the serving plate, spooning the last of the sauce in the pan on the stove over them before sprinkling shredded cheese over the whole thing. “You two head to the table, I’ll bring this over in a second.”

Jesse and Genji nod dutifully before moving in the direction of the table. Jesse takes a detour for another beer and grabs one for Genji while he’s at it, but as soon as he’s holding both he makes a beeline for the kitchen table. His friend is already seated, and when Jesse hands him the beer he blinks in surprise.

“Oh, thanks.”

Jesse rolls his eyes. “Don’t act so surprised,” he chides. “Ain’t a problem.”

Genji smiles slyly. “Such a gentleman,” he teases, and Jesse tips his hat back with a grin in return.

“You know it, sugar.”

“Jesse, you know the rules,” Gabriel cuts in while he finishes up in the kitchen. “Doesn’t matter that you’re an adult now; no hats at the dinner table. Hang it up before you sit down.”

While Genji erupts into a fit of snickers, Jesse rolls his eyes with a flush and removes his hat, retreating down the hallway to the hooks by the door to hang it up. When he returns, Gabriel is placing the serving plate with the enchiladas at the empty seat. He glances up at Jesse, and seeing his hat is off, gives him a satisfied nod.

Jesse slides into the seat next to Genji just as Gabriel sits down as well, grabbing a spatula to start serving dinner. He gestures for Genji’s plate first. “So, how long have you been together?” Gabriel asks, scooping out a few enchiladas to slide onto Genji’s plate. “It had to have been recently you got together, unless Jesse’s been lying to me about not seeing anyone.”

Genji answers as he’s taking the full plate back from Gabriel’s hands. “I think as of today it’s been a little less than a month?” Genji glances Jesse’s way for confirmation, and Jesse nods in agreement. It’s been about that long since Genji asked his to start this crazy thing to begin with, so that’s the day their fake relationship started.

“Huh,” Gabriel hums as he takes Jesse’s plate. “That long already?” He makes sure to look at Jesse as he says it, accusatory enough that Jesse actually feels a pang of guilt for not telling him sooner. He sighs as he rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t tell you in case things didn’t work out,” he argues defensively. “Besides, I don’t need to constantly update you on the details of my love life. I ain’t a teenager, and I’m new to this, alright?”

“I can attest to him being new at this,” Genji interrupts, having to hold back a laugh when Jesse glares daggers at him. He continues. “If it makes you feel any better, I only told my family a little over a week ago, and that was only because we had to.” He pointedly leaves out why they were forced to, and Gabriel doesn’t pry. Genji shrugs. “We wanted to make sure we were serious about this before going public about it.”

Gabriel hands Jesse back a full plate. “It’s fine. I’m more than happy the two of you were comfortable enough to tell me at all.” He goes about serving himself, but when he sees Genji and Jesse waiting for him to get settled before eating, he scoffs and waves them off. “Go on, dig in before it gets cold. No need to wait for me.”

Genji happily obliges, snatching his fork and slicing off a large piece of one of his enchiladas and making a euphoric face when he stuffs it into his mouth. “I’m going to need to start eating here more often,” he says, and Gabriel grins smugly.

“Once you’ve had homemade, you’ll never go back to that frozen shit in TV dinners,” he says as he covers the serving dish when he’s gotten enough food on his own plate. Jesse follows Genji’s lead, taking his own bite of food and it warms him to the soul. Not only does it taste delicious, it makes him feel more at home than ever.

“I missed this,” he sighs after he’s swallowed his first bite. He helps himself to more off his plate. “Making meals at home just isn’t really the same when you live by yourself.”

Gabriel nods. “You two should come back and visit more often,” he says between mouthfuls. “It’ll give me an excuse to cook like this more.”

Genji tilts his head in confusion. He has a bit of a flush on his face from the spiciness of the chili sauce, as Gabriel usually makes it hotter since he and Jesse both like the spice, but he’s taking it like a champ and not mentioning it at all. “Don’t you and Jack cook together like this at all? I mean, probably not a lot yet since you two just moved in together, but…” he trails off when Gabriel’s already shaking his head.

“He’s not a fan of the spice,” he says, hiding a grin behind his beer. “Too much of a baby. It’s fine sometimes, but I don’t want to kill him.”

This is a topic Jesse’s been curious about since the big move. “How are things going between y’all?” he asks -- and Gabriel, surprisingly, _lights_ up.

“Things are going _great_ ,” he replies, faster than Jesse’s expecting. Gabriel leans back in his chair, closing his eyes like he’s thinking back on things. “I think this is the best we’ve ever handled things in _years_... I’m really optimistic about the future.”

“That’s fantastic!” Genji cheers at the same time Jesse raises his eyebrows and says, _“Oh?”_ He feels a sly grin pulling at the corners of his mouth, and he leans forward. “Maybe well enough that one of y’all can stop dancin’ around the other and finally pop the question?”

Gabriel snorts, but the rosiness of his cheeks is enough of an answer. “It’s a little early to be thinking about that, son. Talk to me in a couple months and we’ll see. It’s the best things have been between us for years, but still. I don’t want to rush anything.”

Jesse can’t help himself as he bursts into laughter, fork clattering to his plate. “ _Rush_ things? You and Jack Morrison have been dating on and off since y’all were _our_ age. Y’aint gonna be rushing into _anything_ at this point.”

At the same time Jesse hears Genji choke on his food and force out a coughed _“y’aint?”_ that sounds hilarious (and a little adorable) in his accent, Gabriel presses his lips in a firm line.

“I’m not going to listen to my son chide me about not proposing to my best friend when he could be in a very similar situation someday,” he deadpans, and now it’s Jesse’s turn to choke on his food. He’s too busy coughing to answer, so Genji answers for him.

“Not to echo you, but isn’t it a little early to be thinking about that?” he asks with a smile, but he doesn’t sound uncomfortable at the thought. Gabriel shrugs.

“You two are either going to break up or marry each other,” he says simply, digging into more food on his plate. “Or, if you two aren’t really big on marriage, stay together for the rest of your lives. It’s not really that strange of a thought.”

After taking a big swig of his beer and beating on his chest, Jesse gets his breathing under control. Genji hums in thought beside him, and God, Jesse thinks, please don’t let this conversation give him any ideas. “Alright, I’ll leave you alone,” he retorts. “All I’m saying is it’ll be a big celebration when you two finally get on with it.”

“Trust me,” Gabriel says, grimacing. “Ana has given the both of us enough shit about it over the years to fill a landfill. I’ll drop the subject if you do.”

“Deal,” Jesse says, reaching a hand across the table, and Gabriel shakes.

The rest of the dinner goes by smoothly. Genji fills Gabriel in on what he’s been doing since school, avoiding the subject of his family like the plague besides for a few stories about his brother. Jesse notices he seems much more relaxed when he talks about Hanzo ever since the dinner party at the Manor, which feels like a relief. He hated when they fought. Gabriel mostly just listens, adding in his two cents every now and then, but by the end of dinner when the three of them are full and both Jesse and Genji are all talked out, he gives a gentle smile.

“I’m glad you both came tonight,” he says as he stands, gathering up their plates. “You should visit more often, not just for dinner.” He eyes Jesse. “Maybe when Ana comes by, since she’s been asking about you.”

With a groan, Jesse stands and takes the plates from his father’s hands so he can do the dishes instead. “She calls me once a _week_ and we talk,” he complains.

“You know how she is,” Gabriel laughs. “You’re the only son she’s never had. She wants to keep up with you to make sure you’re doing okay.” He checks the time and moves away from the table. “I’ll be right back. I told Jack I’d call him to see if he made it in alright.” Jesse nods his way and Gabriel pulls his phone out of his pocket before moving to another room.

While Jesse goes about washing the dishes, Genji slides up to him. “See? That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” he murmurs with a grin, still nursing his beer from dinner. Jesse huffs a sigh as he scrubs at their dirty plates.

“In my opinion, honey, this was still harder than dinner at your place.” Genji laughs quietly in disbelief, so Jesse continues. “I told you before we came inside: it’s easier to lie to a bunch of people you don’t know well.”

“He figured it out before we even told him though,” Genji whispers back. In the background, Gabriel gets Jack on the line and starts up a conversation. Genji nudges him in the side. “That’s _good_ \-- that means that we look like we’re hiding something before we say anything.”

“We’ve always been like that,” Jesse corrects, and Genji rolls his eyes.

“Alright, but we’ve been friends long enough that people we know have started thinking that the thing we’re hiding is the fact we’re dating. That’s _exactly_ what we need them to think.”

The way he’s talking is making it feel like they’re spies and it’ll be life or death if they’re discovered. Jesse pauses. Well, maybe that was the case for Genji, but still. “You’re thinking ‘bout this too hard, sugar. No one is gonna think we’re faking this. _No one does this in real life_.”

Genji gives him a look. “We are.”

Jesse sighs. He stacks rinsed plates in the dishwasher. “You got me there.”

“All I’m saying is that we’re doing well,” Genji says. “Remember, it’s not your family we really have to worry about fooling, its--”

“Your family, I know,” Jesse murmurs while rinsing forks off under the faucet. He inhales deeply, releasing all the air in a large breath. “I’ll be honest, this is a hell of a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be.”

“I know,” Genji breathes. “It’s fine. This is good. This will be over before you know it and then we can go back to the way things were when my family backs off.”

“Any news on that, by the way?” Jesse has to ask, and Genji clams up, biting his lip.

“I’ll... tell you about that when we get back into the car,” he says, but before Jesse can ask what he means by that, Gabriel comes back in. That’s when he realizes he’s been holding the same three forks under the stream of hot water for much longer than he needed, and he quickly puts them in the dishwasher.

“How were things with Jack?” Genji asks for Jesse, crossing the room to get to the recycling can to throw away his empty bottle. Gabriel goes about straightening up the kitchen table, a smile on his face.

“Fine. He rented a motel room up there near the college so he doesn’t have to drive back for four hours since he’d be getting back pretty late and he’s getting tired. He hopes you both are having a good night, and he said Hana’s doing well.” He grabs the leftover enchiladas to move to another container to put in the fridge, and when he’s done so he hands Jesse the dirty serving plate. “He agreed with me when I told him the two of you should come over more often to visit.”

“Oh, I see how it is,” Jesse says breezily. “Just me comin’ over whenever I can isn’t good enough for you now?”

Gabriel purses his lips. “Get a new job and maybe you’ll make it over more than once a month.”

Genji laughs and Jesse finishes up the dishes, stacking the rest of the dirty cookware in the dishwasher before shutting the door. “Duly noted,” he mutters tiredly. “My dad wants me to quit my job.”

“Also,” Gabriel adds, sticking the small container of leftovers in the fridge. “That invitation to visit is open to you too as long as either Jack or I are home, Genji. The two of us are gonna have a lot of free time now that we’re by ourselves most of the time.”

Genji smiles. “Absolutely, Gabriel. I really appreciate it.”

With a sweeping motion, Gabriel beckons Genji into another hug, which Genji falls into gratefully. “Don’t let your family get to you, kiddo, alright?” Gabe murmurs into the smaller man’s hair. “They'll come around if they really love you.”

Genji nods into Gabriel’s shoulder. “I won’t.”

“Take care of Jesse too,” Gabriel adds when they pull away from each other. “Keep an eye on him and make sure he isn’t overworking himself.”

“I’m right here,” Jesse butts in stubbornly. “Can hear every word you’re sayin’ about me.”

Gabriel doesn’t pay him any mind, just waits for Genji to nod and smile at him before he moves on to his son. He cracks a smile. “Thanks for doing the dishes. I really appreciate you coming over to keep an old man company, and especially for bringing your date.”

“It was fun makin’ dinner with you again,” Jesse replies warmly. He scratches at his beard nervously. “Thanks for being cool about me just dumpin’ this whole thing on you without any warning. I think it was just easier to surprise ya.”

Gabriel laughs. “What kind of father would I be if I wasn’t fine with you bringing your boyfriend over so I could meet him?” He repeats the gesture of opening his arms open for an embrace, and Jesse is falls in. “It’s always good to see you, Jess. Don’t be a stranger.”

“Course I won’t.” He feels the smallest bit guilty for lying, so to make up for it, Jesse stays in the hug for a moment longer than he usually does. “Love ya, Dad.”

Gabriel presses a kiss to his temple. “Love you too. C’mon, let me walk you out.”

They break apart and Genji reaches out to take his hand, and they walk out the house. Gabriel follows them out, tucking his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, watching Genji and Jesse get into the truck. When they get in and shut the doors, Jesse hisses out a long sigh of relief as he reaches for his keys.

“See? Easy-peasy,” he mutters, retrieving his keys and shoving them in the ignition. Genji stays quiet, watching him fumble with an amused expression as he pulls his phone from his jeans pocket.

“I’m proud of you, Jesse.”

“Uh-huh,” Jesse says absentmindedly as he backs out of the driveway. He makes sure to wave at Gabriel, who’s standing in the doorway to watch them leave, as they pull out before beginning to drive away. It’s not until they reach the end of the street that he speaks up again. “So, you said you were going to elaborate on me asking how your family thinks about me. If you may?”

Genji’s face falls. “Right. That’s… the bad news.” He starts fidgeting with his hands, pressing the lock button on his phone absentmindedly. “Well, I found out my family thinks this whole thing between us is just a stunt. I overheard them talking to my father the other night.”

Jesse swears under his breath, but continues to focus on the road. “Well, you expected that. What does that have to do with anything?”

“What my father had to say was that, if this was a stunt, then it’d be over before the end of the year,” Genji continues. “So if we’re going to make this work--”

Jesse swears louder this time. That meant things weren’t going to blow over by October, like Genji was planning. “So you’re sayin’ we’re gonna have to keep this up for another few months,” he states. Genji doesn’t answer at first.

“Are you mad?” he asks carefully, voice quiet, and Jesse sighs, rubbing at his eyes.

“Ain’t mad. Frustrated your family thinks an arranged marriage is the only way to deal with a kid who likes to sleep around. For Christ’s sake -- this isn’t the nineteenth century! If you like to sleep around, I don’t see a problem with it as long as you’re being safe about it!” He continues to grumble under his breath as he reaches into the console of the truck for his cigarettes. All this stress was going to kill him -- for a minute he forgets his manners. When he pulls to a stop at a light he reveals the cigarette to a wide eyed Genji. “D’ya mind?”

Genji shakes his head, and Jesse doesn’t waste time before he snags his lighter and lights up. While he’s taking a drag, Genji speaks up again. “If you’re not okay with this Jesse, please, just tell me--”

“It’s fine, Genji,” Jesse says, the rush of nicotine from the cigarette releasing a wave of calm throughout his body. “What I’m not okay with is your family being a bunch of uptight fuckwads.”

Genji’s laugh sounds exhausted, and he slumps down in his seat. “I know, I know, they’re a lot to deal with. I’m sorry for dragging you into this.”

Jesse takes another drag on his cigarette. “Our friendship has always been an adventure, sugar. That’s good -- it means that things never get boring.” He shoots Genji a smile, trying to appear reassuring. “And I mean, it’s not my social life that’s suffering because of this thing we have goin’ on. I think if we had to do this forever, I think I could handle that.” He snorts. “You, on the other hand…”

That seems to perk Genji up. He laughs thickly. “Oh God, no. I’d be stuck in a dry spell that lasted the rest of my life. I’d die.” He raises an eyebrow suggestively, pursing his lips. “Unless, of course, you’re including a friends-with-benefits offer in there with that.”

Jesse chuckles, shaking his head. “I don’t think you want that, hon.”

With a roll of the eyes, Genji sits up straighter. “Come on, you’ve at least _thought_ about it right? _Maybe_ had a wet dream about me?” When Jesse just gives him a strange look, he seems blown away. Eyes wide, he says, “No? Are you serious? I’m your hot, bisexual best friend and you’ve _never_ had a wet dream or fantasy about me before? In all the years we’ve known each other? Not _one?”_

“No?” Jesse offers, and he’s telling the absolute truth. He doesn’t know why this seems like such a big deal, but then the wording of Genji’s statements seem to hit him. He flushes all the way down to his chest. “Wait, does that mean you’ve had sexual fantasies about me?”

Genji looks like Jesse asked him a stupid question. “Jesse, I’m allowed to say this because I’m your best friend. You’re hot. Extremely so. It’d be weird for me not to think about it every once in a while.”

“I beg your pardon?” Jesse’s voice sounds strange in his ears. Genji continues on like he hasn’t just dropped a verbal bomb into their conversation, crossing his arms.

“It’s actually a _tragedy_ that someone hasn’t come by and taken advantage of your good looks and southern charm by now. That’s got to be _someone’s_ kink.”

“Alright, that’s enough. I don’t wanna hear about this anymore.” Jesse’s thankful that Genji’s mind is off the subject of his family and their problems with him, but he’s instantly regretted changing that topic to the one at hand. He doesn’t know why hearing about how attractive he was made him squirm, but he knows he just wants it to end. He takes another drag on his cigarette as Genji begins to laugh again.

He has a long few months ahead of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder you can find me on my [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) and now at my [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)!! ill absolutely be more active on twitter tho
> 
> i hope you all have a happy holiday, ill see you in two weeks!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m going to kiss you, Jesse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year everyone! thank you for all the holiday wishes, every single one of you are so kind and deserve the world. i have some info i need to share, but i'm gonna put it at the end so you don't have to wait for the next chapter. as you can see from the summary, some interesting things are about to go down... ;)
> 
> anyway, please enjoy!!

The next few weeks are very uneventful. Jesse starts taking the advice Genji, his father, and Ana all give him and starts looking around for a mechanic job he can take that he’s not overqualified for, but he hasn’t been having much luck. Despite Genji revealing his family thought their relationship was just a stunt, they’ve kept things pretty quiet. They still text each other pretty regularly, but since Genji wasn’t going out every weekend partying, he took some more shifts at the flower shop to take up more of his time. Because of that, they haven’t been able to do much fake dating done.

It’s all quiet, until it’s not.

It’s early on a Monday morning, Jesse sipping at his coffee and checking through the classifieds again when he hears someone knock on his door. He peeks at his phone to see if he might have missed any calls from the person who was on the other side of his door, but when it comes up blank he shrugs and gets up to answer it.

Once again, Genji is on the other side. Jesse doesn’t even say anything as he lets him in, yawning as Genji starts pulling his shoes off. “Mornin’.”

“Good morning,” Genji offers up, his voice hoarse, holding a paper cup in his free hand as he tugs off his trainers. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in person for a while -- I figured I should visit so it didn’t seem weird.”

“Fine. Looking for work.” Jesse waits patiently until Genji’s done removing his shoes before making his way back into the kitchen, hearing Genji shuffle in after him. He checks the clock to see what time it was, and he’s surprised to see it’s only half past nine. “This is pretty early for you. I’m impressed.”

It’s obvious Genji’s gotten up less than an hour ago. His fading green hair is still damp from a shower and he’s not wearing any makeup -- dark circles evident under his eyes. The smell coming from his paper coffee cup smells strong for tea. His friend nods as he hides a yawn with his hand. “I’m impressed with myself. I only get up this early if I have somewhere special to go -- consider yourself lucky you’re seeing me now.”

He's acting strangely. Genji won't look him in the eye and he seems jittery; the kind of restless you get when you haven't slept but have down enough caffeine to keep you functioning. Even though it worries him, Jesse ignores it and takes a seat. If Genji wanted to talk about it, he would bring it up. “Was there anything you wanted to do? We can fake a date since we both have the time today.”

Genji sits down across from him and lays his head on the table. “Maybe in a little while. I’m really tired today, Jesse.” His voice sounds anything but enthusiastic, and that worry strikes in Jesse’s chest.

“You alright, pumpkin?” he asks cautiously. Genji shrugs.

“I had an argument with a bunch of my father’s advisors last night. It’s fine, I just didn’t sleep very well afterwards.” He doesn’t look Jesse’s way, eyes shut. “That’s… also why I showed up. I needed to get out of the house and you were the first place I thought of to go.”

It feels good that Jesse’s apartment is the first place Genji thinks about going when he isn’t feeling great, but he pushes the thought down. There’s more important things to worry about right now. “You can take a nap in my bed if you want, darlin’,” he offers softly. “We can head out to the mall later get some lunch if you want, too.”

Genji raises his head just a little bit from the table. He looks conflicted, but his eyes are very tired. “I don’t want to be a bother, Jesse--” but Jesse cuts him off with a snort.

“You ain’t botherin’ me, sweetheart. Just head in and take a nap, and I’ll wake you up in a couple hours so we can head out to lunch. My treat.” He reaches for his coffee mug and takes a sip. “I’ll be here in case you need anything.”

Genji hesitates a moment longer before standing from his seat. He keeps his eyes trained on the ground. “Alright, I will. Thank you.”

“Not a problem at all,” Jesse says, and watches as Genji pads into the hallway to get to Jesse's bedroom. He waits for the sound of the bedroom door clicking shut before he looks back down at the classifieds. After a few minutes of scanning, and failing to see anything catch his eye, he realizes Genji left his tea on the table. He isn’t sure if Genji will still want it later, so he stands and makes his way after his friend. He pauses in front of the bedroom door. “Hey, honey--”

He freezes in his tracks when he hears muffled sobs from the other side of the door. Was Genji... crying? He waits for any sort of sign to show Genji heard him, but when when he hears none he questions whether or not he should go in and see what was wrong. A part of him is against the idea, as Genji hated delving too deeply into his personal issues. On the other hand, Jesse hated seeing people he cared about hurting.

He swallows, and knocks on the door. “Genji?”

The sniffles cut off abruptly. There’s a moment of shuffling and muttered Japanese before Genji clears his throat. “Yeah?” It’s a poor attempt at sounding calm and collected, his voice sounding raw. Jesse chews his bottom lip.

“You alright in there?”

“Yeah.” Genji’s voice cracks unconvincingly. “I’m fine.”

Jesse can’t take it -- he pushes the door open with a frown on his face, and Genji startles. His eyes are red rimmed and puffy even though he’s been by himself for a few minutes at most. He must have been crying before he even got here -- that would explain why his voice was so rough. “Don’t lie to me, sweetheart,” Jesse states, voice gentle.

Genji instantly starts rubbing at his eyes, looking away to hide his face. “It’s nothing, Jesse. I’m fine.”

Jesse sighs, crossing the room to sit next to his friend. “You can’t hide this from me, so don’t try to lie your way out of this. I’m just worried about you.”

“It’s not --” Genji cuts himself off with an irritated sigh. “Look, it’s fine. I’m dealing with it.”

“Dealing with what?” Jesse knows he’s pushing it, but he wants to have Genji get whatever on his mind out into the open so it doesn’t fester and rot. He knows from too many personal experiences that's the worst way to deal with your problems. “C’mon, you know you can talk to me.”

“Jesse,” Genji warns, but his voice is wavering. “Drop it.”

Squaring his jaw, Jesse hardens his tone. “No, I ain’t gonna drop it. I deserve to know what’s going on since you showed up at _my_ apartment without any warning early on a Monday mornin’ when I _know_ you’re usually in bed with a hangover. Now, I know you hate talkin’ about shit like this but _I don’t care_ \-- I’m not just gonna sit around pretending things are alright when they clearly ain’t.” He pulls his arms across his chest, facing Genji who’s staring at him in a stunned silence. “Now talk to me.”

There’s a few seconds where Genji just sits there, gaping at him before his face crumples and he turns his back to the floor. His voice is barely above a whisper. “The argument from last night. It was about my father.” He wraps his arms around himself. “He and Hanzo are on a business trip and won’t be getting back until tonight, so a bunch of family members cut me off when I was eating dinner. Without my brother or my father to act as a buffer, they could say whatever the wanted.” He shakes his head. “It was the same shit they always say, about how I need to grow up and take a job with the company, and just… I don’t know.”

Genji hangs his head. “Usually I just shrug them off, and it was fine at first. My aunts and uncles are repetitive, so they were practically quoting exactly what they always say. But then they brought up Father and--” he stifles a sob, covering his mouth with his hand. “I knew he was sick and it was getting worse, but--!”

He finally looks Jesse’s way, eyes shining with fresh tears. “Jesse, my father is _dying_.”

It’s a slap to the face. Of all the things Jesse could have possibly expected, this fell somewhere along the bottom of the list. Cold settles in his gut, and he tries to find something to respond with because _what_ can you _possibly_ say to someone in a situation like this? He seemed well enough at the dinner a few weeks before, but Jesse’s smart enough to know appearances can be misleading.

“Genji, I’m so sorry.” His tongue feels like clay. “How... long do you have?” Genji’s bottom lip quivers and he hugs himself tighter.

“They say he’ll be gone before the New Year… any longer and it’ll be a miracle.” He looks like he’s about to burst into tears again but he’s fighting it, so Jesse just reaches out and pulls Genji into a tight hug.

“Don’t fight your crying,” he murmurs, petting Genji’s hair soothingly. “It’s alright to cry about this. It’s gonna be alright.”

Sure enough, Genji shudders a little before he dissolves into tears, crying into Jesse’s chest. “It’s my fault,” he sobs. “I should have been helping him -- h-he wouldn’t have gotten worse if I was paying attention and doing my part--”

Jesse shushes him. “Darlin’, it ain’t your fault. Don’t say that.” He lets Genji curl up in his lap. “If he’s really as sick as you say he is, you couldn’t have helped him. I ain’t tryin’ to be mean, I’m just telling the truth.” Genji just starts crying harder, and Jesse tries a new approach. “He’s much happier knowing you’re happy where you’re at. If the rest of your family is trying to blame you for this, they’re wrong.”

“I don’t want him to die,” Genji whimpers.

“Of course you don’t. No one wants people they love to die -- you’d have to be heartless if that were true, and you’re the farthest thing from that.” Jesse pulls Genji closer, hushing him softly. “Just cry until you feel a little bit better, sugar. I won’t leave ya.”

They sit like that for a while. Genji cries into Jesse’s chest until he can’t get out another tear, and shortly after that he drifts off to sleep. When Jesse realizes this, he huffs out a silent sigh and realizes he’s trapped. He thanks God he had shifted how they were sitting a little earlier so they were more comfortable, his back against the pillows and their legs stretched out across the sheets. Genji is tucked into his side, cheek resting over Jesse's heart and arm stretched across his middle, and it’s apparent that he’s not moving anytime soon.

At least he cried himself out, Jesse thinks to himself. As a bonus, he could be in one of several more uncomfortable positions than the one he’s in right now. It’s still pretty early in the morning and neither of them have anywhere they need to be, so Jesse could settle down for a nap as well if he wanted to.

He cranes his head back to stare at his ceiling, matching his breathing to Genji’s slow and steady breaths as he sleeps. It’s a very calming atmosphere, and if it weren’t for the two cups of coffee he had earlier and his racing thoughts, he’s sure he could drift off to sleep as well. Too bad the caffeine is working against him.

The news that Sojiro Shimada was actually _dying_ sent his mind into overdrive, but at the time when he heard it his priority was comforting Genji. Now that Genji has settled down and fallen asleep, it jumps back to the forefront of his thoughts. Jesse always knew that Sojiro’s health was always feeble at best, but it’s still hard to imagine that his illness is terminal and he won’t make it through the rest of the year.

It’s no surprise Genji’s taking the news as hard as he is. He was especially close to his father, more so than Hanzo ever was, and the two of them shared a special bond that rivaled the one that Jesse shared with Gabriel. It’s hard to imagine what Genji will be like without his father in his life -- Jesse knows he’d be lost without Gabriel’s intervention; he got to experience that first hand during that  _damn_ custody case.

Jesse frowns. He hasn’t really _thought_ about it in years. Heard it mentioned in passing, but never really thought about the whole clusterfuck of issues he’d had to suffer in his early adolescence. It was an issue of his birth father, who had run off before his mother had even _had_ him, discovering his existence and thinking of a way to add some extra money on his social security checks. Jesse had been adopted and lived with Gabriel for a few years when they had gotten the phone call that told them that their was going to be a case to determine who was going to take care of Jesse, who had just turned thirteen.

The courts had favored in Jesse’s birth father, who made the case that he was never aware that Jesse was born and felt cheated of his fatherhood being taken away from him. He said that Gabriel already had a child in his daughter Olivia, so he should have the chance to raise his son.

Gabriel was devastated. The only time Jesse’s ever seen him cry is when social services came to pick him and his belonging up and cart him over to his birth father’s house. Gabriel had gripped him by the shoulders and told him he was going to do whatever he could to appeal this, then gave him a tight hug as Jesse cried into his shoulder. He broke down when Jesse got into the car to be driven away.

Jesse hates thinking about those two years he was forced to live with his father and stepmother. Both were distant and unforgiving, cruel and abusive -- Jesse ran away so many times to Gabriel’s that he was no longer allowed to see him while the case was still open, or Gabriel would have been held accountable. Jesse started acting out for attention, began hanging out a bunch of truant high school stragglers, and his grades suffered. It was the hardest two years of his life.

It was around that time that Genji entered his life. He and his brother were fresh off the boat, the Shimada’s moving to the USA for their father's growing business empire, and it was a change that Jesse needed since he was so worked up with being at home most of the time. Genji hated being at home too, so the two became fast friends and kept to themselves. Hanzo joined their party infrequently, and Jesse's friendship with the two of them grounded him and made it easier to get by.

Thankfully, his story had a happy ending. After two years of a disgusting home life and constant hearings and court dates, Jesse regained his faith in the world when the courts finally decided that Gabriel was a more suitable guardian and Jesse could be placed back in his care the remainder of his childhood. That night when he returned home -- to his _real_ home, he and Gabriel and Sombra all just held each other in a circle in their living room, and didn’t let go.

Jesse’s rocketed back into the present when Genji mutters something in his sleep and pulls himself closer, entangling their legs together. That old cliche that said people looked younger when they slept was true -- Genji looks like the spitting image of the teenager who Jesse had first befriended while he rests. Jesse laughs silently to himself and puts an arm around his friend, and decides to just shut his eyes for a little bit so he’s not counting cracks in his ceiling as Genji catches up on his rest.

He must have fallen into a light sleep at some point, because he’s roused out of it when Genji starts shifting beside him. He yawns as Genji makes a groaning sound low in his throat, raising his head and rubbing at his eyes. His eyes and face are still puffy from his earlier crying fit, but after a moment he opens them and blinks blearily at him.

“Mornin’, sweetheart,” Jesse says, grinning toothily, and Genji’s eyebrows pulls together in confusion before they raise when he remembers what had happened. He shuts his eyes again and dips his head back down to press against Jesse’s chest. He says something in Japanese and Jesse has no idea what it means. “Pardon? English, please.”

Genji shakes his head. “Sorry, head’s foggy. Time?”

Jesse peeks at the clock hanging above his door. “Nearly one. You feeling better?”

“If you’re asking me if I’m gonna start crying again, I’m not, but I still feel like shit,” Genji mutters into Jesse’s chest, not making any sign he was going to move. He laughs halfheartedly. “Probably look like it too.”

“You look fine,” Jesse chides. “Looked pretty cute when you were asleep too. I should’ve snapped a picture to put up on my Instagram.”

Genji groans, raising his head again with his eyes narrowed. “I’m glad you didn’t. I’d kill you if I saw that on my feed.”

Jesse laughs, jostling his friend with the arm he has around him. “You hungry? We can head to the mall to get somethin’ to eat and then can shop around if you want. Make it an official date since we haven’t had one of those in a while.”

“I’m starving,” Genji retorts. He yawns and shuts his eyes as he lays his head back down on Jesse’s chest, waving his arm dismissively. “Just… let me wake up and make myself less disgusting before we go.”

Jesse smiles. “Sure thing, hon. You just gotta let me get up.”

Genji’s head pokes back up, and then he realizes he’s wrapped around Jesse like an octopus. “Oh, sorry. Sure.” He pulls away and rolls onto his back, yawning again. “I didn’t even realize I was practically on top of you.”

Jesse swings his legs over the side of the bed. “It wasn’t so bad. You’re clingy, but it’s not like you’re a violent sleeper or anything.” He smirks over his shoulder. “I assume you’re usually the big spoon in all your relationships?”

“Fuck off,” Genji shoots back, but it doesn’t carry any venom. He actually sounds a little embarrassed. “You could have just shoved me off, I wouldn’t have minded.”

“Nah, I didn’t mind. It was nice. Anyway, I got a chance to nap myself.” He leaves out that he didn’t want to pull away from Genji while he still seemed to be in such a fragile emotional state, when one of the fastest ways to calm him down when he was upset was with casual touches. Besides, Jesse’s gotten used to PDA in the month and a half they’ve had to fake their relationship. A little spooning never hurt anyone. He stands and stretches. “Just tell me when you’re ready to leave and we’ll head out.”

“Okay.” Genji yawns again and rolls over to get up himself, but ends up rolling right off the bed onto the floor with a thunk. Jesse doesn’t see him, but he hears a mumbled, “Oof.”

Jesse fights back a smile. “You okay, sugar?”

“I misjudged how big the bed was. It’s cool.” He pulls himself to his feet, hair a mess, and he gives a thumbs up. “See, I’m good.”

With a laugh, Jesse starts making his way into the kitchen. “Just making sure.” His cup of coffee and Genji’s tea are still sitting on the kitchen table, cold now since they’ve been left out for a few hours. He goes about cleaning up, dumping the tea out in the sink and throwing the toss-away cup into the trash before putting his coffee mug in the sink. It’s not until he’s rinsing it out is that Genji finally exits his room and passes by him to get to the bathroom.

There’s a loud groan when Genji disappears into it. “I look awful. You were lying to me,” Genji calls from inside, followed by the sound of him grumbling under his breath. Jesse laughs to himself, folds up his newspapers and pockets his phone.

“I did it to make you feel better.”

“Still makes you a liar,” Genji repeats as the sound of the faucet turns on. There’s some splashing, the sound of gargling, and then the rushing water is gone as the faucet turns off. He reappears moments later, dabbing at his face with a towel. “My eyes are  _way_ too puffy to pass off for allergies.”

Jesse rolls his eyes. “Do you need me to get ya anythin’?”

Genji’s quiet as he thinks for a moment. “Sunglasses maybe? Just until the swelling goes down.” Jesse gestures to the front hall as he stands.

“Lucky you left a pair here and I kept forgetting to give ‘em back you ya. They’re out near the door -- we can grab ‘em when we head out.” He stuffs a hand in his back pocket. “You think you’re ready to go?”

With a nod, Genji disappears back into the bathroom to replace the towel he borrowed, and then he returns and follows Jesse down the hall. He finds his sunglasses easily and slips them on his head before getting his shoes and pulling them on as Jesse busies himself with his boots and his hat. Finally, Jesse grabs his keys from the table near the door, and holds the door open for Genji when they’re ready to depart. Genji thanks him quietly as they leave.

It’s a silent car ride the whole way to the mall. Genji is on his phone the entire time, checking through notifications with his teeth worrying at his bottom lip. Finally, right as they’re pulling up to the mall, there’s a call and Genji nearly leaps out of his skin. His eyes dart Jesse’s way. “It’s Angela. I should take this.”

Jesse nods with his lips pursed and Genji swipes his thumb across the screen and pulls his phone up to his ear. “Hello, Angela.”

Angela Ziegler's voice is so loud on the other end Jesse can almost make out what she’s saying, Genji jerking the phone away from his ear to avoid being deafened, but almost instantly he’s already trying to talk over her. “Angela, stop, I’m fine. I’m okay.” A pause, then a sigh. “No, I’m not at home. I’m out with Jesse.” Another pause, and then Genji laughs a little breathlessly. “Yes, _that_ Jesse McCree. I don’t know any others.”

Jesse tries not to eavesdrop, pulling into the parking lot for the mall and finding a parking space as Genji continues his call with Angela. Genji listens for a long while, his face growing darker and darker. “No, he’s not. It’s terminal.” After another break in the conversation Jesse can only hear one side of, Genji takes a shuddering breath. “No, it’s -- look, Angela, I really don’t want to talk about this right now. Jesse’s helping me take my mind off of it.”

Pulling up into an empty space, Jesse parks and turns off the car while he waits for Genji to finish up his call. His cheeks turning red, Genji fights a smile growing on his face. “No, not like that. I need to go. Don’t you have a girl you’re trying to woo anyway?” He laughs again. “I’ll call you later when I get home, I promise. Bye, Angela.” He ends the call.

“How’s she doing?” Jesse asks curiously. He hasn’t seen Angela Ziegler since high school graduation, despite she and Genji staying fast friends. Genji rolls his eyes as he unbuckles his seat-belt.

“Worried about me. Asking for relationship advice because she’s floundering.” He snickers to himself. “She spent so many years in medical school and keeping her grades up she doesn’t know the first thing to do when it comes to romance. She’s stunted -- kind of like you, actually.”

Far used to the quips about his nonexistent love life outside of their fake relationship, Jesse just laughs as he pulls his keys from the ignition and pockets them. “You’re insulting the man who’s gonna pay for your lunch -- I’d watch it, Shimada.”

After Genji checks his eyes again in the rear view mirror to see if the evidence of his crying fit from that morning was still apparent, they both get out of the car and make their way into the building, making a beeline for the food court. Genji ends up picking a normal Mom and Pop pizza shop and they each get two slices and bags of chips, deciding to split the drink to keep up the appearance of their relationship in case they ran into anyone they knew. It wasn’t likely on a Monday, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

“There anywhere you wanna go while we’re here?” Jesse asks when they sit down with their food, and Genji hums in thought as he chews, sunglasses pushed up into his hair.

“We could find you a new dress shirt for the next time we eat dinner over with my family,” he suggests, and Jesse halts in the middle of taking a bite of his pizza to wince.

“I don’t have the money for somethin’ like that right now,” he begins, but Genji’s cutting him off with a wave of his arm.

“Shut up, I’m not gonna make you pay for it. I’ll buy it.” Jesse opens his mouth to argue, but Genji shuts him up with a glare. “It’s my treat. You kept me together when I was having a breakdown _and_ you bought me lunch. It’s the least I can do.”

Jesse blinks owlishly, coming up speechless for a minute. Did Genji really think that his favors were all for their fake relationship? “Genji, you don’t--” he sighs in exasperation, putting down his slice of pizza so he can use both of his hands to gesture. “I stayed with you when you were having a bad time because I _care_ about you. I don’t expect you to _repay_ me for my _time_.”

Genji looks guilty as he stares at his tray. “I know that. It’s just...” he nibbles on his crust, seeming to have a hard time putting his thoughts into words. “I really appreciate you doing this all for me. Not just… this relationship, but for this morning. I’ll be honest, I’m definitely not okay about all of this, and I’m not ready for my Father to--” he stops himself when his voice becomes too tight, taking a deep breath before he continues. “...but just being with you is making me feel better. I really can’t thank you enough for that.”

Once again, words fail him. Jesse just stares, and Genji flushes.

“And also, spending money makes me feel better too, so just let me fucking buy you a stupid dress shirt you can wear _once_ for all I care.”

He can’t help it, Jesse starts to laugh. “Alright, alright. I understand.” He returns to his food. “We can go spend some time in the arcade too if you want. You can kick my ass in air hockey like you always do and blow all the tickets you win on one of those shitty decoder rings. Just as long as this is actually working and wasting our time in the mall is getting your mind off of things.”

Genji snorts. “Don’t worry, it’s working. This pizza is so greasy I’m going to have a stomachache in a few hours -- but it’s good enough that I don’t want to stop.” He bites off a big piece like he’s trying to prove his point, chewing happily as he gives Jesse a wink. The quiet that fills the space between them then is comfortable as they eat, gobbling down food to sedate their hunger.

Suddenly Genji catches sight of something behind Jesse and sucks in a startled breath, coughing when food goes down the wrong pipe. He pounds his chest as he grabs their drink to wash the food he’s choking on down, instantly looking away from whatever caught his eye and instead down at their table. Jesse looks at him curiously, head tilted and question on his tongue, but he goes to turn around and see if he can identify the thing that caused Genji such alarm. Before he can do that, however, Genji snatches his wrist tightly.

“Don’t look behind you,” he forces out between coughs, keeping his brown eyes trained solely on Jesse. “I just caught sight of my ex. She’s sitting three tables behind you.”

Jesse respectfully doesn’t move his head an inch. “This ex good, bad, or ugly?”

Genji makes a face, finally getting his breathing under control. “Try manipulative and emotionally abusive.” He releases Jesse’s wrist with a gentle squeeze and returns to his second slice of pizza. “We hooked up after a party one night a few years ago. Apparently I was her first time and she made a big deal about it, so I tried to date her just so she would get off my back. _Big_ mistake.” He bites down hard on his crust, looking cross.

Jesse’s memory is hazy, but images and past conversations start to surface. “Wait, I think I remember her.” Jesse hated the woman with everything he had because she made a living out of making Genji uncomfortable. He frowns deeply, glaring at the table. “If I’m bein’ honest with ya, I’d _love_ to have a few choice words with the lady.”

He catches a wry smile peaking at the corners of Genji’s mouth as he pops the last piece of his crust in his mouth, shaking his head. “No, we should just avoid her altogether. I don’t even want to look at her anymore.” He dips his head towards their empty paper plates and trash. He grins. “You ready to try on some nice dress shirts for me?”

Jesse finishes the last bite of his own food and nods as he reaches for the last of the drink. “Ready as I’ll ever be, sweetheart,” he replies after downing the last of the soda in the cup, and the two of them gather their garbage and stand. Genji dumps the trays in the trash before moving back to his side, looping his arm underneath Jesse’s so so he can hang off his arm. He’s biting his lip.

“Okay,” Genji murmurs, sounding a little worried. “Don’t freak out, but she just stood up when we got up. She might have saw me and she might be trying to follow us.”

Jesse frowns, a cold feeling settling in his stomach, but keeps walking ahead. “I'm hoping you’re bein’ a little paranoid, hon, but I wouldn’t put it past her. We’ll stop in a few stores so we can look around, and you just keep your eyes peeled. If she stops in every single shop we do, she’s followin’ us.” He cracks a grin. “And if she is, it’ll give me an excuse to give her a piece of my mind.”

Genji punches him, but can’t stop the grin from lighting up his face. “Alright, I’ll play along. Here--” he pulls them to a stop in front of Victoria’s Secret with a sly grin. “Let’s start off big.”

Jesse instantly feels regret, as he doesn’t really know what he’s gotten himself into, but he nods and Genji drags them in and over to the lingerie section, tucked away in a corner pretty far inside the store. He feels the stares from the normal shoppers burning a hole into his back, and Genji hums while he decides over different styles.

“Believe it or not,” he says distractedly, eyes trailing over the display mannequins, “I actually wanted to come in here for something. They had a new type of cincher I wanted….”

Jesse clears his throat and tries to ignore the women staring at him. “Sure thing, sugar. Take your time.” He busies himself with watching the door out of the corner of his eye for Genji’s ex. Sure enough, a woman that Jesse recognizes walks up to the storefront and looks around without stepping inside. Jesse manages to look away before the Ex sees him, and he waits a few moments before looking back to see she’s busying herself with one of the underwear displays near the front of the store.

He feels a flash of anger. She was waiting for them to leave.

“Aha!” Genji cheers triumphantly, pulling away from Jesse’s arm to pick up a pair of the lingerie he was apparently looking for. It’s black and lacy and _Lordy_ does Jesse flush down to his chest when he realizes that Genji’s buying it for himself. Genji doesn’t seem to notice, checking the fabric over to make sure there aren’t any flaws or imperfections. “Good, there’s only one left in my size. C’mon, Jesse. I have to pay for this, but then we can get going.”

“S-Sure.” Jesse has a moment where’s he’s rocketed back to the night he was taking Genji home after they came out to Gabriel, and in particular their conversation they had about sexual fantasies. He has to squash the thoughts out like a cigarette butt before he gets too caught up in it, forcing himself to follow after his friend as Genji makes his way to the checkout counter. While he’s being rung up, Jesse remembers what he was supposed to be doing and leans close, keeping his voice low. “You’re right, your Ex is following us. She didn’t want to come too far into the store, but she’s waiting near the entrance for us.”

Genji bites his lip as he digs through his wallet for his credit card. “I figured as much. She’s _really_ not happy with how I ended things with her. She keeps trying to get me to take her back.” He gives a halfhearted smile to the cashier when he hands her his card, glancing at Jesse. “Let’s leave through the other entrance, then try to lose her in the Macy’s. Once we leave there, we can head to the arcade. She’ll never follow us in there.”

Jesse nods, and when Genji puts his returned card to his wallet he loops his arm around Jesse’s waist and grabs his bag off the counter. They weave in and out of the few other miscellaneous shoppers before heading for the other open entrance to the store, starting their trek towards the department store. Jesse resists the urge to see how far the Ex is following behind them and just lets Genji take the lead.

A few yards down, finally they turn into the Macy’s. He wrinkles his nose when they walk through the perfume department, Genji making a face as well and coughing slightly. “Turn here-- we’ll take the escalator up to the second floor, then make a break for it.”

“We’re gonna actually be _running_ from your ex?” Jesse clarifies, and Genji shrugs.

“I _really_ don’t want to talk to her.”

Jesse breathes out a sigh through his nose, but doesn’t say another word. He supposes running would be better than actually having to see this girl flounder her way through a plead for Genji to take her back. Something hits him. “Wait, does he know we’re supposed to be dating?”

They take a sharp turn to step onto the escalator, and Jesse catches sight of the Ex following a few yards behind them while Genji shakes his head. “I blocked her from all my social media accounts. I don’t know how she would have found out.” He frowns. “Besides, you _think s_ he’d take a hint from the way I’m hanging off of you.”

“I don’t remember you sayin’ anything about her being smart,” Jesse replies grimly.

Genji purses his lips, looking stumped. “You’re right.”

When the end of the escalator appears in front of them, Genji speaks up again. “Remember. As soon as we’re out of sight from the escalator--”

“Run like hell, I gotcha.” Genji unlinks their arms and instead tangles their fingers together to make their sprint easier, and they each step off their ride and calmly make their way behind the partition that hides them from view from the sight of the patrons on the escalator, and that’s when Genji takes off, pulling Jesse with him.

And they begin their flight.

It’s a rush that makes Jesse nostalgic of the times they would come here after school, hidden away from their families and causing trouble wherever they could make it. It’s a good thing for them that it’s still in the early afternoon, because the store is mostly empty of customers -- that way there’s the minimal amount of resistance when they rush past clothes racks and glaring little old ladies with the words “worthless hooligans” on their tongues.

Genji jerks them off the main path and into an aisle lined with television sets, slowing down immensely and weaving farther and farther into the bowels of home appliance shopping. Jesse’s grateful that they’re slowing down, as his lungs were starting to tighten uncomfortably at the burst of sudden exercise. He makes a mental note to cut back on his smoking as he puffs.

Genji grins back at him. Jesse feels better about himself when even Genji appears a little winded from their excursion, face flushed a pale and pretty pink. “Think we lost her?” Jesse, still fighting for breath, just shrugs and Genji laughs a little. “I hope so, I really don’t want to waste any more of our time avoiding her.”

“Let’s just -- stay here for a minute.” Jesse forces out, and Genji’s grin grows wider but he doesn’t argue, nodding. They finally pull to a stop in a corner near the back of the area they were in, near an emergency exit. People must not come to this part of the store very often, as one of the fluorescent lights above them flicker like it needs to be fixed, and there even seems to be dust on top of the boxes of appliances. Jesse can’t even tell what half of them do from the displays.

Genji takes his hand away out of their tight-knuckled grip on one another to root through his bag from Victoria’s Secret, and seeing everything in place, he drops the bag down to rest on the floor at his side and returns both of Jesse’s hands into his own. “You still gonna try some nice shirts on for me?”

Jesse smiles unconvincingly. “What if I told you I already knew my size?”

Genji looks unimpressed. “When was the last time you bought a new dress shirt to wear for a fancy get together?” Jesse thinks for a moment, but he’s not fast enough and Genji shakes his head. “If you have to think about it, it’s been too long.”

With a roll of his eyes, Jesse opens his mouth to reply, but something in Genji’s expression changes and he slaps a hand over Jesse’s mouth. That’s when Jesse hears the footsteps. The clicking of heels, growing closer and closer to their location.

Genji swears under his breath in Japanese, formulating a plan in his head before he snaps his head in Jesse’s direction, a decision clear in his eyes.

“I’m going to kiss you, Jesse.”

And before he can argue, Jesse is being kissed by his best friend.

It’s not at all how he thought their first kiss would go. He imagined it would have been for one of their fake date photoshoots, a gentle meeting of the lips that would last for just a second, and then it would be over. This is anything but -- it’s messy and rough and their teeth clack together when their mouths meet, the two of the tumbling into the wall at Jesse's back, but Genji recovers instantly and readjusts Jesse’s head with a gentle hand at the back of his neck to make things more comfortable for them both.

Jesse’s brain goes blank. Kissing Genji feels so nice, he very nearly forgets he needs to _act_ like he’s enjoying this, so he reaches out and places both of his hands on Genji’s hips to pull him closer to him. Genji makes a startled sound into Jesse’s mouth when he’s dragged forward before he realizes what Jesse’s doing, and Jesse can _feel_ him smile before he wraps his arms around his neck.

“You’ve _got_ to be kidding me.”

Genji jerks his mouth away at the sound of the voice, blinking a sort of haze from his eyes as they dart down to meet the furious gaze of the Ex they’ve been running away from. The Ex looks frustrated all to hell, her hands in fists at her sides, and her glare changes between Jesse and Genji like he can’t decide who she’s mad at more. Finally she snorts in distaste and turns on her heel.

“Waste of my time,” she mutters as he walks away, and before long Genji and Jesse are standing by themselves, wrapped around each other with a bunch of dusty boxes. Jesse is slow to realize how their hips are pressed together and steps away quickly when it finally clicks, blushing hot enough to take his hat from his head to hide his face and try to cool down.

“Sorry, did she just think stalking us the whole way up here was a good way to spend her time?” Genji asks, oblivious to the hurried way Jesse stepped away from him. He makes a disgusted sound. “God, I’m glad that’s over and done with.”

Jesse tries to find his words, lips tingling and stomach doing flips. “Who -- what --” he tries unsuccessfully to express what he’s feeling to no avail. He has no idea _why_ he’s so jumpy all the sudden -- he was comfortable in knowing about all the PDA that went into making this relationship appear as real as it needed to be, and kissing Genji was something he knew he was going to need to do eventually. Now that it’s happened though, he feels? Giddy? Embarrassed? He really isn’t sure.

Genji finally notices his emotional predicament and tries to hide a laugh underneath a cough, but Jesse catches it.

“Are you okay?” Genji asks, sounding very amused; and it’s how casual the question sounds that strikes a nerve in Jesse’s chest. He lowers his hat enough so only his eyes are visible, glaring over the brim of his hat at his green-haired friend. Genji’s grin widens. “What, I warned you before I did it, didn’t I?”

“What exactly was your plan this time?” is all Jesse can really respond with without screaming, and Genji crosses his arms.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said -- about her not knowing we’re supposed to be dating. She probably thought that we were just hanging out together since she knew we were friends back while _she_ and I tried dating so?” Genji shrugs. “I figured that if I kissed you, she’d get a clearer picture. It worked, so what’s the problem?”

Jesse sighs, runs a hand through his hair again, and replaces his hat. This fake relationship was going to kill him before the year was out. “No problem, sweetheart. Just caught me off guard. You know I have no idea what goes on in that head of yours.”

Genji snickers, looping his arms around Jesse’s waist. “If it means anything, you’re a pretty good kisser. You definitely did _much_ better than I thought you were going to. In fact, we are definitely doing that again. That was awesome.” Jesse just rolls his eyes as he looks up at the ceiling.

“You know I’ve kissed more people that just you, right? It ain’t like you were my first kiss or nothin’.” Genji waves a dismissive hand.

“Still, you’re still just an amateur when compared to someone like me,” he says smugly. “Don’t worry though, you’ll have plenty of time to practice in the next few months.”

Jesse isn’t looking forward to it if he has to experience the strange cocktail of emotions he felt earlier when kissing Genji for the first time. His lips still haven’t stopped tingling -- he’s afraid of what that might mean. He forces himself to stop thinking about it, and instead lets Genji lead them onward to wherever the next part of their date would lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> news on the updating schedule! i have to change the schedule from updating once a week to updating once every two weeks. i have some drama going on that's going to eating up my time, and i haven't been able to write much more of this in the past few weeks due to the holidays, and i want to make sure i can keep updating on time for all of you. i'm going to try to make my chapters longer to help with the longer wait, but i can't make any promises :'((
> 
> that aside, thank you so much for your continued support!! i appreciate each and every kudos, comment, bookmark, and follower. you are all so kind!! you can find me on my [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) and at my [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch) if your interested, and until next time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s staring down at the same invitation he’s received for the past three years, half dressed for work and seated on his couch. The occasion for the card? Angela Ziegler’s big, annual Halloween party. Jesse’s never been able to go due to issues planning around work, and this year is no exception. The date printed in Angela’s nearly illegible handwriting is clear as day.
> 
> "Friday, October 31st."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100+ kudos?!?!? holy shit guys thank you so much!! yall are too kind and im so happy that this silly fic has caught all of your attention <33
> 
> here's a quick update before i have to go out for today, any mistakes i see i'll fix when i get home -- i was just too excited to get this out!! this is one of my most favorite parts i've written so far and i've been waiting to share it with you. please enjoy!!

_“We have to coordinate our costumes, Jesse. New couples_ always _coordinate.”_

Jesse’s glad Genji’s voice is coming through the other end of the phone line instead of from across from him, only because he doesn’t have to see how deeply Jesse frowns in response. He’s staring down at the same invitation he’s received for the past three years, half dressed for work and seated on his couch. The occasion for the card? Angela Ziegler’s big, annual Halloween party. Jesse’s never been able to go due to issues planning around work, and this year is no exception. The date printed in Angela’s nearly illegible handwriting is clear as day.

_Friday, October 31st._

Genji instantly called him the moment he pulled his invitation out of his pile of mail, demanding that Jesse take off so this could be the year he would finally make it -- and they could arrive there together to keep up their apparent relationship. Jesse was hesitant. Not because he didn’t want to go or that he wasn’t a fan of the holiday (Gabriel would have disowned him _years_ ago if that were the case.) He was already applying for a new job close by at an auto shop, so he was cutting back his hours at the bar as it was.

No, the real reason he’s so hesitant to accept Genji’s proposition is because he’s still grappling with a strange batch of emotions that came along with having to keep up their fake relationship.

Ever since their date at the mall -- ever since that damn _kiss_ \-- Jesse’s been feeling more skittish around his best friend than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He’d be lying if he said he hated the kiss; in fact, it’s hard for him to admit that he actually enjoyed it more than he should have. He knows _damn_ well he shouldn’t be feeling that way about his best friend. He keeps thinking about how Genji trusted that things wouldn’t get weird between the two of them if they decided to do this -- that they’d remain friends first and foremost. Was it a bad thing that Jesse liked kissing his best friend? Was that making things too complicated?

Jesse apparently takes too long to answer and Genji’s voice pulls him back to attention. _“Hello? You still there, cowboy?”_

Jesse breaths out a silent sigh from his nose as he rubs tiredly at his eyes. He’s overthinking things. He was still fine with keeping this relationship up. Kissing Genji just made him confused rather than uncomfortable, so it didn’t change things at all between them.

(At least, not immediately.)

“Yeah, sugarplum, I’m still here,” he says finally. “What were you thinking about going as?”

_“Alright, stop that.”_

The tone of Genji’s voice makes Jesse cold. “Pardon?”

 _“You know I want your input here too, right? As much as I love it being all about me, your feedback is important too.”_ Jesse can hear the smile in Genji’s voice. _“You are going to pick what you’re going to go as, and I’ll figure something out that goes with it. Alright?”_

“I guess so...” Jesse trails off, voice unsure, and he falls silent for a few moments while he thinks. Then, it hits him. “Genji.” There’s a hum on the other end of the line. “What would you do if I came as a monster hunter?”

Of course, he was talking about Van Helsing, but he’s not entirely sure if his friend would understand from the name alone. Genji agrees instantaneously -- and their plan for the rest of the month is set in motion. Genji reassures Jesse he has a costume idea that would be perfect to pair up with, but he won’t tell him what that thing was. No matter how much Jesse asks when they talk in the weeks leading up to Halloween, Genji would just wink and change the subject.

All of this leads to Jesse stepping out of his truck in front of Shimada Manor on Halloween night, long trench coat nearly sweeping the pavement when his feet touch the ground. He’s pretty happy with how his costume turned out since he got most of the stuff from thrift stores here and there, but he still can't help but feel it’s a far cry from what Gabriel could do with a few scraps of fabric and a sewing machine.

He makes his way up the winding walkway up to the door, and presses the doorbell while he waits for Genji to let him in. Due to the stress that’s impounded upon the Shimada family of business caused by Sojiro’s terminal diagnosis, he and Genji have been finding it harder and harder to line up their schedules to plan dates and keep up their act. Genji’s been continuing with the Instagram posts, but it’s all been photos from previous dates already long past. Tonight was going to be the first time they’ve been together in weeks.

He’s oddly excited to finally see Genji in person again rather than just hearing him through the phone, and he fidgets with the brim of his hat as he waits for the door to open up. He takes a moment to peek around the rich neighborhood he has so often visited in the few months. All of the trick-or-treaters are gone by now, the only people out and about simply stragglers and teenage hooligans as the time reaches closer to nine o’clock.

Angela told people to start arriving after then for her party, so they were still on time.

The door opens and Jesse’s startled when he’s greeted not by Genji’s smiling face, but the pale skinned, sharp toothed grin of a hooded monster. Luckily enough, he realizes a moment later, that the face is only a mask, and the mask belongs to his best friend.

Jesse shakes off his initial fright and whistles lowly, tipping his hat back. “Mighty fine costume there, sweetheart. I’m impressed.”

Genji pulls the mask to the side of his face so his smile is visible. He’s painted red marks on his skin under his eyes and over his eyebrows to accent the overall demon look, and Jesse has to admit he looks good. He gives Jesse a look over, pursing his lips as they quirk into a smile. “I could say the same for you. I like the coat.” He gestures for Jesse to come in to escape the chilly air of fall, and once he shuts the door he turns to face Jesse again. “Hanzo’s coming too -- he just had to finish up some paperwork. He said he’ll only be a minute.”

Jesse’s first instinct is to object, as he knew Hanzo was not a fan of parties unless he got to talk about work and drink expensive wines, but before he can get a word in, Genji surprises him when he cups both of Jesse’s cheeks with a pair of gloved hands and presses a long, chaste kiss to his lips.

It’s a sweet second before Jesse panics. Fake relationship or not, he doesn’t want to be caught doing this in front of Sojiro. He’s about to break apart, but then he remembers he’s been dreaming about kissing Genji again for _weeks_ and thinks _“fuck it”_ before he’s kissing back.

It’s just as nice as it was the first time, Genji slow and careful as he kisses him while Jesse just throws all caution to the wind, putting his hands on Genji’s hips. They stay like that for a moment or two, but they’re interrupted by a groan.

“You know there’s no one around you need to fool, right?”

 _Hanzo_. Jesse breaks away hurriedly, blushing furiously, but Genji stays right where he is, hands sliding down to lay on Jesse’s shoulders. He looks annoyed when he looks his brother’s way.

“Tell that to the security cameras I know our cousin likes to go through,” he retorts, and Hanzo just rolls his eyes as he makes it down the final steps. He isn’t in a costume. Genji sighs. “You know it’s a costume party, right?”

Hanzo folds his arms across his chest. “It’s not required to wear a costume to a costume party, it’s just a suggestion. I don’t have to wear one.”

Genji and Jesse exchange a look before they pull apart from being tangled together. It’s obvious Hanzo’s never been to one of Angela’s Halloween parties if he thinks he can get away with not wearing a costume. Even though the last one he’d been to was the whole way back during high school, Jesse knows that rule _very_ well -- Angela burned it into his memory.

Genji tries talking some sense into his brother.

“You obviously don’t know Angela very well, Brother,” he says lightly. “Come on, I can help you throw something together in no time.” He reaches out to grab Hanzo by the shoulder, but Hanzo dodges out of his way. He frowns.

“I’m nearly thirty, Genji. I don’t need to dress up for Halloween anymore.”

Genji blinks. “You _cannot_ be serious right now.”

Even Jesse finds Hanzo’s attitude a bit ridiculous. “Hanzo, hon, my uncle dresses up every single year and he’s in his late sixties.” He smiles weakly. “Can’t you just humor us for a night?” Hanzo just gives him an unimpressed look in return.

“I already put up with you both far more than I need to,” he retorts cooly. “Why is it such a big deal that I dress up for a Halloween party?”

“Because this is Angela Ziegler’s party and she’s the Scream Queen of Halloween. She starts planning this party every year in _July_ . She’ll _destroy_ you if you show up in…” Genji trails off while he looks up and down at Hanzo’s clothes, which Jesse has to admit are bizarre, even for him. Genji gives up and just gestures to them. “... whatever it is you’re wearing.”

Hanzo’s cheeks turn pink at the vaguely insulting description of his clothes, chin ducking down into the wide brimmed collar of his jacket. “I’ll ignore that,” he mutters before he stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Even if I wanted to, Genji, I have nothing to wear that could be considered a costume. Let’s just go before we’re late.”

Genji is already shaking his head with a smile on his face before Hanzo’s even done with his objection. “That’s not true, my _stupidly_ stubborn older brother. Here, come with me,” he says waving his hand out to lead his brother upstairs. Hanzo frowns, but begins to follow after when Genji starts to climb the steps. Genji peeks over his shoulder, shooting a playful grin.

“You can come up if you want. It’ll take about ten minutes to grab everything.”

Jesse shakes his head. He’s not particularly interested in seeing Genji and Hanzo play dress up, even if he is curious to see what Genji has prepared in such a short amount of time. “I’ll just wait outside for ya,” he states. “Have a smoke before we head out.”

Genji shrugs. “Suit yourself. We’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Jesse nods and exits the Manor to get to his car just so he doesn’t have to smoke so close to the house. Once he’s leaning on the hood of his truck, he shifts through his pockets for a cigarette and his lighter.

He frowns. He really wasn’t expecting Hanzo to want to come with them. Things around Shimada Manor have been… stressful since the announcement that Sojiro’s illness had taken a terminal route. Hanzo’s been up to his head in paperwork dealing with their father’s business he and Genji was both meant to inherit, so the fact Genji convinced him to take a break from it all for a night seems like an incredible feat.

With a drag of his cigarette, Jesse lifts his head to watch the smoke pour from his lips and curl away from his face. While on the subject of Genji’s older brother, he’s also surprised at how well Hanzo seemed to be taking the news of their father’s limited time left on Earth. He knows that Hanzo’s not really one to express his emotions outwardly, so he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but he also seemed too wrapped up in business work to properly grieve. Jesse hopes that he’s not bottling it up -- he doesn’t want Genji to be the bystander to take the brunt of the emotions when he explodes.

Jesse sees the door to the front of the house open, Genji and Hanzo stepping out from the inside. They both seem to be wearing the same kind of kimono now, but while Genji’s is black, Hanzo’s is white -- he squints but Jesse is too far away to see any other details clearly. Genji waves from the door to show they were ready to go, so Jesse puts out the rest of his cigarette under his boot before making his way to the driver’s side of his truck.

Genji takes the passenger’s side of the truck while Hanzo takes the left side of the backseat, behind Jesse. Now that he’s closer, Jesse can see what Genji has actually done to make a costume for him. His long hair is tied back in a loose ponytail, and his face is painted with the same markings that Genji has adorned his own cheeks with. Now thanks to Genji’s quick thinking, both Shimada brothers are now demons.

“Thank you for waiting,” Genji says as he buckles his seatbelt. Jesse grins.

“I wasn’t going to leave without you,” he snorts as he starts the car. He peeks into the rearview mirror again to meet Hanzo’s gaze. “You look good, Hanzo.”

Hanzo crosses his arms. “Don’t tell me that when you’re supposed to be dating my brother,” he replies curtly, but he looks pleased at the comment. He turns his attention back on Genji and says something in Japanese Jesse can’t understand a lick of, to which Genji rolls his eyes at.

“We’re not going to ruin them,” he laughs, twisting around to look over the backseat. “I told Father we were going to be wearing them, and he was fine with the idea. Just relax for a single evening for _once_ before you have to start working again.”

Jesse smiles wryly to himself as Hanzo just huffs and looks out the window without another word, and turns onto the route for Angela’s home. Genji fiddles with the radio so he can find a station he likes, and when he finally does he settles down and pulls out his phone to message their host to tell her they were on their way. He snaps a few selfies and pictures of his brother in the back seat, who almost seems to be _sulking_ , but Jesse doesn’t _dare_ break the easy atmosphere they managed to create by bringing it up, hoping they can keep it quiet until they get to the party.

When Jesse is pulling onto the highway, Genji groans, face illuminated by the bright light of his phone screen. “Shit, Zenyatta can’t make it.”

“You invited Tekhartha?” Hanzo hums, interest peaked. “I didn’t really think parties were really his thing.”

Jesse can’t help but agree. He’s only met Genji’s close friend a handful of times, but when he tries to think of Zenyatta at one of Angela’s Halloween parties… he shakes his head. “I can’t see it, darlin’. Especially not one of Angela’s parties,” he echos.

Genji huffs out an annoyed sigh, not looking up from his phone as he taps out a reply. “Neither of you know him like I do, so I can tell you you’re both wrong. He was excited about coming, but his brother needed help with something so he had to cancel last minute.” He snorts. “Just because he’s quiet doesn’t mean he doesn’t like a good party.”

Jesse exchanges a quick look with Hanzo before he returns his eyes on the road and lets out a laugh. “If you say so, sugar. I’ll take your word for it.”

“He was going to come in costume too, so he’s more fun than Hanzo,” Genji retorts under his breath, and Jesse can’t help but burst into laughter when he hears it. Hanzo mutters something in return that Jesse can’t make out, but Genji gasps scandalously and instantly whips around to start firing back something Jesse can’t understand thanks to their language barrier -- and there goes that easygoing atmosphere Jesse was hoping to keep. He sighs as Genji and Hanzo continue to bicker in their mother tongue across the car, just keeping his eyes on the road. The drive works for a little bit, but then Jesse realizes Genji’s the only one who’s actually been to Angela’s house, so he was his source of directions.

“Baby, can you quiet down for a moment to tell me where my exit is?” he asks finally when he cracks, and Genji breaks away from their argument to look at him. When he sees Jesse’s already near-exhausted expression, the fight in him seems to melt away into a strange mix of embarrassment and concern, so he averts his eyes to look at around their surroundings. Once he grasps where they are, he points to a road sign above their lane.

“Sorry. Next exit.”

Hanzo speaks up from the back. “Y-Yes, my apologies.”

Jesse turns for the exit as he laughs under his breath. He’s not offended in the slightest, he’s just glad the two of them have seemed to learn how to restrain themselves. “Y’all are just a nightmare once you get started. At least wait ‘till we get to Angie’s before you tear each other apart -- that way I won’t get caught in the crossfire.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen to you,” Genji scoffs, reaching over and placing his hand on top of the hand Jesse has rested on the stickshift. He smiles mischievously. “Besides, you’d be much better suited for my army than as a human shield. If you died before I recruited you, it’d be such a waste.”

Hanzo snorts in the backseat. “You think he’d join _your_ side? Funny.”

“Honey, I wouldn’t pick _either_ side until you both state your cases in a calm and non-lethal manner,” Jesse replies, to which Hanzo and Genji both crack smiles.

“That’s fair,” Hanzo agrees, and Genji snickers.

“Too bad I have an advantage in my court case,” he reveals with a seductive grin, and Jesse swallows as that twinge in his chest resurfaces. He doesn’t let it show, beating it back down to where he had it buried, and he raises an eyebrow as he smirks.

“Oh really? And what would that be, sweetheart?”

“I’m not above seducing the judge to throw the decision in my favor,” he says simply, lips quirking up in a smile. Jesse can’t help when his eyes are drawn to the motion, his heart leaping into his throat -- and that’s when Hanzo groans.

 _“Stop,”_ he grumbles, and Jesse forces a laugh that sounds a little too tight in his ears while he focuses back on the road. He forces himself to think about literally _anything_ else, and it’s easy when Hanzo continues. “I do not want to hear about anything like that when I am in the car with you, thank you very much.”

Jesse knows they’re getting close to their destination when Genji points him in the direction of another street to turn onto before another back road that seems to be taking them to a neighborhood. He turns back to his brother with a grin. “You’re just mad I have an unfair advantage when it comes to Jesse picking sides in our arguments.”

There’s a sarcastic laugh from the backseat. “Yes, I am _so_ jealous that your friend would agree to lie to your entire family about dating one another. That is a _goal._ ”

Jesse feels a little uncomfortable at that callout, afraid it’ll start a whole new argument they should really save for another time and not when they’re about to be going to a party, but Genji doesn’t look phased at all. He purses his lips, raising an eyebrow.

“ _You_ have lied to the rest of the family about things too, so you can’t start with that again,” he huffs. “Besides, our friendship hasn’t suffered since we started doing this. In fact, I trust Jesse more than ever now.”

Heat rises on Jesse’s face, half guilt since he’s been questioning his feelings towards his friend over the past month, but the other half remains charmed. “Aw, sugarplum, you don’t need to flatter me--”

Genji faces him, brushing his mask away from his face when it starts to fall in front of his eyes. “I’m being serious, Jesse. There are few people in this world I trust as wholly as I trust you, and those people are my father, my brother, Zenyatta, and Angela.”

It’s a lot to take in. Jesse is momentarily overwhelmed by the sincerity on Genji’s face and tone, words clogged up in his throat and blocked by some emotion that Jesse feels he’s not ready to face, but after another second the silence is shattered when Genji looks back at the road and points at a house. “Oh, that’s her house! We’re here!”

Jesse blinks and then pulls himself out of autopilot, seeing the house that Genji is pointing to -- and sure enough, he can believe that it’s Angela Ziegler’s home. It’s decorated extensively; orange, purple, and green stringed lights edged around windows and the roof and _everywhere_ else someone could think to put them. There’s a skeleton hanging from the tree growing in her front yard made from old plastic containers, and a row of impressively carved pumpkins line the walkway to the front door.

Jesse can’t help but think that Angela could give Gabriel a run for his money when it came to loving Halloween. Beside him, Genji is nearly _vibrating_ in excitement.

“This... is definitely Angie’s house,” he states, words hard to form, staring a moment longer before realizing he has to find a place to park, as the driveway and curb outside her house are packed with cars. Luckily enough, there’s one place _just_ big enough for his truck at the end of the block, and just a he’s pulling to a stop Hanzo speaks up.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea for me,” he says, failing to hide his nervousness. “Parties like this aren’t really my strong-suit. I haven’t seen any of these people in years -- maybe I should just stay here and wait for you two to finish up.”

Once again, Jesse and Genji are sharing a look over something Hanzo has said before Genji turns back to his brother.

“We’ll be in there for _hours_ , Brother,” he says, trying to sound gentle. “You’ll already know most of these people -- and Angela is always courteous to her guests. If you want to leave early and we’re not done, she can take you somewhere where you can sit by yourself so you don’t have to interact with anyone else.”

Hanzo doesn’t look convinced.

“Tell ya what,” Jesse offers then, and the eldest Shimada turns his attention back to him. “If you want to leave early, Genji can stay here and I’ll drive you back home. I’ll drive back to get him afterwards, it’s not a big deal.”

Hanzo’s frown seems to grow. “I don’t want to impose…”

Jesse shakes his head. “I’ve got work tomorrow, so I’m not gonna be doin’ much drinking. Besides, I’ve got to drive you two home anyway, and it’s not a long trip.”

“Please, Hanzo?” Genji pleads. “It’ll be okay.”

After another moment of hesitation, Hanzo sighs before he allows himself a small nod. “Very well. Let’s go then.”

Genji cheers before unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping out of the truck, and Jesse shoots Hanzo a grateful smile before stepping out himself. The air’s gotten colder outside since they’ve been in the car; Jesse can see his breath in faint puffs when he exhales.

He joins the Shimada’s on the other side of his truck before they make their way up to the Ziegler household. Genji leads the way since he’s visited the house before, walking confidently in front of all three of them, and when they turn up the pathway leading up to the door he points out a few of the carved pumpkins.

“I helped with a few of these,” he says, moving his mask out of the way so he can be heard properly. “Angela’s are better since she’s more precise with her knife, but mine are still decent.” It’s obvious which ones are Genji’s and which one’s aren’t -- the carved lines are shaky and a bit jagged on only some of them.

After appreciating the work that went into carving all dozen of the pumpkins, they reach the door and Genji presses the doorbell, grinning in Jesse’s direction before replacing his mask and linking their arms. A moment later and a particular blonde is opening the door, smiling from ear to ear when she sees who’s waiting on the other side. Fog pools from inside the house and down around their ankles.

“It’s so good to see you!” Angela celebrates, giving Genji a huge hug before she turns to both Jesse and Hanzo. “I’m so glad you two could make it as well.”

“Trick or treat, ma’am,” Jesse says, tipping his hat, and Angela laughs brightly. She’s wearing an elaborate witch costume that reaches Gabriel’s level of dedication, a big wide-brimmed black hat sitting on top of her golden hair, and along with her dress she has an incredibly detailed prop book hanging off her hip. She gives him a tight hug, pursing her lips knowingly when she pulls away.

“You’ve still been smoking, haven’t you?” she accuses, and Jesse just rubs the back of his neck. She tuts her tongue with a shake of the head. “That’s a dirty habit. I won’t have you doing that in my house.”

“No worries, Ange, I wasn’t going to,” he promises. She makes sure to give him a hard staredown as she turns to Hanzo and gives him a smile.

“I appreciate you coming tonight even though you have so much work to do.” She opens her arms for a hug, to which Hanzo accepts a little awkwardly, but he still looks grateful for the welcome. “Come on in, all of you,” she says eagerly once she steps away, and they file in after her. The party is already going strong, music coming from another room, but friends are all scattered throughout the house.

Jesse sees a familiar face among the faces in the crowd, so he excuses himself from the Shimadas and their host to seek them out. “Fareeha?” he calls, and sure enough, the Amari girl turns her head from where she’s seated on the couch and her face lights up as she stands to greet him. Her costume is a simple one: a roughed up hockey player. She has fake stitches on her cheek and she’s made it look like she has a black eye with makeup. She hugs him tightly, patting his back.

“I didn’t think you were coming! You _never_  can,” she says, grinning widely. She peeks over his shoulder to look at Genji when Jesse gestures to him.

“He kinda forced me to come,” he laughs, and Fareeha pulls away from their hug to give him a wry smile.

“Yeah, I’m sure Genji _forced_ you,” she teases, and Jesse thinks _"two can play that game"_ before raising an eyebrow.

“Just as I’m sure you didn’t just come to this party for a certain someone,” he shoots right back, and Fareeha blushes but rolls her eyes. Genji slinks up to his side, tangling their fingers together just as Fareeha snorts.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Fareeha!” Angela makes her way over to the both of them and smiles sheepishly at her friend, her cellphone at her ear. “Can you do me a favor and show these three where everything is? My parents are calling me and I can’t miss them.”

Fareeha nods, smiling warmly and she is _such_ a fool if she think it isn’t completely obvious she’s heads over heels. “Of course, Angela. You go on ahead, I’ll take care of them for you.” Angela whispers in thanks before she heads for the front door, and Fareeha sighs as she leaves. Jesse grins smugly and Fareeha glares when she comes to her senses. “Not a word, cowboy,” she warns, and Jesse respectfully doesn’t say anything. He turns back to Genji and holds up their hands.

“This is my boyfriend: Genji,” he introduces, and Fareeha nods hesitantly with an amused expression.

“Yes, I know. I’ve met him before,” she snarks, but she still smiles in Genji’s direction. “I have massive respect for you since you’re dating this nerd. It’s good to see you.”

Genji grins, leaning comfortably into Jesse’s side as he pull his hand back to put an arm around Jesse’s waist. “How has soccer been treating you?” he asks, to which Fareeha shrugs.

“We’ve had a good season but we didn’t make it to the playoffs. It’s… eh. We’ll get them next year.” Her expression softens, her voice turning somber. “How’s your father doing?”

Genji’s grip on Jesse’s waist tightens, his smile becoming fragile. “He’s doing fine. He’s been better, but. Yeah. He’s fine.” Jesse feels the urge to press a kiss to Genji’s head when his tone comes out clipped, and luckily Fareeha notices the energy change around them. She shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be asking that here. This is a party after all!” She motions for Hanzo to come away from the door, since he’s still standing there looking a little lost, and starts heading to another room. “Come on, let me show you where everything is,” she says as she leads on, the rest of them following after.

The source of the music is someone who looks around Sombra’s age sitting between two speakers and behind a laptop. He’s wearing a green and yellow t-shirt with _“this is my halloween costume”_ on it and he’s typing enthusiastically, headphones hanging over one of his ears. Surprisingly, next to him is another familiar face: Hana Song.

“Hana’s friend Lúcio is our DJ tonight,” Fareeha says loud enough to be heard over the music. Hana hears her name and peeks her head up, waving when she catches sight of them. With a playful nudge into her friend’s ribs, she get Lúcio’s attention and says something before they both stand and move away from the table to greet them.

“Hi, Jesse,” she says, snapping her gum as she puts a hand on her hip as Lúcio strikes up a conversation with Fareeha and Hanzo. Hana’s dressed like a cop for Halloween, her hair done up in a tight bun, and something about it just makes Jesse nervous. He isn’t sure why. “Don’t tell our dads that Liv and I are here, alright? I’m supposed to be studying, but there is no way I was going to miss the Ziegler Halloween party.”

So Sombra was here too? That didn’t surprise Jesse at all -- after all, Sombra inherited their father’s love of Halloween, and he could believe she’d catch a ride for three hours just to come. Jesse mimics locking his mouth with a key before throwing it over his shoulder. “I won’t say a word. Just stay smart, Hana,” he requests with a smile. “Don’t do anything I would do.”

She grins. “Aw, but that’s the all the fun stuff.” She does a quick look over Genji before she focuses back on Jesse, a thin eyebrow raised. She blows a bubble and pops it. “So are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend or not?”

Jesse presses his lips in a hard line as he flushes at the impatience in her tone, Genji snickering beside him. “But you already know him.”

Hana doesn’t seem to care. “So? Introduce me again. Here, I’ll start.” She clears her throat and pulls Lúcio away from his conversation with Fareeha and Hanzo so Jesse can meet him. “Jesse, this is my friend Lúcio Correia dos Santos. He’s a music major at my university and we’re both kind of famous on the internet.”

Lúcio doesn’t at all look bothered he was pulled away and grants them both a bright smile that makes Jesse feel like he’s staring at the sun. “Nice to meet ya! I’m glad I got to finally meet you both -- Hana talks about you guys a lot.”

“She does?” Jesse wonders aloud, and Hana just shrugs the question off, blowing another bubble.

“Okay, now you do it,” she says instead when it pops, sporting a grin, and Jesse just sighs while he gestures to Genji with the arm that’s not wrapped around his friend’s shoulder.

“Hana, Lúcio; this is my boyfriend Genji Shimada. He’s been my best friend since I was fifteen and, uh, arranges bouquets for a living,” he says awkwardly, and Genji laughs at the half-hearted attempt at an introduction, shaking his head.

“You forgot about the corsages and boutonnieres too, Jesse,” he jabs before doing a little head bow to both young adults in front of him. “It’s good to meet you Lúcio -- and you _again_ , Hana.”

Lúcio grins and gestures to himself. “If either of you have any requests, just hit me up! I’ll be doing the music all night, so just let me know if you want to hear something special. I’ll play anything short of Hasselhoff.” He takes a nervous glance back at his laptop, like he’s expecting someone to be there, and turns back with an apologetic smile. “I should get back to my set-up before Sombra tries to get into it again. It was nice to meet you!” He waves and sets off for his chair, and Hana winks before following after her friend.

“Thank you for covering for me, Jesse! Good luck with your boyfriend tonight!”

Hanzo snorts out an incredulous laugh that neither Jesse or Genji miss, and Genji takes a jab at his stomach. Fareeha ignores them and gestures for them to follow again.

“C’mon, I’ll show you where the food and drinks are,” she says, and they follow, Genji and Hanzo continuing to take swipes at each other that Jesse only stops when he plants himself between them. They make their way into the kitchen, where a large spread of food and snacks are laid out. There’s a few people crowded around the table that Jesse doesn’t recognize, but Fareeha still waves to them when they pass. “Food is here, Angela said you can use the microwave as long a you don’t break it.” Past the table is a small kitchen counter where two women are sitting, one very tall and thin with red hair and the other shorter with blue. Jesse only recognizes one of them.

Fareeha grimaces when she sees the one with red hair, but she quickly swallows it. “And this is where you get your drinks,” she says, and one of the women catch her eye. It’s the one with red hair: she smiles and it makes her look quite frightening.

“Ah, are these more of Angela’s friends, Amari?” she asks in a very Irish accent, and Jesse’s known Fareeha long enough to recognize the tightness in her jaw when she answers.

“Yes. This is Jesse McCree, and Genji and Hanzo Shimada.”

The woman with dark blue hair turns to face them and even though Jesse has trouble remembering her name, he remembers she was Angela’s roommate back when she was in pre-med. Thankfully, Genji perks up and says, “Amélie! It’s good to see you!”

That’s right, it was Amélie Lacroix. She had gotten married to her highschool sweetheart right after she had graduated college and moved back to France for a little while -- Jesse’s only seen her in pictures. Amélie smiles in an almost sleepy manner, sipping at a large glass of red wine hanging between her thin fingers.

“ _Bonjour_ , Shimada. I’m not surprised to see you here.” She gestures to the red-headed woman sitting next to her. “This is Moira O’Deorain -- I assume you’ve never met before.”

“No, we haven’t,” Genji agrees. Moira smiles.

“A pleasure,” she says. Jesse feels like for Fareeha, it isn’t one. She doesn’t even bother putting on a smile before she ducks her head.

“Now that you’re settled, I have to go see if Angela needs anything,” she mutters, backing away. “I’ll see you later, Jesse.”

He doesn’t even have a chance to say goodbye before she’s already disappeared into the rest of the party, and he frowns but turns back to Moira and Amélie. He’s not sure what happened between this woman and Fareeha, but it must have been enough to upset her that she didn’t even want to be around her. He decides to tread carefully during the incoming conversation -- if Fareeha didn’t like this Moira, then he wasn’t going to like her much either.

“So, how do you know Angela?” Genji asks curiously as he makes himself and his brother drinks. Moira takes a sip of her own beverage before she speaks.

“We were lab partners back in Med School,” she explains with a smile. “Even though we differ when it came to our end goals, we still became quite close.” She gestures with a purple-nailed, manicured hand towards the three of them. “What about you? How do you know Miss goody two-shoes Ziegler?”

“I’ve been friends with Angie since high school,” Jesse says, pulling a beer out of a cooler on floor in front of the counter top. “She’s been good to me all these years.”

Moira’s smile turns sly as she drops her chin into her palm. Jesse feels like she’s staring past his skin and into his bones, which makes him incredibly apprehensive. “She gets on your case about your bad habits, doesn’t she? I can tell you’re a smoker.”

Jesse twists the cap off the bottle and snorts. “She means well, I know.”

“It can still get annoying, I understand.” Moira doesn’t seem to want to explain why she knows this and turns her attention on Genji and Hanzo. “And you? I remember her talking about a Shimada, but I don’t remember there being two of them.”

Genji grins as he hands his brother a solo-cup filled with some sort of mixed alcoholic drink. “Angela has been a close friend to me for many years. My brother only came tonight because I needed to get him out of the house.”

Amélie nods slowly. “That’s the only reason I came,” she says, French accent thick enough it’s difficult to understand her. She must be drunk already -- Jesse knows he’s not going to hear much more out of her tonight unless he approaches her.

Hanzo sighs at his brother’s words, but seems like he doesn’t want to fight in front of Moira and Amélie. “I’ve been busy with my work, yes, but I came because Angela has been a trusted friend of my brother’s for a long time. I wanted her to know that.” He takes a sip of his drink and grimaces at the amount of alcohol in it, muttering Japanese at Genji.

Moira nods before her attention is turned back on Jesse. “Do you know that girl who was just with you? I think I must have said something to upset her -- she won’t spare me a second glance.”

Her smile tells Jesse she doesn’t regret saying whatever that must have been, and Jesse feels a spark of protectiveness. “Fareeha’s practically my little sister,” he says, taking a swig of beer. “Our parents are good friends so we were raised close.”

Something passes over Moira’s face before she sighs, waving a hand away. “If you see her again tonight, please tell her I didn’t mean to upset her. I was just answering her question, there was no need for her to storm off.”

Jesse stares. Fareeha doesn’t get upset over just anything. He steels himself and asks, “If you don’t mind me askin’, ma’am, what’d she ask ya?”

Moira fixes him with a look. She has two different colored eyes: green and blue, staring straight into him. “She asked me how I knew Zeigler. I told her the truth: we were lab partners and we used to fool around. I explained it was a long time ago, it shouldn’t affect anything _she_ wanted to say to Angela now.”

So that was it. Moira was an ex-lover and called her crush out. Jesse sighs, head dropping into his hand. “No offense, but you shouldn’t have said that to her. It’s gonna be hard to try to get her to like you at all now.” In other words, Fareeha could hold a mean grudge, and any chance of liking Moira were tossed out the window.

“That’s why I’m asking you to tell her I didn’t mean to upset her, I was just telling her as it is,” Moira replies, but she doesn’t look sorry about it at all. Jesse holds his tongue so he doesn’t spit out any curses at her, and just nods as he looks away.

“I’ll mention it if I see her,” he mutters.

Genji picks up on his discomfort and decides to move them away from this conversation. “Well, it was nice meeting you, but we have some other friends to meet with. Have a nice night,” he says, but Hanzo shakes his head.

“I’m staying here,” he says. “It’s not as loud in here, and there’s some company I can talk to -- just find me here if you find yourself ready to leave.”

Genji looks bewildered at his brother’s decision to stay behind with the two women, but he shakes it off and loops an arm around Jesse’s left. “Suit yourself. Have fun, brother.” They retreat from the kitchen, and it’s not until they’re out of earshot that he leans closer to Jesse. “Are you okay?” he asks, and Jesse nods.

“That woman was… an interesting one,” he decides flatly. “I feel like she said more than just that to Fareeha -- there’s no way she would have stormed off for anything less. I’m worried about her.”

Genji is nodding before Jesse’s even done talking. “I understand what you mean. I felt like she was looking at me under my skin.” He shivers. “Angela always does keep such strange company.”

Jesse fights back a smile. “I could’a told you that, darlin’ -- look at us after all.”

With an incredulous snort, Genji shoves at him. “I think if either one of us is strange, it’s _you_ , cowboy.” They both laugh, but he stops them in the living room off to the side of a throng of people watching a horror movie on the television. He smiles and puts a hand on Jesse’s cheek. “Look, if you want to go look for Fareeha, go ahead. I don’t want you worrying about her all night.” Jesse frowns, reaching up to place his own hand over Genji’s.

“Are you sure, honey? What about you?”

Genji’s mouth quirks up in an amused smile. “I’m going to go find some of Angela’s friends and boast about my superior alcohol tolerance to see if they’ll challenge me to a shots contest. Don’t worry about me -- I’ll find you when you get back.”

Jesse frowns, knowing he’ll worry anyway. “Just be safe,” he murmurs, and before he can stop himself he’s pressing a kiss to Genji’s forehead. When he pulls back he hopes he can play it off as just another part of their act, and for a moment his stomach does a flip when he sees Genji is grinning at him. He flushes harder.

“I’m a professional, baby,” is Genji says, and the knot in Jesse’s gut loosens when he doesn’t say anything about the kiss. Genji says nothing more, and winks before he steps away into the crowd to go find his victim. Jesse watches until he’s out of sight, then takes a deep breath and steels himself.

Now to look for Fareeha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) / [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re falling in love with him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy everyone! i hope all of you are having a good day/night wherever you are, thank you so much for your continued support!! here's the next chapter <3
> 
> im bumping up the rating this chapter just to be safe, but it will most likely be bumped up again later. just a warning!!

Jesse doesn’t see Fareeha in the livingroom, and he knows she won’t be heading into the kitchen as long as Moira is there, so he decides to look elsewhere. He passes through the first floor of the house so see if he can spot her, catching Genji speaking with Angela and a tall, burly woman with pink hair, but he doesn't stay to find out who she is. In another room, he sees Hana again sitting in front of another TV that looks like someone else brought with them -- she's playing some video game with a few other people and _crushing_ it from quick glances at the defeated expressions on their face and the triumphant one on hers.

Jesse frowns when he ends up back in the room where he started with no sign of Fareeha. He figures if she’s not on the first floor, she must be on the second -- and he starts for the stairs, but not before he’s sidetracked when he finally picks a face from the crowd he knows, and he quickly tracks her down before he looses her in it.

“Lena!” A freckled face turns at the sound on her name, blinking big brown eyes to find the source of it, and when she sees Jesse her face lights up. Jesse pushes past a group of people just in time for the smaller girl to leap into his arms.

“Jesse, love! It’s been ages!” she says loudly, kissing both of his cheeks in greeting before hopping down on the floor. The little Brit is wearing a pilot outfit for her costume tonight, and her smile is dazzling as usual. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been great,” he replies, trying to match her cheerfulness as best as he can. “How’s Emily been since the two of you moved over here to the States?”

Lena laughs, and it’s like she drains all the negative emotions he has in him out at the sound. “Aw, she’s been great. Of course she misses the folks, but she likes how sunny it is over here.” Her smile turns cheeky. “And what about you? How’ve things been with Genji?”

Jesse’s hand finds the back of his neck. “They’ve been great. I’ve been really happy with him.” Once again he can't help but think about how he isn’t even lying; he’s genuinely been enjoying how much closer he and Genji have been getting over the past few months thanks to their fake relationship. He remembers why he came over here and clears his throat. “Listen, hon, I hate to cut this reunion short but I’m looking for Fareeha. Have you seen her?”

Lena bobs her head, then points to the stairs. “I saw her head upstairs after checking in with Angela for a tick, but I haven’t seen her since.” Her expression turns worried. “She looked upset, is everything alright?”

Jesse makes a face. “That’s what I’m going to go see. Thanks for the help, pumpkin.”

Lena gives him another big hug. “It was nice seeing you again -- we need to get together sometime! I need to check in with Jack and see how he’s doing.”

When Jesse pulls away, he makes sure to give her a big smile. “Oh, he’s doing great. He finally moved in with Pops and they’re livin’ together now.” Lena’s eyes widen.

“No way! You have to give me their new address so I can drop by, okay?” Jesse nods and she lets him go to find Fareeha. “Keep in touch, love!” She waves until he reaches the steps, and then he ascends.

It’s a lot quieter when he gets to the second floor, a few people here and there talking but no one that Jesse recognizes. He continues onward. There’s a few doors shut he doesn’t dare touch, poking his head into open rooms and not having any luck when it comes to finding Fareeha.

His search is interrupted when two girls stumble out of a room at the end of the hall, giggling drunkenly as they fall into a wall. One is in a vampire costume, with long dark hair and brown skin. The other is wearing a garish shade of neon pinks and purples in what appears to be some futuristic cyberpunk outfit. She brushes her curly purple hair out of her face and Jesse blinks.

It’s Sombra.

He bites down a grin, leaning against the wall. For a few weeks now, Sombra has been talking about a girl in her class that she’s been trying to woo -- from the look of it, it appears she’s succeeded. Jesse doesn’t any anything and just waits for his little sister to notice him. Sure enough, it’s only a few moments before Sombra lifts her head and looks down the hall and the smile falls right off her face, blood rushing to her cheeks.

 _“Hola,_ Liv,” Jesse says cheerfully with a wave, and Sombra is speechless, mouth flapping open and closed for a few seconds before she shakes her head.

“What are you doing here?” she demands, the girl on her arm pulling herself upright and pressing her lips into an embarrassed line as she pulls her arms to her sides, folding her hands in front of her. Jesse crosses his arms.

“Have you seen Fareeha?”

Sombra shakes her head with a glare. “Not since we got here. I’ve been busy.”

Jesse fights a grin, but he pushes himself off the wall to walk past them. “I’m sure you have been. Well, thanks anyway, Liv. Have a nice night.”

 _“If you tell Dad, I’ll kill you!”_ Sombra snaps in Spanish over her shoulder, and Jesse just shoots her an OK sign before taking a right to get to the other end of the hall. She has nothing to worry about since he had already promised Hana to keep his mouth shut. As far as Gabriel knew, she was still in school studying for exams. She had kept her word about keeping his and Genji’s relationship a secret until he told Gabe, he’d keep his.

Once Sombra and her date are out of sight, he focuses back on the task at hand: finding Fareeha. She isn’t in Angela’s study, and she isn’t in the last open guestroom, so Jesse plants his feet in the ground when the last room he’s checked turns up empty, frowning deeply.

He’s about to call her on his phone when he notices a door he passed open just a crack. He frowns a little, but walks up to the door and gives the door frame a little knock. The music isn’t as loud up here, just a soft thrumming beneath his feet, so he can hear a sniff before there’s the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“Who is it?”

Jesse hates the way Fareeha’s voice sounds. “It’s Jesse, hon. Can I come in?”

There’s a moment of silence, then the door opens a few centimeters and Jesse lets himself in the room. It’s Angela’s laundry room, and Fareeha is sitting on the floor with her back against the dryer. Her eyes are a little red and the makeup she put on to make it look like she had the black eye is all rubbed away, her bottom lip raw like she’s been gnawing it. She doesn’t look at him when he pushes the door closed behind him.

“Where’s Genji?” she asks, and the bitterness behind her tone is palpable. Jesse moves to take a seat beside her, back against the washing machine.

“He told me to go look for you after our run in with O’Deorain.” Jesse spreads his legs out and folds his hands in his lap, craning his neck back to look up at the ceiling. “I was worried about you since you just ran off like that without another word.”

“It’s--” Fareeha hisses out a frustrated sigh. “It’s stupid. I’m fine.”

Jesse makes a point to look at her. “Are you really though? You never run from an argument -- you could snap that woman in _half_ if you wanted to.”

Fareeha won’t meet his eyes, staring at the carpet. “This is different Jesse. She made me feel… like she was better than me. Since Angela chose someone like her to date, there was no way I’d be able to date her.” She squares her jaw. “I felt embarrassed, I felt hurt. I just wanted to leave.”

Jesse can’t figure out what he feels more in his chest: fury that Fareeha was made to feel that way or the now _blistering_ hatred for the woman in the kitchen downstairs for making Fareeha feel any less of herself. He frowns -- Fareeha is more important right now. Focus on her. “You know you’re better than Moira, right?”

“I know I’m better than her!” Fareeha counters, squeezing her eyes shut. “I just don’t have any idea what Angela saw in her! If she got together with her, what chance do I have?”

Jesse has heard enough. “Fareeha Amari, look at me.” She lifts her head and returns his gaze. He raises his chin. “You have been crushing on Ange since _high school_ \-- are you just going to let all that go to waste just because some woman you’ve never met before made you feel any less than you actually are?” He softens his tone. “You are so much better than her in every way, hon. Don’t let her make you feel like that.”

There are tears in the corners of her eyes and she quickly hides her face in the crook of her elbow. She laughs. “God, you’re such a nerd. Thanks, Jess. I don’t know why it bothered me so much, I just…” she trails off for a moment, laying her arm back at her side. “I _really_ like Angela. She’s smart and pretty and she’s been so good to me for so long. I know she overworks herself and I want to make sure she’s safe and worries about her own health.” She smiles bashfully at Jesse. “When I found out that you and Genji got together, it gave me the confidence that I’d be able to tell her how I felt! I was going to do it tonight since there was going to be the chance that you’d be here, but then I ran into Moira and… well, you know.” She sighs, covering her face into her hands.

Jesse, however, is speechless. Overwhelmed by the news that Genji and his relationship inspired Fareeha to confess her own crush, he isn’t sure how to really broach the topic at hand. He’s quiet for a few moments before he nods. “You should tell her, Reeha.”

Fareeha winces. “I don’t know, Jesse--”

“No, you should,” he interjects. “I know it might scare you to death, taking a step in that direction with a friend as good as her, but it’ll be worth it in the end. Speakin’ from my own experiences, the last few months have been some of the _best_ in my life. Some of the most stressful too, sure, but I couldn’t imagine doing it without Genji being there at my side.” He smiles despite himself. “I don’t regret a single thing.”

“What if she doesn’t like me back?” she asks, hugging herself around her middle. “What if she gets weirded out and wants to stop our friendship?”

Jesse shakes his head. “Your feelings are important, and Ange knows that. She won’t abandon you if you tell her how you feel.” He places a hand on her shoulder. “Trust me, alright? I know it’s going to be scary, but it’ll make you feel better in the long run.”

Fareeha still seems hesitant, but after another moment of internal deliberation she sighs and grants a smile. “What would I do without you?” she asks, barely above a whisper, and she leans forward to wrap him in a big hug. Jesse rubs her back.

“Without me, you’d be sufferin’ your Gay Crises by yourself -- and that ain’t fun at all,” he jokes, but he doesn’t tell her it’s because he’s speaking from experience. His own speech has made him self-reflective, and he’s not thrilled about what he sees in the mirror.

Fareeha laughs into his shoulder, tightening her hold on him. “Thank you, Jesse.”

Jesse hugs tighter back. “No problem, buttercup.”

They stay like that for a while, music faintly coming up from the first floor as they sit in the laundry room and talk. Fareeha does the most of it, about sports or her mother or anything that really come to mind, and Jesse listens and adds things here and there. Then, after about an hour, there’s a knock at the door. They exchange a look for a moment before Fareeha says, “It’s open” and the door creaks open.

Angela is the one who’s on the other side, opening it hesitantly, but she relaxes when she sees it’s just the two of them sitting on the floor. “Is everything okay?” she asks. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen either of you downstairs.”

Fareeha looks like she isn’t sure how to answer, so Jesse takes over the responsibility. “She got a little overwhelmed with all the people, so we came up here to take a breather. The rest of the rooms were taken.” He grabs his bottle of beer he had nearly forgotten about and takes a sip, and that’s when he remembers his boyfriend. “How’s Genji doing?”

Angela smiles. “He’s doing just fine. He lost a shots contest to Aleksandra Zaryanova, but it was an honorable attempt.”

Jesse bites his cheek. “How drunk is he now?”

Her smile turns strained. “Pretty drunk.”

Jesse slides his eyes shut and he sighs, downing the rest of his beer as he gets to his feet. “I better find him. Thanks for keepin’ an eye on him for me.” He holds out a hand to help Fareeha off the floor, and she takes it. “You stayin’ here, Reeha? Or are you ready to rejoin the party downstairs?”

Angela bites her lip worriedly. “If you’re not feeling well, Fareeha, you don’t have to force yourself. You can go lay down in my room if you want.”

Fareeha flushes at the offer but shakes her head. “I’m feeling better now, Jesse really helped me out up here.” She gives her a soft smile. “Thank you for worrying though.”

Angela returns the smile. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask me, okay?” She turns for the door. “Now let’s head back downstairs before Genji does something unfortunate.”

They shut the door behind them and follow their host back to the first floor, and Jesse instantly sees Genji the moment his feet touch the floor. He’s in the center of a large group of people, wrapped under the arm of the large woman with pink hair from earlier. Even though Genji isn’t considered small by any standards, he _looks_ it when he’s standing next to her. She’s even taller than Jesse is. They’re both laughing, comfortable and easy-going.

For some reason, Jesse tastes the sharp tang of jealousy on his tongue.

“Who is that?” he asks, quelling that feeling in his chest by swallowing before he speaks, and Angela brightens.

“That’s Aleksandra! She goes by Zarya around her friends. Even though she was the one who won the shots contest, she was impressed by Genji’s tenacity, so they became fast friends.” She seems to catch some sort of negativity in Jesse’s tone, because she raises an eyebrow and quickly adds, “Don’t worry, she’s not going to steal him away. She has a girlfriend.”

Jesse splutters. “I ain’t -- I wasn’t worried about that.”

Fareeha and Angela both laugh, loud and boisterous, and Genji catches the sound and turns his head towards them. His mask is gone and his scarf made hood is hanging around his shoulders, so Jesse can see his big smile clearly. He says something to Zarya next to him, and she looks Jesse’s way before grinning and lifting her arm off his shoulders so he can make his way over to them.

“Jesse! Just the man I wanted to see,” he says cheerfully when he gets close. He puts his hands on Jesse’s shoulders, and he only sways a little when he stands. Jesse still puts his hands on his hips to steady him. “I lost the contest, but I am feeling _great._ Even Hanzo’s having a good time talking in the kitchen, I’m so glad we came tonight. I really needed this.”

“That’s great, sugar,” Jesse says, smiling in relief. Genji was intoxicated, sure, but Jesse’s glad to know he wasn’t blackout drunk quite yet. Maybe now that Jesse’s here, he could prevent that from becoming a reality. Genji slides his hands down Jesse’s chest to tangle their fingers together, and the way he smiles sends a flush down Jesse’s whole body.

“Come with me,” Genji beckons, tugging one his hands to lead him away from the stairs, and Jesse just nods, afraid of the words caught in his throat. They make their way through the crowded main rooms where things are busiest, past the very popular gaming tournament that seems to be happening with Hana at the helm, past Lúcio and his musical setup and a throng of dancing people, into a smaller sitting room near the back of the house. There are few people in here, and the couch is empty.

Genji leads them both to the couch, but he turns to Jesse and give him a shove so he falls into the cushions. Jesse starts to panic -- he’s seen far too many romance movies to know where this is going. He raises a hand to stop Genji from clamoring on top of him, trying to ignore how it shakes, and clears his throat.

“Honey, you’re drunk,” he states.

Genji look puzzled. “I know that.”

Now Jesse is a little lost. He shakes his head before gesturing to himself. “You don’t really want this now, do you?”

His features scrunch up. “Don’t you?” Genji asks.

There’s a pause as Jesse tries to find his words, but after a long minute he comes up empty. “I beg your pardon, _what?”_

Genji snickers to himself and lowers himself onto Jesse’s lap so he’s straddling him, and Jesse goes red the whole way to his feet. Genji reaches up and removes Jesse’s hat before setting it beside them on the couch, brushing curly locks of brown hair from Jesse’s face and tucking them behind his ear. “Jesse, baby, I _see_ the way you look at my mouth when I’m talking. Now, unless I’m mixing up signals here, you _want_ to kiss me.”

Jesse feels like he’s trapped under a microscope, and Genji’s the scientist studying him for his reaction. It’s not that he’s _wrong_ \-- for the love of God, all Jesse’s been thinking about since their last kiss was when he was going to be able to do it again -- he’s just hung up on the fact that _friends don’t do this kind of thing_. Sure, they’ve kept things moderately platonic up to this point, but this seemed to be a step too far into that grey-area they agreed not to go into. And with all the self-reflection Jesse’s been doing all night, he knows that there’s something deeper there that he feels that he’s not ready to admit yet.

He swallows before he decides on telling the truth. There was no sense in lying to Genji too to make this mess even messier. He nods.

Genji smiles and trails a hand down Jesse’s face, ghosting a thumb over his lips. “That’s what I thought. For a moment I was worried I had something stuck in my teeth and you were just being too polite to say so.” He laughs quietly. “Lucky for you, I’m a very simple man. When I’m drunk, I like to make out. It’s fun and it keeps my mind occupied.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Jesse can’t help but ask, and Genji gives him a confused look before it melts into a soft, affectionate smile.

“It’s just like you to worry like that,” he sighs, but he leans forward so their foreheads are touching while he closes his eyes. “It’s okay, Jesse, it’s only kissing. I know it’s no-strings-attached, and we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

 _God_ does Jesse want to. The short proximity between them alone is enough to drive him up a wall, so close yet so far, but the thing holding him back is the thought that he doesn’t want to take advantage of Genji just to satisfy his own urges. He bites his lip.

“Do whatever you’d like, pumpkin,” he finally breathes as he shuts his eyes. “I’m yours.”

And with another quiet laugh, Genji kisses him. Once. Twice. Three times. Little pecks that are so feather light that Jesse almost thinks for a moment Genji’s teasing him, and when he’s about to complain Genji’s lips become more fervent, pressing more firmly against his own. It’s less passionate and more exploratory at first, as they learn how to kiss each other properly, Genji mapping his hands along the expanse of Jesse’s chest before they circle around his neck and Jesse trying to figure out where to put his hands. He settles them on Genji’s thighs, but Genji pulls back for a moment with an amused smile.

“Not there.” He takes Jesse by the wrist and guides his hand to his waist, repeating the motion to the other hand. He looks back, eyes hazy with alcohol and euphoria. “ _Subarashii._ That’s better,” he murmurs before leaning back into Jesse’s mouth.

It’s not long before his kisses become faster, _deeper_ , lips parting and slipping his tongue past Jesse’ teeth -- and it’s unlike anything that Jesse has ever experienced. He’s kissed people before, sure; but never like _this._ He’s breathless every time Genji presses their lips together, but every time Genji pulls back for air Jesse immediately wants to go back in for more. He begins to understand why so many people describe kissing as drowning or melting, because can feel himself getting more and more lost with every persisting kiss, turning him into putty under Genji’s lips and mouth and tongue.

Genji was right: it definitely did get his mind off of things.

After a while, Genji backs off and his kisses turn more slow before he pulls away. Jesse almost bemoans from the loss of contact, but then he gets a look at Genji’s face. His cheeks and the bridge of his nose are flushed a warm rose, green hair mussed and pieces are falling into his face. His lips are red and swollen, pupils blown open wide in _want -_ \- and Jesse gasps a nearly startled breath when he come to a realization.

Genji Shimada is fucking _beautiful_.

There’s a few moments that he just sits there staring, absolutely starstruck, and Genji raises an eyebrow, cracking a smile. “You okay there, cowboy?”

“You’re amazing.”

It isn’t exactly what Jesse was thinking, but it gets the message across without getting too in depth into his feelings. Saying it still makes him blush the whole way down to his chest. Genji’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second before he snorts, bursting into snickers, but before Jesse’s heart has time to fall into his feet when he worries he’s said the wrong thing Genji surges forward and gives him a searing kiss so intense that Jesse knows would make his knees weak if he was standing.

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Genji whispers when he pulls back, and Jesse can practically _taste_ the words coming off his lips when he says them. Genji plants his lips to the corner of Jesse’s mouth then, trailing a line of kisses the whole way down his cheek and neck through his beard. One on the line of his jaw, another where his head meets his neck, his Adam’s apple. Jesse tips his head back and squeezes his eyes shut as Genji continues his ministrations, lost in the feeling of lips against his skin.

“Have you ever gotten a hickey before?” Genji muses after a little while. Jesse nearly bites through his tongue, but then he forces out an answer.

“N-No.”

Genji pulls away and sits up straight. He looks stunned. “No way. That’s a joke, right?” When Jesse offers nothing in response, his eyes widen. “You’ve never gotten a hickey from someone before. You, Jesse McCree, are a hickey _virgin_.”

Jesse flushes indignantly. “Hush up, sugar. I’ve made out with very few people before this,” he snaps crossly, and Genji just fights a smile by biting his lip as he lowers his head back down to the exposed skin of Jesse’s neck.

“Alright, alright, my apologies,” Genji hushes, pressing a kiss to the hollow of Jesse’s throat in an apology before he hums. He reaches up to fiddle with the top buttons of Jesse’s shirt so he can expose more skin, but not before he looks back up through his lashes. “Is this okay?” Jesse just nods, so he goes back to work. He pops the top three buttons, and that allows him enough room to move the fabric aside and get to Jesse’s collarbone and where his neck meets his shoulder.

Jesse can’t help the shiver that runs through him when Genji breathes across the flesh there, and he cranes his head back to give Genji more room. He’s suddenly reminded that they aren’t alone, that they’re at a party and there are tons of people flitting between rooms and passing them by, but he can’t find in his heart to care. He’s here with Genji, they're supposed to be dating, so what does it matter? Let them stare.

His thoughts turn to static when Genji runs his tongue across his skin, sucking in an involuntary breath and Genji steadies him by cupping his jaw with a hand. A rush of hot embarrassment runs through him, feeling Genji’s lips turned up into a smile as they dip down again, and he locks his bottom lip between his teeth so he can try to stifle any more gasps.

At the first scrape of teeth against his collarbone Jesse almost swallows his tongue, his body flinching the smallest amount. His entire body feels like a live wire; he’s hyper-aware of every single point where his and Genji’s bodies meet and where they don’t -- he wants to eliminate all the space between them so they’re as close as possible. Genji bites down hard on his clavicle, sucking at the skin, and he can’t help the full body shudder in response.

Genji runs his tongue over the mark when he’s done marring Jesse’s skin before pulling back. He grins, voice low and velvety. “Now class, that’s how you give a hickey. Any questions?”

Jesse can’t help it -- he rolls his eyes harder than he’s ever done. It’s just like Genji to be a jackass in even the most embarrassing situations. It makes him feel a lot better about doing this. “Just shut up and kiss me,” he grumbles, and he pulls Genji back in for another eager kiss. Between breaths, he grins crookedly. “I might need to have a few more examples to commit it to memory, if you don’t mind, sweetheart.”

Genji laughs against his lips and is all too eager to continue.

A few hours and drinks later, and Genji is passed out on Jesse’s chest as the party starts to calm down. Jesse is completely kiss-exhausted (who even knew that was a thing you could be?), lips tingling and all the places on his neck and collar where Genji spent time making brilliant, blossoming bruises are searingly hot like a brand. His mind is blank as he stares at the ceiling, but one thing echoes in the empty void of his thoughts now that he’s not caught up in the heat of the moment.

_What have you done?_

Luckily enough for him, there’s only about half the number of people here than when they arrived, so they’re all alone in this room by now. The earlier bass-heavy dance music from earlier has calmed down into some quieter, calmer sounds since it was almost one in the morning. Jesse can believe that it was Angela's doing, not wanting a bunch of irritated neighbors calling in noise complaints.

He and Genji probably look like hell -- if any one of their friends walked in on them they’d definitely know what had gone on between the two of them. Jesse cringes. Please, dear Lord in heaven, he thinks -- if that were to happen let it be _anyone_ but Hanzo. He could laugh it off if Fareeha came in, and it would have be another scenario entirely if Sombra were to walk in on them if he hadn’t already caught her with her date tonight, but Hanzo?

Hanzo might actually skin him alive and put his head on a pike.

Thankfully, his prayers are answered when it’s Angela, and not the eldest Shimada, who’s the first one to peek in. When she finds only the two of them, she leans on the door frame, her arms crossed across her chest as she smiles wryly. She’s lost her hat somewhere in the time Jesse’s seen her last, so her golden curls are cascading down her shoulders.

“I hope nothing too bad happened on my couch,” she teases, and Jesse has the sudden urge to button up the few top buttons that Genji had undone when her eyes dart down to the hickeys peppering his collar bone. She tilts her head. “Did you have fun?”

Jesse hopes his voice doesn’t sound as rough as it does in his own ears. “The party ain’t over yet, Ange.”

Angela’s smile is enough of an answer. “Considering I haven’t seen you at all for most of the party, I wouldn’t know what to think. Seeing you now… I’d say you did.” She crosses the room to get to his side, gently pushing Genji’s hair out of his face and smoothing it down affectionately. Her smile turns soft. “And I’d say he had as a good time as any. I’m glad you two have each other.” Her smile falls a fraction of a second before she pulls her hand back. “Thank you for helping Fareeha earlier. I knew something was wrong before she disappeared upstairs but she wouldn’t tell me what it was.”

Jesse shifts so he can sit upright as gently as he can so he doesn’t rouse Genji, tucking his head under his chin. Genji doesn’t move an inch, sleeping like the dead. Jesse moves his hat aside so Angela can sit down next to him. “D’you know what happened?” he asks, and Angela shakes her head as she takes a seat.

“I know it must have been something Moira said, because she has the uncanny ability to get on people’s nerves, but I didn’t think it would be bad enough for Fareeha to leave.” This really looks like it’s bothering her. Jesse pats her shoulder in a comforting manner, and Angela folds her hands in her lap, looking at the floor. “I know she told you, but I’m not going to pry. If she wanted to tell me, she would have.”

“She’s fine now,” Jesse reassures. “I helped her through it.”

This doesn’t seem to comfort Angela at all. She wrinkles her nose before sighing again, running a hand through her hair so it’s all on one side of her shoulder. “I wish she’d let me in on how she felt more. I want her to rely on me, not to think she’s bothering me. She could never bother me.” She rubs her arm absentmindedly.

The realization dawns on him faster than he can help it. “You… you’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

Angela looks like she’s been shocked, face reddening as she flaps her hands in front of herself. “Of course not, Jesse. Love is slow. Love takes time.” She still smiles bashfully, pressing a hand to her cheek. “But… I think I’d like to be.”

Jesse can’t help but smile. “You should talk to her,” he murmurs. “She’d appreciate you being honest about your feelings, hon.”

It’s a slow minute that Angela thinks to herself, but once it’s over she smiles a bit. “ _Danke_ , Jesse. I appreciate it greatly.” She then smiles wide enough that her dimples appear on her cheeks. “And thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to come to my party, even though all you did was make out with your boyfriend.” She stands as Jesse flushes. “And I’d think about wearing scarves for a little bit until those go away. _Especially_ if you’re planning on going anywhere.”

“I’ll -- I’ll keep that in mind,” he mutters, and Angela laughs lightly as she waltzes out of the room.

“By the way, Hanzo was looking for the two of you so you could leave. I suggest you button up to hide the most of it unless you want to face _that_ tonight on your way home since Genji’s usually your buffer,” she says and Jesse can’t help but snort a he goes about buttoning up his shirt as best he can with one hand, as the other is wrapped around Genji’s waist.

“I’d hate to disagree, Angie, but it usually feels like _I’m_ the buffer for the both of _them_ ,” he retorts, and Angela laughs again before disappearing into the rest of the house without another word.

Jesse successfully gets the rest of his shirt buttoned even though he fumbles a little bit with the final one, but he replaces his hat and then turns to Genji, a dilemma arising.

Does he try to wake him up, or just carry him out? He decides to just carry him out after realizing that Genji is one of the heaviest sleepers he knows, save his own sister, so he knows trying to pull Genji out of a drunken slumber would be nigh impossible.

He’s hefting his boyfriend on his back when Hanzo makes it into the room. He’s carrying Genji’s previously abandoned mask and a small bottle of wine under his arm. He gives Jesse a once over, straying a moment at the sight of Genji hanging over Jesse’s shoulders and snoozing peacefully, before he sighs.

“You two did _not_.” He doesn’t sound angry, just sort of exhausted. Jesse frowns, mildly confused and also a little concerned, and tries to play dumb.

“I dunno what you’re talkin’ about, darlin’,” he says, adjusting his hold under Genji’s thighs when he swears he feels him slip. He’s anything but heavy, but Jesse just doesn’t trust himself not to drop him by accident.

Hanzo doesn’t look impressed at his half-assed attempt of a lie. “I can see the hickey on the underside of your jaw, Jesse. You can’t hide this from me.” He stops when the sound of people coming closer to the room in heard, taking a deep breath. “We’ll talk about this on the ride home.”

Jesse doesn’t know what he means, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it when a hoard of friends, including Angela and Fareeha, come to see them out. Lena pops up on her toes and kisses both of Jesse’s cheeks once again and makes him _promise_ to call her (she writes her phone number in permanent marker on the underside of his arm just so he doesn’t forget.) Fareeha grins at his appearance and tells him she’ll see him again at Thanksgiving. Hana punches him hard on the arm and gives him a look to remind him to keep their secret and Lúcio says goodbye for the both of them.

They all follow them to the door, but break away to return to whatever they were doing until only Angela remains. She smiles at both Hanzo and Jesse.

“Make sure to tell Genji to drink lots of water if he wakes up before tomorrow morning, and if he doesn’t, tell him to take some aspirin before he calls me,” she says. She then gives each of them hugs, which Jesse tries to return as best as he can with Genji on his back. “Thank you again for coming!”

She opens the door and they step outside, and she waves until they make it to the end of the path before she shuts the door behind them. The walk back to the truck is silent, Jesse growing increasingly paranoid as the seconds tick by without Hanzo saying a word to him, wondering how truly bad whatever he wanted to talk to him about if he was waiting _this long_. Finally, they make it to the car, and Jesse opens up the back seat to put Genji in it.

It’s not until Genji is buckled in and Jesse shuts the door as quietly as he can as not to rouse him, before Hanzo finally speaks up.

“You’re falling in love with him.”

Jesse is slow to respond, gazing at Genji’s sleeping face through the window to the back seat of his truck. Somehow, he knew this was coming -- he’s been thinking about it all night. He turns and fishes through his pockets for his cigarette and lighter, placing one between his lips and offering one out to Hanzo. He takes one. Jesse quietly lights his cigarette, hands the lighter to Hanzo so he can light his own, and then breathes deep.

He exhales, and that’s when he finally answers, recalling the words Angela said to him not even an hour before. “Love is slow. Love takes time.”

Hanzo actually laughs at him, handing the lighter over. “You have had plenty of time to properly fall in love with him, you fool.”

“We’ve only been at this for a few months…” Jesse tries again, but Hanzo cuts him off.

“You’ve known him for much longer than that. It’s entirely possible you’ve been in love with him since we were high schoolers, and you didn’t even realize it until now.” He snorts, taking a drag on his cigarette and looking away. “It’s not even just possible, I _know_ that’s what happened.”

“Really?” Jesse asks flatly, not appreciating how high and mighty Hanzo is acting about this whole dilemma when he was slowly losing the grip he has on his calm facade. “Then would ya care to explain how you knew how I felt before I did?”

Hanzo smirks, tapping ash off the end of his cigarette. “Absolutely. This of course, goes the whole way back to when you met in high school. You were in a stressful situation that was out of your control and never wanted to be around your family, and then you met my brother: another person around your age that, just like you, never liked to be at home. He became the person you’d fall back on when you were uncomfortable or in distress, so whether you know it or not he begins to mean so much more than just a friend. However, because my brother is a shallow little twerp, he likes to date around and surround himself with people that interest him.” Hanzo shrugs. “You never even consider him eligible to date, but you think you’re so content with just knowing him and being friends that you wouldn’t even think about it to begin with it.” He pauses a moment, taking a drag on his cigarette, and then folds his arms across his chest.

Jesse swallows and tries not to make it obvious. He can’t let the eldest Shimada know he was getting to him by pointing out all these things about him, or Hanzo will grow even more pompous.

“Fast forward a few years to now. Genji asks you to fake a relationship. You agree -- this is your best friend after all, you want to make him happy. But then you start fake dating, and you start realizing you like things a lot more than you were expecting.” He gestures to Jesse’s neck and face with a self-righteous smile. “Namely, the physical aspects of keeping up the appearance of your relationship around others. You like kissing him -- but it’s not just physical attraction, it’s emotional too. You like making him happy, you like being around him -- you agreed to fake date him for _months_ for fuck’s sake.” Hanzo reaches the end of his cigarette and drops it to the ground, crushing the butt into the dirt, running a hand through his hair. “Put it simply, you've always loved him. You just haven't realized it until now.”

Jesse is silent, stewing in the embarrassment that Hanzo just figured everything out in mere _minutes_ while he’s been clueless about it for years. He looks back through the window of his truck to look back at Genji again, sleeping peacefully in the back, and he blows cigarette smoke from his nose, relishing the burn.

“Alright. Fine, I’m in love with him,” he murmurs a he puts out his own cigarette butt before gathering both his and Hanzo’s off the ground to throw away. He motions for Hanzo to get into the passenger’s side as he walks to the other side silently. He doesn’t say anything until he’s putting the keys into the ignition, pulling his gaze up to look at Genji again in the back seat, and he finally understands how Fareeha felt earlier that night when she began to confide in him. He feels _helpless_. “I... I don’t know what to do.”

He can feel Hanzo’s incredulous stare on him. “You have to tell him. You can’t let him take advantage of your feelings like this.”

Jesse shakes his head, feeling sluggish like he just surfaced after being deeply submerged underwater. “He ain’t takin’ advantage of me. He doesn’t even know.”

Hanzo snorts. “If a hunter shoots and kills an animal he doesn’t know is endangered, does that still make him a criminal?” He sighs when Jesse doesn’t look pleased with his analogy. “Jesse, I’m not saying this in a bad way. You’re one of the most important people in Genji’s life, he said so earlier. I’d never want him to cut you out of it, and I know no matter what you’d say to him, he’d still care about you.” He places a hand on Jesse’s arm. “I just don’t want you hurting yourself in the process of making _him_ happy. You’re feelings are just as important as his.”

Jesse doesn’t say anything and starts the truck, twisting his keys in the ignition. “I’m not going to tell him anything. We’ll keep this up ‘till your family gets off his ass about taking a job in the company, and then I’ll think about it after we spend time time apart.” He levels a glare at Hanzo. “And don’t you dare say anything to him about this,” he warns. “Or I’ll skin ya.”

Hanzo returns the glare with an unimpressed stare. “Now, why would I do that?”

Jesse focuses his stare back on the road. “I’ll figure this out. I’m not going to get myself hurt,” he says, not knowing if he’s trying to convince himself or Hanzo, and he pulls out of their parking spot to take the brothers back home.

Hanzo doesn’t say anything else. Jesse appreciates it. He doesn’t know if he could focus on two conversations at once: the one with Hanzo, and the internal monologue he’s having inside his head. He can’t help himself from taking glances back at Genji when he can, feeling something in his chest tighten each time when he thinks _“I love him.”_

It's an overwhelming sense of guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He sighs. He was never really good at keeping out of trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whooooooooaaa 150+ kudos?!?! that's insane thank you so much!! you guys are so kind and i appreciate you all so much <33 ill save all my extra comments for the end, please just enjoy!!

Over the first week and a half of November, Jesse convinces himself he is much too busy with his new job at the mechanic shop to worry about silly things like _being in love with his best friend_. He quits his job at the bar and rejoices over the fact he works half the hours he did at the bar as a mechanic but still gets nearly twice the salary, which means he might be able to get a full night’s sleep for the first time in _years_. He still texts Genji on a daily basis to check in and see if everything is going well, to see if there’s news from his family about their dating situation, but there’s not.

He’s spending his first Tuesday off in years sitting in his living room, browsing channels on his television in search for something to watch, when he gets a call on his phone. He’s honestly expecting it to be Genji, and a quieter part of him wishes it would be, but when he looks at the caller ID, he sees it’s actually his father.

He doesn’t waste a second to answer it. “Howdy, Pops. How are ya?”

 _“Hello, Jesse,”_ Gabriel says warmly. “ _I’m doing fine -- I’m calling for a favor.”_

Jesse turns the television off and gets to his feet, stretching. “Well, what can I do for ya? I’m off today, so I can head out in a little bit if you need me somewhere.”

_“No, it’s nothing like that. Thanksgiving is coming up in a week and a half, and I wanted to know if Genji was coming with you or not for dinner. Jack and I need a headcount to make sure we get a turkey that’s big enough for everyone.”_

Jesse frowns despite himself. He hadn’t even thought about bringing Genji along for Thanksgiving; considering Genji wasn’t American-born and he was at least ninety-percent sure that the Shimadas didn’t celebrate the holiday. He clears his throat. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t asked him yet…” he trails off. Gabriel hums on the other line.

_“Can you do that and get back to me? Fareeha, Sombra, and Hana are all bringing plus ones, I just wasn’t sure about you yet.”_

“Oh?” Jesse grins at the news. Looks like his pep talk with Fareeha the night of the Halloween party actually worked, unless this plus one is someone he doesn’t know. “Liv and Fareeha are bringing plus ones? Who all is comin’ then?”

Gabriel laughs, but he kind of sounds exhausted. _“A shit ton of people, son. There’s already going to be the normal group of our family, Jack and Hana, and the Amaris. That’s seven already -- count our plus ones and that’s eleven. Then of course Reinhardt is going to make it, and Jack invited Lena Oxton and her girlfriend to come in too, so altogether it looks like there’s going to be fourteen if Shimada is included.”_

Fourteen people. Jesse can’t _imagine_ that many people sitting down for dinner, much less _Thanksgiving_ dinner. “Do you even have enough chairs for that?” he asks, voice cracking a little when he holds in a snicker, and Gabriel bursts into laughter.

 _“We have ten right now. We’ll figure something out. Rent ‘em if need be.”_ When he finally quiets down, he sighs contentedly. _“We absolutely have the living space, it’s just the dining room that’s going to be fun to fit into. Just get back to me later to see if Genji is coming -- hell, if he doesn’t we have one less mouth to feed.”_

“I want him to come,” Jesse says, a bit too defensively for his taste, and he can imagine Gabriel smirking at him on the other end of the line. He doubles back. “I’ll talk to him after he gets off work and call you tonight to let you know, okay?”

_“Thanks a ton, Jess. I’ll talk to you later.”_

Jesse nods while he squeezes his eyes shut, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Talk to ya soon.” He ends the call and sighs. There was no way he was going to be able to get ahold of Genji on the phone for _sure_ until he got off from work, but Jesse could try and shoot him a message and see if he answered. He opens up their texting feed and starts to type.

 

 **Jesse** : _hey honey can i call you after work? i gotta ask you somethin_

 

He goes to set down his phone before he stops. Well, he was just going to leave it at that, but it’s not until after he’s sent it that he realizes how urgent it sounds. He doesn’t want Genji to worry, so he pulls up the keyboard again.

 

 **Jesse** : _it ain’t super important or nothin it’s just about thankgiving at my dad’s and whether or not you’re gonna be willin to go or not_

 

 **Jesse** : _with me of course_

 

 **Jesse** : _i ain’t gonna make you go alone that’d be ridiculous_

 

He’s blowing it. This is turning into one of those times where he can’t find something to say that doesn’t make him sound like a bumbling idiot who’s head over heels -- disasters like these have been happening more and more frequently ever since Jesse has figured out his major crush. Before his big revelation, it was easy to flirt back and forth with Genji because it didn’t mean anything. Now that it actually does, Jesse’s been trying to watch what he says to make sure he doesn’t make Genji uncomfortable. Unfortunately, he does a lot of overthinking in the meantime and ends up looking like a fool more often than not.

He decides to just put his phone down before he makes an ass out of himself any further, tossing it onto the couch cushions as he makes his way into the kitchen to get his mind off of it. He digs through his fridge and pulls out a leftover box of Chinese to return to the living room with, snagging a fork from his drying rack as well, and flips the television on when he returns to his set on the couch.

Jesse is stuffing chicken chow mein into his mouth when his phone kicks into gear, the classic Power Rangers theme pulling him away from the cooking show he was half paying attention to, so he finishes his bite and mutes the television before answering the call.

“You didn’t need to call me,” he begins, but his chest flutters a little when Genji laughs on the other end of the line and he can’t keep his smile down.

 _“I’m on break and I’m bored,”_ Genji says cheerfully. _“Besides, I miss you. Your fancy new mechanic job is taking up all the free time we used to have to hang out together and it sucks.”_

The words make his chest warm. Jesse bites down his smile and tries not to focus too much on the fact Genji had actually said he _missed_ him. His free hand finds the back of his neck. “Sorry, honey, I’ll make it up to you. Are you free tonight? I can pick up dinner and we can head back to my place if you want.”

Genji makes an interested cooing noise on the other end of the line. _“Free food and a ticket away from home? Count me in, baby. I was_ not _interested in helping with paperwork at home tonight -- I’ve done enough of that today with taking people’s early holiday bouquet orders.”_ He draws out the words of his last sentence like he’s distracted, the sound of clattering keys filling the space between them. He must be multi-tasking. _“I work ‘till five tonight, but the bus that gets me to your apartment doesn’t come until five thirty. Is that okay if I show up after then?”_

Jesse raises an eyebrow. “Getting places would be way easier if you just got your license, y’know.”

Genji snorts, and Jesse doesn’t have to see him to know he’s rolling his eyes on the other end of the line. _“I’m gay, Jesse. I don’t drive.”_

“That ain’t stopped me from learnin,” Jesse retorts with a grin, to which Genji huffs. “How ‘bout I just swing down to pick you up. That way you don’t have to take the bus and we can head to the store together to pick something out to eat.”

_“Mm. You don’t mind?”_

“Naw, it’s fine,” Jesse reassures, shifting in his seat so he can prop up his feet on the coffee table. “I’m mighty bored too. Having a day off for the first time in a while without you bein’ with me is awfully… quiet.” He’s never thought of being by himself as lonely, but he’s gotten used to having Genji around pretty consistently, crush aside.

Genji laughs again. _“And I’ve grown fond of of having you around so frequently as well. I actually wish we could get together more often. I should ask Zenyatta to change up my schedule so our off days match up.”_ He hums thoughtfully. _“Y’know, I thought we would have gotten sick of seeing each other so often. I’m glad to know that’s not the case.”_

“Shucks, pumpkin, I could never get tired of ya’,” Jesse says in a fit of honesty, and he hopes it isn’t weird for him to say it. There’s a pause on the other end, but Genji doesn’t stay silent for too long, filling the receiver with pleased laughter.

_“Please, Jesse -- you’re feeding my ego. Hanzo will kill you.”_

Jesse laughs along, holding his tongue. _Your brother is gonna kill me for more than just that_ , he thinks. He rests the back of his head on the couch behind him, shutting his eyes. “I’ll be there around five for you. Alright, sweetheart?”

 _“It’s a date then,”_ Genji says fondly. He should have just hung up after that, just left it off as a simple farewell, but something in his best friend’s brain that Jesse just doesn’t quite understand adds a hasty and half-aware statement before he hangs up that turns Jesse’s stomach inside out. _“Love you, I’ll see you then.”_

It punches all the air out of Jesse’s lungs, leaving him feeling winded like he was assaulted physically, but he can’t even find the words to croak out a reply. Lucky for him Genji’s already ended the call anyway, but even if he hadn’t Jesse’s sure he wouldn’t have been able to answer without blowing it. He pulls his phone away from his ear, his heart hammering in his chest as he sets it beside him on a nearby couch cushion, his mind screeching through questions and answers faster than he can keep up with.

_Love you._

Why did Genji say that? Obviously he was trying to keep up their fake relationship, but would he have done that if he was only in front of Zenyatta? Zenyatta was the last person on the planet Jesse could think of as a gossip, the man too eager to keep the peace. Maybe he was in front of a customer? After all, he did sound distracted. Maybe he was just saying it reflexively -- like what happens after years of being on the phone with family and just adding on the affectionate words as an afterthought was habit.

Whatever the situation, he’s absolutely sure of one thing. If only _hearing_ it is enough to make Jesse’s mouth dry and his heart race, he is even further gone than he thought, and that makes him feel _terrified._

He pushes away his leftovers when he remembers he has them -- he isn’t sure he’d be able to stomach anything else with his chaotic emotional state, and stares at the television until it’s time for him to leave.

A familiar face greets him when Jesse walks into the the flower shop at five, but it’s not the one he’s expecting. A man with brown skin darker than Jesse’s own and a shaved head looks up from being crouched in front of the succulent display when the doorbell chimes, big brown eyes crinkling in a bright smile.

“Jesse McCree,” he welcomes earnestly, putting down a palm-sized potted succulent back in a carton full of them of various shapes and sizes. He brushes dirt off onto the yellow gardening apron hanging from his waist, standing up. “It’s wonderful to see you again.”

“Zenyatta,” Jesse returns with his own smile, lulled into the calm and safe feeling that always extends from the shorter man’s aura, no matter the situation. It’s a welcome change from the busy sounds of his inner monologue he’d been subjected to ever since his earlier call with Genji. He hooks his thumb under his belt and relaxes his shoulders back. “How’ve ya been? Keeping Genji busy?”

Zenyatta, although a very peaceful individual, isn’t one to stray away from light teasing if he sees the opportunity. His lips curl into a playful smirk, eyes glittering mischievously. “Not at busy as you’ve been keeping him, from what he tells me,” he says cheekily, rising a flush out of him that travels all the way through Jesse’s face and down his chest. Zenyatta laughs at the reaction, a wonderfully light sound, and he crosses over to the checkout counter and takes a seat on the stool set up behind it. He retrieves a cardboard box from underneath and pulls an unfinished corsage with a large white rose from within, instantly getting back to work on it. “Genji will be out in a minute, I have him finishing up the layout of the online store.”

Jesse tears his eyes away from Zenyatta’s deft fingers wrapping floral tape around the stem of the rose with a wave of a hand. “S‘fine, I don’t mind.” He steps in a low circle around a display filled with vases of vibrant blooms, whites and yellows and reds. “These are some gorgeous posies,” he croons, running a gentle thumb over the velvety petal of a rose. “You grow ‘em yourself?”

Zenyatta nods without pulling his gaze away from his work. “My brothers do most of it, but I do help with their care. Genji occasionally helps during the busier times of year.” He smiles gently, but there’s a flicker of mischief in his eyes Jesse doesn’t miss when he pauses and looks up. “Do you know Genji’s favorite flower, or do you need me to tell you?”

He hopes he doesn’t look too lost when he answers with a shake of the head. He scratches at his beard. “I didn’t think he’d want any since he works with them all the time,” he lies, drawing his attention back down towards a bundle of orchids, and Zenyatta laughs, setting down the corsage and stepping away from the counter to approach him.

“That may be true, but it's still nice to know. Although he _says_ he likes Snapdragons...” Zenyatta muses, gesturing to a tall bunch of stems covered in small wine red flowers, “... I know he loves the Tulips more. He treats them much more delicately than any of the other flowers.” He points across the store to a display of the long stemmed flowers in small round vases.

“Tulips?” Jesse echoes, and Zenyatta nods contentedly.

“Do you know anything about the language of flowers?” he asks, and once again, Jesse shakes his head. The shorter man hums, folding his hands in front of him. “Tulips can signify a declaration of love, but are more commonly known to symbolize _perfect love_. There’s a story behind this, about a prince who falls in love with a maiden who ends up killed.” He steps around the display gracefully, stopping in front of a potted red tulip. “He’s so overcome with grief he rides his horse off a cliff, and in the place where his blood touched bloomed a brilliant red flower: a tulip.”

Jesse swallows down a thickness that’s developed in his throat. “That’s... pretty awful,” he murmurs, and Zenyatta smiles at him.

“It’s a tragic tale, but one that puts a meaning into a beautiful flower.” His eyes crinkle at the corners, raising an eyebrow apprehensively. “Besides, it’s only an old folk tale. It’s not like it really happened.”

Jesse flushes. “I know that,” he says, and Zenyatta laughs at his flustered expression.

“Zen! I’m finished, so I’m heading out!” Genji calls as he makes his way out of a back room, bundled up in his coat and scarf. His face lights up when he sees Jesse waiting for him, and Jesse curses his heart when it trembles joyfully. “Jesse!”

“Howdy, sweetheart,” he says, trying not to sound too relieved he wasn’t going to have to withstand anymore of Zenyatta’s teasing.

“You weren’t making fun of him too much, were you, Zen?” Genji accuses cheerfully, making his way to stand with both Jesse and the man in question. Jesse has to fight down his smile when Genji tangles their fingers together without a second thought. Zenyatta blinks innocently, tilting his head in confusion, but his smile is telling.

“I have no idea why I’d do such a thing,” he says, winking Jesse’s way before making his way back to the counter. “Remember you’re coming in tomorrow at ten, Genji. I need your help preparing for that wedding that’s next week.”

“I know, I know. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Genji says, stopping Zenyatta to press a chaste kiss to his cheek, but the action makes a sudden and an unfamiliar tang of jealousy bubble up in Jesse’s stomach. He hurries to swallow it down as Genji turns to him, eager to leave his job. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Jesse nods, making their way for the exit.

“Have fun, you two,” Zenyatta says, waving farewell with the unfinished corsage in his palm and a knowing smile at his lips.

The doors jingle when he and Genji step out into the evening light, the sun already beginning to set in the west and burning trails of pink and orange across the sky. Jesse appreciates the way the brilliant glow from the sky frames the side of Genji’s face in secret glances while his friend rants about his day at work, off-setting the dull green of Genji’s faded dyed hair. He nearly walks into the side of his truck he’s so distracted -- but he quickly covers it up and makes his way to the driver’s seat.

“-- and this woman instantly starts freaking out at me about how the daisies were supposed to be yellow, and not white, and I keep telling her they only _come_ in white and pink, but she’s already asking to see my manager,” Genji continues when he buckles himself in, rolling his eyes. “Zenyatta had to explain to her that she was confusing daisies with black-eyed susans, but she didn’t listen to him either. She said she’d never buy flowers from the shop again.” He snorts. “Good riddance.”

Jesse cracks a smile while he pulls out of the parking lot and starts driving towards the grocery store. “Even I know the difference between them, and I ain’t a botanist.”

Genji throws his hands up in the air. “Exactly! They may look similar, and many people plant them close to each other in their gardens, but they’re two different types of flowers.” He crosses his arms. “The customer is always right my _ass.”_

Jesse’s has had plenty of customers like the woman Genji is describing: know-it-all’s who won’t take no for an answer, but he knows complaining about it ‘till you’re blue in the face won’t help anything. “Cheer up, baby, we’re just gonna relax and sit tight with some homemade food and a movie or two, and I’ll take you home later.”

Genji levies him a hard stare. “Never would be great. Father is traveling again and Hanzo’s up to his ears in paperwork he wants me to help with, and I don’t want any of it.”

Jesse purses his lips. “I can settle with ya by takin’ you home tomorrow morning, if that’s alright. We both have work and I have an appointment with a customer bright ‘n’ early.”

“Deal,” Genji agrees. He smirks. “Hanzo will most likely be passed out by then if he keeps himself up all night, and I can sneak by him without any trouble.” He reaches forward to fiddle with the radio then, and when he finds something he’s willing to listen to for the rest of the ride he relaxes again. It’s some sort of pop station that Jesse would never pick if he was in charge, but he’s not about to tell Genji that.

“So’ve you got an idea of what you want to eat tonight?” he asks instead, flicking on his turn signal when he reaches a stop light. “I’m willing to cook whatever as long as it doesn’t make too much of a mess.”

Genji lets out a long groan, sinking in his seat. “I didn’t really think about it, I was too busy at work today. I could really care less about what we ate as long as I don’t have to do anything. I’m not really the best in the kitchen.”

Jesse can’t help but snort, rolling his eyes. “That’s ‘cause everything was made _for_ you, you spoiled little thing,” he teases. Genji shrugs, not offering up a counter-argument against the statement, and Jesse grins at him. “If you’re comin’ with me for Thanksgiving, you can be sure you’re going to need to know how to chop vegetables at the least. Gabe won’t forgive you if you can’t pull your weight.”

Genji blinks. “Doesn’t everyone just bring something with them to your house?”

“That’d be the easier option, wouldn’t it?” Jesse laughs. “Nah, most of everything is cooked there. See, we don’t really make all the traditional American meal you see on TV like the cranberry sauce and all that,  everyone brings somethin’ from home. Gabe usually makes _tamales_ and _morisqueta,_ Ana makes _moussaka_ and _hawawshi_ \-- it’s all traditional based off of where we’re from.” He shrugs. “It’s more about celebrating our family than anything, since we’re such a strange mix of backgrounds and all that, and we all cook together for a day. Chaotic, but still nice.”

“So… I should bring something with me from my home,” Genji murmurs. He chews the side of his mouth, deep in thought. “I haven’t cooked much food from scratch, but now’s as good a time to learn than any, I suppose.”

Jesse feels a flicker in his chest, different than him realizing how hard he was crushing. This was more of excitement rather then giddiness. “I could teach you if you’d like. We can start tonight and make somethin’ simple for dinner. Like... I dunno, something with chicken in it. That’s easy.”

Genji chews the bottom of his lip, and he actually looks _nervous_ as all hell. Jesse can’t remember the last time he’s ever seen Genji like this -- it makes his excitement tighten in his chest. “I don’t know, Jesse, I can be a terrible student,” he says warily, but Jesse waves him off.

“It’ll be easy, honey, I promise,” he reassures. “You won’t burn down my kitchen while I’m beside you. Besides -- I’d lose my deposit and I can’t be havin’ that.” Genji laughs a little before he sighs decisively, running a nervous hand through his hair before he squares his shoulders.

“Alright, _Sensei_ ,” he says cheekily. “Teach me how to cook.”

 

About an hour and a half later, Jesse and Genji step into the apartment with arms loaded with groceries bags. They had eventually decided on chicken tacos, a recipe Jesse knew that required the least amount of cooking he could think of. Genji trails after him into the kitchen, setting plastic bags on the kitchen table while Jesse sets his own on the counter. Genji instantly starts digging through them to start preparing dinner, and ends up watching Jesse preheat the oven and root for a pan in the cabinet while holding a red onion and a bag of avocados somewhat awkwardly.

Jesse finally notices him lingering and snorts. “Y’know you can help me with some _other_ things that need to get done before we start chopping vegetables, sweetheart,” he says, failing to hide his amusement, and Genji rolls his eyes as a flush rises on his face, and he puts both of the items he was holding back in the bag he retrieved them from.

“Alright, tell me what to do then,” he snaps in embarrassment, and Jesse laughs as he motions for him to come closer. He hands Genji a silver mixing bowl he snatches out of a cupboard, along with several bottles of spices.

“Put those over on the table for us later, and then get one of them heavy iron skillets out of the far right cabinet for me. A decent sized one that’ll fit both of the breasts,” he directs, busying himself with opening the package of chicken. He hears Genji patter off, and not a minute later he returns with what Jesse asked for. Jesse smiles at him while he takes it. “Thank ya, hon, this is perfect. Now I’m gonna teach ya how to sear these off in the pan before throwin’ them in the oven to finish cooking.” He gestures for Genji to come closer, and they end up standing shoulder to shoulder. He places the pan on one of the burners. “See, you want to have the pan on medium heat -- that way the chicken won’t cook too fast and burn while we’re searing it off. Can you add a bit of oil into that pan for me too? Not too much, we don’t wanna shallow fry them.”

Genji hesitantly reaches for a bottle of oil, eyes flitting to Jesse for approval as he pours a little bit into the pan. The amount is a little lighter than they want, so Jesse corrects him by guiding his hand to pour a little more in. “Why are we putting them in the pan if we’re just going to bake them after?” Genji finally asks as the pan starts to heat up, watching as Jesse seasons the chicken breasts with some salt and pepper.

“Adds flavor,” Jesse answers. “Just enough to make it taste a little more complex than just flat chicken. It also keeps the juices in the meat so it stays moist in the oven.”

Genji hums quietly as he watches Jesse work, and soon enough the pan is sizzling. Jesse directs the two of them over to the stove, carefully placing each of the breasts into the oil before handing a pair of tongs to his friend waiting diligently beside him.

“Here,” he says, and Genji takes the cooking tools before blinking expectantly, like he doesn’t know what to do with them. Jesse laughs and gestures to the food before moving to wash his hands. “Gently flip both of ‘em over in about two minutes. If they look browned, that means they’ll be ready to throw into the oven after they cook on the opposite side.”

“Oh… okay,” Genji says slowly, eyebrows pulling together in focus as he watches the pan crackle and pop. He actually looks anxious -- Jesse can hardly believe he found one of the only things he hasn’t seen Genji be overly confident in when trying it for the first time. Genji stares a moment longer before turning back to Jesse. “But what if I--”

“You ain’t gonna burn ‘em,” Jesse cuts off with a roll of his eyes, reaching for a towel to dry his hands. “Relax. If you really forget to check ‘em in two minutes I’ll remind ya.” He snickers and Genji shoots him a look. “I would have really though you’d have tried to jump in, guns ablazin’. Where’s all that confidence you normally ooze, mister Playboy?”

Genji glares, lips pulling into a frown. “I’m not trying to impress you by pretending to know what I’m doing,” he grumbles, eyes darting back to the pan and gingerly poking at the sizzling food with the tongs. “Trust me -- if I was actively trying to pursue you, I’d be doing things way over the top. Like, flourishing things and all that shit. Since I’m not, I’m going to learn how to cook without fucking up your kitchen.”

Jesse remains quiet as Genji talks, his earlier lightheartedness falling right out of his chest. Even though he knew it to begin with, a part of him aches when it’s revealed his attraction is entirely one-sided, and it hurts terribly. He hates that a part of him felt the need to hold onto that small ray of hope that this fake relationship make Genji come to some realizations about himself as well, but it’s obvious now that it isn’t the case. He should have known, should have _fucking_ known that Genji doesn’t give these kinds of casual relationships a second thought and he’d be alone in this.

He forces himself to breathe a moment, watching as Genji flips the chicken breasts too early -- as they aren’t browned yet -- eyes drawn to the way his lips pull to the side in irritation, muttering a curse in Japanese under his breath as he flips them back over.

At least he knows now that he should keep this to himself, instead of listening to what Hanzo had to say to him. Jesse would rather _not_ have Genji feeling guilty about being the whole reason he’s been kicking himself lately. The only reason he’s putting up with this fake dating nonsense is for Genji anyway, and he’ll wait to do anything until _Genji_ says it’s okay for them to stop. He doesn’t know if he could handle having to see Genji married off to one of Sojirou’s business partner’s children all because Jesse couldn’t bear to keep up a fake relationship for a few more weeks. It’s already hard enough knowing Genji will probably go back to his old ways as soon as he’s in the clear, and Jesse will probably be left in the dust.

He swallows. Oh, shit. He hadn’t even thought about that yet. Sure it may be selfish of him, but he isn’t sure what he’d do if Genji and he saw each other long after this all was over, and his best friend was hanging off the arm of some new partner that he was heads over heels for. Jesse might actually _die._

_“--esse.”_

He doesn’t actually know if he’d be able to keep suppressing all these feelings that have swelled up in him over the past few months if he has to keep doing it for the rest of his life. It was easy when he was ignorant to them, not so much when they’ve been pushed to the forefront of his mind every second he remembered they existed.

“Jesse.”

Would he ever get over Genji, or would he be doomed to living alone forever, pinning over his best friend until he died? Or would he end up getting together with someone he didn’t even like just to keep up appearances? He could keep up their friendship, but at what cost to himself?

“Jesse!” Genji’s shaking him with a hand on his shoulder now, and Jesse is jerked out of his racing thoughts to see Genji blinking brown eyes worriedly at him, the pan with the chicken in it taken off the heat and moved off to another cool burner. Words are slow to come out of his mouth.

“What?”

Genji’s eyebrows knit together in concern. “The chicken is done. Are… are you okay?”

Jesus Christ, how long Genji trying to get his attention? He shakes his head before plastering a smile on his face. There was no need for him to worry anyone by tuning out that long. “I’m fine, sweetheart. I, uh, just got a lot on my mind.”

The apprehensive gaze Genji has on him softens a little. “Do…” Genji trails off, hand sliding down to rest gently on Jesse’s wrist. “Do you want to talk about it?”

_Yes._

“It’s ain’t nothin’ to really talk about,” Jesse lies, averting his eyes and running a hand through his hair so he can get it out of his eyes. He still feels Genji’s eyes on him and he forces out a rumbling laugh. “I swear I’m fine. Don’t worry your pretty little head about me.”

Genji doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t push it. “You always worry me, dipshit,” he says with a wry smile. He gestures to the pan. “So what do we do with this now it’s done searing? You’re the expert here.”

Right, the food. Jesse nearly forgot while he was wrapped up in… all that just was. “We have to cover the pan and put it in the oven,” Jesse says, clearing his throat and double checking the oven to see if it was preheated, and thankfully it is. He tears a sheet of aluminium foil off a roll he has hidden away in a drawer and folds the corners around the pan of chicken so it’s snug, being careful not to burn himself. “Now we put this in for twenty minutes and wait for it to finish cookin’.”

He hands Genji an oven mitt and Genji puts it on, carefully picking up the pan and sliding it in the oven to avoid burns too, and when it’s placed in and the door’s shut he stands up with a smile. He shucks the mitt and gently smacks it against Jesse’s chest to hand it back. “What now, cowboy?”

Jesse takes the oven mitt before he motions to the vegetables Genji left on the table. “Now I get to teach you how to cut those for the simple salsa,” he says, laughing when Genji’s eyes light up. “This ain’t like carvin’ pumpkins, sugarplum. It’s a lot more delicate.”

Genji eagerly bounces on his heels as Jesse pulls a cutting board out and sets it on the counter, fishing for a knife out of another drawer, but he laughs at the comment about his handiwork on some of Angela’s Halloween decorations. “I’ll be totally honest with you now that Hanzo isn't sulking around us, Angela did nearly all of the cutting on those,” he reveals. “I drew on some of the designs with some stencils she gave me, and cut some straight lines, but…”

“Oh?” Jesse gets a bowl for the vegetables to go in once they’re cut, turning around and cupping it over his heart while putting on his best pout. “Y’mean… you _lied_ to me about carving some of ‘em? Your dear friend?”

Genji rolls his eyes. “Quit it with the dramatics,” he snarks, but his smile is wide. “Did you really think I have the skill to do any of those intricate pumpkins?”

Jesse shoves at him lightly so he can get past his friend and put the bowl next to the small cutting board. “Nah, ‘course not. Only one of y’all is a surgeon with steady hands.”

“I have steady hands,” Genji protests, sounding mildly offended as he cuffs him back. “I need them for my photography when I don’t have my tripod -- I’ll _prove_ it to you.”

Jesse grins. “Really then? Show me how to quarter these grape tomatoes then,” he challenges, offering the handle of the knife he’s holding out to his friend and gesturing to the cutting board and plastic carton of the small fruits he has all set up. Genji snatches the knife and presses his lips into a hard line, bumping Jesse out of the way with his hip.

“Fine, I will!” he states hotly, and moves to stand in front of the cutting board. He pauses for a moment before he glances Jesse’s way crossly. “Quarter means four, right?”

Jesse snorts back a chuckle. “Yes, darlin’. Quarterin’ means cuttin’ ‘em into four pieces.”

Genji nods with a huff before taking once of the grape tomatoes out and setting it on the slab of wood and pinching it to hold it steady, fingers long against the sides of the fruit. Jesse feels a little nervous seeing it, but it’s fleeting when Genji carefully slices it in half and then longwise before depositing the pieces in the clean salsa bowl. He smiles sharply -- one of the smiles he wears when he wants to rub being right in someone’s face.

“See? Easy.”

Jesse raises his hands in a surrendering gesture. “Alright, you proved me wrong. You can cut tomatoes. But... I still ain’t convinced about those steady hands of yours,” he says playfully, and Genji can’t help himself when he barks a snickering laugh. The sound makes Jesse feel warm on the inside. “Cut about ten of those up for me, and I’ll get those seasonings all mixed up for the chicken.”

Genji salutes him with a wink before he goes back to cutting up the tomatoes, being gentle not to smash them under his knife while he cuts, and Jesse swiftly mixes together the spices he had Genji put on the table earlier into a mix that makes his mouth water even without the chicken. He’s setting it to the side when Genji calls out, “Jesse, I’m done.”

Sure enough, when he goes to check the bowl it’s filled with small pieces of tomato, each similarly sized and piled high. He shoots Genji a smile. “Good job, sweetheart. Now for the onion.” He plucks the red onion from where it’s lying and tears off the outer layers of dry skin before placing it on the cutting board. He takes the knife from Genji, cuts off the ends and slices the whole thing in in half, before taking a step back so Genji can take over again. “Now you’re gonna need to dice this for me. It’s a little different than quartering grape tomatoes.”

“How much harder can it be?” Genji replies smugly, to which Jesse purses his lips to hide a smile. There’s all that confidence Genji was missing earlier. He waits for Genji to take the knife again before starting to instruct him, watching over his friend’s shoulder. “I’ve got this.”

“Follow my instructions then,” Jesse instructs, pulling closer. “Put the onion on it’s flat side and make some cuts along the side, but, uh, don’t cut the whole way through the onion.” Genji doesn’t seem to understand, blade hovering still over the vegetable with his lips pursed and his eyebrows furrowed. Jesse isn’t sure how he’s going to explain any further without demonstrating, so he decides that’s the only way Genji will understand.

He presses closer to Genji, wrapping his arms around Genji’s frame so his hands are overtop of his friend’s to guide his hand. Genji takes a breath, like he wasn’t expecting the intimately hands on approach, but he instantly relaxes into Jesse’s touch and doesn’t fight back when the taller of the two starts to move his hands.

“Like this, sugarplum,” Jesse murmurs, gently steering Genji’s hands to turn the knife parallel to the bottom of the cutting board and make small cuts along the onion that cut through to the board underneath, but only about halfway across the vegetable. Genji makes a sound that shows he understands, but he doesn’t take control of the knife to take over and lets Jesse continue to maneuver him.

Jesse’s heart is hammering so loudly in his chest he wonders if Genji can feel it since they’re pressed together so closely, and hopes it isn’t as loud as it sounds in his ears. Even though he struggles, he keeps his eyes and focus on the food in front of him so he doesn’t end up cutting himself or Genji by not paying attention.

“Now you turn the knife like this,” he continues softly, turning Genji’s wrist sideways so the blade is flat before cutting back into the onion. “And do the same thing this way too.”

“Oh…” Genji breathes, like he’s afraid speaking any louder will shatter the atmosphere they’ve created between them. “I get it. Then all I have to do is cut normally then and it’ll be diced. Simple.”

“You’ve got it, baby,” Jesse smiles, relaxing a bit when Genji takes a little bit of control back and moves his hand to make the final slices, but he doesn’t pull away just yet. He wants to relish this closeness while he still can. “You ain’t such a bad student after all.”

Genji laughs under his breath, movements with the knife more confident and he doesn’t say a word about Jesse being so close even when he wasn’t really doing anything to help him anymore. “You should give credit where credit is due, Jesse. A good student is nothing without their teacher,” he says easily, turning his head to give Jesse a bright smile and time around them seems to stall.

Their faces are mere inches apart, both silenced by the sudden awareness of how close they actually were to one another. Jesse is wordless at the same time he’s frozen -- he can’t move and he can’t speak with how intently Genji seems to study him, brown eyes seemingly searching for something. He doesn’t look confused or put off by their closeness, which Jesse is thankful for, but he almost seems curious as to what will happen next.

And damn it all, but Jesse can’t help himself when he leans forward to kiss him.

He closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to see what Genji’s face does in response, but his lips don’t recoil in shock or horror, so that’s one good thing. It’s only a few seconds that Jesse lets his lips linger, but when he does pull back and open his eyes he finds Genji still fixing him with that curious look. A rush of blood engulfs Jesse’s face.

“M’Sorry,” he stammers out, starting to pull away, but he doesn’t get far when Genji drops the knife to grab him by the collar and jerk him back into another kiss. When they pull away the second time, Jesse is breathless and feeling kind of like he’s been hit by emotional steamroller he can’t recover from. Genji grants him a tiny, pompous smile.

“If you wanted to kiss me so bad, you could have just asked,” he teases, raising an eyebrow. Jesse doesn’t know how to respond to that, flushing harder while his jaw works tirelessly to retort something, and Genji laughs at the expression on his face. “I’ve told you I’m more than fine with making this a casual thing,” he continues, snatching his bottom lip between his teeth as he gives his friend a once over, and the action makes something hot stir low in Jesse’s gut. “I’ve told you. You’re hot, and I have been bored out of my mind just doing things by myself all the time. It gets the job done, sure, but it just isn’t the same.”

This is forbidden territory. This is forbidden territory and Jesse knows it but he can’t seem to say no, the thought of Genji grinding on top of him and leaving hickeys across his chest and body sounding _so_ appealing and he’s buckling under the pressure of that want and need. He comes to his senses only briefly when he catches a whiff of the chicken in the oven. “What about dinner?” he asks, and Genji’s eyes flicker with anticipation when he notices the way Jesse doesn’t outright say no to the offer.

“Hmm… what about it?” Genji replies, avoiding the question as his hands slide down to fiddle with Jesse’s belt and his mouth moves towards Jesse’s jaw. His slender fingers are as deft as they are gentle and Jesse sucks in a shaky breath when he feels them slip between his boxers and his jeans just to tease him.

Focus asshole! “I don’t want to burn the chicken…” he mumbles, shutting his eyes to try and fight against this losing battle. He shouldn’t be doing this and he knows it, and the last piece of his brain that isn’t caught up in the feeling of Genji’s mouth and fingers is screaming for him to get a grip on the situation before he ends up doing something he’ll regret in the morning.

“I’ll make you a deal then, cowboy.” Genji’s lips ghost against Jesse’s skin, voice a near silent murmur and the feeling is enough to have goosebumps ripple across the soft flesh underneath. “Think about it until after dinner, then get back to me. I don’t care either way, so this is completely up to you.”

And then... he pulls away. It almost feels like whiplash, from the nearly suffocating feeling of being so close to being completely alone, and Jesse blinks slowly as he regains a sense of his surroundings. Genji had backed him into the kitchen table and he hadn’t even noticed, a sore spot in his lower back starting to ache from where the edge was digging into his skin. Genji is scooping up tiny cubes of diced onion to put into the bowl with the tomatoes, movements fluid and completely in control.

“What next?” he asks curiously, struggling to get a few little pieces up off the board with his fingers alone, knife abandoned. Jesse wracks his brain for the rest of the recipe in his brain and tries not to get too caught up in the sway of Genji’s hips. It’s almost infuriating how easy Genji can switch gears, while Jesse has to take a few moments to breathe before he’s finally back on track and reaching for the lime.

“Have I mentioned how you’ll be the death of me?” he grumbles as he rolls the lime under his palm on the counter, and Genji actually _giggles_ at the strangled tone of his voice.

“You’re the one who’s so worried about _dinner_ ,” he snorts, moving to the sink to get the smell of onion off his hands. There’s a pause in the conversation as Jesse just juices the lime himself, adding it to the simple salsa before adding some salt and pepper to taste before moving to the sink himself. He feels Genji’s gaze on him the whole time. “Y’know,” Genji finally says, tone indifferent, “Whether we have sex or not, I can still help you out with the issue you have in your pants so you don’t have to wait for it to go away.”

 _Fuck_ , he noticed it. Jesse burns and he shakes his head, trying to ignore the erection he’s sporting in his jeans that he had hoped Genji would have the tact not to mention.

“It’s fine,” he says, voice betraying him when it cracks. He continues drying his hands on the damp hand-towel beneath the sink and shoots Genji a glare. “It’s your fault I got one, ya little promiscuous thing, you.”

Genji raises his hands in a surrendering gesture. “It’s true. I’m just too good at winding people up.” He grins, showing his teeth. “That’s why I’m offering to take care of it.”

Jesse understands the sentiment behind the offer, he just doesn’t want one thing to lead to the next because he isn’t sure if he has the self control to keep himself from wanting more.

But… was that necessarily a bad thing? He glances Genji’s way to see him waiting for an answer, smile waiting on his face. He said it himself: he was fine with this fake dating thing to turn into a casual thing -- there’s just something gnawing at Jesse that keeps whispering about how it wasn’t entirely fake anymore and if he pushed things any further, he might end up in trouble later when it was time to cut things off. Too attached, too in love to really want to end it.

A larger, more selfish part of him is egging him on, wanting to kiss the smug smirk right off Genji’s face and see what his sweat tastes like off his skin.

He sighs. He was never really good at keeping out of trouble. “I must be outta my mind,” he murmurs, mostly to himself, but he crosses over to the stove and turns it off. He knows he could turn back now, just play it off as a joke and go back to keeping that reliable barrier up that’s keeping all of those feelings back.

The temptation is too much. He turns back to Genji and smashes their lips together, and he can taste Genji’s laughter as they stumble back towards his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (:
> 
> as you can see, i've bumped up the rating once again bc next chapter will pretty much be entirely explicit. if you're not comfortable with that, dont worry about missing any plot stuff bc there isn't really going to be any of it next update so just wait for the next one! 
> 
> thank you once again for reading, i'll see you next time!
> 
> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) || [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seemed like a lot of things about Jesse were softer than he let on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'll be totally honest: i forgot it was wednesday until exactly fifteen minutes before midnight, so technically this is late and i'm sorry about that LMAO
> 
> if you're not a fan of nsfw, just skip this chapter and i'll move the next update up a week to make up for the pause!! also i hc genji as trans so he's a trans man in this, so.... yea. lol
> 
> without further ado, pls enjoy!

Genji’s already fumbling with the buttons on Jesse’s shirt when they’re staggering into the bedroom, mouths already on top of one another and barely looking where they’re going. He has to admit he wasn’t expecting his friend to agree to his request -- Jesse never really seemed like the type to have casual flings -- but at the same time he’s feeling his heart race at the familiar feeling of actually being able to have  _ sex _ again. He wasn’t frequenting one night stands as often as rumors said he did before all of this monogamous shit, but it was enough that the past four months have been  _ boring  _ as hell. Jerking off can really only do so much -- there’s just something about having another person next to you in bed that makes it that much more satisfying.

While Genji is a frenzy, Jesse is cautious. He’s very gentle when he slips a hand underneath Genji’s shirt, calloused hands skimming across his chest and hips. It’s actually adorable, Genji has to admit, and he says so while pushing Jesse back into the pillows of the bed. Jesse flushes the whole way down to his chest -- and Genji can  _ see  _ it, his best friend’s shirt opened enough to reveal the brown skin of his shoulders speckled with freckles darkening with rouge. 

“I just wanna do this properly,” Jesse murmurs, ducking his head embarrassedly, and Genji feels a twinge of affection. He climbs over his friend to straddle him and presses a kiss to Jesse’s nose before pulling back to smile at him.

“I am very lucky to have you, Jesse McCree,” he replies softly. Jesse’s eyes widen by a fraction before he leans forward to kiss Genji again, once again soft and warm and Genji can’t help but feel it’s a step back from where they were, so he grinds into Jesse’s crotch to try and speed them back up. Jesse breaks away with a startled gasp and Genji grins at him, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Just let me worry about everything, baby. I’ll take care of you.”

Jesse opens his mouth to argue but Genji doesn’t let him get a sound out, swallowing his words with on open-mouthed kiss that’s as messy as it can be as he fiddles with Jesse’s belt to get it undone. His other hand runs through Jesse’s hair, tangling his fingers through to gently pull his head back enough so Genji can kiss his Adam’s apple.

“This is about makin’ you feel good too, sugar,” Jesse pants, nails scraping against the skin of Genji’s back when Genji sucks at a spot at the base of his throat. “Not just me.”

“Let’s just worry about you first,” Genji replies with a smirk, pulling back to grind against Jesse’s erection once again, who squeezes his eyes and sucks in a shaky breath. He’s sick of his shirt, the cloth making him feel constricted, so he pulls it off so he’s bare chested. The way Jesse looks at him in response makes his heart flutter, but he can’t snark out a reply when Jesse sits up to press a kiss to the middle of his chest, catching the words in his throat. He hates how flustered it makes him feel when he’s usually the one in control in situations like this. “J-Jesse--”

“There’s two people here, sweetheart,” Jesse says bluntly, dark brown eyes gazing deeply up at him as he wraps his arms around Genji’s waist and presses his cheek against his chest. He’s close enough that Genji can count every freckle across his cheekbones and nose. “I ain’t any more important than you are.”

He has to let out a nervous laugh to let out some of the tension that’s building up in his frame. Everything about this is starting to feel like a bad idea, but he isn’t sure why. He’s had plenty of casual one night stands with people he’s considered friends, so why is this one any different? He blames it on Jesse’s softness and pushes his thoughts to the back of his mind as he cups Jesse’s cheeks with his palms.

“I can’t say this isn’t weird for me,” Genji says honestly, raising an eyebrow. “Usually I’m totally in control when people want to fuck me. I’ll tell them what I want and they’ll do it for me.”

Jesse’s lips pull into a cocky smile and he presses another kiss to Genji’s chest. “Think of it this way then, baby doll; you’ll save some energy by not havin’ to waste your breath, and you can fuck me twice as hard.”

The words are the spark that adds flames to the fire in Genji’s soul, and he has to drag himself out of his initial shock to reclaim Jesse’s lips back into a kiss before he laughs. “I can’t fuck you as well without any of my things, but I’ll do the best I can,” he whispers into his mouth, to which Jesse shudders underneath him. “I’m going to ride you until I can’t walk, cowboy. Until then....” He pushes Jesse’s shirt off his shoulders so his friend is shirtless as well, appreciating the soft feeling of Jesse’s chest against his own before shoving him back into a reclining position. He bites his bottom lip to hold down his growing grin as he grinds down again and Jesse lets out strangled moan. “I’m going to suck you off.”

He latches their mouths together again while he shucks Jesse’s belt, experienced fingers getting it off in record time before he pulls away with Jesse’s bottom lip between his teeth, smiling cheekily. Jesse’s still completely red in the face, his body hot in all the right places when Genji presses up against him, and he lets out a keen moan when Genji decides he can’t help himself and he rubs at his cock through his jeans.

“D-Don’t do that ‘till my pants are off,” Jesse stammers, hand running through his hair to get it out of his eyes. Genji has to hold back a growing smile when Jesse chews his cheek while he figures out whatever he was going to say, unable to look his way. “I… don’t wanna cream my pants before we get anywhere, sugar.”

A giggle crawls up Genji’s throat and he’s laughing before he can hold it back -- he can’t help it. “You must have been keeping this in for a while, huh?” he snickers, and Jesse glares halfheartedly at him. Genji shakes his head and presses am apologetic kiss to the soft pudge of Jesse’s belly before beginning to shimmy off the pair of pants from his hips. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I promise I won’t tease you anymore tonight.”

“I’ll hold you to that, sweethea-- oh  _ fuck,”  _ he swears, Genji working his pants off and sucking at a place along his inner thigh while his hands roam across the rest of his legs. Genji takes a moment to appreciate how soft the hair on Jesse’s entire body is; from his arms to his chest to his legs while he leaves a string of hickeys up Jesse’s thighs and hips. He expected it to be coarse, like the thick locks on top of his head -- so the truth is a much welcome surprise.

It seemed like a lot of things about Jesse were softer than he let on.

He finally pulls back from his work to observe it, seeing the beginning of the purple blossoms blooming up Jesse’s thighs, only to hear Jesse laugh a little breathlessly. He glances up to see his best friend with an amused expression despite the hand over his mouth and sweat beginning to collect at his temples. “You like marking people up, don't ya?” he asks, voice a little thin from being wound up tighter and tighter.

Genji licks his lips, showing his teeth in a lazy grin. “How else am I supposed to let people know who’s mine?” he asks, tone velvety smooth, and Jesse’s flushes deeply again and he raises the hand that was over his mouth over his eyes as he lets out a groan of something in Spanish. Genji doesn’t bother to ask him to translate, instead maneuvering himself back down to hover over the bulge in Jesse’s boxer-briefs.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Jesse mumbles for the second time that night, and Genji snickers as he slips a finger under the elastic band of the fabric and starts to tug down, letting his mouth and tongue drag across the skin that’s revealed little by little as he pulls them off. Jesse curses, legs trembling a little. “You little tease, get on with it.”

And there it was. This was always Genji’s favorite part of fucking people, the way he’d do everything slow and languidly to rile people up until they were begging him for some sort of attention, be it his mouth or hand or whatever. Of course, Genji prefers Jesse over any of his usual partners -- many of them aren’t as polite and they forcefully shove him down onto their cock or clit before he can have time to tease them any further.

He decides to be a good friend and pull the underwear off quickly so Jesse’s cock can spring free from it’s cotton constraints, and Jesse nearly sobs in relief. It’s a lovely sound, one that Genji is already aching to hear again, so he takes Jesse’s length in his hand and starts to rub the shaft while he kisses the head delicately. The sound Jesse makes in response is music to his ears, traveling to the wet heat that’s gathering in his own jeans, and he pulls his hand away to dip his head down the whole way over the length until his nose meets the russet curls at base of Jesse’s cock.

His friend gasps, shuddering hard. “ _ Genji _ \-- fuck-- Jesus  _ Christ,  _ you don’t gotta _ \-- _ ” Jesse isn’t even making any sense, words spilling uselessly from his lips as Genji takes the entirety of his length into his mouth, back past his throat, but he still paws at his face to have Genji pull back a little. He listens, bringing his head back up and off and gives Jesse a wicked grin. Jesse takes a second to collect himself before he presses his lips into an embarrassed line. “You... you don’t gotta force yourself, baby--”

“I’m not,” Genji replies cheerfully. “Sure you’re hung, but I’ve got this.” He sticks his tongue out. “I’m a professional. Just let me suck your dick, okay?”

Genji didn’t know Jesse’s face could get any redder, and he isn’t sure which comment was the one to do it, but he doesn’t argue any further and just gives a small nod as he drops his head into a pillow at the head of the bed with a nervous breath in and out. Genji kisses his thigh again just to reassure him before he goes back to work.

As he bobs his head up and down, lapping up precum and hollowing his cheeks to suck down hard, Jesse continues to gasp and moan at every twist or lick of Genji’s tongue. He reminds himself to remember go down on Jesse more often if he gets to hear these beautiful sounds while doing it -- and then his brain starts wondering that if  _ this  _ was just what Jesse sounded like getting a blowjob, then what would he sound like getting fucked? He shuts his eyes at the thought with a groan, lips still wrapped around Jesse’s cock, and he can’t stop his hand that starts sliding down to his clit to help himself get off while thinking about it.

“Wait, stop--” Jesse stammers, and Genji instantly stops what he’s doing and pulls his mouth off with a pop. He looks up curiously, confusion on his face, to see Jesse looking down at him with glossy eyes. “Don’t do that yourself,” he continues, licking his chapped lips as his eyes dart down to the hand that’s starting to dip into Genji’s pants. He looks back up after a second. “Allow me, baby doll. If you’d please.”

Genji blinks, pulling his hand out of his jeans. “You…” he tilts his head to the side before he starts to smile, raising an eyebrow. “You want to eat me out?”

Jesse nods, if not a little shyly. “If you’d let me.”

Once again, the thought that Jesse could be frustratingly adorable strikes him, but Genji keeps it to himself. He doesn’t want to give Jesse the wrong idea after all -- at the end of the day they’ll still be friends, nothing more. Besides, Jesse would be acting this polite if he was doing this with any other person; it’s not like Genji was any more special.

He frowns to himself. For some reason he doesn’t like thinking about that fictional circumstance. Perhaps he does __ get a little too possessive over his sexual partners.

“Genji?” He’s brought back to attention by Jesse staring him down, still waiting for an answer to his request, so Genji smiles wryly as he pulls himself up onto his elbows from between Jesse’s legs.

“Please do,” he breathes, but not before he kisses Jesse hotly in a rush of tongue and teeth. He pulls away just enough to press their foreheads together, grinning widely as he trails his hands down Jesse’s spine. “I think I’m getting used to not having to order people around.”

Jesse’s hands starts fiddling with Genji’s jeans, leaving open mouthed kisses on his clavicle that are soft enough not to mark skin. “You should start thinkin’ about sleeping with different people, sugarplum,” he murmurs after a moment. “You deserve someone who you don’t need to ask for oral reciprocation.”

“Oh?” Genji pants, trying to sound confident but failing, letting out a moan when he feel’s Jesse’s tongue curl around his nipple. He buries his face in his partner’s hair, tangling his fingers through the thick locks. “You mean just yourself then, I suppose.”

“Mmm... if I’m the only one who treats you like this, then maybe you should consider it.” Jesse succeeds in getting his button undone and starts to pull the jeans down, but he doesn’t get very far with Genji practically sitting in his lap. “Lay back for me, baby,” he murmurs near Genji’s ear, and Genji’s heart races at the feeling as a shiver runs down his spine. He nods, head swimming excitedly. 

When his back hits the soft fabric of the comforter, Jesse slides his jeans off and tosses them wherever their other clothes had been thrown before running his eyes over Genji’s nearly naked frame once again. The look is somewhere between adoration and something Genji can’t place, and Genji feels himself shiver as he waits expectantly for him to say something. Jesse breathes deeply and pulls Genji’s hand to his mouth, planting a kiss against his knuckles. 

“You’re... amazing, sweetheart.”

It’s nearly the same exact thing he said to Genji when they had their make-out session at Angela’s place, and once again Genji feels that weird twinge in his chest when he hears it. It’s not a bad twinge, but it’s still there all the same and the expression that Jesse’s making sends a ripple of concern through Genji’s frame. He props himself up, lips pulled into a frown.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “We can stop if you want, it’s okay.”

Jesse shakes his head, giving Genji a sweet smile that almost seems a little sad. “I’m fine. I’m just thinkin’ too hard about nothin’. Besides...” he lowers himself so his face is closer to Genji’s lower half, wrapping his hands around Genji’s thighs to spread them open. His expression changes into one that pulls Genji’s heart into his throat. “I ain’t gonna go back on what I said I’d do for you.”

He presses a kiss against Genji’s thigh, dangerously close to his briefs, and Genji bites down on his lip. “Jesse--” he pleads, and Jesse chuckles.

“You’re awfully wet down here,” he remarks, ghosting a finger down the length of Genji’s underwear, Genji barely feeling the touch and he squirms a little in complaint. Jesse clicks his tongue and he stills even though he feels like he's ready to vibrate right out of his skin. “I haven’t even done anything to you yet.”

“Jess, please--” Genji protests, but he sucks in a sharp breath when Jesse presses his mouth in a soft kiss against his outer lips through the fabric. He flushes at his eagerness -- he’s never gotten this worked up about being eaten out before. He’s starting to understand the flip side of being a tease, and he’s hating it. “C’mon, I wanna feel you, please…”

Jesse hooks his thumbs under the elastic and pulls down with a smug smile, and drags off Genji’s briefs quickly to his ankles. Genji tears them off himself and flings them to God knows where in the room -- he doesn’t look where they land and is too horny to care either. Jesse laughs when Genji scrambles to spread his legs again and fix him with a look, face flushed and heartbeat loud in his ears.

“Eat me out, cowboy,” he demands. “I’m not getting any younger here.”

Jesse returns to his place between Genji’s legs, snickering to himself. “As you wish, darlin’,” he says, kissing the soft skin of Genji’s inner thigh before leaning forward to feast. 

At first that cautious attitude returns, licking up along Genji’s slit to get a feel for the motion, not quite at the intensity that Genji would want, but when he finally feels Jesse’s tongue twist into him, he throws his head back into the sheets with a satisfied moan, fingers curling into the sheets. “ _ Yes-- _ ” he gasps, “ --  _ that’s  _ what I’ve been waiting for.”

He  _ feels  _ Jesse laugh under his breath when he pulls away for a brief moment, kissing his thigh again before bringing his mouth back. He’s inexperienced and it shows, his tongue sort of slow and clumsy and almost  _ agonizingly  _ gentle against Genji’s folds and inner walls, but it’s still hot and wet and Genji is in pure bliss at being able to feel  _ this  _ after so long, groaning in pleasure while he squirms in the sheets. Jesse keeps his hips planted where he needs them to be, thumbs rubbing little circles at the flesh near his hip bone which just adds to the sensations Genji’s experiencing and heightens them.

He reaches down and tangles a hand in Jesse’s hair to push him closer to his clit, pulling his bangs up and out of his face so Genji can see his eyes. Jesse had his eyes shut, but he opens them and peeks up at Genji through his lashes with a smile when Genji moves his hair out of the way before lapping harder around Genji’s clit, Genji dropping his head back against the sheets with a whine.

_ “So good-- you’re so good--”  _ He isn’t really aware of the words he’s mumbling and he’s not even sure if they’re in English -- his brain is too far lost in the feeling of Jesse’s mouth on him. The nerves in his stomach are tingling and tightening in all the right places, and good  _ God  _ he can’t wait to get Jesse’s cock inside of him if just his tongue feels this good. He can’t wait to hear what Jesse sounds like when he pushes in, Genji hot and tight all around him.

His thoughts are shattered when Jesse sucks hard at his clit, and Genji arches his bed off the bed with a sob. He’s feeling much too close to coming now but he can’t find his mouth and Jesse’s just getting faster by the moment like he knows what’s coming so soon. “Close,” he forces out hoarsely, squeezing his eyes shut to try and clear his mind enough from his impending orgasm to get Jesse’s attention. He doesn’t want to come yet since Jesse hasn’t yet either, his earlier blowjob cut off at his request.

Unfortunately, it seems like Jesse has different ideas.

He presses down firmer on Genji’s hips, quickening his pace and focusing mostly at his clit, sucking and lapping and Genji gasps sharply and his thighs start trembling. “W-Wait, Jesse--! Not yet--” he tries to object but he can barely get it out, the breath being punched from his lungs at the intensity that Jesse has started eating him out with. He can feel his orgasm building dangerously fast in his belly and he tries to pull Jesse’s face away but the muscles in his arms have turned to jelly, tugging uselessly while he shudders.

It hits him like lighting and he wails, falling against the sheets and shaking like mad as he comes, but Jesse doesn’t pull away -- continuing to twist his tongue in and around Genji’s folds while Genji is seeing stars behind his eyelids _ ,  _ fisting his hands into the sheets as he sobs when each wave rolls over him again and again since Jesse won’t let up _.  _

Finally, Jesse pulls away and lets Genji’s orgasm begin to fade, Genji still twitching minutely as he stares at the ceiling and sucks down air to try and gain his breath back. Jesse wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and pulls himself up onto his knees.

“You okay there, honey?” he asks, concern evident underneath his smugness, and Genji lets his eyes drag from the ceiling to rest on Jesse’s naked frame. His heart is still racing in his chest, beating hard enough that he can feel it in his fingertips and toes -- and he thinks he _may_ of just had the best orgasm of his life. He's not sure, he can't really think straight right now. He lets a slow grin spread on his face.

“I’m about to fuck you until you can’t talk,” is what he croaks out, and Jesse’s eyes widen. Genji shuts his eyes. “When I can feel my legs again. Give me a minute.” He raises his arms and makes a grabbing gesture with his fingers. “Kiss me ‘till then or somethin’.”

Jesse laughs and leans over him, smooching Genji’s temple before kissing his cheekbone and nose, trailing kisses down until he reaches his lips, and Genji wraps his arms around Jesse’s neck to pull him closer. He isn’t a stranger to tasting himself on other people’s lips, but with Jesse something about it just tastes right.

“I might just take you up on that offer of you being my singular sex partner,” he says against Jesse’s mouth with a grin. “That was fucking amazing.” Jesse laughs quietly in response for a moment before he pauses.

“Careful darlin’,” he murmurs, but the smile on his lips is still the same as he keeps kissing Genji. “I might just end up fallin’ for you.”

_Pfft, as if._ Genji nearly laughs aloud. Love was so much different than great sex, he thinks, even though you could have them both at the same time. Jesse was mixing up his emotions -- there was no way things were going to change between them.

“If you say so,” Genji retorts playfully before he sits up, maneuvering them both so he was sitting on Jesse’s lap. He’s still hard, erection pressed up against Genji’s stomach, and he sucks in a breath when Genji brushes up against it. A thought strikes him and he pulls back to look at Jesse curiously. “Wait, do you have condoms?” 

Jesse flushes but he shakes his head, the expression on his face showing he had forgotten about them. Genji shrugs with a laugh. It figures they’d both forget something. “It’s fine, I have a few in my wallet. Hold on.” He pushes himself off his knees, legs still a little wobbly from his earlier orgasm, and Jesse notices and pushes him back down by his shoulders before scooting off the bed.

“I’ll get ‘em for you,” he says, smiling in exasperation before walking out of the room and leaving Genji alone on the bed. He’s only gone for a moment before returning with the green and blue wallet in question, grinning. He tosses it to Genji, who fumbles it before snatching it off the bed and beginning to dig through it. He pulls one out while Jesse falls back into the pillows and sheets and Genji discards the wallet over his shoulder. He'll have to remember to grab that later.

He holds the foil packet between his fingers with a wicked grin. “You want me to put this on with my mouth? I know how,” he teases, and Jesse’s face goes through three shades of red that makes Genji laugh -- he already had his dick in Genji’s mouth earlier, how was that any different?

“Nah. I, uh, I can put it on myself,” Jesse splutters, taking it from Genji’s fingers and ripping the packet open to roll the condom over his cock. 

That earlier anticipation that Genji was feeling returns when he realizes they’re about to actually have sex, and he waits eagerly for Jesse to show he was ready before scooting back over to sit on Jesse’s lap the way they were laying before, Jesse’s dick upright and in front of him and pressing his friend down into the pillows. 

Jesse looks nervous, and he opens his mouth to speak again. “Is this okay?”

Genji gives him a look. “I should be asking you that,” he replies, and Jesse takes in a deep breath and runs an anxious hand through his hair, chewing his bottom lip. Genji softens, crawling close enough to kiss him gently with his palm on Jesse’s cheek. “It’ll be okay, baby. If you want to stop, just tell me and I’ll stop.”

Jesse returns the kiss, but it seems distracted. “I don’t want to stop. That’s what’s worryin’ me,” he says, and Genji pulls away with his brow furrowed. Jesse seems to fumble over an explanation. “I mean -- I don’t want this affectin’ our friendship in a negative way, I guess. This is all a lot to take in, and....”

Genji frowns, and places his index finger over Jesse’s lips when he continues to ramble. “Jesse, listen to me.” He waits until Jesse’s at his attention before continuing. “No matter what happens, you will always be important to me. No matter what you decide, you’ll still be my most trusted friend and ally. We can keep going with how things are leading, or we can stop now. I don’t mind it either way.” He brushes the back of his hand across Jesse’s cheekbone, giving him a soft smile. “What matters most is your comfort, okay?”

Jesse doesn’t look convinced, reaching up and taking Genji’s hand to lace their fingers together. “I just… I feel like I’m using you, hon. You don’t deserve that.”

A part of Genji’s chest goes cold when he realizes the truth of the situation: that he’s been doing exactly what Jesse was worried about for months now. He’s been using Jesse like a prop; grooming him to appear as the boyfriend his father could approve of and keeping anyone else who knew quiet so he could go on with his life living it the way he wanted. His throat burns, a horrible feeling rising above the earlier excitement and completely crushing it.

“You aren’t using me,” he says after a moment, lowing his eyes in shame. “I’m the one who initiated this. I initiated everything -- if anything  _ I’m  _ using  _ you _ .” 

“That ain’t true,” Jesse counters softly. “Not everything. You offered me an out in every single situation, and yet I kept followin’ after you every step of the way. We both agreed on everything we did -- you didn’t force me to do anything. I’ve never felt like I was being used.”

Genji returns his gaze anxiously. “Do... you mean that?”

Jesse laughs, smile equal parts strained and amused. “Honey, we’re both buck naked and I’m underneath ya. I ain’t gonna lie to you with the fate of my privates in your hands.”

That coaxes a laugh from Genji, tension spilling from his chest like water down a drain. Leave it to Jesse to stop his worry in it's tracks. “That makes me feel better.” He presses a kiss to Jesse’s forehead. “And I promise that you aren’t using me either. Don’t think so much.” He pulls back, lips quirked up into a smile. “Do you want to keep going, or…?”

Jesse bites his lip and nods hesitantly. “I’d like to.”

“Good,” Genji breathes, rutting his lower half across the length of Jesse’s cock to get a noise out of him, biting down a smile when Jesse releases a breath gasp. “I can’t wait to feel you inside of me.”

The combination of the statement and Genji gliding his slit over his length draws out another choked moan from Jesse, and he starts to pant. “ _ Fuck _ , baby -- please--” His hands find their way onto Genji’s hips, kneading the flesh there absentmindedly. “Wanna feel ya--"

Genji figures he’s had enough of teasing him, and he knows he’s wet enough to take him in, so he pulls himself up to position himself over Jesse’s dick, lining up his entrance with its head. And yet, a part of him still feels like teasing. “What is that English saying?” he asks, hovering dangerously close but not moving down just yet as he grins cheekily in Jesse’s direction. Jesse looks at him with an expression hanging on annoyed, and Genji grins harder. “Save a horse, ride a cowboy?”

“Genji,” Jesse states flatly, and that’s when Genji sinks down on Jesse’s cock. Jesse’s complaint turns into a pitiful whine, his hips bucking up involuntarily and Genji struggles to hold his voice back at the action. He feels fucking _great:_ so  full with Jesse’s cock in him, and he relishes the feeling after being empty for so long for just a moment before sliding his hands down Jesse’s chest.

“Should I start moving?” he asks breathlessly, and Jesse nods without a sound, his words stolen right out of his mouth. Genji laughs quietly before he starts to move, pushing himself up to start riding him at a slow pace. His already weak thighs ache in protest, and Genji is slightly miffed he’s so out of practice that he’d feel that way. (Or maybe that was because of his earlier orgasm.) He continues anyway, letting his voice do the talking for how good he was feeling by not holding back his moans. His pleasure is heightened by the quiet sounds Jesse was letting out too, sobs that almost sound like words but he can’t really understand them.

Jesse must have been closer to his release than he was letting on, his hips starting to jerk up on their own to bring him closer faster than Genji could, because his grip on Genji’s hips tighten in little increments as Genji continues to move. Genji wants to laugh but he can’t find the energy to do so, taking heavy breaths as he starts to feel his second orgasm building up as well.

“Baby doll, sweetheart, sugar--  _ fuck  _ \-- I-I’m close,” Jesse forces out, and Genji smiles at him as a line of sweat rolls down his face and tries to keep up the pace even if his thighs are starting to give out a little.

“Me too, me too.” He throws his head back as he gasps when he feels Jesse’s cock press into that sweet spot when he shifts the littlest bit, and he tries to move faster. “God, me too.”

Jesse reaches out and tangles their fingers together with one hand, while the other reaches to rub against Genji’s clit while he moves, and it’s the thing that sends Genji from teetering precariously on the edge to topple over it. He comes with a sharp cry, legs trembling in a shaking mess and he tightens so firmly on Jesse’s cock it sends Jesse into his orgasm as well, hips bucking and whine keen as he grips Genji’s hand so tightly his knuckles turn white.

It takes a moment for both of them to pass, Genji raising his head from where it’s resting on Jesse’s chest when he curled into himself as they both pant in exhaustion. He lifts himself off Jesse’s dick as best as he can, Jesse whimpering at the over-stimulation before Genji’s removed himself entirely.

“Gotta take the condom off,” Genji forces out in warning, only thinking on instinct at this point, and he carefully removes it to save Jesse from any more discomfort and ties it off before rolling over to throw it away. He can’t find the trashcan and he’s starting to feel that post-coital haze of tiredness that’s going to end up making him cranky. “Where’s the trash?”

Jesse doesn’t speak, just gestures to a part of the room and Genji finally sees it, but when he goes to stand his legs refuse to cooperate. He can’t help but laugh. “Fuck me, I can’t stand up.”

“I just did,” Jesse mumbles -- and alright, Genji kind of deserved that, but his friend still sits up and pulls the condom from Genji’s fingertips with a grimace. “Here, I’ll get it.”

“My hero,” Genji cheers sleepily, clapping softly as Jesse tosses it and returns to the bed, falling face down into the sheets with a grunt. Genji squirms closer and presses a kiss to the corner of his face that’s still visible. “That was fucking amazing.”

Jesse laughs tiredly, the sound muffled by the pillows he has his face pressed into, but he turns his head to face Genji so he’s heard when he speaks. His smile lights Genji up on the inside, that happy high feeling after great sex making him think that it makes Jesse even more attractive than usual. “I keep tellin’ you, sweetheart. You’re the amazing one here.”

Genji giggles and flops onto his back, shutting his eyes contentedly. “I’m serious, Jesse; that was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. We are absolutely doing that again -- and next time I'm actually gonna bring my strap on for you.”

Jesse swears, the tips of his ears reddening. “I dunno if I can handle another round just yet.” Genji grins cheekily, waggling his eyebrows, and Jesse's eyes widen before he curses again and lifts himself up off the bed, shaking his head. “I need a cigarette.”

Genji laughs loudly in response and sits up himself. “ _I_ gotta piss. Can you wait for me so I can join you? And borrow a pair of pants?”

Jesse pulls his jeans back on without looking for his underwear, shrugging as he looks for his shirt. “It’s gonna be cold out there, darlin’,” he warns, but he’s already digging through his drawers for a clean pair of briefs and checkered flannel pants at Genji’s request. “I don’t care if you want to come though. I gotta turn the oven on again anyway for dinner.” He tosses the clothing back and Genji starts throwing them on when he catches them. Once they’re on, he stands despite his aching legs and follows after Jesse while they go for the back door to the fire escape that leads out of the kitchen, stopping in the bathroom to do his business.

When he's washing his hands, he takes a look at himself in the mirror and sees that Jesse had left little marks along his collarbone and he hadn't even noticed. To be fair, they're barely visible in the first place and Genji's used to black and blue splotches, but they're still there. He trails a finger over them and smiles before leaving to join his friend at the backdoor.

Jesse unlocks the door when he returns and Genji steps outside onto the grated metal landing of the fire escape, and he’s instantly overwhelmed by the frigid November air. He shivers, wrapping his arms across his bare chest as he turns back to Jesse, who’s retrieving a cigarette and a lighter from a box next to the door.

“Now I know you said it was cold, but I didn’t think it’d be  _ this  _ cold,” Genji says, breath coming out in short puffs, and Jesse rolls his eyes with a cigarette between his lips. He reaches for the serape he has hung up beside the door and throws it across the Genji’s shoulders before stepping out himself, shutting the back door behind him so the heat from inside doesn’t escape. Genji instantly feels warmer and bundles up underneath the warm red of the cloth and gives his friend a thankful smile.  _ “Arigatō.” _

“Ain’t a problem, sugar,” Jesse replies with a wave of his hand, and he lights his cigarette and takes a drag as a silence fills the space between them. Despite being under the warm cotton of Jesse’s most favorite serape, Genji still lingers closer to Jesse for warmth even when Jesse’s trying to keep his distance to keep smoke from blowing in Genji’s direction. Finally, having enough of their dance around each other, Genji huffs.

“Stop moving and put your arm around me,” he complains, and Genji ducks under Jesse’s arm so he can rest comfortably against his chest, looping the arm around his waist. He sighs contentedly when Jesse doesn’t fight him and allows him to stay, a rumbling laugh crawling up Jesse’s throat.

“I’m just tryin’ to be polite about my smoke,” Jesse explains, but Genji shoots him an annoyed glare. Jesse blows smoke out his nose, pursing his lips and raising an eyebrow. “You didn’t need to follow me out here, sugar. You could’ve stayed inside.”

Genji squirms closer, closing his eyes contentedly when he seems to have found the most comfortable position he can be in. “And hear you complain about the cold when you came back in? I don’t think so.” 

Lucky for him Jesse lets him win the argument, just shrugging with another roll of his shoulders. They’re quiet as Jesse has his smoke, taking puffs and still turning his head to blow the smoke in the direction opposite to where Genji was standing. Genji is flattered at the motions despite wanting some of the smoke himself -- briefly daydreaming about what it'd taste like from his friend's mouth. He wonders if Jesse would share if they got to kiss more.

He wastes too much time thinking about it, because it’s not long before Jesse’s done. “Ready to head in?” he asks after he’s put out the butt of his cigarette into an ashtray filled with sand he keeps next to the door, and any disappointment Genji feels is trampled by the realization they won’t have to stand outside for any longer. He nods excitedly and they go back through the door to step back into the apartment. Jesse closes the door behind him just as Genji sighs and stretches comfortably now that they were back in the warmth of inside, and he unwraps the serape from his shoulders before handing to Jesse’s way.

“So much for learning how to cook for Thanksgiving,” he says with a grin, and Jesse takes the serape with a laugh.

“At least you learned how to properly use a knife,” he points out, hanging the cloth back up on the hook next to the door. “That’s what I was mostly worried about. Gabe would have a heart attack if he saw you choppin’ vegetables they way you were before I taught you the right way.”

Genji grins. “You really think he’s gonna make me cut stuff up?”

Jesse snorts before shooting him a look. “If he doesn’t, Ana will. She’s very persuasive.”

Genji thinks he’s going to like Thanksgiving with Jesse’s family. He knows it’ll be more interesting than eating dinner with his own family, despite his improving relationship with Hanzo. “I’m looking forward to this,” Genji says thoughtfully as Jesse crosses over to the stove to turn it back on. Jesse looks back to him, smiling as well.

“So am I, sweet pea. So am I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh genji u poor, misguided fool 
> 
> i'll see u guys next week, thank you for all the continued support!! gosh, 200 kudos........ u all are so kind ;A; and i love and appreciate every single comment you leave me even if i don't reply, i promise!! <3
> 
> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) || [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jesse,” Ana chides. “That’s not friendship.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy yall, heres the next update, a week earlier than normal like i promised! things are starting to heat up and patience is starting to crumble -- a bad mix for anyone trying to keep things together. i'm excited to get the next couple of chapters out ;)c
> 
> please enjoy!!

It’s Thanksgiving Day, and Jesse is anything but calm. He’s done making his pies, they’re halfway through baking and in the oven and he really only needs to worry about letting them cool before they leave -- but that’s just the problem. The other half of that _they_ he keeps self-referring to was nowhere in sight, and to top it all off Jesse hasn’t heard a thing from Genji since last night and his friend is nearly a half an hour late.

He’s probably panicking for no reason. It’s not like he was forgetting to pick him up, as Hanzo said he’d drop Genji off at the apartment on his way to a business meeting.

To be honest, Jesse hadn’t even thought about Genji’s late arrival until he had stepped out of the shower and made his way to his bedroom to put on his clothes, and he had caught sight of something he really shouldn’t have: Genji’s underwear, clean and sitting on top of Jesse’s dresser to give back to his friend when he got there. Forgotten from the last time they had-- well, _slept_ together, Genji had just shrugged it off and worn a pair of Jesse’s to go home in and told Jesse he could just give them back the next time they saw each other.

They hadn’t been able to until now of course, but just seeing them is already sending Jesse’s stomach into tight somersaults as he remembers that hazy night once again. It’s far from the first time he’s stewed over it -- the whole week after the dirty deed he was kept up at night by an unending stream of guilty, regretful thoughts. And yet, he also had the clawing feeling that the other half of his bed was too empty and longed for an arm to be wrapped around his middle or to be able to trace the fluid lines of Genji’s back tattoo with his eyes as he fell asleep.

That, of course, made him feel even more guilty.

He pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind with a tired sigh and goes to look for his phone in case Genji had messaged him and he hadn’t heard it. His apartment smells faintly of cinnamon and sugar from the pastries baking away, which calms him a little as he grabs his phone from where it’s plugged in next to the couch.

There’s nothing from Genji; just a stream of excited babble from Lena and pictures of dogs from the annual dog show from his sister (that Jesse had all seen himself, he had it on while he was making the pie crust.) With a discontent hum and a furrow of his brow, he opens up Genji’s contact and swipes his thumb across the call button before bringing the phone to his ear.

It rings for a moment without any answer, Jesse shaking water droplets from his hair as he goes back to his room to continue where he left off while getting dressed. He forces himself not to let his gaze be drawn to the briefs folded neatly on his dresser and shucks on a pair of jeans, tucking the phone between his shoulder and ear so he doesn’t trip pulling the pant legs up. A few more moments of ringing, and Jesse looks back at the clock to check the time again.

Finally, Genji picks up, voice hurried. _“I’m so sorry, Jesse, I’m on my way now.”_

Jesse lets out a rush of air he didn’t know he was holding as relief fills his chest. “You’re fine, sugarplum. I was just a little worried since I hadn’t heard anythin’ from you yet.”

 _“Yeah, I’m sorry for not sending you a text,”_ Genji apologizes again. His voice sounds kind of strained and flicker of worry nips at Jesse’s heart. _“We, uh--”_ he cuts off for a second and the faint sound of Hanzo saying something sharply in Japanese comes through the line that Genji listens to before continuing. _“We had a-- a little bit of an issue at home we needed to sort out before we left. It’s fine now.”_

Although it sounds like Genji is avoiding giving a name to the issue, and maybe what Hanzo had to say that Jesse couldn’t understand was him telling Genji to keep it between them, Jesse can’t help but be worried about whatever this problem is. “Is everything okay?”

An unnatural laugh that sounds far too forced. _“Yeah, everything’s fine now. It just took us off guard, but we’re on the way over now. It’ll probably be, like, ten minutes or so. We’re not late to getting to your dad’s place, right?”_

“No, we’ve still got time,” Jesse reassures. “I’ve still got my pies in the oven and they’ve got about a half an hour left before I can take ‘em out. Just take your time -- tell Hanzo not to drive too fast or he’ll get pulled over. I can’t imagine he’d take that well since it sounds like things ain’t going your way today.”

Thankfully, that gets a real laugh out of Genji, albeit a quiet one. _“I’ll be sure to tell him. I’ll see you soon.”_

Jesse smiles fondly. “See you soon, baby doll.”

The call ends and Jesse sighs as he tosses his phone to the bed so he can continue to get dressed, grabbing his undershirt to pull on while leaving his dress shirt to lay on the bed. He’s still going to be handling food before they’re ready to go, and he doesn’t want to end up ruining the shirt if he gets something on it before they make their way over, so he tosses the shirt over his arm and makes his way back into the living room after retrieving his phone again.

The television is still on, some B-rated holiday movie with a pair of heterosexual women complaining about one thing or another that Jesse turns off immediately with a wrinkle of his nose. He searches through the channels until he finds one of the ones that only plays music, picking one with a slower acoustic feeling to it and turning it up enough that he’ll be able to hear it from the kitchen before making his way out that way.

He drapes his dress shirt over the back of one of the kitchen chairs at the table before slumping down in it and beginning to flick through his phone to keep himself occupied as he waits for Genji to arrive. Although he doesn’t use many of the apps on it, the one for Instagram catches his eye and he decides to pull it up. He hasn’t touched it after Sombra forced him to follow her all those months ago -- he barely knows how to use it at all and Genji’s really only _told_ him about posting the photos they had talked about.

When the feed pulls up on screen, a row of circles at the top pulse once before retreating to their original shape. It takes Jesse a moment to realize they’re icons of all the people he’s followed -- or to be more accurate, all the people that Genji followed _for_ him. The first one is a small picture of Hana Song, so he taps it once. The small circle expands until it takes up the whole screen, and then a video starts to play.

Hana has the camera on her phone pointed at a mirror, showing off her pink and white striped dress she’s wearing, shifting her hips the slightest bit so the fluffy skirt twirls a little. She grins and flashes a peace-sign, a white cardigan with flowy sleeves that cut off at her elbows swaying softly. Behind her, the person she brought with her to Angela’s Halloween party -- Lúcio, if Jesse was remembering correctly -- is pulling all of his locs into a loose bun on the top of his head before he notices she’s filming them and flashes a smile before the video loops and goes back to the beginning. A line of text on the bottom in loopy script reads _“Happy Turkey Day to all my celebrating fans!”_ with a turkey emoji and several hearts.

Jesse smiles to himself and taps to the right of the screen, hoping it’d take him to whoever’s next.

This time it’s a still photo of Lena and her girlfriend Emily, all bundled up and on their way out the door. Lena is taking the selfie, knitted cap pulled down over her ears and an arm wrapped around Emily’s neck to pull her close. Emily has a green patterned scarf wrapped around her neck and she’s holding a crockpot to her chest. The photo changes, showing a sneakily taken photo of Emily putting the crock in the trunk. The whole photo is dotted with heart stickers that glow and spin, and a caption that says _“love a girl who can lift”_ with a winking smiley face.

He can’t help but laugh at that one, and he doesn’t get a chance to swipe for the next stories before they're automatically playing.

Fareeha’s is simple; just a scenery shot of place she takes her morning run with a timestamp of six AM, and then another skewed one of her in her workout gear as she flexes in front of a mirror, a sticker with the word ‘gunshow” framed by a pair of flexing arms. Sombra’s is a video taken from her bedroom window that just slowly zooms in on a dog being walked across the street, an emoji with hearts for eyes next to it.

The next one is Genji’s, and Jesse’s interest peaks higher than it had been than with any of the others. The timestamp in the corner is from the night before, but it’s a video that pulls up from the floor to show the backsides of Hanzo and Sojiro Shimada at a counter in what Jesse can only guess to be their kitchen. Hanzo’s hair is tied back out of his face and the both of them are wearing aprons, discussing something in Japanese that Jesse can’t understand, but Jesse realizes that’s not what he should be focusing on when Genji raises a fist at the bottom of the frame, overflowing with something that looks like flour.

Realization of what Genji’s about to do hits Jesse hard, and he can’t help his smile. “Oh, honey, you didn’t,” he murmurs just as the video shows Genji launching the fistful of four in Hanzo’s direction and his older brother is drenched in the powder. Hanzo lets out a startled shout, spinning on his heel and looking furious and Genji and their father’s laughter fills the audio in the background. The laughter is contagious, and soon Hanzo turns and grabs his own handful of something out of a bowl in front of him before he turns and grins maliciously before starting a dead sprint on Genji’s direction -- and Genji screams and the video cuts off with a shaky jerk to the ground.

The next video in the story seems to have been taken over by Sojiro himself, as Genji and Hanzo are a tangle of limbs on the the floor as they scuffle. They both have flour all over them along with some sticky substance that looks like dough all through their hair and on their faces, and it’s hard to tell who’s winning from the shaky camera work of their father. Jesse isn’t sure if that’s due to Sojiro laughing so hard or his terminal illness is playing a part, but he forces himself to believe it's the former and pushes the thought to the back of his mind.

There’s one last video of Genji using the front facing camera, face and hair a mess but he looks happy nonetheless with the huge grin on his face. He shifts a little so he can get Hanzo in the background of the shot, who doesn’t look any better, but he smiles a moment before shoving at him when he sees he’s being filmed, adding something in Japanese after he escapes from the shot. _“He’s just mad I won,”_ Genji snarks with a cheeky smile, and Hanzo shouts _“You didn’t win!”_ in the background before Genji sticks his tongue out at him and ends the video with a laugh.

With that, the screen minimizes back into the small circle it had started as, Genji’s icon lining up with the others as Jesse realizes he’s reached the end of the Instagram stories. He hums and decides to explore some more, dragging his thumb to scroll down. It’s a hodgepodge of photos and things he isn’t too interested in seeing, but at the menu bar at the bottom he notices there’s a little red notification bubble over two of the pictures, the one that looks like a heart and another that looks like the profile of a person.

He taps the one with the heart first and a boatload of notifications pop up of various pictures he’s been tagged in and what people have commented on them, and he doesn’t know how to make heads or tails of it so he moves on and taps the other icon in the bar at the bottom, and he’s taken to his profile.

He nearly chokes when he sees the amount of followers he has, nearly two  _thousand_ of them when he’s never made a damn post on the whole page. Jesse feels something strange in the pit of his stomach that's almost sickening, but he pushes through and clicks through the things the app is notifying him to check, and that’s when he figures out why.

There, in the tab that shows all the photos that people have tagged him in, are all the posts that contain the photos Genji’s taken of them on their so-called dates. Genji always boasted about his large social media following, so after he started posting about Jesse there had to have been people who followed him too just because they could. There are far more photos than Jesse ever thought there were, even some that he’s has never _seen_ before, spanning all the while from their first lunch date where they figured out everything to... what looked like their last get together. Jesse’s a little stunned to see a softly framed picture of Jesse in just his jeans, attention fully focused on slicing an avocado at the cutting board in his apartment. Curiosity gets the better of him -- he taps it to read the caption, and what he finds almost makes him puke.

 

_not only are you my best friend, you’re my best love as well. thank you for being the one i get to share all these wonderful memories with -- i love you <3 _

 

Jesse has to close the app and put his phone down, feeling like he’s been burned, that nausea from before coming back up to make him woozy. That couldn’t be real -- there was no chance. Genji was just really good at coming up with captions that were believable enough for anyone else who read them, there was no reason Jesse should be getting this worked up about reading it or feeling sick.

But… what if it wasn’t fake? Genji knew Jesse didn’t check the app, Jesse had told him so. What if he had written out his true feelings on a medium that he didn’t think Jesse would see? Thinking that way makes his heart beat a little faster, feeling a little guilty like he’s seen something he shouldn’t have, but he’s instantly chastising himself when he realizes where his heart is going.

“It’s not real,” he says outloud, a quiet murmur under his breath. “Give it up, Jesse, you said you wouldn’t get hurt.”

Lord _above_ , does he wish it were though. Imagining a day where he can reach for Genji’s hand and hold it close without having to think about doing it for anyone else, pulling him to his chest and pressing a kiss to his temple just because he _wants_ to do it seems like a bittersweet dream -- but he indulges in it while he can. Sleepy spring mornings with Jesse waking up with a companion in his bed, waking Genji up with gentle words and soft touches. Summer afternoons where Genji’s lips taste like fresh peaches and his skin is warm to the touch when Jesse leaves sticky kisses all over his cheeks. Fall evenings bundled under blankets and getting too lost in each other to pay attention to the movie on TV.

It aches more than it comforts, and Jesse ends up hunched over the table with his head in his hands, wishing for a universe where he had said no to his best friend’s request and he didn’t have to suffer under these horrible feelings he’s saddled with.

The knock on the door is enough of a sound to pull Jesse out from his day-dreaming, and he draws himself up from his chair and tries to gather himself the best he can, taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair before making his way to the door.

Of course, there couldn’t be any other person behind the door. What stops Jesse in his tracks when he opens the door to his apartment however, is the Genji on the other side of the door doesn’t look like the Genji that Jesse remembered, nor the one from the Instagram story he had just witnessed minutes ago. He gapes.

“Your… your hair,” Jesse states, and Genji looks a little frazzled for a moment before smiling nervously. He reaches up to touch the newly dyed black locks with the hand that isn’t wrapped around a large bag hanging at his side.

“Oh, yeah. That,” he says, looking like he felt out of place. He looks away, face reddening a little bit as he laughs. “I, uh, thought it was time for a change. My roots were growing in and I was a little sick of the green. Hanzo helped me with it this morning; that’s why we were running late. He told me I should surprise you for whatever reason.” He returns his gaze back to Jesse, shifting his weight to his other leg. “Does it look okay?”

“Of course it does,” Jesse blurts before he can help it. “You always look good, baby doll.” He isn’t lying either; the black dye that Genji’s chosen is a black that shines blue when the light hits it just right. It’s mesmerizing -- Jesse just wants to pull his fingers through it.

Genji blinks before he smiles widely. “Oh cool, thanks. Hanzo suggested I go for a more natural color this time, so I picked one that was close enough to my hair color for his tastes that still had a little bit of flair.” He seems to remember what he’s carrying in his bad and he holds it up in front of him. “I brought dango! My father and Hanzo actually helped me make it last night.”

Jesse shakes off the most heavy part of his infatuation and smiles as he steps to the side to let his friend inside. “Oh, I saw your video on Instagram. You fought bravely,” he jokes, offering to take the bag of desserts from Genji’s hands so he can take off some of the extra layers he’s wearing to be more comfortable. Genji’s eyebrows raise, looking surprised.

“You actually saw that?” he asks incredulously, unraveling his scarf and hanging it up on the line of hooks by the door. “I thought you weren’t going to use Instagram.”

Jesse shrugs, politely waiting for Genji to finish as he peeks at the dango in the bag he’s taken off of Genji’s hands. “I had some time to kill while I was waitin’ for you. Thought it’d be as better a time as any.” The skewered dumplings are white and pale green, three to each skewer in a pattern of one green on either end and white in the middle, and there are several trays filled with them laying in the bag alongside an unopened box of matcha. “These look mighty fine, hon.”

Genji smiles brightly as he slides off his winter coat. “More specifically, they’re _chadango,_ or the green-tea flavored ones. I would have made _Hanami_ dango since they’re a little more colorful, but Father chided me and told me those were specifically for the holiday. These are just as good though.” Genji inhales deeply when he gets his shoes off, nose raised in the air. “It smells amazing in here, by the way.”

Jesse hands the bag back to Genji when he reaches for it, and they start making their way into the kitchen. “It ain’t nothin’ special, darlin’, just an old fashioned apple pie and pecan pie. I got about fifteen to twenty minutes ‘till I can pull ‘em out and we can leave a little after that. I’m just gonna throw ‘em in the back out of my truck so they can cool the rest of the way on the ride over.”

“So that gives us fifteen to twenty minutes on our own?” Genji asks curiously, smiling devilishly as he places his bag on the kitchen table. Jesse feels his heart tremble, knowing exactly what Genji was getting at as a heat fills his bones. If it were any other day, he’d probably indulge in it too -- that’s how far he’s wrapped around Genji’s little finger. He grants a small smile and tries to avoid the subject.

“Speakin’ of that, I got your pair of unmentionables for you so you can take ‘em back,” he says, leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms folded across his chest. “They’re all clean, so don’t you worry.”

“Such a southern gentleman,” Genji says cheekily, crossing over to place his hands on Jesse’s hips. He leans forward and presses a kiss to Jesse’s cheek, lingering there. He smells like jasmine and something sweet Jesse can’t place and he bites his cheek to keep his tongue in check, allowing himself to move his hands so they’re pressed into Genji’s shoulders. Not entirely pushing him away, but making sure he’ll be able to keep his distance if he decides it’s necessary. Genji hums. “Too bad I can’t say the same about yours.”

“Really now?” Jesse questions, tone bordering on amused. It’s almost cute how Genji feels he needs to flaunt in front of him when he could have any part of Jesse he wanted if he just asked, but then again he’s feeling his resolve to _not_ have a quicky with his best friend an hour before having to see his family for the rest of the evening shake at it’s foundations. He isn’t quite ready to deal with the insuing Walk of Shame. Still, curiosity gets the best of him. “And why is that, sweetpea?”

Genji pulls his head back so they’re face to face. His smile’s turned smug. “‘Cause if you want them back, your gonna have to take them off yourself.”

Oh, Jesus Christ, he was _wearing_ them. There’s that flutter again, deep in his gut, and it takes all of Jesse’s willpower to stamp it back down from the depths of Hell where it came from. Damn him. _Damn_ Genji and his ability to push all the right buttons to have Jesse at his knees and begging like a dog. He sighs, shaking his head as he cups Genji’s cheeks with his hands, but he still smiles. “You’re a damn hellion, you know that, sweetheart?”

“I’ve gotten that before,” Genji muses, that lightheartedness returning at the edge of his gaze and Jesse laughs before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I’ll be honest, honey. If it were any other day I’d let you have your way with me,” he says when he pulls away, raising an eyebrow. “But today is Thanksgiving and I’m gonna be in a house with Ana Amari for several hours, and she’s got the senses of a hawk and then some. She’ll be all over me if she figures anything out, and that’ll tip Gabriel off to somethin’, and just…” he pauses to grimace. “That ain’t a good mix.”

Genji laughs. “That’s fine with me. I was mostly just teasing, but now I know that any other day you’d be up for it is....” He leaves it at that and leans up to leave a quick kiss against Jesse’s mouth before he finally pulls away to give Jesse some space. “So if we’re not going to keep each other busy, what else are we going to do for fifteen minutes?”

A wry smile twists itself onto Jesse’s face. “We can talk. Y’know, like normal people.”

“Boring,” Genji says with a pout, but he’s being sarcastic. He rests his head on Jesse’s shoulder, sighing contentedly as he wraps his arms around Jesse’s neck. “I’m fine with that. What did you want to talk about?”

There’s only one thing that’s on Jesse’s mind; he’s just not exactly sure how to bring it up without sounding suspicious. He hums, circling his arms around Genji’s waist. “You sure got a way with words, hon. On those Instagram posts, I mean.” He grins when Genji looks his way curiously, if only to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. “Someone would think you really _were_ in love with me if they didn’t know any better.”

A cat-like smile on Genji’s face. “Isn’t that the point, though?”

Jesse’s stomach twists, he feels his grin twitch. So his imagination _was_ running farther than reality could catch up to it. “Yeah, yeah. I was just complimenting your ability to bullshit.” He pauses a moment as Genji laughs, searching for a new conversation topic since he would rather drop the one they’re having right now. “So... got any eyes on anyone you’re interested in when you get the all clear from your folks?”

“What?” Genji snorts, giving him a gaze that nearly looks offended. “Absolutely not. I haven’t been looking since I’m supposed to be dating you -- I’m not a cheater.”

Jesse flushes in embarrassment and instantly tries to backtrack. “That ain’t what I was tryin’ to say and you know it. I was just curious to see if you had a crush on anyone or anythin’.”

Genji pulls away, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why do you care?”

 _Because I’m in love with you and I need to see if this isn't completely one-sided._ The words hover at the edge of Jesse’s tongue, shifting in tone and wording because he doesn’t know whether or not if he really wants to say them. If he did, he’d be getting the one thing he’s been mulling over for weeks now out of his brain and maybe find some peace of mind. The only thing that’s stopping him is that same irrational fear that Fareeha told him about when she worried about telling Angela about her own feelings: that Genji would feel taken advantage of and want to end their relationship completely.

Luckily enough for Jesse, he isn’t left much time to think too hard; the timer for the stove goes off and they both nearly leap out of their skin at the sound. Looks like he misjudged how much time was on the timer: but he can't help but feel grateful for it. Jesse lets out a breathless laugh and goes for his oven mitts.

“Like I said -- I’m just nosey,” he lies, sliding the mitts over his hands and opening the oven to retrieve the pies. They look cooked to perfection, the crusts on each of them a golden brown as heat billows out from the inside of the oven. He pulls them both out and sets them on top of the cooling racks before turning back to his friend. He forces a sly smile. “I saw how close you really are with Zenyatta. Has that ever crossed your mind?”

Genji leans on the countertop. “Zenyatta’s too good for me,” he says wryly. “Maybe in another life I could fall for him, one where I’m not such a little shit, but not in this one. Besides, I’m not really into fucking my boss.”

Jesse snorts as he shakes his head. “You’re terrible.” At least that’s cleared up one thing for him, that stupid pit of jealousy that’s been nagging at him after witnessing how close he and Genji were when he saw them at the flower shop. He knew it was stupid to stew over but the selfish and wild part of him left over from his teenage years was rearing its ugly head, and it’s hard to ignore it when it was biting at his ankles.

“My relationship with Zen aside, I want to know why you’re bringing this up all the sudden,” Genji presses, tilting his head to the side with a grin. “This isn’t really stuff you talk about. Do _you_ have a crush on anyone? Is it someone I know?”

Jesse can’t help himself -- he laughs aloud, hoping it doesn’t sound too hurt. “That’s funny, sweetheart, but no.” He thinks his infatuation is a little more than just a crush at this point, so he isn’t lying. He takes off his oven mitts and throws them into the drawer he retrieved them from before taking the seat at the kitchen table before Genji arrived. “Like I said, I just like getting in your business, nothin’ more.”

Genji laughs. “Fair enough. That means there’s more of you for me.”

His heart betrays him by skipping happily, and Jesse leans back in the chair with a quiet sigh. “You almost ready to go? Like I said, I’m just gonna leave the pies in the back of the truck to cool on the ride over.”

“I’m ready, but you should probably put your shirt on,” Genji points out, and Jesse blinks before realizing he was right. He flushes and scrambles for the shirt on the back of his chair with a swear while Genji laughs again. “As much as I enjoy getting an eyeful of your arms, I don’t know how much your family would.”

Buttoning up his shirt, and heart continuing to sing in bliss at the compliment, Jesse stands and stuffs his shirttails into his pants to tuck them in. “C’mon, grab your things so we can head out. Gabe will have my head if we’re late,” he says, and Genji gives him a little salute before leaving to get his coat on.

They move quickly enough, and they’re lucky enough to avoid traffic on the ride over as well. They’re mostly quiet as they drive, Jesse more nervous about the dinner that evening than really anything else. Genji is fiddling with the radio and tapping on his phone, pointing out things here and there about whatever until they finally pull up in front of the house.

They have to park out front, as the rest of the driveway is filled up. Jesse parks his truck and takes a deep breath when he turns it off to try and gather himself. He gives his friend a look. “I’m already sorry for whatever happens tonight,” he says, and Genji gives him a smile as he reaches over and gives Jesse’s hand a squeeze.

“It’s just your family,” he replies confidently. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Jesse appreciates the comforting gesture, but he barks a laugh and runs a hand through his hair. “You just sayin’ that shows how unprepared ya are for tonight. It’ll be a miracle if everything goes well without a problem.” He still turns his hand to thread their fingers together, sighing. “That aside, thank you for comin’ with me tonight. It means a lot.”

“Of course,” Genji replies, looking a little puzzled, but he doesn’t say anything more and lets Jesse have a moment before he pulls away and they exit the truck.

When they step outside, the front door is already open and Gabriel is waving at them to come inside. “It’s cold out here, hurry your asses up!” he says loudly so he can be heard from across the front lawn, and Jesse and Genji quicken their pace as they get their desserts out of the back and jog to the door. Gabriel lets them both in before shutting the door behind them and opening his arms in a hug.

Jesse maneuvers the pies he’s holding into one hand so he can return the hug with one arm, Gabriel patting him on the back firmly. “Howdy, Pops,” he says, when he pulls back. “I brought some pies.”

Gabriel grins. “I can see that. One of them better be apple or Hana will kill you, y’know,” he says jokingly before turning to Genji and gesturing for another hug. “I’m glad you could make it, son. Jesse was pretty adamant to you coming with him.”

While Jesse burns in embarrassment, Genji smiles brightly as he falls in for Gabriel’s welcome hug, and he makes sure to shoot an amused look at Jesse over Gabriel’s shoulder. “I’m glad I could celebrate with you too! I even brought some food of my own to add to the mix, but they’re more suited for dessert too.” They pull away from each other and Genji opens the bag to show off the trays lined with the dumplings. “Tadah! _Chadango_ for everyone. I hope I brought enough.”

Gabriel looks impressed. Jesse can’t help but notice he seems more happy than he remembers -- finally moving in with Jack really was the right thing for them both. “There should be plenty. You really didn’t need to trouble yourself, but we appreciate it. The more food the better with this many mouths to feed.” He smiles. “Thanks, kiddo.” He reaches out with his hands. “Here, give me your coats so I can hang ‘em up for you.”

“Gabriel, is that Jesse?” Ana’s familiar voice rings out from the kitchen as they’ve gotten their coats off, and just hearing it sends Jesse’s earlier nerves back on edge.

“Yeah, he and his boyfriend just walked in the door!” Gabriel shouts back, and Jesse cringes at the wording only because he knows he’s about to get an earful from Ana for not introducing her to Genji sooner. When he hear a boisterous voice shout _“Boyfriend?!”_ in response, his heart sinks even further; Reinhardt hadn’t been introduced either yet. His father grins smugly in his direction, aware of the way he worded his statement, and jerks his head towards the kitchen. “Go on, take those in and introduce Genji to the rest of the family. It’ll finally take the attention off of Fareeha and her new girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Genji repeats, sounding surprised, and he and Jesse exchange confused glances. “I haven’t heard anything about that.”

Gabriel shoves at them gently. “Then _go_ and introduce yourselves. Jack told me I’ve got to go and find where Hana’s hidden herself since he’s busy with the turkey. I’ll be back with her and Lúcio whenever I find them.”

Jesse smiles weakly before heading towards the kitchen, Genji tentatively on his heels. It smells absolutely heavenly the closer they get, and soon when they step into the room the busy sounds of the cooking reach their ears as they’re greeted by another big portion of Jesse’s extended family situated all around the room.

Fareeha is sitting across the way from Reinhardt at the kitchen table, face redder than Jesse’s ever seen and lo and behold, Angela Ziegler is seated next to her with a pair of bright blue eyes and an amused smile gracing her face. Genji laughs loudly before Jesse can say a word, and all eyes are drawn to the two of them standing in the doorway in response.

“Jesse!” Fareeha cries audibly in relief as she leaps to her feet. She looks ready to bolt, and knowing how Ana and Reinhardt can both be, Jesse is surprised she hasn’t grabbed Angela and ran for it already. “I’m so glad you’ve made it! Let me get those for you!” She’s grabbing for the pies before he can get a word in edgewise, seemingly thankful for the distraction. Angela appears after Fareeha leaves, still smiling, and Jesse just gives her a knowing look and a hug.

“I’m glad you two seem to have figured everything out,” he says, pulling away, and Angela laughs brightly with an embarrassed hand on her cheek.

“Of course! It wasn’t very long after you left that we had a chat.” She steps away from Jesse only to be scooped up in a hug by Genji, picking her up around her waist and spinning her around effortlessly at they both laugh.

“I knew it. I _knew_ it!” He cheers, setting her back down onto her feet after a moment and squishing her cheeks. He struggles to look serious, but it’s hard to read it that way with the huge grin on his face. “You should have told me before now, _curse_ you Ziegler!”

“We wanted to surprise everyone!” Angela easily deflects, pushing his hands away with a smirk and a delicate eyebrow raised. “Like you and your cowboy did -- consider it payback for not telling me about _you_ two until it happened, Shimada.”

Jesse isn’t left alone long, he’s stolen away in his own bone-crushing hug from Reinhardt when he isn’t paying attention. “It’s been _too_ long, Jesse my boy! Why haven’t you called us?!” the larger man asks heartily, already booming with that infectious laughter of his. Jesse pats him on the back before he’s allowed to pull away, wheezing a little.

“I’ve had my hands full,” he says -- and even though it looks like Reinhardt believes it, he sees Ana’s all knowing eye staring right into him as she steps from behind the hulking German man. It almost causes him to shudder, but he plasters a smile on anyway. “Happy Thanksgivin’, Auntie. I missed ya.”

The older Egyptian woman has her arms folded across her chest, a silver eyebrow raising above her good eye. “If you missed me so much, you could have just visited.” She still opens her arms for a hug, which Jesse instantly accepts as to appease her. “I know you’ve been busy with that new job, but you should still make time for me, dear.”

“I know, I know. M’sorry, ma’am,” he says as he pulls away, and she finally seems done with teasing him and smiles enough that her eye crinkles at the corner. She directs her attention to Genji, who’s waiting patiently for his time to be brought up in conversation before looking back at Jesse.

“I take it this young man is your boyfriend?” she asks, and Reinhardt lights up beside her when Jesse nods, instantly enveloping Genji in a hug that seems to make Genji disappear while he begins to talk excitedly to him in that booming voice of his. Jesse waits for Ana’s approval, nerves bouncing around in his chest while she takes a moment to take it in, eye trained on his best friend as she seems to deliberate something over with herself. Her mouth turns into a displeased frown, eye turning Jesse’s way -- and Jesse’s stomach drops into his feet, words of explanation already leaping into his throat.

“We’ve been dating since August,” he chokes out, almost feeling like he’s about to start sweating. With the way Ana’s looking at him, he figures he just might. “We’ve been friends for much longer than that, remember? It seems we both had crushes on each other and things just worked out.” He laughs a little and hopes it doesn’t seem too forced.

She doesn’t look convinced, but she nods. “I see,” is all she says in reply, and that’s when Jesse knows he’s fucked. Ana’s always been able to discern his secrets no matter what they had been in a way that Jesse hasn’t been able to figure out even after all these years. Maybe it’s magic, or just her incredible intuition, but either way Jesse knows they’ve been discovered just moments after meeting Ana face to face. He can't help but think this was half of the reason why he’s been putting this off for so long.

Luckily enough for him, she doesn’t seem to think it’s time to reveal their secret to the two. She still smiles warmly at Genji and gives him a hug. “It’s wonderful to finally see you again, Genji. The last time I saw you, you were barely any older than Hana or Olivia.” She kisses his cheek. “How time flies.”

Genji bobs his head in agreement, completely oblivious to Ana’s earlier comment and Jesse’s flipped mood. “It’s nice to see you again too,” he says, a charming smile on his face. He picks his bag of Dango up from where he placed it on the floor and holds it out towards her. “I know it’s not much, but I brought something for dessert.”

“How thoughtful,” Ana says, peeking through the bag before taking it and handing it to Reinhardt towering next to her. “Dear, can you take these and put them with Jesse’s pies? I want Jesse to come and look at the car like I’ve been telling you.” She trains her gaze on Jesse and it’s clear it’s not an option for him to come or not -- it’s mandatory. He swallows thickly.

“Absolutely! It won’t take too long, right?” Reinhardt asks, accent thick as he steps around the kitchen table to get to where Fareeha is messing with things on the island counter. Ana doesn’t take her eye off of Jesse, giving a stiff smile.

“No, I don’t think this should take too long at all. Come now, Jesse, it’s just out in the garage,” she says, and takes off towards the door to take them to where the car is waiting. Jesse gathers himself and shoots a smile Genji’s way. He’s hoping it doesn’t look as strangled as he feels it is.

“Be back in a few, sugarplum,” he says thickly with a raised hand. “It’s probably just the transmission again.” Genji nods with a concern in his eyes and a little wave himself, but he doesn’t question Jesse’s obvious nervousness.

“I’ll be here,” he says, returning Jesse’s smile with one of his own.

Then Jesse follows Ana out past the kitchen and laundry room to the garage door, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously and craving one of his nice cigars he keeps at home. He doubts the reason Ana’s called him out here is to check her car -- no, she’s got him alone so she can interrogate him without anyone else overhearing. Sure enough, when he shuts the garage door with a click, he turns around to find her seated at Jack’s tool bench, arms folded across her chest and legs crossed. He swallows again.

“Tell me, Jesse,” she says, her tone firm, “Why did you bring young Mr. Shimada with you tonight? You and I _both_ know the two of you aren’t really dating.”

Jesse opens his mouth to lie, but he shuts it just as fast when he knows lying will just end up making his situation all the worse -- Ana always knows when he’s lying, and he’s already learned his lesson about not telling the truth when Ana’s the one he’s talking to. He sighs, crossing over to lean against the front of Gabe’s car as he folds his hands together in front of him. Might as well have someone to explain everything to.

“It’s… a favor,” Jesse says vaguely. Ana just continues to give him the same stern look, so he continues. “Genji’s family’s sort of old fashioned. He wasn’t actin’ in their best interests, so they were discussin’ an arranged marriage for him and he didn’t want that.” He gestures to himself. “He came to me to help him out. Pretend to date him ‘till they got off his back.”

“So let me get this straight,” Ana states, raising a hand to have him pause in his explanation. “You agreed to pretend to date this boy for as long as he needed you so he didn’t have to get married?” The simple explanation makes Jesse’s mouth dry, but he nods. That same displeased frown returns to Ana’s face, and her hand drops to rest on her thigh again. “May I ask why you are alright with him using you like this?”

Jesse drops his gaze to the concrete floor of the garage. “He ain’t using me… I’m only doin’ this ‘cus he’s my best friend.”

“Jesse,” Ana chides. “That’s not friendship.”

He frowns, that loyalty towards Genji flaring like a brand, and he nearly shoots a glare in the older woman’s direction when he looks back at her. “I wasn’t about to let him marry some person he’s met once just because his family doesn’t like the way he lives,” he snaps, before he stops himself and scrubs at his face. “Sorry I raised my voice at ya. He didn’t force me into anything. I chose to do this and I’ve gotten this far without having anyone else figure it out-- as long as ya don’t tell Gabe or anyone else about this.”

A few moments go by without Ana saying anything as she sits there, studying Jesse before she sighs, tilting her head to the side. “He must mean something more to you than just a friend if you’re willing to go this far to keep him happy,” she murmurs. “Tell me the truth, dear, and take as long as you need to answer. What does Genji Shimada mean to you?”

He almost repeats his statement of friendship he had said earlier, but he stops when he sees her expression. Ana isn’t looking at him with anger or disappointment at the truth of his situation; she just waits for an answer patiently, the lines of age on her face soft and her gray hair peeking out from under her headscarf. She’s only worried about him, Jesse knows this, so she’s deserving of the truth. He fidgets, looks at his feet, and tries to find the words to begin to explain.

“When… when we started this whole thing, that’s all he was. My best friend.” Jesse holds his palms out. “I didn’t think that anythin’ would ever change between us. We had been friends for so long, maybe I thought if anything was _going_ to happen it would have happened already -- so when he asked me to pretend to date him to avoid his folks, I agreed as his friend.” He clenches his fists. “I was foolin’ myself.”

He sighs, his hands reaching up for his neck in his nervous habit. “After awhile, I started feelin’ strange when I was around him. Overly cautious about touchin’ him or anything. I knew that if we were supposed to be together we’d end up kissing at some point, but when it happened it felt… right?” He sighs. “It felt nice and I wanted to keep kissing him, but that in itself felt wrong since he was supposed to be my friend! Friends don’t do that. It wasn’t until Halloween I realized that… Genji’s more than just a friend to me now. I fell in love without even realizing it.” He looks back up at Ana to find her still listening silently, her expression unchanged. Jesse feels his throat tighten but he still forces out the words that are clogged in his throat. “He’s more than just somethin’, Ana. He’s… everything to me. My best friend, my best love -- all of it.”

Ana doesn’t say anything for a moment, making sure that Jesse is done speaking before she takes a deep breath. And _smiles._

“You really are so much like Gabriel it blows me away,” she says wistfully, placing her hand on her chin. “It’s like looking in a mirror.” Jesse blinks, confusion evident on his face and she actually laughs at him. “Don’t act so surprised, young man. I’ve known your father for many years ever since our army days, and I’ve been present for _all_ of his and Jack’s romantic drama. You sound exactly like he did back then: saying you didn’t realize you were in love with your closest friend until it was too late.” She laughs quietly, shaking her head.

Jesse is having a hard time finding words, fumbling over them before he just shakes his head. “Pardon me, but what are you talkin’ about, Auntie?” he asks, his voice strained.

Ana clicks her tongue and uncrosses her legs as she stands, gesturing for him to get to his feet as well. “I’m saying that it makes sense that you’d end up falling for the Shimada boy. You put your faith in someone that you trust, and they returned all that faith and trust to you without expecting anything in return. And you love the people that you let close _so_ very deeply, my dear -- I know that.” She brushes some fringe from his face, tucking it behind his ear in a motherly gesture. “Although I don’t think you made the right choice in agreeing to this fake-dating, you did what _you_ felt was the right thing to do, and that’s what matters. However--” She pauses to take his right hand in both of her own as she squeezes, her expression hardening. “I’m saying this as someone who has seen relationships turn sour due to unspoken tension. You must tell Genji about how you feel, or put an end to this relationship. It’s not healthy for you to keep doing this to yourself.”

It’s like a slap to the face. Jesse can’t find the words to express himself. “What-- I don’t want to--” he pauses a moment to collect himself, face flushing. “How am I supposed to just end this? For all he knows, everything between us is fine. _Great_ , even. I don’t want to ruin that.”

Ana purses her lips, pressing a hand to his cheek. “You’re hurting yourself more by staying in this relationship, Jesse. Just be _honest_ with your feelings: tell him how you really feel. If he really is your friend, he will understand.”

If only it were so simple. Jesse almost feels like laughing at the irony of it all. To think a few weeks ago he was comforting an Amari because of her relationship issues, and now he was _being_ comforted by an Amari because of his relationship issues -- he can’t tell if he wants to laugh because he’s so upset or if it’s actually funny. He doesn’t though.

“Promise me you’ll talk with him after you leave,” Ana says, bringing his attention back to her. She gives him a sad look. “This relationship isn’t fair for either of you. Promise me.”

Jesse meets her gaze and feels himself crumble. He could never lie to her even if he wanted to, and even if he wanted to, he knows what she’s saying is what’s best for him.

“I promise,” he murmurs.

Ana senses the resistance in his promise, but she doesn’t bring it up. He pulls him into her arms with a sigh and hugs him gently, her head tucking under his chin. “It’ll be scary, but it will all work out, my dear. I know he cares about you too.”

He doesn’t doubt that Genji cares, he just doesn’t think it’s as much as he wants. Jesse just lets Ana hold him as his mind goes haywire when he realizes that after tonight, when he takes Genji home, his relationship with his best friend will have to change.

He’s just scared that it won’t be in the direction he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ana no nobody is ready for this. please. ;q;
> 
> thank you for your continued support, i'll see you all soon!!
> 
> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) || [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When do we eat?” he asks quietly, and Jesse laughs.
> 
> “Not until Gabe or Jack gives the toast. I think it's Gabe's turn this year,” Jesse explains as he sits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy wednesday everyone! the thanksgiving shenanigans continue this chapter and genji starts to doubt himself. 
> 
> please enjoy!!

Genji waits with Angela and Fareeha in the kitchen, taking a seat at the table and catching up with them and Reinhardt while he waits for Jesse to come back. Although Fareeha and Angela are easy enough to deal with, the one in the room that stands out the most is definitely Jesse and Fareeha’s uncle Reinhardt. Genji had met him a few times before tonight, but the last time was so long ago he’s forgotten how much _energy_ you really spend speaking with him. Genji is very much an extrovert, but even he’s struggling as he tries to keep up.

The German man asks about a lot of things; of Genji’s family and occupation and how he and Jesse had gotten together -- and Genji obliges in answers, but he can’t help but be distracted by the length of time that Jesse spends with Fareeha’s mother out in the garage. It’s not that he feels awkward in a home that’s not his own, it’s just he keeps thinking about the face Jesse had been making before he had left. He had caught it before Jesse had gone, and it made him feel nervous for some reason.

Thankfully, he finally catches sight of Jesse following after Fareeha’s mother when they return to the kitchen after a little while. He stands when Jesse enters the room, shooting a concerned look Jesse’s way when he sees his friend looking mournfully at his feet.

“Welcome back!” Reinhardt cheers, standing to get to Ana’s side as she moves to the stove to stir a pot. “Did you get an answer about the car?”

Ana laughs and turns a knob on the back of the stove to mess with the heat. “It was something I was doing wrong, believe it or not! Jesse told me how to fix it, didn’t you dear?”

Jesse jumps a little at being mentioned, making his way to stand next to Genji. “Yes ma’am. I did.” Genji can’t help but notice Jesse isn’t standing as close as he usually does when he’s next to him, and his worry spikes a little. Did something happen? As Fareeha starts chiding her mother, he takes an opportunity to whisper to Jesse; the others are getting caught up in the Amaris, they won’t notice his and Jesse’s exchange.

“Are you okay?” he asks, reaching for his friend’s hand in a comforting gesture, but Jesse pulls his away with a smile. It’s not like one of his usual smiles -- something is off about it and Genji is upset with the thought that he can’t decode it. Jesse nods.

“I’m fine, hon. Don’t worry about it,” Jesse replies, turning his gaze to focus back on his family, and Genji frowns. Frustration tugs at his heart -- he wants to get to the bottom of what’s bothering Jesse by the end of the night, even if it kills him. He focuses on that train of thought instead of the strange and sudden hurt that wells up in his chest since Jesse doesn’t want Genji to touch him, and tries to think.

He isn’t given much time to when the back door slides open, Jack Morrison stepping inside in an apron that says _“Raise the Steaks”_ and holding a pair of tongs. He readjusts a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose. “Did Gabe find my daughter?” he asks, and he receives a chorus of no’s as he sighs. It’s apparently not that important, because when he catches sight of Jesse and Genji he nods in their direction and changes the subject. “Glad you could make it, boys. It’s nice to see you.”

Genji and Jesse return the sentiments and Jack turns his attention back to Ana, crossing the room to stand behind her. “How are things shaping up with you? How long ‘till you’re ready to start plating things up? The turkey’s got about a half an hour left in the grill.” He spies a big serving dish loaded with croquettes and he reaches for one, but Ana smacks his hand away without looking away from her cooking.

“Ah-ah-ah,” she scolds with a grin. “Those are for dinner, Jack. You should know better.” He curses under his breath as she continues. “I still have about 20 minutes for my _messa'aa_ , but we still have to warm up Reinhardt’s croquettes closer to dinner so they’re fresh.” She huffs. “Hana was supposed to help me with the rice and beans, where is that girl?” She turns away and cups her hands around her mouth, and Jesse startles Genji when he puts his hands over Genji’s ears before Ana shouts.

_“Hana Song, you’re needed in the kitchen!”_

She’s loud enough to hear clearly even though Genji’s ears were covered -- he makes sure to smile thankfully at Jesse when he pulls away. Sure enough, there’s a shout from upstairs in return, the distant voice undeniably Hana. _“I’m coming down in a minute,_ Gomo _!”_

Ana hums unhappily, her hands on her hips. Jack sighs but he looks amused, crossing over to the fridge to grab a can beer from inside and popping the tab. “I wonder where Gabe wandered off to then?” he murmurs, not taking a sip from his drink. He looks over at the group of Genji and the others and gestures to the fridge. “Please help yourself to anything in the fridge to drink. It won’t be dinner time for another forty minutes or so.”

Jesse turns to face Genji, granting a soft smile. “You want a beer or somethin’? I can grab one for ya since I’m off that way.” He waits for Genji’s nod before taking off, and Genji watches him go as he starts to rack his brain for a reason as to why Jesse would be upset.

He was acting strangely earlier when they were back at the apartment too now that Genji’s thinking about it. He can’t help but feel like the reason is because of him, but he can’t think of how or _why_ it’s his fault. As far as he knows, he hasn’t said anything to his friend in order to insult him and hasn’t done anything wrong. After all, the last time they really saw each other was--

Genji freezes. It was the night Jesse picked him up from work and they went back to his apartment. The night they slept together. Damn it, Jesse probably kept all that shit inside and he's worried about things now. Even after everything they talked about! He furrows his brow with a frown, keeping his eyes trained on his best friend as he retrieves their drinks from the fridge.

“Now that’s a concerning expression, son,” Gabriel’s voice says, a firm hand falling onto Genji’s shoulder, and Genji nearly jumps out of his skin in fright. The older man gives him a wry smile. “Something on your mind?”

“N-No,” Genji answers too quickly, nearly biting through his tongue.

“Gabe, where’d you run off to? Thought I told you to find Hana,” Jack intervenes gruffly, conscious of the fact he’s interrupted Genji’s heart to heart with Jesse’s father, and Gabriel lifts his hand off of Genji’s shoulder to cross his arms across his chest. He still smiles, but it turns into something a little more amused.

“You’re not the only one with a daughter who’s missing in action,” he says, stepping aside to let Jesse return to Genji’s side with a pair of beer cans. “I had to go look for Sombra and her date.”

A sudden burst of angry Spanish erupts from the hallway that leads to the stairs, and Genji’s startled again and nearly drops his beer. If he knew he was going to be so jumpy from all the sudden excitements around Jesse's family, he would have prepared himself better. Jesse moves closer to Genji, snickering under his breath, and in storms a red-faced and spluttering Sombra as she marches towards her father. She continues her stream of Spanish, obviously agitated by something, but Gabe handles it like a pro and just raises an eyebrow before replying back to her.

Genji can’t understand a word of it. He can’t help but realize this is how Jesse must feel when Genji and Hanzo get into fights in their mother-tongue. He looks to his friend almost pleadingly. “What’s happening?” he asks warily, and Jesse breaks away from watching his sister and father bicker to lean forward and whisper so his family doesn’t catch his translating.

“She’s mad he called her out for bringing a date,” he murmurs, grinning. “Liv swears it’s not a date, but it obviously is. He had to break them apart upstairs before coming back down.” He can’t help but laugh a little under his breath, and Genji looks back to the two other members of Jesse’s family.

“Ah.” He’s not really sure what else to say, but then, “Wait. She brought someone with her? Where are they?” He looks down the hall to see a girl with long dark hair hanging near the doorway, fidgeting with her hands as Sombra continues to argue. It seems no one else has noticed her yet. Genji peeks out from Jesse’s side and waves. “Hello!”

The girl’s eyes dart Genji’s way before she flushes and averts her eyes, raising her hand in a small wave. “ _Namaste,_ ” she replies, voice quiet, and that’s when the others in the room begin to notice her. Sombra instantly stops arguing and turns her way.

“Satya, you didn’t need to follow me down,” she instantly chides, making her way to her side. “I was going to introduce you when everyone else got here…”

The girl, Satya, gives a smile. “No, it’s fine.” She steps a little farther into the room, each step precise and elegant, so she’s in everyone’s line of sight. She tucks a flyaway hair in her eye behind her ear and clears her throat. “Hello, my name is Satya Vaswani. Olivia is in my Social Sciences course. I’m glad I can be here with you all tonight.”

Gabriel smiles at her, a gentle thing. “It’s good to have you here with us. Sorry if things get a little too wild, you’re free to take a breather if you ever need it. It’s gonna be crowded at the dinner table.” The rest of the room murmurs in agreement and waves in hello -- Genji’s surprised to even hear Reinhardt lower his volume a bit. It’s actually surprising how quiet the room has suddenly gotten besides the sounds of food cooking on the stove.

Of course, that’s when Hana bursts into the room, Lúcio hot on her heels as they hurry in through another doorway. “I’m here to help!” she exclaims, looking a little flushed like she had sprinted her way down the stairs. Lúcio looks a lot more fit so he’s not breathing as hard as she is, only looking a little embarrassed at their sudden and noisy entrance. Hana pays no mind, making her way to the fridge and pulling out a bowl out. “ _Gomo,_ the _patbap_ was in the fridge! I thought I told you!”

Ana doesn’t seem at all surprised by Hana’s rush, she laughs as she stirs something on the stove. “I’m sorry, my dear. I had forgotten you made it ahead of time. At least you can help me finish the up the preparations now that you’re here.”

Satya’s made her way back to Sombra’s side, actually looking thankful for the distraction so she could break away from being the center of attention. Genji can’t help but feel like he’s seen her face before, but he can’t place it. He turns to Jesse and gestures her way without making the movement too grand.

“Do I know her?” he asks quietly, and Jesse nods as he takes a sip of his beverage before pointing at Angela without a word and making a slashing motion across his throat, eyes darting Gabriel’s way for a split second. _Oh._ Genji understands. Angela’s party. He finally pops the tab off his can of beer and takes a long sip as he watches the rest of Jesse’s family interact.

It’s all very personal, genuine smiles and casual touches as they move around each other. Ana, Reinhardt, Hana, and Gabriel _all_ move around each other like clockwork near all the things cooking, avoiding unfortunate accidents with a sort of practiced ease that actually makes Genji feel a little jealous. When he and his family had banded together to make the _Chadango_ , it was hectic and unprofessional: the kitchen ended up destroyed and housekeeping ended up with their hands full when it came time to clean up.

Still, he can’t take his eyes off of them.

“Your family is amazing,” he says without thinking, watching as Hana taps Reinhardt’s shoulder once and he knows to lift her up so she can grab something that’s out of her reach, and Gabriel brushes by with a hot steamer basket in his hands without accidentally burning them. Jesse hums questioningly, seemingly lost in the motions himself, and he chuckles quietly when he realizes Genji’s addressing him.

“We’ve been doin’ Thanksgiving with the Amaris and Hana and Jack for years. All that cooperation is the result of years of practice.” He takes a sip of his beer and Genji looks up to see him wearing a fond smile. He’s almost startled when Jesse looks his way with an amused smile. “There was actually a year that Dad ended up slippin’ and he dropped a whole serving dish full of mashed potatoes onto the floor, and he slipped and fell face first into the broken dish when trying to clean it up. We spent Thanksgiving in the E.R. while he got stitches in his cheek.” He laughs. “I remember cryin’ my eyes out because there was so much blood; I thought Gabe was gonna die.”

Genji can’t help but smile. Jesse reminiscing about his past family get-togethers was endearing -- Genji wishes he had more memories of his own family to share with him.

It seems the rest of the room has fallen into their own conversations, intermingling here and there but mostly staying to little groupings. Fareeha and Angela are keeping to themselves, talking at the kitchen table with their hands intertwined. Sombra and Satya have seemingly vanished, but Genji picks up the sound of the television in another room and figures that’s where they’ve run off to. Reinhardt is talking animatedly to Gabriel and Jack as they work in the kitchen, and Lúcio is keeping busy keeping up with Ana and Hana as they cook.

It leaves Genji and Jesse to themselves, so Genji decides to bring up what’s been nagging at him ever since Jesse left to check on Ana’s car.

“Did I do something?” he asks, and Jesse frowns at him.

“What are you talkin’ about, sweetheart?”

Genji presses his lips in a hard line as he looks to the floor, leaning against the wall they’re standing beside. He realizes how weird it must be to ask again, but he can’t ignore the little voice at the back of his mind reminding him to make sure his friend was fine. He needs to make sure. “You seem... distant. Are you okay? Did I do something?”

A strange look passes over Jesse’s face, his eyebrows pulling together. “No, hon, you didn’t do anything. What’s this about?”

Genji chews his cheek, studying the woodgrain of the floor. This was _so_ stupid -- he can’t believe he’s getting so worked up over something so _trivial._ “You… you didn’t want to hold my hand when you came back from the garage,” he says quietly.

Jesse barely holds back a little laugh, failing to hide a curious smile. “Beg your pardon?”

“It’s not just that,” Genji instantly grumbles as he ducks his head, embarrassed that Jesse is laughing at him. He returns Jesse’s amused look with a wary one of his own. “The way you looked at me before going in to talk with your Aunt: it made me… nervous? I don’t know how to describe it, but it made the pit of my stomach roll a little.”

The smile falls away from Jesse’s face. He looks surprised. “You noticed that?” he asks, and something hot and nearly _angry_ strikes Genji so suddenly in the chest he has to take a breath to settle it. He frowns himself, swallowing down his irritation as he pokes Jesse gently in the chest.

“Of _course_ I noticed it,” he says pointedly. “I _am_ your best friend after all. I’ve learned how to read most of your expressions by now. What was that all about?”

Now it’s Jesse’s turn to look at the floor. “Oh, right. I was just a little worried. Ana always makes things a bigger deal than they need to be.” He does that nervous quirk where he reaches back to fiddle with the curls of hair at the back of his neck, which Genji knows means he’d rather not talk about it too much. “Sorry if it seemed like I didn’t wanna touch you. I’ve got a lot on my mind right now and I wasn’t thinkin’.”

It’s the same excuse he used before when they were trying to cook together, and the fact Jesse still doesn’t want to talk about it probably means it’s the same problem. Genji’s frown deepens. But what on Earth could that problem possibly be? If it was familial, Genji figures there would be some sort of tension between Jesse and the other people in the room; there isn’t any of that. He told Jesse to be honest with him if there was something wrong between the two of them and he hasn’t brought anything up, so that took away the possibility that it was because of him.

...Didn’t it?

Genji worries his bottom lip between his teeth before he comes to a decision, and lets out a deep sigh. Grabbing Jesse’s hand and marching out the kitchen, Jesse nearly tripping over his own feet in surprise, he makes their way to another room in the house that’s unoccupied and far enough away from the kitchen so people can’t overhear. He can hear Jesse’s complaints as they trek on, and finally they’re standing in another living room near the front of the house. He turns to face his best friend and puts on his most serious expression.

“Tell me what I did,” he orders, still keeping his voice low enough that he can hear if anyone comes looking for them. Jesse blinks before opening his mouth, and Genji can already hear the lie before he’s even said anything yet, so he cuts his friend off before he can tell it. “Listen, I know something’s wrong okay? And it must have been something I did, because you never acted this way with me until after we slept together.” He stops and grimaces. “That… that was a mistake, wasn’t it?”

“No!” Jesse instantly says, putting his beer on a table beside the couch they’re standing in front of, and he presses his hands on either sides of Genji's face. “Now you listen to me, sweetheart. There are a lot of things I regret, and I’ll be honest with you: the first week that went by after that night, that’s all I did. And the only reason I regretted that night was because before we slept together, I was keepin’ things easy for the both of us. Platonic is easy.” He moves his hands to rest on Genji’s shoulders, hanging his head. “I wasn’t trustin’ myself not to want more after we crossed that line, and that’s exactly what ended up happenin’. I wanted you _every single night.”_

Genji’s heart flutters a little, his throat tightening. He isn't sure why Jesse saying that makes him happy. “Then what’s the problem?”

Jesse lifts his head, eyes mournful. “We’re just _friends,_ Genji. That’s all we ever were. It ain’t easy for me to just jump into being friends-with-benefits.” A strained smile rises to his face. “I ain’t as flexible as you.”

Words are slow for Genji to reply with, because guilt is filling his mouth and it’s blocking them from coming out. “So… it _is_ my fault,” he finally says quietly, looking back down at the floor. “I rushed into things too quickly.” He sighs, raising a hand to scrub at his face, worried about tears coming. He feels disgusted with himself. “You should have told me, Jesse, I would have been fine if we hadn’t--”

Jesse shakes his head. “Stop it, it ain’t your fault. I wanted it too -- God, there ain’t nothin’ I want more to do right now than take you upstairs and kiss you ‘till my lips are numb. It’s just--” He sighs again. They both seem to be doing a lot of that. “It’s just hard for me to wrap my head around all of this, with our friendship and all….” He trails off for a moment before suddenly realizing where they were. “W-We should talk about this later when I take you home. It’ll be easier without havin’ to worry about anyone in my family overhear us.” He leans forward and presses a kiss against Genji’s forehead, and when he pulls away he seems a little less tense -- he even smiles a little. “Let’s just worry about dinner first, alright?”

“But--” Genji frowns. Jesse seems like he’s taking things way too lightly. “Aren’t you upset with me? I mean, I pressured you into it. It’s my fault you’ve been feeling so… _shitty.”_

The way Jesse looks at him makes his chest tighten -- a soft and nearly incredulous expression. “Of course I ain’t upset with you. You gave me an out every step of the way, there wasn’t any pressure.” He reaches a hand up and trails the back of his hand along Genji’s cheek, his eyes tracking the movement as he laughs quietly. “Now _you’re_ thinkin’ too much.”

Genji is hesitant to move on, something still bothering him. If Jesse isn’t upset with him, why did he still feel so… gross? A question pops into his mind; and it’s a selfish one at that. Genji figures he doesn’t have much else to lose if he was going to ask it, and he swallows. “So... you’re alright with me holding your hand?”

Jesse’s eyes widen, something too quick for Genji to see flickering through his eyes, before he rolls his eyes with a little laugh. “Of course I’m fine with it, sugarplum. Here,” he says, and holds out his hand in an offering to Genji. Jesse looks amused when Genji takes the offered hand and lets out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. “Y’know this is kind of a step back for us since over a week ago you were asking to blow me.”

The relieved laugh that Jesse is cracking jokes again crawls its way up Genji’s throat and it comes out a little shaky. “I didn’t-- not just the hand holding, just touching in general.” Curse his constant need for physical attention, and _damn_ the fact his main outlet for that need is through Jesse. “I don’t know, I just got worried you hated me now or something.”

“I could never hate you, hon,” Jesse says quietly. “Trust me. I--”

There’s a sound that rings through the house, cutting their conversation short before Jesse can finish. It’s the same sound that was heard when Ana and Jesse walked in through the garage. They both jerk to attention, turning towards the source of the sound, and sure enough Reinhardt cheers so loudly they can hear it from the kitchen.

“Lena Oxton, it’s been _years!”_

Genji exchanges a look with Jesse, who looks like he wants to say something more, but can’t. “Later,” he says instead, pressing another kiss to Genji’s temple, and they nod in agreement before snatching their beers off the coffee table and go their way out to greet the remaining guests as they arrive.

Gabriel passes them in the hallway with Lena and her girlfriend’s coats, raising an eyebrow to see them appearing from an empty room together, alone and holding hands, but he doesn’t say anything. Genji swears he can hear him chuckle behind them.

“Well he’s never gonna stop talkin’ about _that_ now,” Jesse murmurs, pursing his lips unhappily and Genji laughs quietly, bumping their shoulders as they walk. Jesse shakes his head as he grins his way. “You’re a menace.”

“And you still love me anyway,” Genji snarks right back, and Jesse goes quiet as they reenter the kitchen. No one seems to have noticed they had left, or if they did, no one decides to bring it up. Emily, Lena’s girlfriend, is plugging a crock-pot into the wall carefully, making an obvious attempt to make room for the others moving about near her. Jack has disappeared, most likely to go out and check on the turkey, and Genji notices that Hana’s gone as well.

Lena is giving Ana a long hug, kissing both cheeks as she pulls away. She spies both him and Jesse and somehow her smile grows even wider, and Genji hands Jesse his beer as he sees her start a dead-sprint in his direction, holding his arms open and catching her in a huge embrace. If Lena was any bigger she would have knocked him right over, but he holds his ground and is caught in her infectious laughter as he lifts her up.

“It’s nice to see you, Oxton,” he says, setting her back down on the ground, and she moves on to give Jesse a hug as well. “I missed you at Angela’s party.”

“It’s so good to see you two again!” she exclaims, and when she pulls away from Jesse she spins on her heel to motion to Emily excitedly. “Emily, love, c’mere and meet Jesse and Genji!” She looks over her shoulder with a cheeky smile, freckled face bright and cheery. “We brought glazed vegetables we made in the crockpot. We would’ve made somethin’ more fancy, but work kept us busy all day.”

Emily looks up from the counter as Ana gently shoos her away from fiddling with the crockpot, reassuring her they’ll be reheated before dinner. She scurries off, still taking glances at the crock-pot, but she brushes off her hands on the knitted sweater dress and leggings she’s wearing and holds out one hand when she steps in place next to Lena.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you both!” she says, using her free hand to brush her wild red hair over one shoulder. This is the first time Genji’s ever had the opportunity to meet Emily in person, as she had still lived in England when she and Lena had started dating, so he takes her hand and shakes enthusiastically. He takes his drink back from Jesse so he can to the same, and Emily pulls away with a grin as Lena wraps an arm around her waist. “Lena’s told me so much about you all. I’m glad we had an opportunity to finally get together.”

“I’m just glad we can finally see this wonderful girl Lena’s been tellin’ us about for years,” Jesse laughs, putting an arm over Genji’s shoulder. Genji isn’t sure if he’s only doing it because Lena had made a move with her own partner, or if it was just subconscious now that the two of them have at least talked a little. Either way, he’s not complaining, so he leans into Jesse’s side as his friend continues to talk. “You were all she talked to _us_ about.”

“How are you liking the United States?” Genji can’t help but ask, knowing how it feels to be away from home, and it looks like Emily has the same sentiments from the expression that passes over her face.

“Oh, nothing beats England, as much as I love how much less rain we get here. I miss my mum and dad too, but we still take flights back home every couple months,” she says, laughing a little. She’s very charming, Genji has to admit. No wonder Lena’s so smitten. Emily’s full of life but not nearly as spritely as Lena is, so she brings a nice balance to their relationship by grounding her. “We’re actually due for one in a week or so to spend Christmas time up there.”

“That’s great!” Jesse says as the door the the backyard opens up, Hana stepping inside and letting her adoptive father bring the finished turkey in before shutting the door after them both. Lena makes an excited “ooh!” sound and hurries over to look at the bird up close, and Emily smiles, sarcastically rolling her eyes in exasperation, and follows after her girlfriend to take a closer look as well.

“Jesse!” Ana calls, her sleeves rolled up and gesturing to the dining room. “You and Genji set the table since the two of you haven’t done anything to help tonight except stand around.”

There are a few snickers from around the room. Jesse joins in the laughter, albeit embarrassedly. “That’s cruel, Auntie. We brought dessert, didn’t we?” Still, he takes Genji by the hand and leads him toward the dining room. “Is everything out there already?”

Ana is already returning to plating her food, a glass casserole dish with tomato sauce on top. She slices a knife through the food with one hand as she waves Jesse and Genji into the room absentmindedly. “Yes, yes, it’s all in there. If we don’t have enough of something, Hana can show you where to find more.” Jesse salutes in her direction even though she can’t see him, but before they step into the room she snaps, “And take off the hat. You know the rules.”

Genji can’t help but smother down a laugh with a hand, Jesse looking somewhat defeated, but he says, “Yes ma’am” before taking it off respectfully. There’s a hook rack in the dining room that has a few coats on it, so Genji waits for Jesse to hang up the old hat before turning to look at the table.

It’s going to be crowded, that’s for sure. It’s a big table, but it’s still smaller than the one Genji has in his own home. There’s a bunch of mismatched chairs at the table so there’s enough for everyone to have a seat, and at the end of the table are a few small stacks of plates. It looks like they found as many similar looking plates as they could that were big enough. There’s a stack of cloth place-mats and cloth napkins that look brand new underneath a massive pile of silverware that also looks pieced together from different sets, and Jesse whistles as he walks to the opposite side of the table to look at them.

Despite nothing matching, it all seems to pull together and feel somewhat fitting in this giant, pieced-together family.

Jesse moves the silverware off the place-mats before sliding them down Genji’s way. “One at each place, hon. I’ll follow after with the plates, and then we can both do the silverware since there’s enough to go around.”

“Sure.” The place-mats are orange and blue (which Genji supposes would work for Thanksgiving? Even though he would have stuck with warmer colors only) and are trimmed in a white stitch pattern along all the sides. He decides to alternate between the two colors at each place, orange then blue, and Jesse follows behind him and gently sets a plate at the center of each place-mat.

Although they work in silence, there’s still questions buzzing around in Genji’s brain like flies. Jesse said something about wanting to talk more when they were alone, but he wasn’t angry or upset with him, so what did he want to discuss? Genji’s never really had the problem of being nervous around Jesse before, but now the uncertainty in the near future is bugging him. He tries not to focus on it too much -- after all, Jesse was alright, he just seemed off.

Genji finishes with the place-mats and grabs the stack of napkins, and he folds each in half before setting it next to the plates -- a more casual version of what he remembers seeing at his father’s dinner parties. The napkins are all white, so he doesn’t have to worry about alternating colors again.

“You want forks or knives or spoons?” Jesse asks, tone sarcastic like he knows it really doesn’t matter all that much. Genji looks up from being lost in repeating the methodical work off folding and placing napkins, only to see Jesse sorting through the silverware and twirling a knife between his fingers. “I’ll take whatever you don’t.”

“Forks.” He finds himself staring at the precise and impressive twirling of the knife as Jesse nods absentmindedly, not even looking at the knife in his hand. He seems like he’s lost in thought too, and that just makes the anxiety grow worse. Jesse’s never had a problem talking to him before, so what was so different now?

Scratch that. A lot of things were different between the two of them now, Genji realizes. When they starting this whole fabricated relationship, he _never_ would have thought it’d lead to the two of them making out on a couch at Angela’s house. Or _sleeping_ together. He had never thought about too much until now, and now that he is, it’s not making him feel good.

Sex was easy for Genji, his lavish and frankly _excessive_ lifestyle being an entry point for tons of beautiful people from all over. Parties were easy to get into thanks to his name, people easy to woo because of his handsome face and charisma -- and he enjoyed just wasting time away with alcohol and bare skin and sweat under multicolored strobe lights and pounding music. He never really thought of sex as anything other than a good time. If Jesse was making such a big deal out of it, did that mean Genji’s the odd one out here?

He lets out a deep breath silently, trying to not appear so distracted as he continues to place forks next to the plates on the napkins until he’s finished. Jesse finishes up not long after he does, and he puts his hands on his hips as he does a quick look over to make sure nothing is out of place before smiling Genji’s way and giving him a thumbs up.

It makes him feel a little better. Genji allows himself to stop lingering over the torrent of negativity in his head, some of that pressure lifting from his chest when he sees Jesse’s happy expression. He was right, Genji was thinking too much about this. Jesse said they were still friends, that he could never hate him, so he’s needlessly anxious over nothing. As long as their friendship wasn’t suffering, he had no reason to worry.

“Thanks for the help, sugar,” Jesse says, looking back over the table as he makes his way over to stand at Genji’s side. “It’ve taken me twice as long to set it myself.”

He shakes some pent up energy out of his fingers. With a gentle elbow to Jesse’s ribs, Genji snorts. “I was just doing the job Ana told me to do. Thanks for feeding me by letting me come with you. It’s nice seeing your family.”

“ _Our_ family, son,” Gabriel’s voice corrects as he walks in, carrying a serving dish full of tamales. The food is steaming hot, wafting off the surface of the corn husks they’re wrapped in as Gabriel sets the plate on the table. Genji blinks, a little bewildered by the statement, but when Gabriel stands back up he continues. “You’re the first person Jesse’s ever bothered bringing home for a family occasion -- the only person I’ve ever seen him get so flustered about. You’re one of us now whether you like it or not.”

_“Papi,”_ Jesse interjects, tone embarrassed, and Genji looks towards him to see his face a warm rosy color and his eyes anywhere but beside him where Genji is standing. _“Silencio, por favor. Mi reputación.”_ Genji fights down a smile: despite his inability to speak Spanish he still knows enough English to understand what Jesse had said. Gabriel laughs, ruffling Jesse’s hair as he passes him to go back into the kitchen.

“I’m being honest, kiddo. C’mon, help us bring the rest of the food out to put on the table. It’s almost time to eat.”

Genji isn’t given an opportunity to tease, because Jesse sighs and walks ahead of him before he can get a word out. He follows after his friend back into the kitchen to find the rest of the room preparing serving plates. Ana is holding the dish that has tomato sauce on it, and she passes them by to place it on the table. Most of the group is watching Jack carve slices of meat from the turkey, Gabriel hanging over his shoulder and pressing a kiss to his cheek before moving on to get a bottle out of the fridge.

“I’m bringing out the Don Julio, are you drinking, Jesse?” he asks. Jesse leans against the island, a smile playing at his lips as he gestures for Genji to stand next to him.

“Is it the _Añejo o Reposado?”_

“ _Añejo_ ,” Gabriel snorts, like the answer is obvious. He moves past Emily, who’s scooping carrots and sweet potatoes from the crock-pot into a serving bowl, and pulls a pair of short drinking glasses out of the cupboard. “Why would I bring out any less?” He looks over his shoulder to Genji, still holding the cupboard open. “You want some, Genji?”

“Course he does,” Jesse answers for him, and shoots a grin his way. Genji nods anyway, curious about this special liquor, and Gabriel reaches up for another glass.

“You drinking too, Jackie?” Gabriel asks next, and Jack looks up from cutting the bird to squint over at the bottle to look at it. His glasses are hanging around his neck, but his hands are full with the knife and carving fork and he can’t reach for them, so it takes a second to figure out what’s in the bottle.

“You already know the answer to that,” he says, returning to the turkey. “It’s tradition that I have at least a glass. Watch your hand when you pour, Gabe. I don’t want much.”

Gabriel huffs out a laugh when he pulls another glass down from where he grabbed the rest of them, shaking his head. “I wasn’t planning on it. We all know what you’re like when you have too much to drink.”

Hana snickers beside her father the same time Jesse and Fareeha do from both ends of the island -- they obviously have first hand experience with it over the years. Genji ends up sharing a knowing glance with Angela, feeling out of the loop, but she gives him a smile and a shrug and he returns to watching Gabriel prepare the drinks.

“I’m gonna remind you now that I’m the one holding the knife,” Jack says, brandishing it towards Gabriel threateningly. He’s hard to take seriously, fighting down a smile. “Don’t blame me if something unfortunate happens since you’re ready to run your mouth.”

The banter is playful, not at all tense or unkind. Genji can tell how much the two of them care about each other from the energy between them alone -- he’s glad things seemed that way since Jesse had said how this was the most successful period of time they’ve spent together in their relationship of ups and downs. Genji doesn’t even need to look at Jesse to see if he’s feeling the same: he can feel it radiating off of him.

“Alright, you two,” Ana’s voice interrupts. She picks up the bowl of steaming croquettes that are resting on the stove, brushing past the both of them with a shake of her head. Despite her words, even she seems relieved they aren’t screaming at each other. “Stop flirting and get a move on. The rest of us are hungry and waiting on you. I swear you get worse with age.”

Gabriel and Jack both laugh, but get back to what they were doing.

“Can I have some Don Julio, Dad?” Hana asks slyly, her head propped up in her palms as she tilts her head and leaning over the island counter top. Her hair, done up in tight cat ear-like buns on her head, are starting to unravel a little and loose strands dangle in front of her face. Beside her, Lúcio reaches for those hairs and pull them back up to tuck around her buns without asking her -- she makes no move to complain.

Jack scoffs, not looking up from his cutting as he sets another piece of turkey on the large plate. “Not any of that shit. You can have a glass or two of the wine Fareeha brought if you want, but that’s all you can have around me until you turn twenty-one.”

Hana purses her lips. “The legal drinking age in South Korea is nineteen,” she mutters under her breath, but she doesn’t argue any further. Jesse grins at her.

“Think of it this way, Bunny,” he says cheerfully, tapping his temple with his index finger. “The less people drinking alcohol tonight, the better. Remember what happened a couple years ago?” From the look that passes over Hana’s face, it looks like she remembers it well. Even Fareeha has the same unhappy expression on her face -- once again Genji and Angela share the confused look, and this time Lúcio joins them. He’ll have to ask Jesse later what the incident he’s talking about was if it’s causing this much of a visceral reaction with the rest of them.

“That Thanksgiving wasn’t my fault,” Jack says coolly, putting down his knife and carving fork when he feels there’s enough meat on the plate for all fourteen people. He wipes his hands off on his apron before starting to take it off. “That was the year Torbjörn showed up and Reinhardt decided it would be a good idea to challenge him to a a drinking contest.” He smirks. “And of course, Gabriel needed to be competitive too.”

“Hey, I won that contest,” Gabriel complains in the middle of pouring tequila over the cubes of ice he’s placed in each of the glasses -- but whatever he’s about to continue with is drowned out by Reinhardt’s loud voice as he makes his way back into the kitchen, ducking his head so he misses the door frame.

“I hadn’t seen my good friend in a while, what was I supposed to do?” he asks incredulously, sounding offended. He still takes the plate of turkey from in front of Jack despite being blamed, his good eye narrowed and looking down on him with a pursed mouth. “I was showing off in front of Brigitte, how could you blame me -- and you got involved with that contest too, Jack. You are not excluded from the blame.”

Jack opens his mouth, but Gabriel laughs and hands him his drink over his shoulder while pecking his cheek again. “It’s true, love. You did join the contest to try and beat me.”

“Think of it this way, Morrison,” Jesse snarks, taking his tequila from Gabriel when he hands it to him. He’s got a smirk on that makes Genji think back to their high school years, that rowdy, scrappy kid he befriended shining through Jesse’s older features. “At least you ain’t as loud as Reinhardt when you’ve got alcohol in ya.”

Hana bursts into laughter, Fareeha covering her mouth with a hand to stop from laughing aloud herself. Gabriel gives Jesse a warning look, but he’s still smiling as he hands Genji his own glass of alcohol. “That’s Jack to you, kiddo,” he still says as he makes his way to the dining room. “Come in and sit down, everyone. I’ll go get Olivia and Satya and we can finally get this dinner started.”

Jack follows after, not looking offended at all from Jesse’s comment and rolling his eyes. “I see you haven’t lost your sharp tongue with age,” he says, and Jesse clicks his tongue and points a finger gun at him with his free hand.

Genji smiles into his drink; he could have told Jack that. He loops an arm around Jesse’s waist and sips slowly at his tequila. It’s much better than any of the shit he’s had at parties -- it’s aftertaste doesn’t remind him of vomit, which he’s thankful for -- so this is the good stuff. Gabriel must save it for holidays, Genji thinks, because if he’s buying and drinking this all the time his tastes are more expensive than his.

“You hungry, sugarplum?” Jesse asks, and Genji nods vigorously. He was _starving_ \-- he hadn’t eaten anything that morning thanks to his hair dying mishap that burned up his time, so the wonderful smells of all the different foods wafting around the house while they were being cooked had been making his mouth water all evening. Jesse smiles and motions to the dining room. “Then let’s head in. The sooner we’re all sat down the sooner we get to eat.”

Genji nods. “Let’s go then,” he agrees eagerly, and they join the others at the table. He ends up sitting between Angela and Jesse, something he’s thankful for since they’re the two people he knew the best out of the others gathered at the table. It’s a tight squeeze, the table obviously not meant to have so many people at it, but it’s not as suffocating as Genji was anticipating. Besides, it gives him an excuse to press his and Jesse’s knees together without having to think up an excuse.

All the food, save his and Genji’s desserts, are set in the middle of the table in an impressive display of warm colors and food groups and just the  _ sight  _ of them has his stomach growling. Despite his impending starvation, he doesn’t reach for any of them yet. Only about half of the whole family is even seated and no one has helped themselves. He glances Jesse’s way.

“When do we eat?” he asks quietly, and Jesse laughs.

“Not until Gabe or Jack gives the toast. I think it's Gabe's turn this year,” Jesse explains as he sits, and Genji nods even though he’s dying to try some of Hana’s  _ patbap  _ since he can see it’s made with adzuki beans and it’s been far too long since he’s had any.

Gabe finally enters the dining room through a different doorway, towing Sombra and Satya behind him, and the three of them take their seats. Gabriel and Jack are at the ends of the table, everyone else on the long sides in sets of six, and when they’ve all calmed down and seated themselves, Gabriel and Jack exchange glances before the former stands. He clears his throat.

“Well, another year and all of us survived it. There’s some new faces added to this already huge group,” he says, smiling Genji’s way before moving onto Angela, Lúcio, Emily, and Satya. “Our family is growing so much faster than we ever would have thought, but I’m not complaining. Good food tastes even better when it’s shared with friends and family." He shakes his head. "I remember our first Thanksgiving together. We had just adopted Jesse, Fareeha had just started kindergarten, and Sombra and Hana were still practically babies.” He laughs a little. “Believe it or not, it was actually a lot more hectic than tonight.”

Reinhardt laughs the loudest, raising his glass. “Who would have thought that a seven year old, a five year old, and two infants would cause so much trouble when we were trying to prepare dinner!” He reaches behind Ana’s chair to jostle Fareeha a little, smile wide. “You and Jesse kept slipping right through my fingers, you clever little beasts!”

Genji laughs along with the rest of the family. He can imagine a little Jesse spreading havoc all over the place, getting Fareeha caught up in his mischief. He places a hand on Jesse’s thigh under the table to get his attention and smirk at him, and Jesse rolls his eyes in return.

Gabriel barks out a laugh. “We were lucky Ana’s house didn’t burn down when we were all trying to corral Jesse and Fareeha into the living room!” He shakes his head, looking down at his plate with a nostalgic expression falling over him. “We’ve obviously learned so much more after all these years, and not just about handling our large family.” He glances Jesse’s way momentarily. “We’ve had our share of hardships, but sticking together as a team has kept our family strong. We overcame those hardships and it made us all the stronger.”  He lifts his head. “Despite our kids are growing up and finding people they want to share their lives with, they still know their way back home, and that’s all we could have possibly asked for.” He raises his glass. “For that, I am thankful. So this year I toast to our ever expanding family.”

The whole table raises their glasses in return, Genji unable to stop himself from joining in as well.

_ “To our family!” _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love this dumb family so much ;o; 
> 
> as to those of you who are wondering how lena knows jack, he was her homestay parent while she was in a student exchange program in the usa!! i don't really get a chance to explain that in this fic but i still wanted everyone to know lol
> 
> thank you for all of your continued support in your kudos, comments, and follows!! you guys are so awesome <3
> 
> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) || [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I…” Jesse swallows, dropping his hands into his lap. “I need to talk to you.”
> 
> Genji’s blood turns to ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy y'all this is it. this is the big one. i won't say anything other than there's an emetophobia warning for this chapter, so please proceed with caution if that bothers you!!
> 
> thank you so much for the continued support, please enjoy <3

After finishing his toast, Gabriel sits, taking a long sip of his tequila before gesturing with the glass. When no one moves, he makes a face. “Now hurry up and dig in. If Hana doesn’t eat something soon she’ll glare a hole right through me.”

That’s the word that sends everyone scrambling for food. Hana’s the first to move, using a serving spatula to dig a piece of Ana’s meal out of the glass dish it’s in before passing along the spatula to Lúcio. Some wait patiently, like Ana or Satya, while others grab for food as fast as they can to start eating. Genji tries not to be one of these people, but he’s sure it comes off that way when he feels Jesse shake with silent laughter beside him. He takes a bit of everything, but a little extra of the rice and adzuki bean mixture just because. After he’s filled up his plate, he starts to eat as he places his first bite into his mouth.

He dies and goes to heaven. Everything is wonderful, from the vegetables Lena and Emily brought to the potato pancakes that Reinhardt had made. Ana’s meal is a baked eggplant dish with tomato sauce, vegetables, and ground beef. (She mentions how she usually lets it sit for a day in the fridge to improve the taste, but didn’t have the time to make it until today so it’d have to do.) The turkey is moist and delicious and Genji knows he’s going to end up eating far too much than he needs tonight with all that’s in front of him.

There’s little conversation at first, everyone too busy with eating to bother, but as the meal goes on the talking increases. Most of it is directed at the newer guests to the table, being Angela, Lúcio, Satya, Emily, and himself.

Most of what he hears from Angela are things he already knew before: of her job at the hospital and her interest in getting another degree. How she’s from Switzerland and her parents still live there, which makes things hard when it comes to communicating over the phone or video chat. There’s also interest in her newfound relationship with Fareeha, which is mostly on Ana’s agenda of questions, of how they got together and how long they’ve been dating. All things that Jesse and he had to go through when they first started their fake affair. He’s kind of glad there’s someone else who can take those questions now since he and Jesse have been together for so long -- he's a little tired of answering them.

Lúcio is a music major at the arts college Hana goes to. While she goes for theatre and there was a slim chance of them actually interacting, they met each other on freshman orientation day and recognized each other from their social followings on the internet, and instantly became friends. While still a student, he still makes and sells his own music through music sharing sites and the like, and he has an _impressive_ amount of fans. (He’s not the one who brings up his fan base, but rather Hana, and Genji can’t help but notice the smug sense of pride in her tone. He honestly can’t tell if they’re an item or not, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get a straight answer out of them either.)

After the doctor and the musician is Sombra’s guest (girlfriend?) Satya. She carries herself highly as she talks about going to school for Architecture despite keeping her gaze on her plate the whole time. Despite her proud tone, she seems very nervous and doesn’t talk much. No one pushes her to though, and Sombra takes over for her after a little, talking about everything from how she was originally from India to begrudgingly about how she was top of their class. Satya was a perfectionist, she was incredible at designing buildings, and her sketches were amazing to look at. Satya looks pleased at the compliments, a dreamy kind of smile on her face as she listens and eats.

When it’s her turn, Emily laughs and makes a joke about her life not being as interesting as the rest that had gone before her. She works as a physical therapist and personal trainer, helping athletes who are injured get better to get back on the field. Due to Lena’s persistence to run marathons and the like, she has gotten a better grasp of injuries most runners suffer since she’s been together with the girl. Lena doesn’t look embarrassed at all, just smooches her on the cheek and thanks her willingness to help out even though she doesn’t need to.

Finally, the questions start coming for Genji. Almost identical to the ones that Reinhardt had asked earlier, but Ana seems to be the one at the helm again. Where he worked, his family and where they were all from, what they did. Genji can’t help but feel a little like he’s being interrogated, and Jesse shifts uncomfortably next to him as it goes on before he finally steps in.

“Alright, Auntie,” he says with a nervous smile. “Your military background is showing.”

“He’s a good kid,” Gabriel confirms. “I promise. I’ve known him for years.” He exchanges another glance with Jack at the opposite end of the table and coughs, shifting in his seat a little. “Besides, uh, now that we’re all winding down from eating I have something I need to say.”

While he’s appreciative to have the attention taken off of him, Gabriel’s sudden fidgeting is strange and almost worrisome in Genji’s eyes. He can sense Jesse is too, the concern for Genji now turned to his father, and the table gets quiet and focuses their attention at one of their hosts once again. Gabriel reaches for his empty glass of tequila and wraps his fingers around it, seemingly using the object to ground him as he starts.

“So, as most of you know, Jack and I moving in together was a pretty big step for the both of us. It’d either make or break our relationship.” He shrugs. “I was worried for a while that something would end up going wrong, but things… they’ve never been better. It really was a step we both needed. So… we’ve been talking.”

Jesse stiffens beside Genji, the air starting to grow heavy around the dining room table. Gabriel seems like he’s trying to figure out what he wants to say, free hand drumming against the table anxiously. Jack finally speaks up.

“Do you want me to tell them?” he asks, a sly smile at his mouth, and Gabriel just shoots him a pleading look. He even looks like he’s starting to sweat. Jack laughs under his breath, setting down his drink and standing before reaching for something at his neck under his sweater. He pulls at it, dragging it out from underneath to show a pair of dog tags hanging from a metal chain. But it’s not the dog tags that catch Genji’s attention, but a silver band dangling next to them. The truth hits Genji like a truck.

“We’re getting married,” Gabriel finishes lamely, fishing out his own dog tags and ring out from under his button down to show it off.

Time seems to freeze for a moment, but it shatters instantly when Jesse opens his mouth.

“Holy fucking _shit.”_

The room erupts into chaos. Hana leaps out of her chair and just starts yelling in Korean the same time Sombra does, with Spanish firing off from her lips instead. Reinhardt already has his arms around Jack, crying enthusiastically as he hugs him. Lena is on Jack’s other side, talking so fast Genji’s having a hard time understanding her -- but he gets bits and pieces, of best men and dates and places. Most of the others at the table are still sitting there slack jawed at the news, recovering at different rates to clap or congratulate.

Genji looks at Jesse to see his reaction, only to see him staring at his father with the biggest smile on his face. “How long were you keeping this a secret?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. Gabriel smiles weakly, like telling the family of his and Jack’s engagement took an immense amount of energy from him.

“We’ve been discussing it for as long as I can remember, but moving in was just to make sure it was the right time. We decided Tuesday morning before Sombra and Hana came home.”

“It’s about time,” Ana chides, sipping at her drink. “I’m happy for you both.”

“About time?” Fareeha echoes, throwing an arm over the back of Angela’s chair with a laugh. “Jesse and I have been talking about this for _years!_ We thought you’d _never_ gather the courage to ask each other.”

Jesse snorts, side-eyeing her. “Oh, just like I reckoned you’d never sum up the courage to ask Angie out?” Genji nearly chokes on his tequila and Angela giggles beside him, the words stolen right out of Fareeha’s mouth. Before she can retort anything back, Ana stands.

“Children, behave,” she warns, placing a hand on Fareeha’s shoulder, and she speaks loud enough that Hana and Sombra stop as well. “If you’re done with your plates, please bring them into the kitchen so we can start the dishes. Genji, dear, I want your help to rinse plates for me. Since there doesn’t seem to be much left in the name of leftovers,” she pauses, looking at the empty plates on the table, “all Jack needs to do is put the turkey on the stove to make his soup. Once dinner has settled a little, we’ll break out dessert.”

Genji blinks, a little nervous at being called out to help with the dishes, but he figures he should to his part to help clean up. Jesse tenses up again, but he doesn’t seem ready to argue with Ana. Instead, as family members still stand and gather their dishes, still hanging around Gabriel and Jack as they excited discuss wedding plans, Jesse pulls Genji off to the side of the kitchen towards the laundry room to talk to him.

“She’s doing it on purpose,” he mumbles miserably, pressing a hand on Genji’s cheek. “Singlin’ you out like this. I promise it’s good intentioned, but I know it’s coming off as overbearin’. She wants to talk to you alone, and this is the only way she’s gonna be able to do that. Do you want me to stay to mediate, or…?”

There he goes again, worrying about Genji even though he doesn’t need to be. Genji smiles and reaches up to place his hand on the back of Jesse's to show the sentiment is thoroughly appreciated. “It’s fine, Jesse, you don’t need to. I’ve got to do my part to help anyway.”

Jesse looks impatient, shifting his weight to his other leg. “She _knows,_ Genji. About us.”

The easiness Genji felt earlier drops into a cold, heavy anxiety, the smile slipping right off his face. She knew? How?! Did she want to confront Genji to tell him they needed to end it or she’d tell everyone? He stares through Jesse, trying to gather his thoughts for a moment before shaking his head to clear them. “How did she--”

“I don’t know, but she does.” Jesse sighs. “Just be careful how you act around her, alright, pumpkin? She can make your life a livin’ hell if she feels like it. Do you still want me to leave?” Genji just nods. He can’t let Jesse intervene for him forever if they’re going to make this work -- he’s got to fight too. Jesse lets him go with an encouraging smile. “Alright. I’ll be back in the livin’ room when you’re done, hon. You can find me there.”

Not knowing what else he should really say, Genji nods again and takes Jesse’s plate for him before retreating to the sink. Ana’s already there, stacking plates by size so they’re easier to sort. The dishwasher is open to the right of the machine, the right side of the two-tub sink waiting for him. He swallows, then steadies his pace to greet the older woman.

“I’m here, ma’am,” Genji says cautiously, and Ana turns with a smile and takes the plates to sort them as well. Her one good eye sparkles mischievously, looking Genji up and down before gesturing to the sink -- and even though she’s shorter than him, she’s incredibly intimidating. Genji attributes this to her military background Jesse had mentioned before.

“There are already some glasses in there you can rinse out before putting in the dishwasher, dear. I’ll give you a stack of plates when you’re done with them.”

Genji hums in affirmation, rolling up his sleeves before turning on the faucet and running water through the cups before popping them in the top rack of the dishwasher like she asks. He’s aware that most of the family has gone back into the dining room to talk amongst themselves, and after Jack sets a big pot filled with water on the stove and lifts the carcass of the turkey into it, he leaves.

They’re finally alone in the kitchen, the sound of running water being the only noise between them. Genji keeps sneaking glances at Ana every so often, trying to anticipate when she’ll start to talk to him, but she’s harder to read than Jesse. (He figures that’s probably where he gets his impenetrable poker faces.)

Finally, she speaks.

“Forgive me for interrogating you at the dinner table,” she says, and the fact her first statement is an apology catches Genji off guard -- he nearly drops the glass he’s rinsing through. Ana continues. “I was trying to see what Jesse saw in you, knowing what kind of mess you’ve gotten him into.” Genji flinches when she has to turn her head to look at him with her good eye, staring straight through him.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says, but Ana laughs him off.

“Sorry that you’ve dragged him into your problems? Or sorry that I found out?”

He can’t answer that. He looks back down at the sink and continues to run the water over the glasses and place them into the dishwasher, face burning in shame. “I never meant to cause Jesse any discomfort,” he says instead, voice quiet. “I asked him for help because he is my best friend, nothing more. I always gave him a choice to end it.”

Ana hums, reaching over to drop a stack of soapy dishes into his half of the sink when she notices he’s running low on cups. “Is that so?” Genji nods and she huffs. “In my opinion, you’ve done nothing but use him like you would an accessory -- and that’s my outlook as someone who helped raise him.”

Genji doesn’t answer. He knows she’s right.

“But--” Ana heaves a sigh, her hands slowing as they scrub at dishes. “I can tell you never meant to do any of this maliciously. You’ve got a good heart, I can see how much you care about Jesse. I noticed you trying to figure out why he was in such a foul mood before dinner -- if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have seen or asked. All I ask of you is to please consider Jesse’s feelings in this whole relationship.”

She raises her chin, and gives Genji a glare that makes him feel rooted to the spot, a tightening in his chest. “And if you hurt him, I will not hesitate to tell everyone what’s really going on between you two.”

_Hurt_ him? Genji can’t of a single situation where he’d _ever_ want to hurt Jesse -- or why in the world would he ever do that. He pulls himself up. “I would never do that.”

Ana doesn’t break their stare for a few seconds, not backing down. Genji does his best to keep staring back, but right as he feels himself start to crack she raises a delicate grey eyebrow and returns to the dishes. “Hmm. I believe you. Go on, you’re done.”

“What?” Genji’s barely gotten done with half of his stack of plates. “I’m not--”

“I didn’t actually need any help,” she reveals with a smirk. “I just needed an excuse to get you alone. You really think I’m really that old that I’d need a fit young man like yourself to help me rinse off plates?” Her eye is telling him he’d better watch how he answers, and Genji finds words lodged in his throat. He shakes his head quickly, and she gives him a laugh. “Good boy. Go and find Jesse. I’m sure he’s worried that I might try to eat you alive.”

_“Arigatō, Obāsan,”_ he says, bowing his head, and she just waves him away, and he turns to go find Jesse.

He peeks into the living room to find Jesse laying across the couch with his eyes closed, boots kicked off beside him. This was the room Sombra and Symmetra were in earlier before, evident by the fire still crackling in the fireplace and the television hanging above it. There’s no one else in the room, just himself and Jesse. Genji pads in and Jesse cracks an eye open, going to sit up, but Genji shakes his head and just climbs over to lay on top of him. He tucks his face into Jesse’s shoulder and lets out a deep sigh as he lets his arm hang over Jesse’s chest and off the side of the couch. “Your Aunt is terrifying, Jesse. I thought she was going to kill me.”

Jesse relaxes underneath him and laughs a little, raising a hand to drag through Genji’s hair comfortingly. “Now you know how I felt when she cornered me in the garage earlier. Didn’t she want you to finish the dishes with her? I can still hear the water running.”

Genji gives a tired shake of the head. With the momentary adrenaline rush in being found out wearing off on top of all the food he’s just eaten, he’s starting to feel exhaustion seep into his bones. Jesse isn’t helping with his fingers running through his hair. “She told me she needed an excuse to get me alone. She didn’t need any help to begin with.”

Jesse laughs again, a quiet sound that rumbles through his chest, but when it passes his lips it sounds almost like a sigh. “Yep, that’s Ana alright. You’ll never get used to her, sugar, trust me.” He pauses for a moment. “What’d she say to you?”

“Just told me not to hurt you or she’ll tell everyone what’s going on,” Genji says into Jesse’s shirt, sliding his eyes closed. He’s so comfortable here, feeling warm and safe with Jesse so close, he might just fall asleep. “I would never do that to you.” Jesse says nothing in return, just hums and continues to card his fingers through Genji’s hair. After a moment Genji remembers something. “Earlier Gabriel said I was the first person you’ve ever brought home to a family event. Is that really true?”

Jesse laughs again. “Honey, how many people did you think I dated before this? Of course you’re the first. You’ve been a _lot_ of firsts for me.”

“Really?” Genji opens his eyes and props himself up on his arm so he can look his friend in the face, tilting his head curiously. Jesse pulls his hand from Genji’s head and rests it on his back, shifting to slide his other arm under the back of his own head. “Tell me what firsts I took from you then.”

Red seeps into Jesse’s speckled cheeks, his expression instantly turning embarrassed. “Why’s it matter?” Genji just shrugs but doesn’t back down, and Jesse sighs. “Well, you were the first guy I brought home to meet Gabriel. First person I’ve dated for so long, first to give me a hickey, first guy to sleep with me who didn’t just blow me and leave….” Genji frowns when he trails off, the now familiar feeling of guilt pooling in his stomach again. Jesse notices it, reaching up to brush some of Genji’s hair out of his eyes. “What’s wrong, darlin’?”

“I… I feel bad I’m taking all these firsts from you,” Genji says, lowering himself back down to press his cheek against Jesse’s chest again. “All those things should be special. Memorable. I’m stealing it all just so I can avoid my own problems and it’s all fake. It’s not fair for me to do this to you.”

Jesse’s silent again, and Genji hears his heartbeat speed up in his chest underneath his ear. “But they all _were_ memorable,” Jesse murmurs, letting his hand rest at the back of Genji’s neck. “Just because they ain’t real don’t mean they ain’t special. Few people can say their first time was a result of getting too deep into teaching your partner how to cook.” He chuckles, but the joke doesn’t make Genji feel any better.

“But they should be with someone you care about…” he tries, but Jesse stops him.

“Look at me.” Genji lifts his head to see Jesse staring hard at him. “I _do_ care about you, Genji. Christ, why do you think I’ve kept this up for so long?” He sighs, and he sounds just as tired as Genji, wrapping both his arms around Genji’s frame to hold him. “Just ‘cause…” he pauses, something flickering through his eyes. “Just ‘cause we’re just friends don’t make it mean any less than it does. You’re special to me, so those firsts were special too.”

It sounds an awful lot like Jesse’s just settling with it, like he’s trying to make it seem like it’s not a big deal. “You promised me that you’d tell me the truth about whether I was making you uncomfortable or not,” Genji states. “On whether or not I was taking things too far. I want to hear the truth from you right now. Did I overstep your boundaries?”

Jesse frowns, a touch of anxiety appearing at the edge of his expression. “Babydoll, what are you--” he sighs again, dropping his head against the cushions as he squeezes his eyes shut. “I told you before: if I was uncomfortable, I would have said somethin’. I promise.”

Despite hearing the truth, or at least what Jesse is saying is the truth, something still feels wrong in the pit of Genji’s stomach. Teeth worrying at his bottom lip, he keeps his gaze on Jesse’s face for a moment longer before letting go and pressing his forehead into the middle of his friend’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs.

“What’re ya sorry for?”

He doesn’t know. He thought that maybe saying it out loud would help him figure it out. Genji shrugs his shoulders. “For being so difficult. You deserve better.”

Jesse huffs, sounding mildly exasperated. “I think I can decide what’s good for me or not, sweetheart.” He’s quiet for a moment before shifting a little, only stopping when he realizes he can’t move with Genji on top of him. “Sit up for me?”

Genji frowns, lifting his head again, but he does what’s asked of him so they’re both sitting up, him situated in Jesse’s lap. Jesse takes him by the hands and presses his mouth against each pair of knuckles, giving Genji a soft smile when he pulls away.

“May I?” he asks.

Genji nods wordlessly. He’s isn’t sure what’s gotten into him, but Jesse’s tender side is showing and he’s not about to say no to his best friend with what he’s put him through over the last few months. Not with the shame he feels tugging at his heart right now now that he’s reflected over all those things.

Jesse kisses him gently. Sweetly. It’s a lot different than any of their other kisses -- Genji may even go as far to say it’s _lovingly_ \-- but he can’t find it in his heart to kiss back. Jesse doesn’t seem at all perturbed by this, and after their lips connect for a few moments, he pulls away. It’s only after he’s left that Genji wishes he hadn’t pulled away, and then he feels immediate disgust with himself.

This is your best friend, you needy little _slut_.

“It’s not about what I deserve,” Jesse states firmly. “It’s what I want -- and what I _want_ is you by my side. I’ve told you before, our relationship, our _real_ one, is what’s most important to me.”

Genji’s heart skips a little from the way his friend is looking at him. Was he misreading signals here? Probably, there was no way what he _thinks_ is happening is actually happening. He pushes those thoughts away and buries them for good. He’s overthinking again -- besides, Jesse just confirmed he’s worrying over nothing. He doesn’t think Genji’s a bother, and he wants to keep up their friendship despite everything they’ve done together.

He lets out a breath and gives Jesse a tired smile. “Forgive me. I think I drank a little more than I should have if I’m getting over-emotional with you.” He drops his head into Jesse’s shoulder with a little laugh. “Thank you.”

They stay like that for a while, just holding each other and matching each other’s breaths, and only break apart when they hear chairs scraping against the ground from another part of the house. It must be time for dessert. Genji gets off of his friend and laughs when Jesse struggles to stand for a moment, (“You cut off the circulation to my legs, sugar. I can’t feel ‘em.”) but he still waits for him before returning to the kitchen where Ana already has the pies sliced and the dango skewers on a serving tray. Beside the dango is another tray of small treats that look like chocolates, but Genji can’t identify them.

“Oh, my _brigadeiro!”_ Lúcio exclaims in surprise when he sees them, giving Ana a big smile. “I almost forgot about those; thanks for putting ‘em out for me, ma’am!”

Hana makes a cooing sound when she sees the dango, already holding plate with a slice of apple pie that’s halfway gone. “I haven’t had dango in so long. I take it Genji brought it?”

The rest of the family buzzes with curiosity and excitement at the array of desserts to choose from, but Jesse and Genji hang back until everyone else has been served until taking what they want of their own. Genji is glad to see most of the dango has been taken, enough for Jesse and himself to have two skewers apiece before they’re completely gone. Most of the pies are gone as well, save a single slice of apple, but they agree to split it between the two of them and load up with a handful of Lúcio’s _brigadeiro_ to share.

While most of everyone’s returned to the dining room to eat, Sombra and Satya break off to head to the living room to eat alone, so Jesse and Genji figure if it’s alright for them to eat by themselves as well. They take a seat at the kitchen table to eat their spoils, pulling their chairs close together. Genji’s feeling a little run down anyway, not sure how much more socialization he can take with the claws of his exhaustion grabbed in him. Jesse appears tired himself, hiding a yawn behind a hand, so they figure after they eat they’ll say their goodbyes and head out.

The first thing Genji tastes is one of the chocolate treats that Lúcio had brought, and he instantly falls in love with them. He saves one or two to bring back to Hanzo, knowing his brother’s sweet tooth needs to meet these delicious confections, but otherwise has to hold back from eating them all before Jesse can have a couple.

“These’re really good,” Jesse says, mouth full of dango and an empty skewer between his fingers. Genji brightens, finishing his mouthful of chocolate before speaking.

“I’ll have to take you with me to Hanamura next time so you can actually taste professionally made dango. That was just my first attempt -- the ones back home are _so_ much better,” he says, and Jesse swallows his mouthful before reaching for his second skewer.

“No need, hon. Yours taste good enough I don’t need to try any of the fancy ones.”

Genji rolls his eyes and goes back to eating the rest of his dessert, waiting until Jesse is finished with his other treats before taking on the slice of pie. Even though it looks delicious, neither of them make a move for the first bite because of the resistance in their already filled stomachs. Jesse finally gives up.

“Just take it home with ya, darlin’,” he complains, leaning back in his chair. “I’m stuffed full to burstin’ -- I can’t eat another bite. I’m sure Hanzo’d want it anyway.”

With a laugh, Genji shakes his head. “My brother is more of a cake person, so I don’t think he would want it.” He still slides the tiny paper plate closer to himself. “But thank you. I can’t eat any of it right now either, but I will take it anyway.”

Jesse stands, stretching his arms over his head. “Not a problem, darlin’. Let me go get you some saran wrap for that so you don’t ruin it on the drive home.” He retreats to the kitchen and starts rummaging through drawers in order to find some, and Genji decides to check his phone to see if there are any messages from his brother.

He’s surprised to see it’s after eight o’clock, and is thankful that there aren’t any messages from any of his family members. That meant his father’s business trip was going well and there weren’t any issues that needed to be addressed.

He puts his phone away when Jesse returns with the box of plastic wrap, taking the two _brigadeiro_ that Genji has saved for Hanzo and sets them next to the pie before tearing off a long piece and wrapping the plate up. “There you go, hon,” Jesse says, taking the roll of plastic wrap back into the kitchen and putting in in the drawer he found it in. “Let me go tell Gabriel we’re leaving, and then I can take you home.”

He makes his way back into the dining room and leaves Genji to himself, and he stands up to get ready to leave. He's a bit relieved; Hanzo’s the only one who will be home tonight so he’s not dreading the return to the manor. As much as he’d love to stay with Jesse, he isn’t sure if his friend is really up for anything like that tonight. Besides; he has treats for Hanzo.

With another yawn, he sees Jesse and Gabriel return from the dining room, Jesse wearing his hat and motioning for Genji to follow them down the hallway to the door, so he grabs his small package of food and walks after them. “Where’s everyone else?” he asks curiously, and Jesse gives him a grin.

“Gabe’s the only one seeing us out. He doesn’t want it to become a big event.”

“You sure you have to leave so early?” Gabriel asks, opening up a closet and pulling out their coats before handing it to each of them. “Reinhardt was about to start telling his stories.”

Genji sets his plate of food on a table that’s next to the door so he can wrap his scarf around his neck as Jesse laughs a little. “Yeah, I gotta get Genji home. His brother’s expectin’ him, and we’re both pretty tired. Everything was great, though. I had a lot of fun seein’ everyone again.”

When his coat is on and buttoned up, Genji takes his tiny paper plate and gives Jesse’s father a smile and a tiny bow of the head. “Thank you for having me, Gabriel, it was nice of you to let me come. Congratulations on your engagement.”

Gabriel makes a face, but he’s still smiling. “Of course I’d let you come. If your important to Jesse, you’re important to us and we’d want you here.” He opens his arms for a hug and Genji accepts, stepping into the embrace. _God_ did Gabriel give the best hugs -- Genji almost doesn’t want to let go. “Don’t be such a stranger, okay? If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.” Begrudgingly, he pulls away from Gabriel’s hug, and Gabriel moves onto his son. He puts his hands on Jesse’s shoulders.

“That goes double for you, Jess. I know you have more time off now, I’ll want your help with all this planning that’s coming up.” Gabriel holds Jesse at arms length, his expression serious. “I want your input. This is… really big for me. You’ll help settle my nerves a lot.”

Jesse gives Gabriel an exasperated smile. “Of course I will. We’re a team, you never let me forget that. You’ve been there for me, now it’s my time to be there for you.” He hugs Gabriel tightly. “Love ya, Pops. I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you too. I’ll call you when we start getting the ball rolling on this whole thing.” Finally, they pull away from each other and Gabriel reaches for the door so they can leave, unlocking it before pulling it open. “Drive safe you two! Have a good night!”

They wave as they step out into the cold of the incoming winter so they can walk to Jesse’s truck. Genji almost wishes they had stayed just to stay in the warmth, but they both pile into the truck as soon as Jesse unlocks it to get out of the wind. Jesse turns the truck on as quickly as he can to get the heat on, cupping his hands and blowing into them to keep them warm in the meantime.

“Boy howdy,” he mutters, “I didn’t think it’d be this cold out already.”

“It _is_ late November,” Genji points out, to which Jesse just shrugs off. Genji rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone to text his brother that they were leaving the Reyes-Morrison household now and he’d be home shortly. He gets one back almost instantly that says Hanzo’s leaving the front door open for him so he doesn’t have to knock.

Jesse fiddles with the radio for a moment before finding a station to listen to, and once the truck’s warm enough he puts it into drive and starts the ride back to Shimada manor.

It’s mostly a quiet ride. Neither of them are very talkative because they’re tired and they just spent the last few hours talking with family members, so they sit in a comfortable silence. Or, it’s comfortable to Genji at least; Jesse looks like something is bothering him, his eyes locked hard on the road as he chews on the inside of his cheek.

Genji doesn’t bring anything up. If it was important, Jesse would say something, right?

After a long fifteen minutes, Jesse pulls up in front of Shimada manor and puts the car in park before turning it off. Genji glances over at him quizzically -- he wasn’t coming in, was he? He wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea, per say, he just wasn’t sure how much Hanzo would appreciate it.

“I…” Jesse swallows, dropping his hands into his lap. “I need to talk to you.”

Genji’s blood turns to ice. Jesse’s tone is anything but joking, his face grim as he stares at the steering wheel -- he won’t meet Genji’s eyes. This was serious.

“Sure, what’s up?” He nearly winces at how casual he sounds compared to his friend, biting down on his tongue. Jesse sits there silently for a moment, anxiety rolling off of him in waves and it’s starting to make Genji’s stomach twist uncomfortably.

“It’s about--” Jesse pauses to suck in a sharp breath, fingers drumming against his thigh “-- about us. About our fake relationship. I wasn't gonna tell you back at the house but... I can’t do this anymore.”

…

What?

The declaration hits him harder than Jesse saying they needed to talk, his stomach free-falling into his feet but for some reason it never hits the bottom. Jesse is looking at his hands, looking ashamed and Genji has to shake off his initial shock to respond, but all that comes out is a simple and weak, “Why?”

Jesse shuts his eyes, grimacing. “It’s… you didn’t do anythin’. It’s my fault. I’m using you, and it’s making me feel awful and I just can’t let myself be selfish like this anymore.” He turns his head away so Genji can’t see his face. “M’sorry.”

That was _it?_ They talked about this -- they agreed that neither of them felt used and it was okay! Genji says so, tripping over his words -- but Jesse shakes his head. He raises it to look out the window, and the faint reflection that appears from the lights from the dashboard looks sad. Movement catches Genji’s eye and he looks down -- Jesse’s hands are trembling.

“It ain’t like that, darlin’. This is different, trust me.”

“How could it possibly be any different?” Genji asks, voice rising a little due to his nerves because he’s so confused and hurt _and_ \--! He thought they worked this out, he thought everything was okay between them, they talked about this more than once and the end result was always the same. Something doesn’t feel right, like Jesse isn’t telling the whole story here and leaving Genji purposely in the dark and he needs to see the whole picture here. “I don’t understand.”

Shoulders raising a little defensively, Jesse frowns but he still won’t look Genji’s way and it’s _actually_ starting to piss Genji off a little. Why won’t he look at him? “It just is, Genji. Drop it. I don’t want to talk about it,” he says, voice hanging on irritated. He was shutting down, just like he did when people were sticking their noses too far into his business -- Genji needs to get the answer out of him before Jesse drops the conversation for good. He makes a face.

“I’m not going to drop this, I deserve an explanation,” Genji argues, taking his seat belt off to twist himself in his seat to look straight at his best friend. “There’s two of us here, and only one of us is at a full understanding of this situation. I don’t understand how this is any different than what we talked about! You just… ending it like this -- I’m so confused.” He glares at Jesse, who looks like he wants to shrink down and disappear, which in any other situation would look hilarious considering how tall he actually is, but Genji forces himself to remain focused on the issue at hand. “You can’t really expect me to just accept that you want to end this when you _just_ told me about wanting to stay by my side--”

“This is different!” Jesse repeats desperately. “Please, Genji, just trust me.”

“How?!” Genji can’t decide whether he wants to cry or scream -- everything just feels wrong and he hates it. Jesse still won’t look at him and it’s making him ache terribly. “We agreed that everything was alright! What happened between then and now for you to suddenly change your mind?!”

“Nothing!”

“Then tell me what’s wrong--” and Jesse _breaks._

“I’m in love with you!” he bursts out, twisting his head to look Genji’s way, and the expression on Jesse’s face makes Genji just _stop_ . He stops arguing, stops thinking, stops _breathing._ The heavy air in the truck that’s been building as they argued presses down on them both like an invisible weight and they just stare at each other for what feels like an eternity: Jesse like a cornered animal and Genji wide-eyed from the verbal impact.

Jesse lets out a shaky breath at the sudden silence that’s filled the car, turning away from Genji’s stare. His voice is barely audible; a fraction of the volume he used just moments before when he speaks again. He sounds scared, defeated; a horrible cocktail of feelings Genji hoped he would never have to hear from his lips. “I… I’m in love with you, Genji. I warned you that I’d fall for you, but I was lying. I already had.”

_That’s impossible,_ Genji wants to say, but he can’t find the words to do so. Not when Jesse looks the way he does. He wishes Jesse would laugh, tell him it’s just a joke, and they can pretend this never happened and go on with their lives.

That moment never comes.

“I need to end this because I’m in love with you,” Jesse repeats quietly, shaking his head. “It ain’t fair I’m usin’ you to do all the things I _want_ to do with you just to keep up a lie, and it ain’t fair to me knowing none of it’s real to you.” He lets out a breathless laugh, but it’s devoid of humor. “It’s _killin’_ me, Genji. Every time you laugh it off, remind me how none of it’s real -- it feels like you’re jamming a nail in my heart. But I kept at it, because I wanted to make sure you could live the way you wanted, but I just can’t anymore. It’s hurtin’ me too much.”

Genji should say something. He should say something to make Jesse feel better, to reassure him that it was okay. Tell him that he appreciated Jesse’s honestly and he’d do everything in his power to make things right. He should.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Jesse.”

What comes out of his mouth instead is a statement he’s used far too many times when turning people down -- but they were all people he had no care for. Faceless classmates or one night stands that came forward with feelings that Genji just wasn’t prepared to deal with. Saying this to Jesse is making his heart rip in half because he feels the crushing responsibility of being the reason Jesse’s even figured out his feelings in the first place. If he hadn’t thought of this stupid fucking idea, he’d never have to sit here and break his friend’s heart.

Jesse laughs again, humorless and heartbreaking, and drops his head to rest on his steering wheel. “Just what I thought. It _was_ just me. I’m such a fucking fool,” he says, voice watery, and Genji wants to reach out and comfort him but he feels like a firefly in a glass jar; trapped inside his own body as he watches his friend fall apart in front of him.

_And it’s all his fault._

“I… I can’t do this. I need a few days to myself,” Jesse says after another long and uncomfortable silence, hands white-knuckle tight around the wheel. “Please just give me a couple days before I’m ready to talk to you again. I can’t -- I can’t let this affect our friendship negatively. I just need some time alone. Please.”

Genji’s heart lurches, his stomach finally hitting the pavement from it’s earlier free fall. He feels a wave of nausea. “Jesse--”

“Please just leave. You don’t have to say anything. It’s fine.”

His shattered tone is another blow to the heart, but Genji can’t think of any other way to help his friend other than respecting his wishes. Letting Jesse be alone is the least he can do right now; especially since he’s beaten Jesse’s heart to death and back. He gathers his things and opens the passenger door before stepping out, trying not to hear the muffled hiccup that comes from behind him, forcing himself to look ahead.

“I’m so sorry.”

He shuts the door, and walks forward, his head and heart in a hazy fog of guilt and regret and everything between them. He isn’t even halfway to his door when he hears Jesse’s truck start and drive off into the night, and he almost stops to turn around, but he forces himself not to and steps the rest of the way to the door to go inside.

The manor is silent, but then he hears a _“welcome back”_ in his mother tongue from the kitchen and makes his way to the source on autopilot, not really focusing on anything as he passes and not bothering to remove his coat or scarf or shoes. He knows Hanzo’s the only one home; he doesn’t care if he looks like hell in front of him.

“How was the party?” his brother asks when he steps into the kitchen. Genji blinks, pulling his eyes from the floor to focus on his brother. He’s in his pajamas with a book and a cup of tea, sitting at the counter. His cat Mozu is sitting in his lap, her gaze looking right into Genji’s soul like she knows exactly what has happened and she judges him for it.

_"How could you?"_ her eyes taunt. 

Genji says the only thing that’s echoing around in his mind.

“He’s in love with me.”

Hanzo’s eyes raise from the book to see Genji standing before him. He hums, takes a sip of his tea, and returns to his book. “So he finally told you. Good.”

In his current emotional state, the words are slow to process, but Genji stares at him until the pieces connect. His stomach sours. “You… you knew? And you didn’t tell me?”

Hanzo laughs loud enough that Mozu gives him a dirty look for disturbing her and hops off his lap onto the hardwood floor. “He told me not to say anything to you,” he says, shutting his book after sliding a marker between the pages. He looks incredibly amused at this whole situation, which is making Genji feel even _more_ like shit. “Honestly, I thought you would have noticed by now.”

So it was that obvious to everyone else -- everyone but him. Genji shakes his head as his gaze drops to the floor. He still feels like he needs to throw up. He was under the impression that Jesse was just doing his best to play the part they had agreed to and was succeeding fantastically. His throat burns; he isn’t sure if it’s because of tears or bile.

“Genji?” Hanzo’s voice breaks into his thoughts, this time worried rather than smug. “Are you okay?”

He absolutely isn’t. “I made him cry.” His voice is hoarse, his eyes wet around the corners and he can hear his tone shake. “I was so shocked when he told me I didn’t know what to say to him. I made him cry.” He looks up to his brother helplessly when the tears start to spill over. “I didn’t even say goodnight-- I just left him there. I’m _horrible.”_

Hanzo steps down from the stool and hushes him gently, taking the plate of leftover dessert from his hands before pulling him into an embrace. “You’re not horrible,” he murmurs, petting the back of Genji’s head as he cries into his shoulder. “If you really had no idea, your surprise is entirely reasonable.”

“He must hate me now,” Genji sobs, but Hanzo shushes him.

“He does not hate you. It’s exactly the opposite and you know that.”

“I broke his heart, Hanzo! I’m the one who started this whole thing, it’s all my fault. I deserve to be hated.” Genji feels like a kid again, crying in his brother’s arms while the two of them were alone. He certainly feels as lost as he did back then, unsure of what to do or how to proceed now that he’s ruined his longest friendship -- all because he couldn’t grow up and take on his responsibilities like an adult. “I _deserve_ this.”

“You do not.” Hanzo’s voice is as firm as it is gentle. He sighs. “Come, I’ll get you some tea and you can tell me everything that happened. I know you didn’t expect this, but you do not deserve it.”

He leads Genji to the stool beside his own before heading back to the stove and preparing another cup of tea after getting a box of tissues and setting it in front of him. Genji doesn’t take any; he just puts his head in his hands and tries not to imagine what Jesse is doing right now. Was he okay? Was he driving safe? Was he thinking about him?

He feels Hanzo sit next to him before he hears him, a cup sliding in front of him next to the tissues. “Breathe, little brother,” he soothes, rubbing at Genji’s back. Genji didn’t even realize he was still crying -- he fights to compose himself. “It’s going to be alright. Tell me what happened tonight.”

With a sharp inhale, Genji nods and starts to recount everything that happened. From before they left Jesse’s apartment to their conversation before dinner. Jesse’s skittishness all evening. How something seemed to be off between the two of them but Genji just attributed it to their previous meeting. He doesn’t leave out their one night stand.

Hanzo waits until he’s finished before shutting his eyes. He looks tired under his mask of indifference. “You slept together.” It’s not a question. Genji just nods, and Hanzo reaches for his tea, raising a hand to rub his temple. “And dare I ask whose idea that was?”

“...mine.” Genji’s voice is raw. He stares at his tea but doesn't reach for it, watching steam curl from the liquid within. He hears Mozu mewl a tiny bit and rub her side against the bottom of his stool, her tail winding around his ankle. “I thought -- I never would have done it if I knew. I didn't think there were any feelings attached, I would have never--” He stops, unable to finish. He can’t keep thinking about it-- how this newfound knowledge explains all of Jesse’s behaviors that night. He's an _idiot._ He has to change the subject. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I imagine it’s because he didn’t want you feeling like this,” Hanzo points out. “Anyone who cares for someone would never want to see them in pain like this.”

Genji squeezes his eyes shut, knotting his fingers in his hair. “What I’m feeling right now is _nothing_ compared to how he must be feeling. If you had seen the way he looked at me, Hanzo, you’d hate me as much as he does.” Jesse had looked the weakest he’d ever been, defeated under the crushing weight of rejection from someone he should have been able to trust with those feelings. Genji hadn’t even _tried_ to catch them to prevent them from shattering when they fell, and now they both had shards in them. “I wish I could have said something to him. I feel like the worst person alive. He doesn’t deserve having a friend like me.”

His brother doesn’t correct him, which Genji feels is appropriate and he’s grateful. After a few moments of silence, Hanzo sighs. “Have you ever considered why you might be feeling this horrible about hurting McCree?”

Genji looks up and gives his brother a perplexed look, Hanzo’s obvious question a thorn in his side. “Are you really asking me this right now? Are you an idiot?” When Hanzo says nothing, returning the look by tapping his fingers against his tea to how he was waiting for an answer. Genji frowns and looks back to the counter. “It’s because… he’s important to me. He was the first friend I made here when we moved. Jesse made that first year of learning to properly speak English and learning American customs _bearable_ , especially since we had to leave Mom behind in Hanamura.”

Hanzo looks disappointed. “That’s not exactly what I meant--” he starts, but he’s cut off by the sound of his cell phone ringing. His face falls and takes it to check the caller ID, his frown deepening when he recognizes the name and he rises off his stool to stand. “It’s Father’s assistant. I have to take this.” He answers in Japanese. _“Hello?”_

Any feelings of wanting to drink the tea Hanzo’s prepared for him are upheaved when Genji sees the expression that passes over his brother’s face. It pales, Hanzo’s usual blank mask he wears when talking about business slipping morphing into one of shock. He struggles to compose himself. _“What happened?”_ he demands, but he can barely get it out before he stops again to listen. It’s another long pause before he presses his mouth into a hard line. _“Yes. Yes, I understand. We’re on our way,”_ he says before he ends the call and looks in Genji’s direction. “Pull yourself together, we need to leave.”

Genji blinks, his stomach twisting harshly as he stands up himself. The panic that jolts him up settles badly over his grief and it only adds to his nausea. “What’s wrong? Where are we going?”

“The hospital,” Hanzo says quietly, turning towards the direction of the hallway. “Father collapsed at the airport before getting on the plane. It isn’t looking good for him, and he has some things he wants to say to us if he….” His brother trails off, looking conflicted as he hangs in the doorway. “We just need to hurry.”

It’s like the world stops around him, the unspoken words his brother refused to give slowing piecing together as he fights through the sludge and muck of his fluctuating emotions. At long last, the gravity of the situation hits Genji like a train as time starts to move again, and he’s jerking towards the ground and vomiting before he can stop himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God, he needs a drink. He needs several. Just enough to keep his mind off the hurricane inside his head that hurts so badly. To numb it. To ignore it. Being blackout drunk is something he wish he were right now -- that way he couldn’t even dream if he tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all your comments and kudos and concerns for genji and jesse (don't worry about them too much. they'll get their heads outta their asses pretty soon lol) but seriously!! the amount of support and love for this fic continues to blow me away!! you are all so kind and lovely and i appreciate all of you <3
> 
> with all my thanks out of the way, please enjoy the next chapter!!

 “I’m so sorry.”

The passenger door on his truck shuts with a final slam, and it's like a nail in a coffin. The final shot in a revolver. Jesse’s heart cracks right through the middle and both halves fall from his chest and splinter into a million pieces when they hit the ground. He has to force himself to pull himself together enough make his way home, and he doesn’t even wait to see if Genji makes it inside before driving off.

The drive back to the apartment is unbearable. He can’t stop thinking about Genji: the image of his friend when the truth burst from his chest, the guilt pooling from every part of Genji’s expression and nothing resembling the requited feelings he Jesse was longing for. He can’t tell what hurts more: the fact he’s driven away his closest friend by telling him how he loved him or how that even _now_ his heart is craving the comforting touch of that very friend to ease the pain he’s suffering.

He’s fucked up _so_ badly.

Jesse has to pull off on the side of the road to collect himself, the tears he’s holding back blurring his vision too much and impairing him from seeing the road clearly. Luckily, there aren’t too many people on the road this evening due to the holiday and he pulls off at a bar he sees along the way. He parks near the back in a dark part of the lot and shuts off the engine before he lets out a shuddering sigh and scrubs at his eyes.

Crying never helped anything when situations were out of his control. He’d already learned that lesson years ago.

He sees the lights inside the place on, meaning it was open, and with an uneven breath he unbuckles himself and grabs his wallet from a compartment under the radio before he gets out of the truck. He knows it’s a bad idea to step inside the place because he won't leave without buying something as he sees a part of the bar where he can buy alcohol by the bottle, and every one of his vices are begging him all at once for some relief.

There’s the chime of bells when he opens the door to let himself in, and there’s a man behind the counter near the cash register that just acknowledges him by lifting his eyes from a magazine in his hands and giving a nod. Jesse nods back, and pulls a bottle of Buffalo Trace from a shelf before setting it on the counter and fishing for his wallet to cover it.

The cashier stands up from his seat and starts ringing him up.

“Rough night, pal?”

Despite not being up for much talking, Jesse still answers him as he fumbles with bills, voice raw.

“Tops my list for shitty holiday experiences.”

The cashier hums. “You have a nasty breakup? No one buys that bourbon unless they’re trying to forget. That shit’s nearly one-fifty proof.” Jesse doesn’t answer, the words feeling almost like someone’s poking a broken limb with a stick, and just holds the money out and waits. The cashier doesn’t seem at all offended, like he knows he’s asked something he shouldn’t have, but he still shakes his head as he takes the payment from Jesse’s hands and opens the cash register. “Promise me you won’t open that bottle ‘till you get home, kid. Trace can get nasty.”

Jesse doesn’t answer him verbally, nodding before muttering to keep the change and receipt before snatching his bottle and retreating from the store. He isn’t in the mood to continue the conversation, not wanting to get choked up again, but his manners nag him enough that he still wishes the man thanks and a good night before he steps back outside to get to his truck.

He makes sure he’s calmed down enough to drive the rest of the way home without any trouble, and he’s back at his apartment before ten. He takes another moment to pull himself together before heading inside the building -- he doesn’t want any of his neighbors to question his sobriety or emotional stability if he runs into any of them looking this wrecked and carrying a bottle wrapped in a paper bag. He could do without the pity.

When he pulls his apartment door shut and locks it behind him, however, he sinks to the ground as a fresh wave of hurt forces him to his knees. He desperately tries not to think back on the day as whole because it’s exhausting how many times his emotions have doubled back on themselves over the course of few hours. Not to mention the fantastically horrible cherry-on-top ending that was him breaking down in tears when Genji turned him down. He squeezes his eyes shut and relishes the burning he feels at the base of his throat -- he figures that’d be more than enough than keep his feelings from overflowing again.

He unscrews the cap of his bourbon and takes a long swig, making a face when it burns going down, but it’s a better burn than the one of oncoming tears.

After a few more moments of wallowing, he forces himself to stand and at least shuck his boots and coat and hat, which he just dumps in a pile next to the door. He doesn’t have the energy to really do anything more with them. He drags himself to his couch and plants himself face first into the cushions, hanging over the end thanks to his long legs, and decides to think a little more critically on the situation. Even though it hurt like a bitch, he couldn’t let himself get too carried away in his emotions -- that was the easiest way to destroy whatever kind of relationship he had left with Genji by making him stew in negativity. Besides, he won’t be too coherent in a bit when this alcohol finally hits him, so he might as well do it now.

Despite having his confession being forced out of him, he finds himself upset over the fact that his feelings are unrequited more than anything. He doesn’t regret telling Genji that he loves him, he only wishes it had been done in a way that hadn’t stressed the both of them out the way it did. Genji had far more to worry about at home with the upcoming end of the year, so it’s not fair that he had to stress over the fact Jesse fell for him on top of that.

He hates that his first instinct is to call Genji and apologize, but he doesn't. That would kind of ruin Jesse’s need for space at the moment, especially since he's the one that requested it. The next person he thinks about calling is Hanzo, because he was the only other one who knew the truth behind their now-broken fake relationship, but he can’t find it in his heart to do so. He probably had his hands full with his younger brother at the moment, there was no need to bother him.

Jesse turns to the next best thing than calling either of the Shimadas for coping with his broken heart: drinking ‘till he can’t keep his eyes open. He doesn’t have to worry about work, he called off for tomorrow ahead of time since he wasn’t sure how tonight was going to lead. He’s struck with the thought that he has a bottle of Jack Daniels he had saved in his cupboard for a special occasion -- and getting blackout drunk to forget about his unfortunate evening seems as good as a reason as any. Still, the Buffalo Trace he had picked up will do the job. He forgoes getting a glass and continues to drink straight out of the bottle as he turns on the television for some mindless noise.

He nearly forgets that Ana told him to call her once he had done what she had asked of him earlier that night, and unfortunately it’s a few swigs of bourbon too late. He fumbles with his phone and holds it to his ear. Immediately as she picks up, words rush out of his chest without the barrier of sobriety he usually has. “I did it. S'done.”

_“Jesse? Are you alright?”_ she asks with obvious concern to his slightly slurred words, and Jesse -- who’s lost the ability to think clearly before he speaks by now -- just laughs bitterly.

“I feel like shit,” he states, hating how watery his voice is beginning to sound again. He nearly rolls off the couch when he tries to grab the remote to turn off the television, swearing when the remote clatters to the floor when he fails to grab it properly. “I told ‘im and he didn’ even say nothin’. It hurts so bad, Ana, it hurts an’ I hate it. I want it t’stop.”

_“Are you at home?”_ she asks, and Jesse confirms with a mumble into the receiver. Ana hums to herself. _“I’m coming over. Unlock the door for me, sweetheart, okay? I’ll be over in about ten minutes.”_

If he wasn’t so drunk, he’d probably lie and say he didn’t need her company so she didn’t have to worry about driving the whole way over to his apartment, but he’s craving some sort of physical comfort. Even if he wanted to tell her no, he doesn’t get the time to do so before she’s hung up on him and he’s all alone again. He takes another swig of Trace to punish himself when his body longs for Genji’s comforting presence, his heart reminding him _Genji_ was the reason he felt like such trash in the first place.

_It’s not his fault,_ his last few sober brain cells remind gently. _You dumped all of this so suddenly on him. He had no idea you felt that way. You were the one to ask for space._

They’re right. Genji’s face had shifted from shock to guilt in a matter of seconds, and that was all Jesse could handle before he couldn’t look anymore. Genji had wanted to say something, but Jesse was drowning in his emotions and he needed an out as soon as possible so he wouldn’t do anything rash -- so he pushed him away.

_God_ he needs more alcohol. He swigs long and hard from the bottle and pushes all his intruding thoughts away with the harsh taste of bourbon.

At some point he goes and opens the door for Ana when she knocks, stumbling a little as he makes his way through his apartment. He probably looks like hell -- hell, he knows he does when Ana frowns at him when she takes in his appearance. Not a disappointed frown, but one of worry. Jesse’s surprised he’s still sober enough to be able to tell the difference.

“Please put the bottle down, sweetheart,” she soothes, taking it from his fingers and placing it on the table next to the door. She steps inside and pulls the door shut behind her, latching it while taking his hand and leading him back to where he was sitting on the couch. She sits, pulling him down with her, before placing both her hands on either of his cheeks. “Tell me what happened, Jesse. I’m here to listen.”

It’s hard for him to focus on her face, is vision is starting to swim a little -- maybe it was a bad idea to drink most of that bottle. “I… I told him we needed to stop,” he says slowly, trying not to slur his words so Ana can understand him. “He wanted to know why; he was upset with me for askin’ so sudden like, and it just--” he gestures outwardly with his hands. “--burst outta me.”

“And he didn’t accept your confession?” Ana asks slowly, her voice gentle. Jesse flinches, his already broken heart cracking a little more, and he feels his hands start to shake again. He nods his head. “What happened after that?” Ana’s voice hasn’t been this careful with him since the whole custody case -- for some reason it makes Jesse feel even more like crying again.

“He… he apologized to me. He didn’t feel the same way.” He struggles to keep his voice from growing any tighter than it already was. “Then I dropped him off and came back home.”

For some reason, Ana ends up growing a puzzled look before it’s wiped off her face completely and she sighs deeply. She pulls him into a hug, soothing him by pulling a hand through his hair. “It’s alright, _habib._ Everything will work out in the end.” She shifts so the two of them are more comfortable, and the way he ends up with his head in her lap makes him flash back to being a child again. If he weren’t so drunk and upset he’d probably be a little embarrassed about it.

“What if I just ruined our friendship?” Jesse asks quietly, and Ana shakes her head as she drags her fingers across his scalp.

“You’re thinking too much, Jesse. I know it hurts right now, but when you get a little time to think after all this alcohol wears off, things will start to make sense to you.” She hums softly. “Just relax and be still _._ Everything will be alright.”

Jesse can’t stop himself before burying his face into the front of her shirt, feeling her wrap him in a gentle embrace. They’re quiet for a little bit, Ana beginning to hum some kind of song that’s rocketing Jesse back to his childhood but he can’t think of a name thanks to the nearly full bottle of whiskey in his system. Bits and pieces of his conversation with Ana float around in his brain, and when he’s struck with a thought he finds himself speaking up again. “Please don’t tell anyone the real reason we were datin’, please. I couldn’t stand to see Genji even more hurt over this.”

Ana cards her fingers through his hair with a deep sigh. “I wouldn’t do that to either of you. Genji is a nice boy underneath all that bravado, I know he never meant to hurt you. Things just got a bit out of control, and neither of you knew when enough was too much.”

It’s true. The entire time they were playing their game, Jesse knew where the line was drawn and knew not to cross it, but when the time came and they were standing on that line, all he wanted was more, more, _more._ More of Genji’s lips, more of Genji’s throat, more of Genji’s skin. He wanted to hold him and never let go.

It still holds true now, even though Jesse’s chest hurts so badly from being told no.

“Is it bad I miss him already?” he asks quietly. “I wish he was here.”

“No.” Ana’s nails scrape gently against his scalp. “If you love him as much as you’ve told me, then there’s no way you’d get over him in only a few hours. It’s quite alright to miss him, him inadvertently hurting you or not.” She sighs a little, her hands stilling. “Just as I told Gabriel all those years ago, it’s alright to miss them and wish they were with you. You just need to realize that space is what you need right now.”

She’s right, like usual. Still, Jesse’s hazy, drunken part of his brain is craving the touch of his best friend. He fights against it weakly. “I know. I just wish I wasn’t such a coward and listened to what he had to say.” A sigh escapes his lips. “I wish I could talk to him right now. See what he’s feeling.”

He was most likely asleep by now, or plagued with thoughts like Jesse is. Either way, the call of a heavy, drunken sleep is calling Jesse’s name when the alcohol continues to do it’s work, and he starts to drift off.

He just hopes that wherever Genji is, he’s feeling better than him.

 

 

 

Hanzo hurries him into a bathroom while he goes to get help to clean up the mess in the kitchen Genji had left. When Genji finishes puking his guts out, he takes a moment to try and get rid of the taste of bile on his tongue by brushing his teeth. He steps out and mindlessly moves to the sound of his brother waiting by the door, speaking quickly into a phone and looking more presentable than he had been: his hair tied up out of his face, but he’s still wearing his sweatpants. Genji can’t help but think it’s strange that his brother hadn’t changed, it distracts him long enough to miss Hanzo’s conversation with whoever he’s on the phone with. His brother hangs up after a moment, his face grim, but he says nothing to him.

Neither of them speak, both too wound up to get a word out, and the drive to the hospital is unbearably long. The radio isn’t touched, only the sound of the engine filling the space between them beside the tension and anxiety that’s suffocating them both. Genji just pulls his knees to his chest and squeezes his eyes tight enough to see stars, wanting to curl into himself and disappear.

When Hanzo and Genji finally walk into the hospital, their father’s secretary Himiko is waiting in a waiting chair near the front desk. Genji notices she’s looking ruffled and teary, wiping carefully at her eyes with a tissue to avoid smudging her eye makeup, and his heart lurches again.

She stands when they catch her eye and bows her head before gesturing for them to follow, stuffing her tissue in a pocket of her pencil skirt, and they make their way to an elevator. She punches in a floor number in that Genji doesn’t focus on when one finally opens up. He’s still feeling sick even though he threw up everything he had in his stomach before they got in the car, and Hanzo keeps glancing worriedly at him as he talks with Himiko. He doesn’t hear what they’re saying -- his mind is buzzing with too many thoughts to be able to focus on their words.

He could lose his father tonight.

The thought brings him an unimaginable amount of fear -- his stomach curls in on itself and he nearly dry-heaves in the elevator, but he holds it back. He needs to calm down, as nothing has been set in stone, but at the same time he wants to kick and scream and beg that his father won’t be taken from him tonight. He thinks about his mother, if she’s the one pulling him away from the land of the living, and he can’t help but feel a seed of resentment even though the rational part of his brain knows it’s ridiculous to do so.

He just can’t lose his father the same night he lost his best friend.

The elevator doors open before too long and they step out and follow Himiko down the hallway to the room where their father is staying. It’s oddly silent in the building, almost uncomfortably so, the only sound echoing along the hall being Himiko’s heels and Genji’s own stumbling steps as they make their way past room after room. He usually has pretty good control of how much sound he makes when he walks, years of sneaking out under his belt, but he feels like a puppet being pulled along by the strings. He’s not in control of his body -- fuck, he hasn’t been ever since he left Jesse’s presence.

After what feels like an eternity, they finally stop in front of a closed door and Himiko gestures for them to wait for a moment before stepping inside, leaving the door open a crack. _“Sir?”_ she asks in Japanese, quiet and careful. Genji can hear the raw tone at the edges of her voice even if it’s disguised near perfectly. _“Your sons are here.”_

_“Just a moment,”_ Sojiro replies, voice frail. It’s the worst Genji’s ever heard, and heart leaps back into his throat at the sound. He sucks in a choked sob before he can help himself, and Hanzo instantly reaches for his hand to ground him. Genji is grateful even if he can’t express it outwardly right now -- he needs the support terribly.

“Be brave,” his brother says in a hushed tone, giving his hand a quick squeeze. “For Father’s sake. Be brave and keep yourself together for him.”

Genji has to force himself to nod, and when he sees a clump of businessmen from the company step from the room to see him waiting there, he averts his eyes to look at the ground. He feels pity radiating off all of them and he wants to smother them all. They only pitied him now when his father was on Death’s doorstep -- any other time he saw them, they’d only look at him with disdain.

When all of them have shuffled out, Himiko gestures for the both of them to step in and Genji swallows bile that’s beginning to gather in the back of his throat again before making his way inside. He nearly bursts into tears when he finally gets a look at his Father’s condition.

Sojiro is laying in the bed, hooked up to an IV and looking frightfully pale as a heart monitor beeps away. He’s never been considered a small man, but due to his sickness and the amount of blankets and pillows he’s under, he looks tiny. Even with all the pain he must be in, he still gives his sons a warm smile when they enter. “You can leave now, Watanabe-san,” he says softly, and Himiko bows her head again before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her with a soft click.

It’s quiet for a few moments. No one seems to know what to say, a million things rising to the forefront of Genji’s mind but he doesn’t know what to day first. _I should have gone with you on that flight -- I lied about Jesse -- I was so selfish -- I’m so, so sorry -- you don’t deserve a son like me --_ but nothing comes out of his mouth. Finally, Sojiro sighs when he recognizes the expression on Genji’s face and raises an arm to gesture for him to come closer.

“Come now, Sparrow. Sit with me.” He pats the bed gently, and Genji takes a few hesitant steps before sitting down delicately and taking his Father’s hand. His skin is cold to the touch and Genji can barely keep himself together, a few rogue tears slip down his cheeks. His father hushes him, thumb gently running over the back of his hand. “Don’t cry for me. It’s finally my time to see your mother again.” He reaches for Hanzo. “Join me. Please. There are some things I want to discuss with you both before I pass on from this world.”

Hanzo nods without a word, making his way to the opposite side of the hospital bed their father is in and pulling up a chair so he doesn’t sit on the mattress as well, but he doesn’t take the outstretched hand. Genji keeps his own hands clamped around Sojiro’s, fearing that if he let go his father would disappear from right underneath him without letting him have a proper goodbye. He doesn’t bother to wipe away his tears.

“You both know that I was going to leave you each an equal piece of the company,” Sojiro goes on to say, and at this point Genji could really care less if he’s going to have to work for his family’s empire. He’s lost Jesse and soon his father due to his selfish negligence -- it only seems like a fair trade for him to lose his freedom as well. He nods when Hanzo does so, only so his father was aware he was paying attention. Sojiro takes a moment to cough, shuddering horrifically under Genji’s grip, but when he’s settled he returns back to the matter at hand. “After a lot of thought, and talking it through with your brother, I’ve decided to leave Hanzo as sole head of the company. It will be  _his_ decision whether to employ you or not.”

“And since I know how much you don’t want to work for me,” Hanzo interjects smoothly, reaching up to tuck a stray hair behind his ear, “We’ve decided that if your wish is to stay working for Tekhartha, then so be it. Your life should be lived the way you want it to be lived.”

Genji stops. He knows words are slow for him tonight, too many bombshells being dropped in conversations and leaving his nerves completely frazzled, but things are seemingly too good to be true. _Especially_ after all he’s done tonight, he feels like things ending in his favor is a mistake. “But-- I-- wait.” He can’t find the proper way to respond, becoming more flustered, and his father laughs quietly.

“These last few months have really opened my eyes to your life,” he says wryly, and Genji can’t help it when his blood runs a little cold hearing it. Most of it was all a lie. His father continues. “I visited Tekhartha’s business when you weren’t working to ask about you. They only had high praises for you: that you were a joy to work with and work hard.” Sojiro smiles softly. “Not only that, but you’ve opened up so much to Jesse that I can see how much happier you are around him, even when you don’t think I’m looking. Don’t think I’ve eavesdropped on you talking to him on the phone, but I’ve accidentally heard some of your conversations. He’s a good fit for you, and you deserve that happiness.”

The mention of Jesse makes Genji’s heart break in half all over again. Should he tell his father that he’s been lying to him for all these months right as he’s about to pass away? That he took advantage of his friend and inadvertently ruined their friendship because he was too selfish and cowardly to confront the problem head on? He bites his lip.

“I actually have a confession to make to you.” His father takes a deep breath before squeezing Genji’s hand. “Before you told me about Jesse, when I was considering to have you married off to one of many suitors... I should have never tried to control such an important part of your life. I should not have tried to make that decision for you.” He smiles again. “If I may say it, I think Jesse is more than anything you could possibly need. Had I done what I was advised to do… you never would have told me about him and you probably would have never forgiven me. I'm so deeply sorry.”

The guilt stabs him again. Genji bites down harder.  

“I don’t… I don’t know if it’s going to work out between us,” he says instead of the truth, looking down shamefully at the floor. “I didn’t even know it until it happened, but I hurt him. Hurt him so badly I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”

Sojiro seems a little stunned at the words, but he’s quiet for a moment before he hums. “I’m not going to ask what happened, but I can see you’re hurting about this too. Are you still together or did you two break it off?”

At this point Genji’s head’s swimming in too much guilt and grief to be able to think straight. “I don’t know. We… we had a disagreement over how far we both wanted to take our relationship, but I--” he shakes his head. “I regret what I said to him. I miss him. I want him by my side but I hurt him all the same.” He hangs his head. “Isn’t that awful?”

Another pause, then a sigh. “It is not awful. When you love someone, hurting them is the last thing you’d ever want to do. Knowing you have makes the pain all that worse, and being the source of that pain due to a mistake of your own just adds to it.” Sojiro brings his other hand to rest on top of Genji’s. “But it also shows you how much you love them. If it’s meant to be, then things will work themselves out.”

Love him? Did Genji really _love_ Jesse? He cared about him for sure, wanted nothing more to keep him safe and happy. Jesse’s smile needed protecting, it was worth more than anything -- if he ever had a gloomy day then Genji was right there with him. But... did that mean he  _loved_ him?

It’s like the fog clears from his brain, and everything he’s ever felt he’s played off as normal while in his relationship with Jesse suddenly makes sense. The ease to express his thoughts and to give physical displays of affection, the snap of irritation he felt when Jesse had brought up his relationship with Zenyatta -- it’s eye opening. The reason he felt so safe and comfortable about opening up to him was because he _loved_ and _trusted_ him.

Genji was in love with his best friend and he didn't even realize it. The sudden clarification in his mind has him eager to speak to his friend again, to explain how he was wrong about everything and he had those feelings locked ao far away inside of him that he didn’t even know they were there -- but he stops himself. Did Jesse deserve Genji tearing him down only to change his mind _hours_ later when his wounds were still so fresh?

Did he even _deserve_ to love Jesse? To _be_ loved by him after what he’s done?

He feels new tears well up in his eyes. “I don’t know, Father,” is all he can find it in his heart to whisper. “I messed things up so bad, I don’t even know where to begin in fixing them. I’m not ready to lose you and this is when I need you the most.”

His father hushes him again, reaching up to brush tears away. “Don’t be like that, Sparrow. I believe you are more than capable to take care of yourself by now. I’ll always be with you, no matter what.” He coughs again before lowering his hand and shutting his eyes as he sinks back into the pillows. “I’ll always be with you both, just as your Mother has always been.”

Even though it’s the truth, Genji’s still aching over it. His father means too much to him, he can’t bear being without him. He pulls himself up and lays down next to him, curling into his side like he did when he and Hanzo were children. Sojiro tucks an arm around him.

“Take care of each other,” his murmurs, voice heavy with sleep. “Watch out for one another and keep each other safe. Your mother and I will watch from above. I love you both so much, I am sorry I couldn’t be with you longer.”

Genji falls asleep after wearing himself out with grief, listening to the sound of his father’s steadily weakening heart thrumming beneath him.

His dreams pull him into a strange sense or turmoil that he can’t wake from, the heavy blanket of exhaustion from crying for so long and so hard keeping him from finding a way to rouse himself awake, the worst part being he knows how it’s a dream but he can’t control a damn thing. Phantom faces move past him, their stares accusatory and hurtful all the same.

Jesse stands before him, his eyes sad as he grants Genji a melancholy smile. “You never really cared about me, did you?” he asks, voice gentle yet accusing, and Genji wants to shake his head but he can’t. Jesse sighs, still smiling, and lowers his head. “It’s alright. I understand.”

It’s not alright, Genji wants to say, but his lips are missing from his face. He wants to hold Jesse’s hand, to reach forward and comfort him -- see him smile. Genji can’t stand seeing his friend look the way he does now, and while he knows it’s his fault it looks that way he _can’t_ stop wanting to try and make things right. He just can’t find his hands or his mouth or _anything_ and he just ends up staring back the whole night as Jesse continues to smile right back.

It’s an extremely long night that ends up making him feel more exhausted when he wakes up than when he went to sleep.

When he does finally open his eyes, he’s on a different cot in another room of the hospital and Hanzo is sitting in a chair beside the bed with his head in his hands. It’s still dark outside, but there’s a sliver of gold on the horizon that means morning is coming. Genji doesn’t even need to ask what’s going on before he understands, and it’s like the floodgates in his heart open up once again to swallow him whole in the waters.

“Brother,” he chokes out, and Hanzo lifts his head to peer at him in the bed. He hadn’t been crying, his eyes missing the red-rim around the edges that would have exposed him, but Genji knows his brother well enough to know that just because he wasn’t crying didn’t mean he wasn’t hurting. The grief is apparent in his eyes. Genji reaches a hand out. “Is he--?”

“This morning,” Hanzo says, voice barely above a whisper, like saying it too loud will make Genji shatter. “I moved you so you didn’t have to see him when you woke up.” His eyes retreat to the floor, his mouth pressed in a hard line. “Do not worry, he was at peace.”

So he really did lose two important people in his life in one night. Genji is trembling before he can stop himself, throwing the crook of his arm over his eyes as he tries to steady his breathing. He feels like his chest is ready to collapse on itself.

“What do we do now?” he can’t help but ask thinly, and Hanzo lets out a laugh that sounds too rushed. He’s stressed already and he hasn’t even been head of the family for a few hours -- Genji can’t help but feel a selfish pang of relief he’s not in his brother’s shoes.

“What you do is up to yourself to decide.” Hanzo takes a deep breath, shutting his eyes. “I have to start making arrangements for Father’s funeral and memorial service. There’s still paperwork that needs to be done since Father’s given me the reigns to the whole company, which I assume you’re going to direct towards myself--”

“No.” Genji pulls his arm away from his face and gazes up at the ceiling. Even though the loss of his father is still aching, the disgust he feels with himself for being so selfish is stronger. “I’ll help you with the company. If I have to stop working for Zenyatta, then so be it. I can’t let you take all of it on your own. It’s not fair for me to run away.”

Hanzo’s quiet for a moment before he sighs. “Idiot, I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do. I will be more than fine keeping things running by myself. Your happiness is most important here -- you having to leave behind Tekhartha and McCree--”

If feels like another punch to the gut, another wave of anguish crashing against his ribcage. “I’ve _already_ lost Jesse,” Genji snaps, voice tight. He clenches his sheets. “It’s only fair that I lose the other people important to me as well.” He can feel tears at the back of his throat again, and he tries desperately to keep them down. “It’s what I deserve.”

“You don’t deserve this,” Hanzo sighs, but he doesn’t sound exasperated that he needs to repeat himself like he usually does. Just sad and tired. “Everyone makes mistakes, and some more than others, but no one deserves to lose everything for _one_ of them. If you want to work with me, I only want you as an advisor. Just to keep an eye on everything and someone I can turn to for advice. You will still be able to work for Tekhartha, and I _want_ you to. He’s good for you, he's only ever been a positive influence for you. As for McCree...” he falls uncomfortably quiet for a moment, looking for words. “You are the only one who can repair your relationship. If you still wish to be friends, you have to explain that to him -- he  can’t read your mind, no matter how close to you he is.”

That’s exactly what Genji _doesn’t_ want to do. He’s afraid of how Jesse feels about him now that he knows that Jesse loves him but Genji turned him away. Love was so messy and complicated and Genji is no _good_ at things like this, he never was -- how could he possibly face Jesse now that he’s already broken his heart? “I can’t.” He knows he sounds pathetic. He can’t do anything to change it. “I can’t handle this right now. Not on top of losing Father, I can’t--” he cuts himself off with another uneven breath, and _hates_ how he’s so close to crying again. He feels like that's all he's done.

_God,_ he needs a drink. He needs several. Just enough to keep his mind off the hurricane inside his head that hurts so badly. To numb it. To ignore it. Being blackout drunk is something he wish he were right now -- that way he couldn’t even dream if he tried.

Hanzo reaches over and takes his hand, squeezing it. “We’ll get through this,” he murmurs. “We’re strong enough to get through this. It’s what Father would have wanted.”

Genji knows it is, he just isn’t ready to get through it. His grief over both his Father and Jesse is a massive wall looming over him, and he can’t see the other side. He holds tightly onto his brother’s hand. He doesn’t make him any promises, because he knows he’ll go back on them when his emotions get too heavy again.

It's a weight that he's too weak to hold up himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the bottom of the emotional pit ): as dark as it may seem, things can only go up from here, i promise <3 
> 
> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) || [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, something changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so! ive got some things to talk about but i'm sure all of you would rather see what's going on with the boys rather than hear my ramble a bit, so i'll talk about it all at the end notes instead!!
> 
> for now, however; please just enjoy!

Jesse doesn’t hear anything about Sojiro Shimada’s death until a week after it’s happened -- from his father’s mouth (of all people) while he’s visiting, and the news makes the nerves in his chest bottom out.

“Whaddaya mean obituary?” he asks suddenly, the pen in his fingers coming to a scribbled halt on the list of future wedding guests. He hadn’t heard a single thing from anyone about it, but he doesn’t stay on that track of thought for too long. Of course he hadn’t heard from either of the Shimadas -- he was the one who said he needed time to himself. He hasn’t attempted any form of communication towards them since _that_ night.

He forces himself to stop thinking about it -- there are more pressing matters at hand, anyway.

Gabriel looks up from where he’s pouring coffee into two mugs, eyebrows pinched together. “You haven’t heard? Sojiro passed away in the hospital early last week -- early Friday morning.” He sets the pot back into the coffee maker and shakes his head before coming back to sit across from Jesse at the kitchen table, placing a mug in front of him as he takes a careful sip from his own. “I thought Genji would have told you.”

The words hit the same part of Jesse’s chest that has been aching all week, and he frowns and looks down at his coffee mug without reaching for it. He neglected telling anyone about their breakup, half because he was didn’t think it was that important to be spreading around and the other half because he was still trying to get over it himself. He doesn’t really want to go into it, but he knows Gabriel’s questioning will lead there eventually, so he swallows down his stubbornness and begins.

“About that,” he begins quietly, pulling his coffee mug closer to himself without looking up. “Genji and I. We... we aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

He can feel Gabriel’s surprise without having to see it on his face, but he doesn’t let it linger for too long. He sighs. “Shit, I’m sorry, kiddo. I wish you would’ve told me so I didn’t reopen any fresh wounds.” He pauses for a moment before his words turn careful. “Do… do you want to talk about it?”

Jesse stares hard at his cup of coffee. He so _badly_ wants to talk about it at the same time he doesn’t. He wants reassuring and comfort but he isn’t ready for the disappointment that will come to follow if he tells his father the truth. He clicks the pen in his fingers idly while he decides how he’s going to approach this topic without hurting himself or revealing too much. When he has a good grasp of what he’s going to say, he begins.

“We… had differin’ ideas on how far we wanted to take our relationship.” It wasn’t a lie, but not quite the truth either. A steady middle-ground that Jesse could trust. “I overstepped my bounds, and he wasn’t ready. I thought it’d be better if we didn’t stay together after that; I needed some time to clear my head, and he needed some time to think. I haven’t heard from him since.” He sighs, the weight on his shoulders growing even heavier now that he’s bringing it all back to the front of his memory.

Gabriel reaches a hand out comfortingly, placing it on top of Jesse’s. “Don’t blame yourself that much, Jess. It just seems like the both of you had some issues that you needed to work out.” His eyes flicker down to the silver band now wrapped around his ring finger on his left hand, moved from his dog tags to display now that the news was out. “Communication is the most important foundation in a relationship. It took me too long to figure that out. Jack and I, we…” he trails off for a second before he lets out a shaky breath. “We lost too many years due to poor communication.”

Eyebrows pulling together, Jesse finds himself pressing his mouth into a hard line. “I _was_ honest with him, Pops. We told each other practically everything. He just wasn’t ready to hear the truth, and because of that I scared him off.”

There’s a break in the conversation as Gabriel seems to think to himself before he hums. “If he wasn’t ready for it then, what makes you think he won’t _ever_ be ready for it?

The words feel jagged -- they settle uncomfortably as they fill Jesse’s chest and the stitches he had hastily threaded the break his heart back together with threaten to tear. He panics a little. “He doesn’t love me back, Gabriel,” he snaps a little desperately, wanting to drop the subject. “I told him I loved him and it freaked him out and he didn’t say it back.” He pulls his hand away from his mug to gesticulate, but he ends up just dropping his face into his palms instead with a huge breath. “He didn’t need to say anythin’. I could see how he felt when I said it. He doesn’t love me back.”

God dammit, he was not going to cry about being _dumped_ when he was in his mid-twenties and sitting in front of his father. He should have known what would happen if he told him anyway. Genji had never stayed too long in relationships when they had known each other growing up, and none of them ever lasted longer than a few months. Why did he think it was going to be any different for him?

And it wasn’t even real to begin with you damned, stupid  _idiot._

“Jesse.” Gabriel’s voice is as stern as it is gentle, and Jesse lifts his head to see Gabriel staring right at him, the picturesque image of a figure of authority, but his eyes are calm and comforting. The Gabriel that means business but also wants to protect and care for. “I want you to be honest with me, and I don’t want you to give it any thought.” He pauses a moment to let Jesse prepare himself, folding his arms across his chest. “Do you still love him?”

“Of course I do,” Jesse answers. He sighs as a flush of embarrassment flushes through him at being able to say it so easily, forcing him to look away. “Dammit, Gabriel, of course I do. There’s no way I’ll ever _not_ love him. I was an idiot for ever thinkin’ I could get over him -- he means too much to me.”

Gabriel nods to himself, like he predicted the answer. “Does he still consider you a friend? Or do you feel like you burned that bridge?”

Jesse makes a face as a sickening feeling falls over him. “I... I don’t know.”

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to go back to being just friends at this point?” Gabriel asks next, and once again the words are sharp to the touch even if he doesn’t mean to make them that way. Jesse grits his teeth, his rising stress levels aching for a taste of smoke and nicotine and starting to make him cranky and scrappy, so he shoves away from the kitchen table with his knee, chair legs scraping noisily across the floor.

“I don’t _know_ _,_ Gabriel. And I ain’t about to ask him neither; he’s already got enough on his mind right now.” He shoves his hands in his hands in his pockets when he stands, hunching his shoulders up and heading for the front door. “I’m goin’ out for a smoke.”

“You’re running away again, Jesse.”

Gabriel’s voice makes him stop right in his tracks, heart clenching in his chest like it did when he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have been when he was a child. He has to shake his head and remind himself he wasn’t seven anymore, and he turns on his heel to snark out a reply to find his father looking at him with a cool stare. What comes out of Jesse’s lips is a trembling, “W-What are you talkin’ ‘bout, Dad--”

“You’re running away,” he repeats, this time his voice turning a little gentler, his eyes softening. “I did too once. I thought I messed up something that I felt lucky to have in the first place. When things started changing, I started to fear what could happen if I messed everything up, so I pushed everyone away.” He shakes his head, eyes pulling down to look at the table. “I didn’t realize how I was making everything worse.”

It’s sounding uncomfortably correct, even though the pieces aren’t lining up quite right in Jesse’s mind. He tries playing dumb to avoid letting them. “I don’t know what’cha mean, Pops.”

“Yes, you do. You’re not dumb, Jesse.” Gabriel’s eyes drag up to stare right through him. “When you told Genji that you loved him, you pushed him away. You didn’t want to deal with your heart breaking, so you pushed him away to spare yourself the agony of hearing anything. Didn’t you?” His eyes flash like lightning and Jesse’s mouth grows dry, words refusing to pass from his lips. He was right. Gabriel continues with a sigh, looking down at the table. “I’m not saying Genji’s in the right when he just let you do it, but I don’t know the full story here. I feel like you’re leaving some details out. I won’t pry, as that’s none of my business, but I think you should really consider what you _want_ and what you _need.”_

“What I need?” Jesse echoes, and Gabriel nods.

“And what you want.”

What the hell could Jesse possibly need? He already had everything he really _needed:_ a bed, a job, a family. A... friend? Did Genji still consider him a friend? It’s obvious the question leaves him more confused than ever, because Gabriel chimes in once again.

“Here, I’ll help you out since you seem stumped,” he says, scratching at his chin as he thinks. “I think you _need_ someone to keep you grounded. Someone who will tell it to you straight whether or not your working too hard or not working hard enough. Not so much a voice of reason, because following a plan isn’t always what’s best for you, but someone you can trust to keep you on the road you deserve to stay on.” He meets Jesse’s eyes. “Now, whether that someone is your partner romantically or not is up for _you_ to decide. That brings you to what you want. What can that be?”

It’s not even up for question. Jesse wants Genji. Even if he didn’t love him back, Genji was still his best friend -- first and foremost. His hand starts moving towards his phone before he can stop himself, and he forces himself to stop it before it’s too late. He bites his cheek. “So… I should call him.”

And apologize.

“If that’s what you think you should do,” Gabriel replies offhandedly, already going over the list of guests he had Jesse write down with the cup of coffee at his lips. “Like I said: it’s up to you to decide what you want and need.”

What Jesse _needs_ is a smoke to settle his nerves. He can decide whether or not he’ll call Genji when he’s busy with that and not ready to have a coronary. “I’ll be back,” he mumbles, forcing his hands to pull away from the phone in his pocket and instead relearn the motions to pulling a cigarette to light it when he goes outside.

Gabriel waves a hand and doesn’t bother to watch him go, and Jesse scurries his way to the front door, stopping to grab the items he needs to complete his dirty habit, along with his coat, before stepping out into the frigid December air.

Even though it hasn’t precipitated yet, Jesse can tell that some sort of storm is on it’s way, be it snow or rain or whatever was going to happen if Genji actually answered the phone when Jesse decided to call. He makes a face and busies himself with lighting his cigarette and taking a drag first to settle the anxiety churning in him.

Should he call? Was Genji busy? Would he even _want_ to pick up and talk?

Jesse forces himself to stop thinking about it and just do it, tucking his cigarette between his lips as he retrieves his phone from his pocket and searches through his list of contacts. He hesitates over the green call button for a moment longer before squeezing his eyes shut.

“Fuck it.” He presses the button and brings his cell to his ear, using his now free hand to pull the cigarette out from his lips so he could talk more clearly. He could it with his nice cigars, but cigarettes always crumble too fast if he ever tries, and he doesn’t want to sound like even more of a fool than he probably will if Genji picks up.

Which... unsurprisingly, he doesn’t. The line rings for a few moments before it goes into voicemail, and Jesse almost sighs in relief before he remembers he’ll have to leave a message. He panics for a moment and loses all his trains of thought when the click signalling for him to begin talking is heard.

“Uh. Hey. It’s Jesse.” What is he doing. “I, uh, just wanted to see how you were doin’. It’s, uh, been awhile since I talked with you.” What the actual fuck is he doing? He cringes, and swears under his breath. “No, that’s not what I wanted to say to you at all. Sorry, I can’t think straight right now.” He can’t help but chuckle. “What am I sayin’, I’m never thinkin’ straight.”

The silence on the end of the line is like a death toll. Jesse covers his face with the hand his cigarette is tucked in, holding the phone away from his head so Genji doesn’t pick up his curses directed towards himself, and takes another deep breath before he tries one more time.

“Listen. I just… I just want to apologize. About leavin’ you like that Thursday. It wasn’t fair of me to do that to you -- especially if you had no idea. I’ve been stressed about this for too long and with you askin’ me all that so suddenly I just sorta… exploded. And I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” He takes a drag on his cigarette as a pause. “I wish I hadn’t thrown you out of my car. We could’ve talked like adults but --” he sighs briskly “-- I don’t have any excuse for what I did.”

He chews his cheek for a moment, fighting over a thought, but he shakes his head and decides to throw all his cares to the wind. “I miss you. Not even in a romantic way, I just miss being with you. I miss hearing your voice. And I shouldn’t get so upset if this love of mine ends up bein’ unrequited. I should value our friendship over everythin’ -- after all, that’s what we agreed before startin’ this whole mess, right?” Jesse reaches the end of his cigarette, and figures he’s reached the end of his call as well. He shuts his eyes.“Just… if you don’t hate me, please call me back.”

He presses a button to listen to the whole message again to make sure he hasn’t said anything stupid, and when he’s satisfied with it he pulls his phone away from his ear.

And deletes it.

“Not yet,” Jesse murmurs. “If he wants to talk, he’ll call you. Relax, Jesse. The fact you called at all should be enough.”

He crushes his cigarette butt beneath his boot before picking it up to take inside to throw away, and decides not to tell Gabriel about any of it. Jesse figures Genji’s more wrapped up in arrangements for his father, so the last thing he needs is Jesse’s pathetic attempt at an apology.

It’s fine. Everything was fine.

The drink Jesse’s knows he’ll be having when he gets home that night says differently.

 

 

 

Sojiro Shimada is cremated, his ashes being taken by elders of the family back to Hanamura so he can be buried next to his wife -- the last request in his will. Although the funeral and memorial service is draining for Hanzo, he feels better with his brother at his side to watch his back, even if Genji is a mess of tears the entire evening. The speech that Hanzo makes about his father’s life makes him choke up a little, and Genji holds his hand so tightly, while he himself dissolves into grief, that it hurts.

After the memorial service, time seems to double in speed. Hanzo ends up in a blur of two weeks of work and that all bleed together, and if he weren’t so good at business they’d have all gone to shit. He takes over the company, the transition smoother than he was expecting due to planning everything ahead of time. He likes the change of pace; likes being in charge. Working for their father was simple and uncomplicated, and Hanzo’s workaholic side appreciates the spike in difficulty now that he runs everything. Even if business would be more hectic thanks to the upcoming winter holidays, he finally feels like where he’s meant to be.

His brother, on the other hand, doesn’t share the same sentiment. The evening after their father’s remains are sent off home, he locks himself in his room with enough alcohol to kill an army and doesn’t come out for anything or anyone.

It’s hard. Hanzo knows that his brother has a fragile heart, and that losing their father would have a huge impact on him, but he didn’t think that it’d be bad enough that Genji would cut himself off from _everyone,_ including him _._ He’s only stepped into Genji’s room a few times after their father’s passing, and the amount of empty bottles he found next to his brother’s bed made him sick with worry, but even when Genji was awake, he was never coherent enough to listen to his urging to stop.

The best thing he can do is continue business as usual, and check on his brother before he leaves for work and when he comes home to make sure he’s still alive and not drowned in alcohol poisoning.

Finally, something changes. Hanzo breaks away from a mountain of paperwork he’s brought home with him one Wednesday evening when there’s a soft few knocks on the front door. He frowns. He isn’t expecting anyone to arrive, as most of the mourners and people leaving well wishes for them after their father’s death had stopped coming after the end of the first week, but he stands anyway and rolls his shoulders as he makes his way through the house to the front door. He’s stiff from sitting in place for too long, and he makes sure to pop a few of his vertebrae before opening the door to avoid looking worse for wear.

Who’s on the other side of the door surprises him. A smaller man bundled up in a large amount of thick winter clothing, a face that Hanzo’s only had the pleasure of meeting a few times before, but he still recognizes him immediately from the soft eyes and a pair of thin scars over his lip and right eyebrow.

“Tekhartha?” he asks, and the man gives a soft smile and waves a gloved hand in greeting. Hanzo steps to the side to let him in and out of the cold, shutting the door behind them both. He tries not to sound standoffish when he speaks again. “May I ask what you’re doing here? Has my brother done something?”

There’s a loud thump from the second floor that causes them both to jump a little, eyes jerking to the ceiling. Hanzo’s frown deepens when the realization hits him.

“Nothing wrong. Genji called me,” Tekhartha replies. His smile seems worried, continuing to glance up at the ceiling where the sound came from. “He said needed my company.”

Hanzo frowns and feels a stab of jealousy. Did Genji really prefer to have Tekhartha to help him rather than his own brother? It doesn’t last for long; the logical side of his brain reminding him that if Tekhartha can pull Genji out of his self destructive loop that it would be better for everyone. He nods with a sigh, offering to take the smaller man’s jacket. “Then I appreciate the visit. Genji won’t listen to a word I say.”

Tekhartha shucks his coat, hat, and scarf and hangs them up himself, and he notices Hanzo’s socked feet and removes his boots to leave by the door as well. “I assumed so,” he murmurs gently. “He already told me about your father, so I knew he wouldn’t be in to help with the shop for a while, but I didn’t think he was this bad off.” When he sets his boots down, he raises back up and gives Hanzo a sad smile. “I’m sorry to hear about Sojiro. I’m sure these past few weeks have been hard on you as well.”

Hanzo can’t help but avert his eyes, feeling a bit uncomfortable. He always got this way when people shared their condolences with him. “Thank you. He’s with our mother now and is no longer in any pain, so I’m thankful he’s finally at peace.” He clears his throat when he feels a tightness growing there, gesturing to the stairs. “Let me show you the way to Genji’s room.”

They retreat up the steps and down the hall, and when they reach the door to Genji’s room Hanzo knocks softly.

“Genji?” he asks, trying not to be too loud, but he’s interrupted when the door is thrown open by the very person he’s asking for. Hanzo’s heart plummets when he sees his brother.

He looks awful.

Dark, near-black circles are underneath a pair of bloodshot eyes, red rimmed and puffy from crying. He’s only in a pair of boxers and a half tangled sheet from his bed that he seems to have just ignored rather than getting rid of, a half empty bottle of vodka between his fingers. He looks like he hasn’t showered in days -- maybe even longer -- and his face crumples as soon as he sees Tekhartha standing in front of his door.

“Zen… I -- it's all my fault,” he says, accent heavier than ever since his tongue is thick with alcohol, and he falls into Zenyatta’s arms with a choked sob before he starts to cry again. His voice is barely there, jagged and cracked like he hasn’t spoken clearly in too long, and Hanzo’s heart breaks all over again when he hears it. He had no idea that his little brother was this bad off -- he wishes he had done more to help before it had gotten to this point.

Tekhartha looks like he feels the same way. He exchanges a worried glance with Hanzo before hushing the man in his arms gently. “Hush, my dear. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He glances Hanzo’s way, dropping his voice softer. “May I have your assistance in running a bath for him? He needs it.”

If he can do anything to help with the last piece of his immediate family, he’ll help in a heartbeat. Hanzo nods before making his way into Genji’s room and into his bathroom, clearing away any empty bottles he finds along the way. They’re all from an assortment of liquors, from beer to gin to sake. He notices there aren’t any whiskey bottles to be found and he frowns.

It seemed the loss of their father wasn’t the only thing Genji was grieving.

He turns the hot water on before the cold and searches around his brother’s cabinets to find some of his essential oils, pulling out the lavender and putting the stopper in the drain before squeezing a few drops into the collecting bathwater. He adjusts the temperature as Tekhartha leads Genji in, the sheet missing from around his shoulders and head facing the floor. He isn’t crying anymore, but he looks like he’s moments away from starting again as Tekhartha murmurs things to him that are too quiet for Hanzo to hear.

They both help him get undressed from his boxers, and when the tub is filled Tekhartha helps him over to the water and Genji steps in, sinking down into the warm bathwater up to his neck. Hanzo feels like he’s intruding, so he decides to get his brother a towel and some fresh clothes, along with some fresh sheets to help tidy up his room.

When he actually gets a look at how destroyed Genji’s room is, he needs a moment to figure out what to tackle first. Bottles and takeout wrappers litter the floor alongside dirty clothes, the air stale and musty. Hanzo takes a deep breath before going to open the window first. It may be cold outside, but the room really needs to be aired out. He starts with the bottles and plastic containers, setting them aside to be recycled, and calls housekeeping to collect them and bring some clean sheets.

When he finds Genji’s cellphone buried under a mountain of blankets and clothing, he actually take the time to check it in case Genji’s missed something. He knows he shouldn’t be snooping, but the temptation is too much. He presses the power button but nothing happens, a low battery signal flashing across the black screen before shutting off completely, and Hanzo is hit with instantaneous confusion.

If he had called Tekhartha, how was his phone so dead and at the bottom of a heap of clothes across his room? He isn’t left wondering too long, because after plugging the device into an outlet at Genji’s desk, he starts stripping his brother’s bed of the dirty linens and one of the landline phones tumbles from the sheets and across the carpet. He sighs. He was wondering where that one had gone.

After replacing it on it’s base in the study where it belonged, he returns to the room and continues his work. It’s bizarre for him to be cleaning so late in the year -- they all do spring cleaning together, but that’s when it gets warm again. It feels awkward and he doesn’t like the way it gets cold too fast with the frigid December breeze rolling in, but he keeps at it for Genji’s sake. In order for him to start battling his depressions, he needed a clean room so he didn’t soak in any more negativity.

Hanzo knows from his own experience after all.

He keeps the bathroom door cracked in case Tekhartha needs anything, steam rising from the small opening, and while he works he can hear his quiet murmuring and his brother’s sniffles in response. He tries to ignore it.

It takes a little over a half an hour, but by the time housekeeping leaves with their last bag of garbage and recyclables and Hanzo hears the water being drained from the tub, he steps back from Genji’s freshly made bed and newly cleaned room. It already feels better to be in, so much less stuffy and sick, and he shuts the window when he feels the room is aired out enough and draws the blinds closed so there isn’t too much light coming in.

Hanzo glances back at Genji’s phone, and decides he should at least turn it on for his brother so he has one less thing to worry about. He steps lightly and picks up the device, pressing the power button before stepping away to check in again with Tekhartha.

Almost at once, Genji’s phone starts chirping with a dozen different text tones and alerts when it finally finishes it’s startup and Hanzo freezes in place to look over his shoulder. He bites the inside of his cheek before returning to the desk, deciding to scroll through the notifications without unlocking it, and a soon as the screen lights up he begins to grimace.

They're all worried messages wondering where Genji was, probably over a dozen from Angela alone, but McCree's name keeps popping up over and over across the whole feed and Hanzo has to wonder _how long did his brother keep his phone dead?_ Missed calls fromand voicemail messages, Snapchat notifications from a number of people Hanzo can’t recognize, Instagram messages asking what was wrong -- it’s amazing and terrible all at once.

He can understand their concern though. Genji was always a social butterfly, and having him drop off the digital radar was strange at best. He finally puts down the phone when it gets to be too much, deciding to forgo telling Genji about it. If his brother was really that broken up over both McCree and their father, telling him that the same person he’s obviously been trying to drown his memories of has been wondering where he’s been... it seems like the last thing he should do.

“Hanzo?” Tekhartha’s voice calls from the bathroom. “May I have some help again?”

“Of course,” he answers, muting his brother’s phone before retreating towards the bathroom. His brother is sitting on a stool and staring at the floor, wrapped tightly in a fluffy towel as water droplets roll down off his hair. Tekhartha is holding the clean pajamas Hanzo had given him before.

“Can you help me get him to bed?” the younger man asks politely, smiling. “He doesn’t seem to want to move. I think his hangover’s starting to settle in.”

Hanzo nods before turning to his younger brother, crouching in front of him. “Come on; up with me. I won’t treat you like a baby like you want. If you want to get into bed, you’re going to have to help me. I’ll get you some aspirin after.” Genji’s eyes lift off the floor and there’s the faint glint of irritation in his eyes, but he still nods and attempts to stand on shaky legs. Hanzo loops an arm around his waist so he doesn’t fall. “That’s it, little brother. Easy; I won’t drop you.”

They make their way out of the bathroom and back to the bed in the main part of the bedroom, and Hanzo helps him sit down before pulling away and retrieving the bottle of aspirin he had housekeeping bring with the clean sheets. “How many do you need?” he asks, looking over his shoulder for an answer. Genji squeezes his eyes shut, a hand raising to his head.

“Four,” he croaks as Tekhartha takes a seat next to him. When he’s offered the new shirt he shakes his head. “No. Just pants.”

Shaking four pills from the bottle, Hanzo waits until he hears Genji get done with putting his pants on before he takes a glass of water and hands each of them to his brother. Genji takes the pills carefully, his hands shaking, but he manages to get them down without too much trouble before handing the glass back. He puts his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he says next. His voice is still coarse. “I don’t deserve your kindness.”

Tekhartha frowns, his eyebrows crinkling together, but he looks to Hanzo for help. Hanzo bites his cheek and takes a seat on Genji’s other side. “How long are you going to play the victim here, little brother?” he asks, and Genji flinches. Hanzo continues, this time a little more gently. “I know you feel like you’ve done wrong, but drinking yourself to death is not the answer.”

“Grief is a natural we all must go through someday,” Tekhartha picks up, reaching for one of Genji’s hands and holding it tightly. “The thing we must learn is to not let it consume us. Your father wouldn’t have wanted that.”

Genji shakes his head, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. “It’s not just Father i’m upset about. Jesse…” He bites down hard enough the skin of his lip around his teeth turns white. “I broke Jesse’s heart. He’s too nice to tell me he doesn’t want to be friends anymore, but I know that’s what he wants.” His shoulders hunch up, eyes turning watery. “That’s what I would have wanted if my friend did that to me.”

“I’m sure that’s not the case, dear.” Despite his soothing tone, Tekhartha looks confused about Genji’s mention of McCree. He glances Hanzo’s way like he can solve this problem better than he could, and Hanzo frowns more deeply.

“I would have expected you to be over dumping someone by now,” he says, trying not to sound accusatory even if it was true. Even if they were friends before all this, Genji never had a problem with being the dumpee when his relationships turned sour. “Why is this bothering you so much, little brother?”

The reason is obvious to Hanzo, but he isn’t sure if Genji really understands why. Genji shakes his head, biting his lip so hard Hanzo’s worried he’ll bite right through. “He isn’t like everyone else. I messed up so bad -- I told him I didn’t feel anything like that for him and I believed it. I’m such a fucking fool.” Genji leans into Tekhartha’s side as his shoulders start to shake again. Tekhartha wraps the arm that’s not clutching Genji’s hand around his waist to pull him closer, but he doesn’t seem to understand.

“What are you talking about, Genji?” he asks. Genji doesn’t answer and Hanzo decides to step in and explain.

“Their whole relationship was faked,” he reveals, and Tekhartha’s eyes widen a fraction before he frowns, his expression urging for more of an explanation. Hanzo sighs and retreats his gaze to the floor. “The elders of our family thought that a spouse would reign in Genji's, in their eyes, _less desirable_ traits. His habit of sneaking out to parties and sleeping around. So they convinced my father to arrange a partner for him.” He folds his hands together in his lap. “When Genji found out about it, he panicked and asked McCree to pretend to date him long enough to avoid it. While my brother didn’t think of the relationship as anything, McCree ended up falling for him. He told him the night our father passed.”

“I lost them both,” Genji repeats; a tiny, trembling sound escaping his lips. He sobs a little. “It wasn’t until he was gone that I realized I do love him. I love him so much it _hurts_ and and I can’t do anything about it because I broke his heart. He doesn’t want anything to do with me now. He couldn’t.”

Tekhartha mulls over the information for a few moments before he shuts his eyes to take a deep breath, letting out a long exhale. He leans into Genji’s side.

“I don’t think that he’s really as lost to you as you think he is,” he murmurs. “Have you talked to him since that night?” Genji shakes his head and Tekhartha hums. “Have you told him how you really feel about him?” Another shake of the head. “Then how can you be so sure?”

Genji struggles to find words, obviously unprepared for the question. “I-- I don’t--” He bites his lip again. “Why would he want me? The person who treated his feelings like they were nothing….” He hiccups, burying his face deeper into Tekhartha’s shoulder. “I don’t deserve to have my feelings returned with the way I’ve treated his.”

“Why do you keep saying that, my dear?” Tekhartha asks, pulling himself up and getting Genji to look at him with a hand on his cheek. “You deserve to be happy just like everyone else. You may have made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean you have to have your happiness taken away. If that were true, then no one in this world would be allowed to be happy.”

Genji shakes his head, focusing his gaze at the floor in shame. “But I feel like I’ve made so many more mistakes than anyone else. Besides, how could I even face him after what I’ve done? I don’t know what I’d say.”

Hanzo finally finds a way into the conversation, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder to bring his attention back to him. “The only thing you can do is apologize and try to set things right. He’s been honest with you about his feelings, the least you can do is be honest about yours.” He grants a tired smile. “I know it’ll be hard, and I know you feel so guilty about hurting him, but you need to do it for him _and_ yourself.”

Genji looks at him for a moment before he looks back to Tekhartha, then back to the ground. He seems to have gotten his sniffling under control now, and he looks more clear headed than Hanzo’s seen him in a while. Still, there’s an edge of resistance in his eyes that doesn’t want to be shaken off. “Are you sure I should talk to him?” he questions, voice barely above a whisper.

“You can’t hide from him forever,” Tekhartha chimes, looking relieved that Genji is no longer repeating words of his self-loathing and he’s starting to listen to reason. He smiles wryly, a glimmer in his eyes. “Besides, you don’t really seem the type to be a shut in. You’d get bored too easily -- also, Mondatta would have to fire you from the shop, and you know how he’d hate to see you go. He loves you just as much as I do.” He pauses. “Okay, maybe not as much as I do, but it comes pretty close.”

Genji seems to think over everything before he squeezes his eyes shut and takes a long breath in, holds it for a few moments, and lets it out. His eyes re-open. “If you both think that’s what I should do, then maybe it’s for the best.” He smiles, but it doesn’t look very cheerful. In fact, Hanzo could even say it looks morbid. “Besides, how much more could Jesse hate me?”

Hanzo can’t help but roll his eyes in irritation. “For the last time, he doesn’t hate you,” he snaps. Still, an idea pops up in his mind -- one that he wouldn’t normally do, to be honest, but he feels like the situation may call for it. “If you wish, Genji, I could text and ask him how he’s been doing. That way you’d have a more...” he struggles to find the proper word in English “... a stronger idea of what you’re going up against.”

Surprisingly, his brother shakes his head. “No, I need to do this by myself. I… I can’t have other people do things for me when it comes to problems I’ve caused.” He raises a hand to his temple and winces. “Just… just not today. This hangover might kill me first.”

Hanzo huffs, folding his arms over his chest. “I’m surprised all the alcohol you’ve had over the past two weeks hadn’t killed you yet. Your hangover won’t do the job if you’ve survived this long.” Despite his haughty tone, he’s feeling much better now that he knows his brother is no longer drowning his sorrows away.

Genji can’t help but let out a small, wheezy laugh. It’s not much of one, but it’s still better than nothing. “I have a high alcohol tolerance, brother. You should know that.”

“If the bottles in the bathroom were anything to judge by, I would say you might need Miss Zeigler to check your liver for any problems,” Tekhartha says, tone snarky as he smiles. Hanzo’s surprised at the jovialness to it -- he’s only ever pictured the man to be quiet and polite. He can’t help but find how much he appreciates the new side he’s seeing -- he finally starts to understand why Genji latched onto him so quickly.

He hopes his gratitude for being able to pull Genji back up can radiate to where Tekhartha is sitting, because he’d rather not talk about it while his brother is still in the room. Without him, he isn’t sure if he’d have ever been able to help his brother by himself.

From the way Zenyatta smiles at him when Genji starts to reply back, he can tell his thanks isn’t needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you might have noticed, i finally have a set number of chapters this is going to be!! the next one will be the resolution, and then the last will be an epilogue -- and ANOTHER good thing for you guys is that i put up a twitter poll yesterday to ask whether or not i should move the update schedule back to once a week (since i had finished the rough draft of this whole fic) and a solid 2/3's of you wanted faster updates SO! updates will be once a week again until this whole fic wraps up, hooray!! lmao
> 
> anyway, thank you for all your continued support, you always blow me away with your comments and kudos <3 i'll see you all in a week! 
> 
> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) || [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can do this,” he murmurs.
> 
> He can do this.
> 
> He pushes the door open and starts his journey.

When Genji finally decides to pull his sorry ass out from his bed to go talk to Jesse, he makes sure it’s a day that he knows his friend will be home so he isn’t just randomly appearing at an empty apartment. It’s a Tuesday afternoon, a week and a half before Christmas, and even though the weather outside is looking rather frightful, Genji needs to get all this weight off his chest and talk to Jesse before he chickens out and their whole relationship ends up falling apart as a result.

He spends far too long getting himself ready, trying to find the right thing to wear that makes him look like he didn’t try too hard in picking it out while also looking nice. He isn’t quite sure if he’s trying to impress Jesse or not, already knowing that Jesse has (had?) feelings for him, but he isn’t sure how to woo a person who already likes him. (And not the _Fake_ him he liked to parade around parties as, but the _Real_ him.) Genji is feeling jittery and light, his stomach twisting due to his nerves as he grabs his eyeliner pen and hopes his hands don’t shake too much while he draws the sharp lines on.

While he’s going to Jesse’s apartment to see him, Genji hasn’t called to tell him. He almost bit straight through his lip trying to get himself to send the message, but he just couldn’t do it. It’s hilarious and a little sad to think that a few months ago he had considered himself a great flirt, but to tell the truth he had no idea how to pull this off without appearing like a tool. Sincerity is not his strong suit when romance is involved; before it’s always just been about getting what Genji wanted out of the person he was flirting with. Money, sex, free drinks -- anything.

Now he just wants to tell Jesse about his own feelings and go back to the way things used to be. The two of them getting together and being friends without any fake relationship hanging over their heads, just them having a good time purely because they wanted to. And if Jesse still felt anything for Genji after this messy period of time where they haven't spoken, it would be even better.

Genji’s been dreaming about kissing those lips again just because he wants to, and not because he has to.

Unfortunately, an unwelcome thought keeps picking at his brain while he’s getting himself ready: what if Jesse had already moved on? What if he realized what an absolutely horrible person Genji really was and decided he didn’t need him in his life? He has to force himself to stop chewing on his lip when he notices how raw it looks from dwelling over the thought. What was he going to do if that were the case? Genji puts down his eyeliner pen and stares himself down.

“If he doesn’t love you anymore, that just means you were too late,” he says to his reflection. He looks like he’s on the edge of desperation. Short black hair spilling across his forehead instead of being pushed back with product, parted off to the side. Red, raw lips that he hopes will fade to the normal pink since he’s stopped biting them. He breathes in deeply, watches his shoulders rise and fall. “There won’t be anything you could do. You’d just have to get over him and move on, just like he did.”

A pair of brown eyes stare back, unblinking and hard. If that was the case, Genji might just end up staring down the neck of another bottle of sake -- and at that thought he can hear his father at the back of his mind, chiding him for being so negative. Genji forces himself to shake his head, stepping away from his vanity.

“Breathe, Sparrow.” He repeats what he hears his father say. “It will all work itself out.”

If Jesse didn’t love him anymore, than at least Genji could start working to repair their friendship. That should be his main goal anyway. If the two of them stayed friends, that would have to be enough for him, selfishness be damned. Genji’s already ruined enough things due to his self-absorbed attitude, and he couldn’t bear to lose Jesse a second time just because he couldn’t accept the situation that he loved someone who didn’t love him back.

If Jesse was prepared to live with his unrequited love if Genji hadn’t forced it out of him, Genji can and _should_ learn to do the same.

Genji takes another deep breath and decides he’s as ready as he’ll ever be, pocketing his phone, keys, and wallet before crossing the room to stand at the door to leave his bedroom. His hand hovers over the handle and lets out the air he’s holding in his lungs.

“You can do this,” he murmurs.

He can do this.

He pushes the door open and starts his journey.

Although he’s stepping out of his house a little earlier than he needs to be, his schedule is to catch the bus to get to the stop closest to Jesse’s apartment before the snow and sleet that’s supposed to start begins to fall. It’s a bit of a walk, five or so minutes on foot, but Genji could use the fresh air after being cooped up in his room for two weeks. Despite the freezing temperature, he actually enjoys being outdoors again. The air _tastes_ clean -- he didn't know that was even possible.

Unfortunately, the rain seems to start right as he’s coming up at the stop and he has to hurry underneath the bus shelter before he gets too wet and the cold starts to seep into his bones. He curses himself for thinking he didn’t need an umbrella, and wraps his arms around himself as he stands to wait. The bus of course, isn’t on time either, and snow is starting to mix in with the already freezing precipitation to make slush on the sidewalks. Genji grimaces.

If this was how the rest of his day was going to go, he’s doomed to live a life of pining.

His phone pings in his pocket and he pulls his gloved hands and the device out of them to see what the notification is from. A text from his brother, short enough he can read it on the lock screen without having to open it.

_Bring your cowboy back._

Genji takes another deep breath, knowing that Hanzo’s got his back in this situation helping to calm his nerves a little. He’s missed this feeling, knowing Hanzo will stand by him no matter what -- it even makes him feel a little warmer on the inside. Despite the sentimentality, he decides to shove his phone back into his pocket and wait to reply until his mission is over; although whether it will be a failure or a success remains to be seen.

The bus finally rolls up and he scurries out from under the shelter to get on the bus, but even the short distance leaves him more damp than he would like. He flashes his pass and retreats to the back of the nearly empty transport before settling into a corner, and he begins to wait for his stop to appear.

In the meantime, he takes off his scarf to dry a little. He regrets the coat he had snatched blindly from the coat closet before he left -- there’s no hood so his head is exposed to the winter weather, his hair already wet. He’s still got a walk to get to Jesse’s apartment, so it’ll only get even more soaked on the way there. He’s glad he didn’t put any product in his hair today, it would have been ruined before he got to see him.

It’s a slow bus ride that takes longer than Genji’s anticipating. The weather is slowing everything down -- maybe he should have waited a day or two? He shakes his head when he thinks it. No, he needs to get this done. He misses Jesse too much, his heart aching at the thought that he knows he had to do something in order for them to remain friends. Weather be damned, he was going to get to Jesse McCree’s apartment and do what he should have done weeks ago.

He bundles himself back up when he sees he’s finally arriving at his stop, tugging the rope to signal he was getting off, and his spirits fall when it appears that the rain and sleet has only gotten worse at this point. The bus driver, a nice woman in her late fifties whom he regularly sees getting too and from work, frowns at him in concern when she sees him ill prepared for the storm outside.

“Be careful out there, honey,” she warns. “It’s only supposed to get worse as the night goes on. The buses aren’t going to run much later since all this is supposed to freeze over, so make sure you have a ride home if you aren't coming back here.”

Genji nods. “I will, thank you.” If things go according to plan, maybe Jesse will let him stay the night. If not, then he’ll be kicked out in no time flat and he’ll just catch her on the next cycle back. He doesn’t tell her any of this though, and steps back out into the winter weather.

He hurries. It’s getting hard to see as the wind starts to blow the rain and sleet back into his face, biting at his cheeks and nose. He can’t help but curse himself as he continues on foot. He needs to get his license so he won’t have to worry about things like this happening in the future -- his face is going numb and the rain is starting to soak through his coat and scarf and into his shoes.

Luckily enough for him the bus stop is closer to Jesse’s apartment that his own back at home, and he starts a full out sprint when he finally sees it and clamors up the steps that lead to Jesse’s front door. Still, he hesitates when he raises a hand to knock for only a moment before rapping as hard as his frozen joints will allow him to.

A few seconds go by. Genji counts them and his heart-rate starts to rise as they pass.

The door handle jiggles before it opens. His heart nearly stops.

Jesse is standing in front of him. He’s looking stunned at Genji’s sudden appearance at his door, a question on his lips, but it dies immediately and his face shifts through several different shades of horror at the state he’s in.

At least he’s worried; that’s a good sign. Genji tries to say something but his teeth are chattering too much for him to get out a sound, and Jesse swoops at him like a hawk.

“What the _fuck_ are you doin’ out there dressed like that?!” he demands, pulling Genji inside by the scruff and slamming the door shut.

The warmth of apartment is almost _too_ hot for Genji’s freezing, achy fingers. He tries to bend them and bites his lip in pain -- he hadn’t realized how bad off they were until he had gotten inside. Jesse continues to fuss over him in, taking his scarf and coat off before peeling off his gloves. If Genji’s senses weren’t so numbed by the cold, he’d probably make a joke about how Jesse’s never taken off his clothes this fast before, but he just keeps shivering.

“You damn idiot,” Jesse mutters under his breath, holding Genji’s trembling hands in his own for a moment before pulling away and guiding him to sit down on the couch in the living room. He snatches a blanket off one of the recliners in the corner and wraps it around Genji’s shoulders before pulling back. “Sit there and don’t you _dare_ move.” His tone shows he’s not fucking around, angry enough that Genji doesn’t want to push him, so he just nods and Jesse walks off while he continues to complain under his breath.

Genji’s left there in silence for a moment, shivering under the blanket on the couch, and he finally thinks long enough to realize he’s still wearing his boots. He sees the trail of slush he tracked into the livingroom and grimaces, so he does his best to unlace them and take them off so he won’t cause any more of a mess. Besides, he can try to warm up his toes while he’s at it. It's harder than he expects due to his numb fingers.

Jesse returns toting a space heater to see him struggling and sighs.

“Hold on, let me help you with that,” he says, but Genji shakes his head, determined to do it on his own so he didn’t feel so coddled. He’s had enough of that. Jesse purses his lips but doesn’t seem to want to argue with him, so he shrugs and goes about plugging in the space heater before setting it up in front of Genji so it’s directing warm air at him and leaving again.

He comes back with some more blankets just as Genji’s pulling off his second boot, and he goes about layering them over Genji’s shoulders to get his shivering under control before stepping back and taking a seat in the recliner. Genji can’t help but feel he’s too far away where he is, tucking the blankets around him more tightly. He wants to ask Jesse to come closer so they can sit side by side, but he isn’t sure his friend would appreciate it if he started his apology and confession off with that.

Jesse rubs at his eyes as he lets out a long and annoyed sigh, hunched over in the seat. “You scared the livin’ hell outta me. You shouldn't be walkin’ around in shit like this, it’ll kill you faster than you think.” He runs a hand through his hair with a shake of his head before he looks up and fixes Genji with a look that screams exhausted. “What are you even doing here, Genji?”

Words seem to fail him in his most desperate hour, Jesse’s brown eyes staring a hole through his head. Genji has to avert his eyes and stare at the floor when guilt bubbles up in his chest.

“I… I needed to see you. I needed to talk to you,” he finally says, his voice small.

“If you needed to talk so bad, you should’ve just called.”

He sounds angry. Genji flinches at Jesse’s tone, but he still shakes his head. “No. I needed to say this to you in person.” He swallows before he raises his head to meet Jesse’s gaze once again. His voice is shaking and he’s not sure if it’s because of the cold still trapped in his chest or not. “All I ask is that you wait until I’m finished before you say anything. Then you can say or do whatever you want to me. Can you promise me that?”

Jesse’s brow furrows. “What are you talking about, Genji--”

“Promise me.” Genji forces himself to harden his tone even though he feels like he’s melting into a puddle under the fierce look Jesse’s giving him. “Please, Jesse.”

He stares a moment longer, waiting for some part of Genji to crack under the pressure, but when he receives none he sighs again, nodding. “Alright. What did you wanna talk about?”

Genji fights the urge to bite his lip to hold the words in, his cowardice trying to hold him back. No. He needed to say this, that’s the whole reason he came here in the first place after all. The whole reason he nearly froze himself to death was to apologize; to make things right between them.

He takes a deep breath, and starts.

“It’s... selfish of me to come here like this, especially after what I said to you before. I was horrible to you. I messed up so _badly,_ Jesse. I left you hurting when I should have stayed there to comfort you.” He can feel tears at the back of his throat and he’s trying his best to keep them down so he can get through what he’s planned to say without breaking down. He's had enough of crying. “I should have _never_ asked you to start this whole mess of a fake relationship. It’s only caused you pain and I hate it when you're hurting. I'm so sorry.”

Jesse looks like he wants to say something, eyebrows pinched together and looking Genji’s way worriedly, but he respectfully holds his tongue and waits for Genji to say everything on his mind. Genji keeps going anyway, his brain on a one-track mind now that he’s started.

“And it’s -- it’s so selfish of me to come to you now, expecting forgiveness when I don’t deserve it. I took advantage of you. I took advantage of our friendship to run away from my problems and I didn’t consider your feelings at all. I was only thinking of myself.” The tears are fighting him now, collecting in the corners of his eyes and he tries to blink them away. “And it’s so fucking _selfish_ of me to hope you’d still feel anything for me after what I’ve done to you. I’m such a fool.” He sucks in a breath and looks up at Jesse as fat tears start to roll down his cheeks. The last, burning statement almost sticks in his throat and he’s so afraid to say it, but Jesse’s concerned expression gives him that last little push he needs.

“I was so stupid to think I didn’t feel anything for you, because I do. I love you. I love you so, _fucking_ much and I was too stupid to see it when you were right in front of my face.” Jesse’s eyes widen, his mouth opening like he’s going to reply, but Genji doesn't let him. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t see it until you were missing from my life. If you want me to leave, I will. I'll leave you alone -- forever if you want. I just needed to tell you. It was just... killing me keeping it in. I'm sorry.”

Jesse’s mouth still hangs open like he wants to say something but no sound comes out, and he remains that way. No sound, not moving, he just... stares. Genji, having just poured his heart out, is too upset to be able to think clearly. His emotions are running all over the place and he can’t decipher the expression that Jesse’s giving him if there's any feelings underneath of it -- can’t decide if it’s shock or disgust or guilt. As the seconds tick by with Jesse saying absolutely nothing, Genji’s patience starts to crumple and he can feel the sobs he’s holding back start to rattle his chest.

“ _Please_ say something to me,” he begs, desperate, his voice breaking on the last syllable as he sucks in an uneven breath, and that’s what snaps Jesse out of whatever verbal limbo he’s trapped in. He takes a breath, eyes refocusing as he blinks, and when he still can’t speak he covers his mouth with a hand and averts his eyes.

“I can’t believe this,” he breathes after a minute. Jesse looks up from the ground, and with his mouth covered it’s even harder to decipher how he’s feeling. “You’re serious.”

Genji just nods. His throat is far too tight for him to say anything else, and the longer Jesse goes without an answer the more pieces his heart starts to break into.

Then Jesse makes a sound.

He laughs.

No, maybe it’s more of a sob? It’s hard to tell; Genji is still too much of a mess himself to be able to tell emotions apart. Jesse is smiling but he’s crying a little too at the same time, and Genji is bewildered by it. However, before he can say anything Jesse smiles at him with such relief in his eyes all his words melt away.

“You love me back. You actually love me back, I can’t believe this.” He laughs again and _collapses_ into the back of the recliner, the hand over his mouth raising to cover his eyes. The words are still slow to process in Genji’s mind, but when they click he still tries not to be too hopeful when he asks.

“Back? But I--”

Jesse gives him a half-hearted glare that’s hard to take seriously with the beaming smile he’s got on his face. “Sweetheart, do you honestly think I could get over you -- a boy I’ve loved for years -- in a few _weeks?”_ He bursts into laughter and shakes his head. “Of course I couldn’t.”

So that meant that Jesse still loves him. His brain nearly short circuits. He still loves him! Jesse McCree still loves him--! He feels as if he could float, the floor nearly falling away at his feet, but there’s something tethering him to the ground. His heart should be soaring high above him, but there are worries and fears that are keeping it firmly chained down in his chest. He sputters. “But-- after everything I’ve done--”

“Without any of that nonsense, I never would’ve found you,” Jesse says softly, looking at him in a way that makes Genji feel the hold on his heart _snap_ and he’s flying. “I’d have never realized that I loved you.”

Genji tries to hold back a relieved sob by slapping a hand over his mouth, smothering them down as he curls into himself under the mountain of blankets he’s buried under. “I’m sorry,” is all he can say, repeating it over and over. All his fears were for nothing, all his grief and tears over the thought of losing so much; of _course_ Jesse would still love him. He feels horrible he’d ever think that Jesse would ever leave him at the same time he's relieved he's still loved-- they clash and it’s like his chest is collapsing. Jesse shushes him softly, moving from the recliner to the couch to sit beside him, pulling him into his arms.

“Now what on Earth are you apologizin’ for, baby? It’s okay,” he murmurs. “I’ve already forgiven ya for everythin’. I forgave you as soon as I got home that night. I don’t regret a single thing over these past few months -- after all, they lead me right to you.” He laughs a little breathlessly, and Genji can feel him trembling. “To be honest, I really thought you hated me after then. I tried callin’ you a few times after the first week but your phone went straight to voicemail so I thought you blocked my number or somethin’.”

“That’s what I thought, but you about me,” Genji says quietly against Jesse’s chest, trying to get his breathing under control. “I didn’t think you would want to be friends with someone who turned you down like that. Especially after saying how much they wanted to stay with you.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “It was… so foolish for me to think that.”

“I could never hate you, sweetheart.” Jesse’s voice is as firm as it is gentle. “I can’t imagine a time in my life where I wouldn’t want you by my side.”

It’s enough to quell Genji’s fears, and he lets out a shuddering breath as he pulls himself closer to Jesse’s warm frame. The sense of security that falls over him drains away the rest of his anxious alertness, and he feels like he could fall asleep here in Jesse’s arms. He presses his cheek against Jesse’s collarbone, lazily reaching over to tangle their fingers together.

“I missed you,” he says. He means it. He closes his eyes. “I missed this.”

Jesse hums, lounging against the back of the couch as the hand around Genji’s waist traces its fingers lightly around his hip. He sounds just as tired as Genji feels -- he must have been just as sick with worry about this too. “I missed you too, sunshine. I was lonely around here without you constantly checkin’ up on me.” He leans over and presses a kiss to the top of Genji’s head. “Please don’t leave me like that ever again.”

The feeling of Jesse’s lips on his hair reminds him. Genji pulls himself up to peer at him. “As long as I get to make a request from you as well.”

Jesse raises an eyebrow, curiosity glimmering in his eyes. “Oh? And what might that be, dare I ask?”

“Kiss me.”

His lips quirk up into a cocky smile, like Jesse knew what the demand was before Genji even asked, but he still looks soft. He raises a hand to pull across Genji’s cheek, chuckling under his breath as he looks on Genji with such adoration its nearly suffocating. Or maybe Genji’s breath is just getting caught in his throat because he’s seen this look before, and now that he knows what it really means and that it’s directed towards _him_ makes him feel like he’s drowning.

“Anything for you,” Jesse murmurs with a soft smile.

And then he’s kissing him.

It’s like the world stops around them. Genji had expected it to feel like any of the other kisses they had given each other before, but this… this is _anything_ but that. He’s aware of his heart thrumming in his chest at a million miles an hour, Jesse’s chapped but warm lips moving against his own. It’s like the kiss Jesse gave him on Thanksgiving but infinitely better. His body feels so hot he feels like he’ll melt, that he’s Icarus and Jesse’s the Sun but he’s safely keeping Genji from crashing back down to Earth. It’s not even a heat from arousal that Genji is so familiar with.

No, this heat was something different.

When Jesse pulls away, Genji opens his eyes to look at him. Jesse’s brown skin is tinged with red, the splatter of freckles across the bridge of his nose so close Genji could count them with kisses. He looks absolutely elated, maybe with a tinge of nervousness, but there isn’t a single negative emotion that Genji can see in the depths of his eyes. He can’t help it when his voice crawls up his throat and out his mouth.

“I love you.”

Jesse’s eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles. “I love you too.”

Just saying it makes his Genji’s heart skip a beat. He leans forward to wrap his arms around Jesse’s neck, burying his face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so warm. Not because of the heat, but...” He takes a deep breath, taking in the scent of Jesse’s cologne and stale cigarette smoke. “I’m just warm.”

“That’s love, sugarplum.” Jesse wraps his arms around his waist and presses his forehead into Genji’s shoulder. “That’s love.”

He knows it is. Genji thinks a moment before a question pops in his mind, and now that the two of them have settled their dispute, he can ask it without need for worry. Still, as a precaution, he preludes it with a murmured, “Can I ask you something?” He waits for Jesse to hum before he continues. “When did you know for sure that you loved me? Even if you didn’t recognize it as what what it actually was. Was there… a moment?”

Jesse raises his head to look at the ceiling. “That’s a toughie, darlin’. I never really realized that what I was feeling for you was _love_ until Halloween. It had to have been before that though.” His eyebrows raise, something dawning on his face and Genji’s curiosity nearly kills him as he waits for an answer. “Yeah. It was. A long time ago.”

“How long?” Genji can’t help but ask, and Jesse pulls a hand away from Genji’s hip to touch the back of his neck. The tips of his ears flush a pretty shade of rouge.

“It’s embarrassin’, but if you wanna know that bad…” he lets out a nervous breath. “Remember back by junior year, how I was runnin’ around with the Deadlock boys and just… generally bein’ a nasty little shit since it was so messed up back at home?” Genji nods, not really sure where he was going with this story, but eager for him to continue. Jesse bites his lip for a moment. “Do... you remember the night I got the shit kicked out of me and they left me behind the gas station near your place?” Genji’s heart skips a little, remembering that night very well, and nods again, this time a little slower. He doesn’t like thinking about that night.

Jesse sees his concern and cracks a smile. “Sorry for bringin’ up some bad memories, but that night was the night I think I fell for you.” He looks away, a fond smile on his face as he continues. “I can’t really remember too much of what happened that night, but I remember you takin’ me home with you and you sittin’ next to the bed your Pa put me into and just… talkin’ with me. You held my hand and tried to keep me from fallin’ asleep since you thought I might'a had a concussion.” He laughs a little. “You even called Gabriel to come over even though I wasn’t allowed to see him, because you knew I needed him then.”

Genji blinks, his heart trembling. “That long?”

Jesse’s smile falters a little, embarrassment flushing his face a deeper red. “I told you it was embarrassin’ -- and I didn’t know it at the time either! I just remember thinkin’ that you were somethin’ special if you cared about me that much.” He laughs and reaches down to link their hands together. “I was right, but for much different reasons.” He looks back Genji’s way. “What about you? Do you know when you realized you loved me?”

A flush runs through him, feeling quite inadequate with his own reason and he averts his eyes. “I’m… not really sure,” he lies. Jesse raises an eyebrow, leaning close with a crooked grin.

“Come on, honey. I just spilled my guts, now it’s your turn.” He presses a kiss against Genji’s cheek, lingering there a moment to say, “I don’t care if it was a week ago or a month ago, I’m just curious.” He trails his lips down to kiss the underside of Genji’s jaw and it’s almost _cruel_ how fast Genji’s heart is beating right now, and he knows he’ll crack sooner rather than later. He pushes back on Jesse’s chest gently so he can look at him face to face. Still, he can’t quite keep the smile that’s tugging at his mouth.

“If you _must_ know, you have to pay attention,” he warns, but Jesse ignores him and leans forward to peck him on the nose. Genji bursts into laughter, pushing at him again. “I mean it, Jesse McCree! Cut it out!”

Jesse laughs too. “I can’t help it, baby! I’m happier than a fox in a hen house and you had such a serious look on your face I wanted to get rid of.” Still, Jesse leans back after leaving another kiss on Genji’s forehead, waiting for him to speak. “Okay, I’ll behave -- promise.”

Genji waits a second or two to make sure he’ll stay put, and when Jesse dutifully obeys he takes a deep breath. “If I’m being honest, it wasn’t until very recently I realized I had feelings for you. You’ve been my friend for so long and I didn’t think I ever wanted to change that. But…” he pauses, debates whether or not he wants to continue. “The night we had our one night stand; the way you _looked_ at me that night made me feel like... I was irreplaceable. Like I was the the center of the universe. No one’s ever looked at me that way before. No one’s ever treated me as gently as you did that night.”

Jesse frowns, like the statement doesn’t sit well with him, but he still leans forward and presses their foreheads together. “You are, sweetheart. You’ve always been. You’re everythin’ to me and more.” They’re quiet for a few seconds before he laughs under his breath, pulling Genji in closer. “I can’t believe this. We went this long pinin’ after one another without sayin’ nothin’. We didn’t even notice it ‘till it was pointed out.”

Genji smiles. “We’re idiots.”

Jesse laughs again, this time louder before leaning in to press a quick kiss against the side of Genji’s neck. “Your brother ain’t gonna ever let us forget about this, is he?”

With a snort, Genji shakes his head. “I don’t think _I_ will ever let us forget it. We went through all the stages of a cheesy romance plot that we promised ourselves we wouldn’t let happen.” Still, it all worked out in the end for them. Jesse snickers.

“We never were too keen on followin’ rules.”

That pulls a laugh from Genji’s chest. “That is very true.”

The quiet returns. Genji appreciates it, but even though pressed against Jesse’s warm chest is the nicest he’s felt in a while, he’s starting to sweat due to the amount of blankets he’s under. It’s only worse since Jesse is a human space heater, not to mention the real one pointed at his feet, so he starts to squirm.

Jesse lifts his head to peer at him. “Somethin’ wrong?”

Genji struggles to peel blankets off of himself because he’s sitting on some of their corners, trying to push himself up but only putting his weight on other ones. He’s trapped. “I’m too hot.”

A snort, followed by a lighthearted, “I could’a told you that, sweet pea.” He grins when Genji shoots a withering look his way and he stands to help him, but not before he leaves a peck at Genji’s temple. “I’m just teasin’, no need to give me attitude.”

“Shut up, you love my attitude,” Genji remarks reflexively, like he’s done so many times before, but he falls short when he realizes how true it really was. Jesse helps him untangle himself from the blankets and laughs softly.

“That I do. You can be a real pain in the ass, but I do.” When he frees Genji of all the blankets, he reaches down and strokes the back of his hand across Genji’s cheek. “And I never really told you how I really felt that night we slept together. What I really wanted to say to you when I was gazin’ down at you, all spread out and layin’ in front of me.” He kneels down so he can look up at him and takes Genji’s hands between his own, and the look on his face when he gazes up catches Genji’s heart in his throat. “The only thoughts runnin’ through my mind that night were how beautiful you are, and how lucky I was to be able to see so much of you,” he says, and he brings one of Genji’s hands up to kiss his knuckles.

Just when Genji thinks he can start to handle this kind of stuff, Jesse cranks it back up to an eleven and he’s left there floundering for a worthy reply. Still, he shakes his head. “I’m the lucky one here,” is what he finally settles on. He cups his hands around the sides of Jesse’s face. “I don’t know where I would possibly be without you. I meant it back then, and I mean it now. I am so lucky to have you in my world, and I’m so lucky to have fallen for you as well. My only wish is that it hadn’t taken me so long to realize it.”

He presses a gentle kiss to Jesse lips before pulling away, but something flickers deep in Jesse’s brown eyes that he can’t recognize, and then Jesse rises up, clutching him by the hips, and smashes their mouths back together. It’s deeper this time. Hotter. Genji nearly makes a noise of surprise into Jesse’s mouth, but when Jesse kneels over him and presses him back into the couch, he pulls himself together and kisses him right back.

It doesn’t last as long as Genji is hoping it would. Jesse jerks himself away when he seems to realize what he’s doing, coming to his senses. “I’m sorry,” he gasps, going scarlet all the way down to his chest -- Genji can see it thanks to a few undone buttons. He briefly wishes they were all undone. “I -- I don’t know what came over me--”

Genji silences him with a messy open mouthed kiss, tugging him forward with a hand knotted in Jesse’s hair. When they pull away again, Jesse has a familiar look in his eyes and Genji bites his lip to hold back a grin. “You have too much clothing on.”

Those brown eyes glimmer with a hunger Genji’s seen before, a smirk rising to Jesse’s lips. “I could say the same for you, sweetheart.”

Genji kisses him hotly again, if only to hold back an elated grin. “I’m glad you have the same idea here, baby.” He feels Jesse shiver when he sneaks a hand up his shirt, making a noise into his mouth when he captures him in another press of their mouths.

“Bedroom?” Jesse forces out when they break apart, panting when Genji starts to busy himself with the skin at the crook of his neck. Genji sucks at a spot and hums his approval, and Jesse’s lifting him up before he even gets an answer out.

 

 

 

His phone goes off early in the morning, even before he has his alarm set. Jesse feels the arm around his bare waist shift, a half asleep but displeased grumble behind him into the nape of his neck, and he hurries to silence the call as fast as his heavy limbs will allow him before he stuffs his head back into his pillow and tucks his sheets back over himself.

Genji grumbles something out Jesse can’t understand -- he isn’t sure if it's incomprehensible due to a language barrier or if it was just mumbled so poorly -- but Genji doesn’t wait for an answer before curling himself closer and sleepily kissing the back of his neck. It’s not long before Jesse can hear his breathing ease again as he falls back asleep, and it’s not much longer after that he joins him.

The second his alarm goes off, he shuts it off and instantly hates how he has to get ready for work instead of stay in bed all day with his boyfriend.

His real, _actual_ boyfriend _._

He lifts himself up to see Genji curled up at his side and still deeply asleep, a bedhead of unruly black hair splayed across the pillow he has his arms tucked under and Jesse’s sheets pulled low enough that his back is exposed. Jesse can’t help himself when his eyes linger at the dragon inked into the skin along Genji’s spine, long fluid lines of greens and yellows winding and looping around itself. He can’t help himself -- he reaches forward and traces his fingers lightly along the body of the beast and smiles softly.

With a little groan from the back of his throat, Genji wakes up slowly from the touches and mushes his face into pillow before lifting his head and blinking sleep heavy eyes at him. There’s the obvious question on his mind he seems too tired to ask, his brain moving faster than his mouth can catch up, and Jesse smiles apologetically.

“I gotta get up for work, sugarplum,” he says softly. Genji’s eyebrows pull together.

“It’s still dark,” he complains groggily, reaching for Jesse’s wrist and trying to pull him his way, but he’s barely using any strength. “Stay with me.”

Lord _above_ does he want to, especially with Genji asking him to stay. There’s nothing he wants to do more than to pull Genji back into his arms and kiss him until he falls back asleep -- it’s taking all of his willpower not to call off. “I can’t, honey,” he says instead. “I promise I’ll be back home early this afternoon. I can take you home now if you’d like, but you can stay as long as you want before then.”

Genji grumbles out another sleepy whine, shutting his eyes and frowning. “Don’t want to go home. Wanna stay with you.”

Jesse feels the corners of his lips twitch up, his heart singing joyously. “Alright then. You go back to sleep then, alright baby?” He leans forward and presses his lips to Genji’s temple before reluctantly pulling away, and Genji mumbles out a disappointed sound of agreement as Jesse steps out of bed.

He tries to be as silent as he can while he showers and gets dressed, stepping around his bedroom on his toes to avoid stepping on any creaky floorboards to rouse Genji again (even though he _knows_ he won’t wake up until the later morning.) He holds himself back from leaving another kiss on Genji’s cheek when he goes in to make himself a cup of coffee before he leaves. When he’s looking through the news, his phone rings and he’s surprised to see it’s his boss. He answers quickly.

“Howdy, ma’am. Have a good mornin’?”

_“Good morning, Jesse. Truth be told, no, I haven’t. I’d hate to say this since you already sound bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but I can’t dig my car out from all this ice and snow so I’ve called everyone off.”_ She sounds awful sore about it to, pulling her phone away for a minute and her voice is replaced by the faint sound of her swearing like a truck-driver as she hacks at some ice. _“I tried to call you earlier, but you weren’t awake yet.”_

So that’s what that phone call was this morning -- it seems as if Jesse’s prayers for a day home have been answered tenfold. He tries not to sound too relieved when he answers her. “That’s too bad, ma’am. I take it the shop will be open tomorrow?”

She huffs. _“I don’t know yet. If they can open the roads by this evening I’d say there’s a good chance of it, but we’ll see.”_ His light tone doesn’t pass her by -- he can hear the smile in her voice when she continues. _“What’s up with you all the sudden? You sound happier than you have in a while. Did something happen?”_

Jesse laughs. “You could say that, boss.” He looks towards the door to his bedroom and sighs contentedly. “I finally had a bit of some good luck.”

His boss laughs on the other end. _“It’s about time. Efi was starting to worry that you’d never smile again.”_ She clicks her tongue softly. _“Well, I’d better get back to this damn ice -- I still have a handful of other people I still gotta call anyway. Have a good day, Jesse.”_

“You too ma’am. I most certainly will.”

When he hangs up, he’s at a loss of what he should do. He could climb back into bed with Genji at the risk of waking him up, or he could just stay up and wait for him to wake on his own. He decides upon the latter -- he can just laze around anyway, and then when it’s closer to the time Genji wakes up he can make them breakfast.

He turns on the television but barely pays attention to it, his mind still enraptured over the memories of the day previous and the fact that his love wasn’t unrequited. When Genji had appeared, soaking wet and chilled to the bone, Jesse had automatically assumed the worst-- that Genji was only arriving because he had no one else to turn to. The real reason was so much sweeter.

Jesse’s eyes trail down to the space heater at the floor and thinks about putting it away along with the blankets shoved to the side of the couch, but he doesn’t _want_ to yet. It was the only tangible evidence that what happened yesterday really did occur, besides for Genji in his bed and his sore hips, but that was another matter entirely.

Genji had told him he loved him last night at every opportunity, and he echoed those statements back, over and over to the point it didn’t even sound like real words anymore. It was _exhilarating;_ Jesse could say it without abandon or guilt and he could _mean_ it this time, not having to worry about any fake appearances they needed to keep up. He could kiss Genji’s cheek and he could hold his hand and listen to the sound of Genji’s breath catching in his throat if he kissed him _just right_ and it would all be for _him_ and him alone.

It’s the best Jesse’s felt in a long time.

He stays like that for a while, daydreaming of the future as the sun starts to rise and the hours tick ahead, and it’s around ten o’clock that his stomach growls loud enough to interrupt his thoughts. Jesse pulls himself to his feet and makes his way into his tiny kitchen in order to find something he could make for the two of them -- he grimaces when there’s little to nothing except for a box of instant pancake mix and an eighth of a bottle of syrup.

Well, it’s better than cereal.

Within a few minutes, he’s done making the mix, adding a splash of vanilla and some cinnamon to spruce it up a little, and he’s pouring the mix into the pan on the stove. He’s surprised to notice he had started humming absentmindedly under his breath, and laughs quietly under his breath while he busies himself.

“Luck,” he says wrly, and laughs again with a shake of the head. He’s too distracted thinking to himself to notice anything around him until a pair of arms draped in Jesse’s comforter loop around his middle, a face pressing into the space between his shoulder blades.

“You’re not at work,” Genji states, still groggy. He must have just woken up -- his skin is still warm from the sheets. “And you didn’t come back to bed.”

Jesse continues to cook their breakfast and laughs. “Sorry, baby. I didn’t want to wake you back up. Good news though, the bad weather closed the shop today, so you’ve got me all to yourself for the next twenty-or-so hours.”

The arms around his waist tighten their hold, Genji let out a soft and tired laugh. “Good.” He reaches up to kiss the back of Jesse’s neck. “Because I am never letting go of you again. I love you, Jesse McCree.”

Jesse smiles. He isn’t about to either -- and he never will.

“Took the words right outta my mouth, sunshine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaa i've been so excited to get this chapter to you guys ever since i wrote it, and i'm so elated to finally be able to post it!! with this, the final chapter of the fic is up!! i'm so glad i've had all of you along for this silly little fic that grew into something so much bigger over the course of these six months. it's my longest fic to date and i couldn't be more proud of it!!
> 
> that being said, there is still an epilogue i'll be adding next week that will take place a few months in the future, so the story's not quite over yet lol ;p
> 
> thank you for all of your constant support!! it makes my entire day seeing a comment from one of you lovely readers and it gives me the push to continue writing and updating, so thank you from the bottom of my heart <3 i will see you all for the final update next week!!
> 
> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) || [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


	16. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end

There are two ties laid in front of him, but Jesse still can’t decide which one works better for him (and he really doesn’t have the time to be worrying about it either, but he’s really stumped.) The pale green one will match with Genji’s shirt and the inner parts of his vest, but the turquoise stone in the bolo tie is too pretty to pass up -- especially since Ana was the one to give it to him. He makes a face and hopes he’s not starting to sweat; he has plenty of time to perspire later over things far more important.

He sighs. “Buttercup, can you help me with somethin’?”

Genji pokes his head out of their bathroom. “What’s up?” His eye makeup is already done, hair pushed back up and away from his face -- Jesse’s taking longer than him to get ready for once, and he’s hating it. He tries not to let his disappointment show on his face as he gestures helplessly to the ties.

“I can’t chose one.”

“What?” Genji asks, eyebrows knitting together. He steps out of the bathroom, his pale green button down untucked from his pants, and he purses his lips when he falls in beside him. He looks down at the ties curiously. “What are you talking about?”

“The ties. I don’t know which one I should wear.” Jesse repeats, running a hand through his wild and still damp hair -- he’s going to need to tie it back so he looks more presentable, he hasn't had it cut in too long. “I want to look nice but I can’t decide with one’s, well, _nicer.”_

Genji shoots him a sneaky grin, raising an eyebrow. “In my humble opinion, I think you’d look nicer without the tie. Or the shirt.”

The look that Jesse rebukes with is scathing. “Humble my _ass._ You ain’t helpin’, sugar.”

Genji isn’t phased as he laughs, picking up the bolo tie from their bed and wrapping it around Jesse's neck. He shakes his head as he tightens it before smiling gently up at him. “This one looks nicer on you -- and you look fine, love, I promise.” The smile turns teasing. “Gabriel will probably be too busy crying his eyes out to even notice what you’re wearing anyway.”

Jesse sure hopes so, but that really isn’t his point. “I just wanna make sure I have acceptable wedding attire.” He can’t help but sigh, turning to peer at himself in Genji's long floor-length mirror and reaching up to touch the turquoise stone. “I wish they’d have given us more of a dress code other than just sayin’ keep it fancy. What if I wear the wrong thing? I don’t wanna ruin nothin’....”

“Jesse,” Genji chides, forcing his attention back on him with a gentle hand on his cheek. He’s still smiling despite looking a little exasperated, but he still sounds kind as he speaks. “You are _not_ going to ruin anything. If you can handle moving into a new apartment with me, you can handle being Gabriel’s best man.”

It’s true. Genji is the worst moving partner and _pickiest_ apartment hunter in the history of the universe. Even though they’ve technically been living together for a few months now, they only _just_ found an apartment that suited both of their tastes (more Genji’s than Jesse’s, really) and fit all their things while remaining affordable on their salaries. They technically haven’t finished, moving boxes all over the place and furniture not in its rightful place, but it’s felt more like a home than Jesse’s ever felt on his own since they got to share it.

Still, the pit of anxiety over the Reyes/Morrison wedding that’s been clawing its way through him these past few months has Jesse on edge and thinking of the worst.

“This is a big day for Gabriel,” he says quietly, absentmindedly reaching forward to link their fingers together to ground himself. “He’s been dreamin’ of this for years; now that it’s finally happenin’ I just want to make it as perfect as I can for him. He’s done so much for me over all these years, it’s about time I repaid him.”

“Gabriel’s done all of those things because he loves you, not because he’s expecting to be repaid,” Genji laughs, reaching up to fix a few stray hairs that refuse to stay down on top of Jesse’s head. He cocks his head to the side. “You’ll do fine. Besides, Ana will be with you the whole time, and I’ll be with the rest of the family back in the audience.”

Everything Genji says makes him rest a little easier since he knows it’s the truth. Jesse takes a deep breath as he shuts his eyes, hoping that will let out some of the tension in his shoulders. “Thanks, honey. You’re right.” He leans forward to peck Genji on the lips and smiles at him when he pulls away. “You look awful handsome today.”

Genji pokes his tongue out in a smile, but not until after he’s leaned back in to kiss Jesse again. “Of course I do -- by the way, you look amazing in that shirt. It’s tight in all the right places; I appreciate the eye candy.” He winks as Jesse flushes before pulling away, the little tease. “Hurry up and get yourself together so we aren’t late to the garden. I’m sure your Father needs support more than ever.”

He’s right, but he’s not about to get away with his teasing that easy. Jesse snatches Genji from behind, wrapping his arms around his middle and lifting him up as Genji squeals a little in surprise. He starts laughing when Jesse starts peppering the side of his face with kisses, trying to squirm his way out of Jesse’s hold. “Jesse, stop! We have to get going soon!”

“I don’t think so, sweetheart. You aren’t about to get away with actin’ like that without me retaliating!” Genji stops squirming long enough for Jesse to leave a lengthy kiss on his lips before he opens his arms to allow him to leave. Genji smiles hard enough he has to bite his lip to try and keep it down while he scurries back into the bathroom, cheeks flushed, and Jesse smiles himself before reaching for his dress pants.

The two of them finish getting themselves together quickly now that Jesse’s worries have been sedated -- for the time being at least -- and before they head out they grab their wedding present from their kitchen table and head out the door.

It’s a beautiful day for it being mid-June. The intense heat of summer hasn’t arrived so it’s warm without the temperature as sweltering, and Jesse rolls down the windows in the truck to let the wind blow through the truck along the drive. There are few clouds to be seen -- it was the perfect day for Jack and Gabriel to get married.

Of course when they get there, Ana is waiting out front of the indoor garden’s entrance. She looks quite sharp as Jack’s best man (woman?), wearing a white pantsuit with a deep neckline to show off the deep blue blouse she’s wearing underneath that matches her hijab, and she raises a hand when she sees them. They park and get out quickly, not wanting to make her wait, but she steps towards Jesse’s truck in a pair of blue flats anyway.

“I’m glad you’re finally here,” she greets, kissing both of them on the cheek before turning to Jesse with a tired smile. “Gabriel is having a crisis and he won’t listen to a word that either Olivia or I say. I was hoping you could talk some sense to him -- I need to get back to Jack to make sure he isn’t ready to have a fit as well.”

Jesse tries not to grimace too hard. As much as he wishes he could be, he's not surprised. “Sure thing, Auntie. I’ll head back there right away.” With a quick look towards Genji, he gestures to the indoor garden area where the ceremony will take place, the pathway lines with signs to prevent guests form losing their way. “You can go ahead and get settled in, sweetheart. I’m sure there’s already a bunch of people waiting inside that you can talk to.”

There’s a moment where hesitation passes over Genji’s face, like he wants to come with, but he doesn't argue as he nods. “I’ll see you once the ceremony starts.” He leans up to give Jesse’s cheek a quick peck before he heads in the direction of the main entrance -- and Jesse turns towards the part of the building he knows he’ll find his father and sets off himself.

He isn’t surprised to walk in and see Sombra with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, speaking quick Spanish to their father, who just sits with an unreadable expression on his face. She’s obviously annoyed with him. Jesse can’t help but feel a little stunned at how nice his sister looks, in a flowy indigo dress and the long parts of her hair pulled into a french braid that shows off the patterns of her undercut. (He can't remember a time she's ever been in formal wear, she wasn't very keep on going to them.)

When Sombra notices Jesse step into the room, she turns to face him and points a manicured finger in Gabriel’s direction.

“Talk some sense into Dad, Jesse,” she states with a scowl before stomping over to slump next to Fareeha and Angela, who look a little worse for wear as they smile weakly in Jesse’s direction. It seems that Gabe’s attitude was affecting them as well.

With a sigh, Jesse goes to sit down next to his father and hopefully get things running a bit more smoothly. He bumps up against Gabriel’s shoulder with a soft grin. “What’s up, Pops? Ana told me you were havin’ a crisis of some kind.”

Gabriel lifts his eyes from the floor and takes a deep breath. “You know how I never regret the decisions I’ve made in my life.” Jesse nods his head and Gabriel gestures with his hands. “This should be one of them, Jesse. It should. But I can’t help but just… worry if we’re moving in the right direction.”

So he was getting cold feet. Jesse forces himself not to grimace in front of Gabriel. “So what I’m gettin’ is you don’t think marrying Mor-- Jack is a good idea.”

Another shake of the head. “That’s just it though. I know it’s _not_ a bad idea. We’ve both wanted this for a long time, we’ve talked about this so much I should never second guess myself.” He laughs a little, and it's as close to hysterical as Gabriel ever gets. “And yet? All I can do is worry about it.”

There’s a moment where Jesse looks at the wood-patterned linoleum at their feet while he gathers his thoughts, and then he brings his gaze back up to Gabe’s. “I mean, you love him, don’t ya?”

Gabriel sighs, putting his head in his hands. “More than anything. I always have. It’s just--” he pauses to heave another sigh, like he isn’t sure how else to fill the silence while he searches for the words he’s trying to convey. “What if things go wrong between us again? What if we realize that, after this is all over, this isn’t how it should be for us?”

“Dad.” Jesse frowns, and waits until his father is looking at him before he speaks. “Jack loves you. He loves you just as much as you love him. You believe it, right?” Gabriel nods and now it’s Jesse’s turn to gesture. “Then trust in that belief that this is the right thing to do. It’s important to listen to your gut. What’s it saying right now?”

Gabriel gives a weak smile, his voice soft. “I want to marry Jack.”

“There you go, old man.” Jesse shoots him an exasperated smile, suddenly understanding how Genji felt earlier that day when quelling his own fears. He reaches forward and puts an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders. “You can do this, Pops. If you need me, I’ll be standin’ right behind you. Just like I always will.” He grins, attempting to bring a lighthearted air back to the room. “And Liv will be a few feet behind me, like _she_ usually is.”

“I can hear you, _pendejo,”_ she says sharply, but Jesse can see the gratitude in her eyes momentarily before it returns to the normal amount of sass. “Now how much longer do we have until it’s time to start moving? I’m getting bored just sitting around.”

“We still have a half an hour,” Fareeha reminds, brushing a few of her curled, dark locks behind her ear. “And we’re still waiting for Reinhardt to bring the corsages and boutonnieres we’re going to be wearing.” She stands, brushing some wrinkles out of the navy blue dress she’s wearing before holding a hand out to help Angela up as well. “He must still be helping Jack's side of the family with putting them on.”

Gabriel takes a deep sigh and stands as well before he looks down at Jesse. “By the way, where’s Genji?”

Jesse blinks. “Out with the rest of the folks who ain’t with us or Jack. Why?”

With a frown, Gabriel cracks the knuckles of his right hand absentmindedly to help with his stress. “I thought he was gonna stand with you -- we have a boutonniere for him.”

Jesse’s mouth goes dry. “I just assumed that since Satya’s not gonna stand with Liv--”

“She doesn’t like that much attention, dummy,” Sombra huffs, eyes trained on her phone as her fingers rapidly tap out words. “If she was comfortable with it I’d have her by my side, but she’s not. Why do you think Reeha’s got Angela with her?”

Gabriel ignores her, focusing his attention on Jesse with a pleading look. “Can you go get him please? And see if you can find Reinhardt while you’re at it too.”

He’s not even done speaking before Jesse’s nodding, on his feet and stepping backwards out of the room. “I’ll be faster than a jackrabbit, Gabe.” Then he turns on his heel and starts to hurry his way out to where he knows he’ll find Genji and where he’s hoping he’ll find Reinhardt.

He picks Genji out of the crowd easily, chatting with Lena and Emily, along with a taller and heavyset gentleman that Jesse doesn’t have the time to identify. Probably Winston, but who knows. He weaves his way in and out of guests before he calls out to him, trying to keep his voice down to avoid a ruckus. “Genji!”

He turns to see Jesse making his way over and his expression turns confused. “What are you--”

“Sorry ‘bout this, but I need to take him from y’all for somethin’,” Jesse interrupts, flashing a weak smile at Lena before snatching Genji’s hand and dragging him away towards the other side of the building where he knows he’ll find Jack. He explains while they’re hurrying their way over. “Sorry honey, but Gabe wants you in his entourage of attendants.”

“What? Me?” Genji increases his pace a little so he’s side by side with him, looking stunned. “But why me? I thought it’d be just family members in his attendants.”

“So did I,” Jesse replies, grinning nervously, glancing Genji’s way momentarily before continuing to navigate. “But Fareeha’s got Angela, and Gabe asked for you personally since you’re my partner and all. You even get to wear a boutonniere.”

Genji blinks at the term before he beams at him. “Partners, huh? So I’m more than just a boyfriend to you then?”

“Hush up,” Jesse laughs, slowing to a halt outside the doors to the room the Morrison side of the family was getting ready in. He leaves a kiss on Genji’s lips. “Of course you are. Now give me a sec before we head back to Gabe.” He knocks on the door and waits a second, and Hana opens it up after a moment. There’s a corsage on her left wrist -- they must be here.

“What’s up?” she asks, chewing on a piece of spearmint gun. “Something wrong over on your end of the wedding?”

“Is Reinhardt in there?” Jesse asks, and Hana nods. He lets out a sigh of relief, lolling his head back before he returns to Hana’s curious gaze. “We need our corsages.”

The bubble she’s blowing pops, her eyebrows raising. “Oh. That’s why there were two boxes. Hold on.” She shuts the door for a moment and Jesse and Genji exchange a look when they hear a bit of a commotion from inside before the door reopens. This time it’s Reinhardt, looking red in the face and holding a box.

“Er, sorry about that.” He laughs brashly, holding the box out and scratching at his beard. “I had gotten so excited giving them out to everyone over here I had forgotten all about yours. Here you go.” Genji takes it from him while Jesse laughs.

“It’s alright, Rein. We were just wonderin’ if you’d scurried off somewhere and gotten yourself lost.” It’s not entirely a lie, as Jesse doesn’t think it’d be possible to lose a man of Reinhardt’s stature, but with Reinhardt anything was possible. He gestures a finger gun with his free hand at the older man. “See you in a few. Tell Jack good luck for me.”

The grin that Reinhardt sends down at him is blinding. “Will do! Good luck yourself!”

The two of them hurry back to the other room on the other side of the building after that, and Gabriel sighs audibly in relief when he sees Genji and the box he’s carrying. “Thank Christ. Come on, everyone grab their shit. You know what’s what.”

There’s a moment of chaos where everyone grabs their flowers at once, but then the box lays empty on a table near the door and they’re putting the boutonnieres and corsages on. They’re simple yet pretty; a single white rose with a small bunch of tiny sky blue flowers at the bottom, tied with a navy blue ribbon. Genji hums while pinning it to the left side of his waistcoat.

“Zenyatta makes these look so nice,” he says dreamily before looking up to see Jesse struggling with his own. He snickers, raising an eyebrow. “Want my help?”

Jesse gives up with a sigh and just hands it over, and Genji laughs again as he sticks the pin through to attach the boutonniere to Jesse’s suit jacket. Jesse just watches his deft hands pin it on effortlessly. “Do you know what the little blue flowers are at the bottom?” he can’t help but ask when Genji goes about making sure it’s straight, and Genji smiles.

“They’re Forget-me-nots,” he murmurs, brushing at Jesse’s suit jacket to get rid of some pollen that seems to have clung to the flowers before resting both of his hands on Jesse’s shoulders. “Pretty, aren’t they?”

The look that Genji has on his face when he says it is caught somewhere between dreamy and longing, and Jesse likes the way it makes his face look softer. He just can’t help it when he leans forward and kisses his love's forehead. “Not as pretty as you are.”

Genji laughs and that’s when one of the employees who’s helping with the ceremony pokes his head in the door that leads to the garden. “We all set?” he asks, and Gabriel nods. The employee grins and shoots a thumbs up. “Great. We’re all ready to go. Just as we practiced, alright?” Then he leaves.

Gabriel takes another deep breath, and then he turns towards them all as they file in neatly behind the shut door. “I…” he pauses to breath out. “I want to thank you for being with me today. I can't fully express how grateful I am to have you here and for helping us make this day possible. I don’t know how I could do this without you standing beside me.” His voice turns more watery as he speaks and that’s when Jesse has to step in.

“C’mon, Dad, don’t start crying yet,” he jokes, punching Gabriel lightly in the shoulder. “You haven’t even _started_ getting married yet. Save some tears for Morrison.”

“Jack,” Gabriel still corrects, but he laughs a little and nods. “Alright, alright. Let’s do this.” He steps to the side and gestures for them to go ahead of him. He huffs a short breath. “Let’s get married.”

Jesse steps forward to walk first, holding an arm out to Genji so they can link them together, and Genji smiles at him and he takes it. “Just follow me and I’ll tell you where to go,” Jesse says reassuringly, seeing the anxiety at the edge of Genji’s eyes. “It’s easy. Just walk with me when the doors open, then stand and watch Gabe and Jack cry over each other for a little while.”

“Jesse.” Gabriel’s voice is holding a tone of warning, but Jesse can’t regret what he’s said when Genji fights to hold back snickers. He laughs himself, looking over his shoulder to smile at his father cheekily.

“What? It’s true!”

Sombra hushes him with a hiss even though she's giggling too and he quiets down just in time for the doors to open.

On the far end of the garden, Jesse sees Ana with her arm in Reinhardt’s. They both wait for the music to begin, and it's only when she nods at him that Jesse takes a deep breath and they begin to walk towards the altar.

The garden is gorgeous. The sun shines through the glass ceiling of the greenhouse, painting the leaves and petals with warm golden sunlight that makes the flowers seem to glow. Over the altar, there’s a canopy of blue flowers -- Forget-me-nots -- reaching overhead in an arch that touches the ground. There’s a soft rendition of a song that Jesse remembers Gabriel listening to a lot when he was younger playing overhead, but he doesn't recall the name as he glances over the crowd.

The guests are all seated in white wooden chairs to their left, too many faces to count and only a few that Jesse actually recognizes. Still, with all the eyes on him he’s starting to feel a little faint. He jerks his eyes forward again and keeps his eyes locked with Ana’s the whole rest of the way to meet at the altar in the middle, arm tightening its grip on Genji’s before they finally step up to their places to stand.

“You’re okay,” Genji whispers under his breath. He must have sensed Jesse’s nerves start to twist. Jesse's gaze flickers back over to his partner's face and Genji gives him a reassuring smile as they un-loop their arms. “Remember, this is all about Gabriel and Jack. Everyone’s going to be looking at _them_ the whole time, not you.”

As usual, he's right. Jesse takes a deep breath and nods as small as he can, and he waits for the rest of the the groom attendants to take their places. Sombra walks at the same time Lúcio does on the other side, both of them carrying a basket that holds flower petals in it and walking along the path as they scatter them here and there, stopping when they reach the altar and they step in line with the other attendants. Finally, Angela and Fareeha make their entrance just as Brigitte Lindholm and Hana mirror them, both pairs with arms linked, and they take the same path as the rest before taking their places in line as well.

The music slows to a stop, and another acoustic cover of a song takes its place. Still one that Jesse can’t name, but one he can place as one of Gabriel or Jack’s favorites.

A hush falls over the room as Gabriel and Jack take their places at the doors.

Jesse meets his father's anxious gaze and gives him a little nod, and Gabriel's shoulders rise in a large inhale before and they start to walk in.

It’s almost surreal to watch them finally taking these steps after all these years. Jesse can feel like the sentiment is shared throughout the silent room. It's almost like everyone's stopped breathing. _Too long it’s been_ , the energy seems to say, and both Gabriel and Jack seem to be spurred on by it. They each quicken their pace to join each other -- until their nearly running -- and when they finally meet in the middle they’re both smiling wide and laughing, looking a little embarrassed but ecstatic all the same as they hold onto one another, and then they turn to the officiant to start the wedding.

The rest of the ceremony goes by as perfectly as Jesse was expecting. When it’s their turn, Jack and Gabriel both exchange the vows they had written themselves. While Jack delivers his vows without a problem, voice as strong as it’s always been, Gabriel’s hands are shaking as he retrieves his own vows on a crumpled piece of paper from his breast pocket, his voice trembling little when he starts to reach the end and he has to pause a few times so he doesn’t start to cry. Jack doesn’t try to interrupt or hush him at all during those pauses; he just smiles and holds Gabriel’s hands, waiting patiently until he finishes.

Everyone else in the room seems to all be in different stages of crying themselves by now. Reinhardt is full on bawling, struggling to keep down happy sobs and dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief. Brigitte looks about the same, but she’s controlling herself much better than her godfather is as she scrubs as tears that track down her cheeks. Hana isn’t crying, looking on in amazement as the vows are said, holding tightly onto both Brigitte’s and Lúcio’s hands while bouncing excitedly on her toes. Jesse ends up having to hold back tears himself, especially when Genji reaches over to squeeze his hand, but he keeps himself together.

When it’s time to exchange the rings, Jack and Gabriel each take turns placing them on their fingers and it's clear they're both starting to fall apart a little. It’s clear that Jack’s hands are shaking when it’s his turn, so Gabriel guides him as best as he can in his own state and they laugh quietly and Gabriel struggles to place his ring on Jack. Jesse's almost ready to start running after one of the bands if they fall to the ground, but it doesn't happen.

Then comes the moment of truth.

The officiant raises her hands to gesture to each of them. “Then by the power vested in me, I now declare you husbands. You may now kiss.”

It’s like they can’t get to each other fast enough, crashing into each other and kissing each other as hard as they can. Jack and Gabriel kiss like they’re kissing for the first time, like they're twenty gain -- like they’re drowning and their other half is their only source of air. When they finally break apart, they seem a little embarrassed to remember they're in front of a crowd, but they turn towards the audience and raise the hands they have linked together towards the sky triumphantly.

The audience erupts into cheers and applause. Jesse lifts his fingers to his lips and whistles; he hears Lena cheer the loudest out of all of them as she leaps out of her seat to stand on top of it. Ana has her hand over her heart, her eyes closed with a relieved smile on her face; Reinhardt starts crying even harder and blows his nose into his handkerchief.

The officiant raises her voice to address the audience over the sound of the noise. “I now present the newly married couple of Jack Morrison and Gabriel Reyes!”

The cheering somehow increases in volume -- Jesse didn't even think it was possible. Reinhardt can’t stand it anymore and steps away from where he’s standing to rush forward and throw his arms around the both of them in a bone-crushing embrace, to which Jack and Gabriel laugh at through their own teary eyes and try to hug back as best as they can even though the older man engulfs them both.

Beside him, Genji holds tight to Jesse’s hand through it all, even leaning into his side to press his cheek against his shoulder. “Your family is always such a pleasure to be with,” he sighs quietly, watching as Hana performs an impressive leap onto Reinhardt’s back to get in on the hug as well, wrapping her arms around his neck, and Gabriel stretches a hand out to pull Ana into it as well.

Jesse doesn’t let go of his hand, kissing the top of his head with a smile. “It's your family too, sweetheart. You’re here for the long run now whether you like it or not -- and it’s for real this time.” In front of them, Brigitte and Lúcio both move to nervously stand behind Reinhardt, watching Hana in case she slips in order to catch her so she doesn’t hurt herself, and Ana tries to pull away to retrieve the cloth and glass for Jack to break since he seemed to have forgotten himself. Jesse shakes his head and his wry smile grows. “This massive ‘n’ messy family is yours too.”

Genji laughs. “Good. Mine is way too boring anyway, even if Hanzo is learning how to have fun again.” He hums. "I wouldn't want it other way."

Good, Jesse thinks, because he feels the same way.

 

 

 

After Jack smashes the glass beneath his foot and everyone shouts their well wishes, the wedding party and all the guests files out of the garden the ceremony had taken place in to, everyone packs up the celebration to move onto the reception. In a nearby park near the local lake, they’ve set up a massive white tent for everything they'll need to have their after-party -- the catering company is even already set up and ready for the oncoming rush of hungry guests when they begin to arrive.

Despite not everyone being able to stay for the reception afterwards, but there’s still a hefty group of people that Jesse can’t recognize that end up seated around the large round tables. Luckily enough, he and Genji end up sitting at the same table as Angela and Fareeha, Hana and her two dates, and Sombra and Satya -- all of the older members of the family, including both grooms, seated at a table nearby. The Lindholms who aren’t Torbjörn or Ingrid -- or at least just the handful that managed to come -- take up a whole table just on their own, and it looks like Brigitte is a little relieved she doesn’t have to sit with her older siblings and their families and instead with Hana and Lúcio.

The dinner is good, though most of the time is spent laughing among friends and recalling stories from their childhoods. Jesse barely pays attention to what he's eating he’s so wrapped up in listening, and his fork misses his mouth a few times. Genji snorting beside him every time he gets vegetables in his beard instead, and Jesse flushes and kicks him under the table.

The celebrating over food continues until the sun starts to set, most of everyone still just talking over empty plates as person after person continues to approach Gabriel and Jack at their table to congratulate them again. When the orange glow of the setting sun fills the tent and there’s a break in conversation, Jesse swallows down his nerves and stands with his glass of champagne and his spoon. 

It's now or never, and he'd never forgive himself if he chose never. He heaves a breath and clinks the metal of his spoon it against the glass gently to gather everyone’s attention. There’s a lull in of speaking guests before it quiets and comes to a full stop, all eyes directed towards him. Jesse's heart gives another lurch and has to clear his throat as he sets down his spoon.

“Uh, howdy everyone. I hope y'all are havin' a good evenin'. I’d... like to make a toast if I may. And a speech too, I guess,” he says, reaching up to rub the back of his neck as he laughs a little. “Forgive me, I’ve never been too good at speakin’ publicly even if I practiced what I was gonna say beforehand, so bear with me if I mess up gettin’ through this.”

“Go on, my boy!” Reinhardt says heartily, raising a glass. “There’s no judgement here! Say what is on your mind!”

"You can't possibly be as bad as Brigitte," Hana snarks cheekily, and beside her the girl in question goes scarlet when a ripple of laughter goes through the crowd, but she still laughs it off. Jesse feels infinitely better with the support, seeing Gabriel and Ana both nod and a look in their eyes that are urging for him to continue and Genji’s gentle touch at the small of his back, so he inhales deeply before he begins.

“As many of you here know, I was adopted into this family a long time ago. My Mama died when I was young. my old man turnin' tail and leavin' before she even had me. Since my  _Abuela_ couldn’t care for me herself at her age, I was put into foster care as soon as I turned three. It wasn’t until I was seven years old that I got a chance to have a real family and _Gabriel_ was the one who gave me that chance. He allowed me into his life and he _never_ gave up on me. no matter what happened. The only reason I’ve grown up in the good graces you see before you if because of his influence. I don’t know where or what I’d be without him.” He can see the telltale shine in his Father’s eyes and he can feel his throat tightening so he lets out a breath to try and get rid of some of the tension, looking at the ground.

“People... always used to tell me that I’d grow up to be like my father. My _Abuela_ , the kids at the orphanage. I hated it. When I was in my early high school years, I despised it even more. It made me feel like I was doomed to a life of making my kid’s life miserable if I ended up havin’ any. It felt like a prison sentence.” He pauses, biting his cheek for a moment to pull himself together. “Never… never in a million years did I think I’d ever appreciate it.” He looks back up at Gabriel again. “Because even though my old man brought me into the world, he was never my Dad. _You_ were, and you fought for me every step of the way so you could _stay_ my Dad.” He swallows again when the tears collecting in Gabriel’s eyes start to fall, and he smiles. “And if anyone ever tells me that I’ll grow up to be just like my father, I’ll tell them this.”

Everyone is waiting on bated breath for his next statement when he clears his throat again, having to take a drink of his champagne to make sure he can speak without his voice cracking. When Jesse feels he’s ready, he raises his head again with a wry smile.

“If I can grow up and be loved so deeply and so wholly by a man who refuses to leave my side through thick and thin, with a family that’s stronger _together_ than when they’re apart, I’ll be _glad_ to grow up to be like my Father.” He reaches down and holds a hand out towards Genji, who blinks curiously before taking it, and Jesse’s heart flutters in his chest. “And right now? I feel like I’m on the right track.”

Genji's eyes widen before his mouth quirks up into a smile that takes Jesse's breath away.

Without letting go of Genji’s hand, Jesse raises his flute of champagne and holds it out towards the grooms. “So a toast to the man I’m proud to call my father, and the man who’s been through hell and back with him without ever leavin' him alone. I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we’re happy you finally tied the knot, you old fools. Congratulations!”

Everyone else raises their glasses and chimes in the toast as well, applauding Jesse's speech as they take their swallows of alcohol. Once the excitement dies down again, Gabriel stands from his chair to cross over to the table and throw his arms around Jesse tightly in an embrace.

“You made me cry, Jess. Dammit.” Still, he sounds so much happier than Jesse thinks he's heard him in a long time. When he pulls away he sniffs and pats Jesse’s shoulder as he fixes him with a teary smile. “I’m so proud of you. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life and believing in me for all these years.”

“It’s _you_ I should be thanking, Pops,” Jesse corrects, but he doesn’t feel like getting into a one up contest with his father right now, especially since it’ll be over who is more thankful for the other. He shakes his head. “We can argue over this later. Just go have fun with Jack. Neither of you are getting any younger.”

Gabriel laughs, raising an eyebrow. “Alright, you sassy little shit. I get it, I’m old.” Still, he leans in and cups a hand around his mouth like he’s telling a secret, eyes darting around like he’s pretending to avoid eavesdroppers. “I mean, I’m still better off than Jack. At least I still have my hairline and the majority of my natural hair color left, the poor old man.”

There’s snickers from everyone sitting at Jesse’s table, and then a “Who are you calling old, Gabriel?” as Jack joins his side with a sly smile on his face and his arms folded across his chest. “Aren’t _you_ my senior by a few years? I should be buying you a walker for your anniversary gift.” Gabriel barks out a laugh, and Jack slips an arm around his waist before he turns his appreciative smile towards Jesse. “You did great with your speech. kiddo. It really means a lot to us that you’d even give one at all. Gabe was crying harder than he let on, trust me.”

Gabriel throws an arm over Jack’s shoulders in return. “If you think _I_ was a mess, you should’ve seen Reinhardt. I think he was trying to hold back his tears so he wouldn’t interrupt you, Jesse, but he looked like he was going to explode.”

Jack laughs at that. “I think he was trying to keep quiet because Torb scolded him earlier for being too loud during our ceremony.” He rolls his eyes before looking Jesse’s way. “If you can imagine, I didn’t really notice it since that wasn’t really the number one priority on my mind.” He focuses back on Gabriel with a peck on the cheek. “I think it’s time to cut the cake, and then the DJ is gonna set up his shit when the catering company pulls out.”

Gabriel agrees and they both step away, discussing reception matters Jesse doesn’t feel like listening in on. Hana and Brigitte both leap up out of their seats at the mention of cake and each grab one of Lúcio’s hands before all three hurry off towards where a group is gathering to watch the newlyweds cut it. Sombra stands as well, reassuring Satya she’ll grab two slices before heading there as well. Angela and Fareeha seem to have disappeared -- where to, however, Jesse doesn’t want to think about. He decides to hang back and wait until the whole display is over; that way he won’t have to wait so long for dessert. Besides, he can watch from back here just fine.

It’s only when Genji laughs a little beside him that he focuses back on the man at his side. “What’re _you_ laughin’ at, sweetheart?”

Genji has his head propped up by his arm, chin in his palm, and he gazes up with a lazy grin on his face. “I had no idea my boyfriend was such a good public speaker,” he teases. “You told me over and over how you were going to blow it when it came time to actually give the speech you’ve been stressing over for weeks now, but that delivery was on par with some of my Father’s old speeches.” He winks. “You’re making me fall for you even harder, and I didn’t think that was even possible. How do you do it?”

Jesse chuckles as he takes his seat again. “It’s all this Southwestern charm, honeybee. To be honest, I don’t know how I do it either.” He waits until Genji’s finished laughing before he turns serious, swirling around the leftover champagne at the bottom of his glass. “To be honest with ya? I haven’t been this nervous since Thanksgivin’ last November.”

The mention of that night makes Genji's expression melt into a frown. “I’m sorry.”

Jesse huffs a laugh and leans forward to kiss the frown off Genji’s lips, but he still stays close enough to murmur against his jaw. “Don’t worry so much, baby. It all worked out for us, didn’t it? Besides, if I hadn’t said anythin’ to you...”

“I know, I know,” Genji reassures, sending him a cat-like grin as he pulls away. He raises an eyebrow. “You would have never gotten me to agree to move in with you, and we never would have eventually gotten an apartment together.”

Jesse pulls back with a laugh and a smile, nodding. That was their cover story at least. The only people who will _ever_ really know about the extent of their actual relationship problems those few frigid weeks would be Hanzo, Ana, Zenyatta, and the two of them -- and at least for now, it would stay that way. “But let’s not worry about that right now, okay pumpkin?” he suggests. “Let me go grab us some cake once Jack ‘n’ Gabe finish smashing it in each other’s faces and then we can celebrate ‘till the sun comes up.”

Genji rolls his eyes. “Alright, but only if my slice is chocolate. You know the drill.”

The rest of the night is a whirlwind of fun that Jesse can hardly keep track off as everyone drinks more alcohol and become less sober. Jesse dances with nearly everyone -- attempts to follow Lena's quick feet as she does the Charleston with Emily at her side, does the hustle with Angela (as she and Fareeha mystically reappeared halfway through everyone eating cake, the latter sporting a blooming hickey at a spot on the side of her face that Fareeha covers with her hair) and watches as Genji, Hana, and Lúcio all challenge each other to a dance off. He and Brigitte are supposed to judge, and shortly it becomes apparent that they were only chosen because Hana expected Brigitte to crown her the winner and Genji expected Jesse to do the same for him. They settle to an agreement and give it to neither of them, instead awarding the title of Best Dancer to Lúcio for an impressive _capoeira_ routine.

At one point, clearly after several glasses of champagne and who- _knows_ how many shots of whatever else they’ve been drinking, Gabe and Jack take to the dance floor and make sure to dance their worst just to embarrass them all, and it works. Hana tries to melt into the floor while Sombra actually tucks her face into Satya’s shoulder so she doesn’t have to watch, and Genji laughs hysterically as Jesse tries to turn invisible and Fareeha instantly darts over to her mother to keep her seated so he doesn't join them.

Surprisingly, after enough urging, Satya actually steps onto the dance-floor and removes her shoes before doing a dance filled with fluid twists of her hips and bends of the arms to the beat of the song, looking a little self conscious but happy all the same; especially when Sombra joins her side and proudly declares how gorgeous she is over and over. It’s adorable. Still, Jesse can't help but feel like Hana looks the luckiest off, spinning between a dance with Brigitte and one with Lúcio and they both treat her with the utmost care, the trio making an intricate dance between them all that’s mesmerizing to watch.

When the night seems to slow down enough, the DJ in charge of the music starts to stick to calm songs, and most people breaking off to slow dance with their partners. Genji is too deep in conversation with Lena, Emily, and Winston to notice when Jesse looks his way to offer a dance, but Jesse doesn’t mind. He mostly did it just to be polite in case Genji wanted to and not out of a want of his own -- he needs to take a smoke break anyway. All the socialization he’s done has drained him.

He slips out of the tent to go grab his serape out of his truck so he has something to sit on, not wanting grass stains on his nice slacks, and then he makes his way back to the grassy hillside right outside the tent that eventually stretches down to a rocky shore before hitting the expanse of the lake. He spreads the cloth across the ground before he lays back and lights up one of the cigarettes he fishes out of a pack he snatched from his truck, and then he just relaxes and looks up at the sky.

The moon is rising high above them, only a sliver of white in the sky speckled with stars. Even though Jesse can still hear the music from inside the tent from out here, it’s only a quiet hum in the background, the sounds of the crickets and frogs closer to the lake much louder. He appreciates it, breathing out smoke as he lays a hand on his stomach and closes his eyes.

He doesn’t know how long he’s alone, but eventually he hears Genji’s voice as he walks through the grass to meet him. “I knew I’d find you out here.” Jesse opens his eyes to see his love hanging over him, smile on his face, and Jesse can’t help but smile back.

“Oh? How’d you know that?” he asks, and Genji’s smile turns cheeky.

“I was wondering how long you were gonna wait before sneaking off to have a smoke.” He tilts his head to the side, pulling his arms behind his back. “I think you’ve set a new record, to be honest. I’m proud of you.” They both laugh and Genji’s eyes linger on the serape under Jesse’s back. “May I join you?”

“Absolutely, baby.” Jesse sits up to scooch over, leaving enough room for Genji to take a seat next to him, and Genji eases into his side before they both lay back down, Genji throwing an arm over him and resting his head on Jesse’s chest. Jesse takes another drag on his cigarette and blows the smoke out above their heads, watching as it curls away into the night. “Anything happen while I was gone?”

Genji shakes his head, yawning. “No. Lena and Em had to leave, and they were taking Winston home since his dorm is on the way, so after I wished them off I came looking for you.” He laughs softly. “I think Gabe and Jack are still swaying in the middle of the dance floor, half asleep. They’re probably going to leave soon too. Don’t they have a flight to their honeymoon to catch tomorrow morning?”

Jesse flecks ash off the end of his cigarette. “Yeah, they’re headin’ to Switzerland for the week, and their flight’s real early tomorrow. I know you probably wanna head out too, but I’m helpin’ with cleanup duty around here -- all us kids volunteered to stay. If you want, you can just crash out in the truck ‘till I’m finished. It’ll probably take an hour and a half with everythin’ we need to worry about.” He sighs. He knows it needs to be done, but he’s still feeling exhaustion in his bones from just the events of the day.

“I’ll help you guys out,” Genji instantly argues. He snuggles up closer to Jesse’s frame, squirming up to lay his head on Jesse’s shoulder instead. “It’ll take less time the more help you have anyway. Besides, it’s the least I can do to help you out after what I've done.”

Jesse reaches up to comb his fingers through Genji’s hair, huffing out a laugh. “What are you talkin’ about, sweetheart? If it’s about all the nonsense from last year, I told you not to worry about it.” He hums. “The fact your here with me now like this is more than enough.”

"Not that." Jesse frowns as Genji rises up, flushing when he kneels over him with a sly smirk on his lips. "This."

"What are yo--" Jesse doesn't even have time to ask what's about to happen when Genji winks. He snatches Jesse's shoulders and tosses them both down the hill, tumbling down across the grass together like a pair of children and Genji's laugh is contagious enough that Jesse can't help it when his own starts bubbling up his chest. They eventually roll to a stop before they get too dangerously close to gravel and rock, and Genji presses his face into Jesse's chest as his shoulders shake. Even though the last of Jesse's cigarette is now a mashed up, damp mess of pulp and tobacco, he can't be mad. "You _little_ devil, I probably have grass stains all over my shirt now."

"I couldn't help myself," Genji laughs, rolling off of Jesse to lay on his back and lace their fingers together. "You had no idea -- it was too good a chance to pass up. If you want, I can just get you a new shirt if I really ruined it."

Jesse shakes his head with a snort, closing his eyes with a smile. "Naw, I'm just teasin'. You're worth more than a million ruined dress shirts."

Genji falls silent for a moment before he pushes himself up on his elbows. Jesse opens his eyes to see Genji hanging over him, an exasperated smile on his lips as he shakes his head disbelievingly. He reaches his hand up to drag a thumb across Jesse’s cheekbone, eyes trailing slowly over his face like he’s memorizing it. “I don’t deserve you, Jesse McCree.” He dips his head down and kisses him, slow and soft, keeping their foreheads pressed together when he pulls away, sighing sweetly across Jesse’s lips. “I love you so fucking much.”

Jesse closes his eyes again, and he smiles contentedly. “You hold my heart in your hands, baby. You always have.”

Genji smiles against his cheek. “And I’ll never give it back.”

His heart trembles and sings. Jesse thinks he’ll be more than okay with that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with that, this story is at it's end! i cannot thank you all enough for your support, without it i never would have finished this massive undertaking, i'm serious. if i had told myself a year ago i was going to end up writing a fic that ended up surpassing 100k, i would have never believed myself!! lol
> 
> this fic is dedicated to all of you for making this possible, for keeping me motivated to continue writing and feeling confident enough to post it!!
> 
> until next time (perhaps soon?) i bit you all a farewell and my eternal gratitude!! 
> 
> with much love and thanks,
> 
> ghost
> 
> [tumblr](http://noirwatch.tumblr.com) || [twitter](https://twitter.com/blaclcwatch)


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